everything hurts

May 24, 2004 01:25

its a miserable feeling to be awake at 4am and realize you never went to sleep. i guess ive been too scared to sleep. im here alone for a week...everyone i know in charleston is gone, and my house isnt very secure. there was a cop in our neighborhood and i called the police department to find out what was up. apparently suspicious looking people were either hanging around someones car or driving a car i dont know. maybe it doesnt sound ike a big deal but it is to me. im super paranoid for various reasons i dont want to go into. im flat out scared and i dont want to be here anymore. as much as i disliked my roommate, she provided some sense of security. ive been lying in bed thinking too much about too many things and scratching because i itch...because i get itchy when i have anxiety. now i have that buzzed feeling that comes from lack of sleep and unfortunately not alcohol. i dont want to be here alone. i dont know what to do
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