(no subject)
Okay, this is a verr important entry, probably one ofthe most im portant i'll ever write, From now on i will be a little different than I otherwise expectedto be.
It's been a really confusing day. IT seems like the world is playing with my head. Just recently i had concluded that this town was barren of homosexual people i could talk to and connect with, but it seems i wasn't correct and that i am indeed friends with a really nice though verry strange gay guy. For tose fo you who know me well, you know that i've always suspected tht my Friedn TJ was gay, and not so surprisingly that turned out to be true.
Today during lunch time and my firend TJ was showing some of my frends a picture of a verry hunky guy and i came to find out that it is his onliine boyfriend. I then listened to every word he said andhung out with him and the girls he was talking to for a while, and slowly made ti clear that i was "openminded" and eventually revealed to them that i was bisexual. The glance inthe hallway between me and TJ later was certainly different than the usual acknowledgment, there was a new understanding I think.
Seeing as this is the closest step i've ever taken to being out of the closet, it's a big deal in my head.
I hope to talk to TJ soon and try to have soem kind of connection with him as a fellow homosexual in a homophobic little town. Though he has a boyfriend online (I have several) i can't help but wonde rwhat if he and i could handg out and get to know eachother, of only for companionship in this rather lonely place.
I am a little shook up by today's events and i will probably rant to my friends about it. today marks the begining of my homoseuality becoming mroe a part of my daily life offline, and more a possibility than ever before becuase i knoe someone else i can talk to about everything here.
I am exited and curious and verry unsettled by everything but I have hopes that things will turn out okay. I need to let things sink in and think about it and confer with my advisers...lol afew of which are reading this.
i guess i'll finish this entry by saying that i'm someone different from the person who woke up this morning and i don't know how ot handle this new variable in my equation for the life i thought i'd live, but i hope the answer is one i can lice with both as a christian and as a homosexual person, becuase both of those things are now so definitely entertwined in my life that i'd be broken without them. for my sanity's sake i hope that I can figure this all out.
It's been a really confusing day. IT seems like the world is playing with my head. Just recently i had concluded that this town was barren of homosexual people i could talk to and connect with, but it seems i wasn't correct and that i am indeed friends with a really nice though verry strange gay guy. For tose fo you who know me well, you know that i've always suspected tht my Friedn TJ was gay, and not so surprisingly that turned out to be true.
Today during lunch time and my firend TJ was showing some of my frends a picture of a verry hunky guy and i came to find out that it is his onliine boyfriend. I then listened to every word he said andhung out with him and the girls he was talking to for a while, and slowly made ti clear that i was "openminded" and eventually revealed to them that i was bisexual. The glance inthe hallway between me and TJ later was certainly different than the usual acknowledgment, there was a new understanding I think.
Seeing as this is the closest step i've ever taken to being out of the closet, it's a big deal in my head.
I hope to talk to TJ soon and try to have soem kind of connection with him as a fellow homosexual in a homophobic little town. Though he has a boyfriend online (I have several) i can't help but wonde rwhat if he and i could handg out and get to know eachother, of only for companionship in this rather lonely place.
I am a little shook up by today's events and i will probably rant to my friends about it. today marks the begining of my homoseuality becoming mroe a part of my daily life offline, and more a possibility than ever before becuase i knoe someone else i can talk to about everything here.
I am exited and curious and verry unsettled by everything but I have hopes that things will turn out okay. I need to let things sink in and think about it and confer with my advisers...lol afew of which are reading this.
i guess i'll finish this entry by saying that i'm someone different from the person who woke up this morning and i don't know how ot handle this new variable in my equation for the life i thought i'd live, but i hope the answer is one i can lice with both as a christian and as a homosexual person, becuase both of those things are now so definitely entertwined in my life that i'd be broken without them. for my sanity's sake i hope that I can figure this all out.