(no subject)
Hey everybody, I am writing today because I have written some poems that I want some feedback on:
This is a song that I wrote called "Obsession"
I have known you forever
We've been through ups and downs together
But I've really only know you as my friend
You and me, forever 'til the end
Until, one day, I saw you in a different way
You seemed much more than just oooookkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy
(Chorus)
I've been fighting this obsession
Days and days of just depression
Now it's time to stand up tall
'Cuz you're the one, you're my all
(End of Chorus)
You're my one and only
Never been lonely
Around yyyyyyyooooooouuuuuuuuuu Around you
I may not be the perfect girl
But I'm your best friend in the world
I know your thoughts, your dreams, your fears
I've been with you for all these years
I'd do it all again
If I knew you were my friend
(Chorus)
You are my one true love
You are a perfect white dove
In my eyes
That's where my heart lies
No more fighting this obsession
Now I'm cured of all depression
I have finally stood up tall
and I gave it my all
Gave it my all
(fade out)
Now one poem that I ahd to write for Mrs. Hatcher called "Horses"
Horses
Graceful, Majestic
Trotting, Cantering, Galloping
Creature of the wind
Leaping, Jogging, Stomping
Skilled, Rhythmic
Amazing
Now one that I wrote called "Onion Rings"
Rings of fire
In my mouth
Take a drink
Fire's gone south
Now one entitled "Fast Food"
Greasy Burgers
Curly Fries
Nice and Tasty
In my eyes
Now one entitled "Talent" (I like this One)
Everyone has talent
No talents are the same
Some just make you happy
While others lead to fame
This is my favorite called "Lost Love"
When our eyes met across a room
A simple crush began
But when you said you loved me
I became confused and ran
I thought I knew what love was
So simple, yet so deep
I knew that you were my love
So your heart I vowed to keep
I never told you how felt
I feel so stupid now
I guess that's why you left me
Because I never kept my vow
I loved you once upon a time
And now I love you still
You hurt me when you left me
But our love you'll never kill
Now one called Dreams (It's not very good)
Dreams are what you truly want
Not in your mind but deep in your heart
So whatever you do don't give up on a dream
It may be more than what it seems
Now one called Wish (I like this one too)
Make a wish, dare to dream
Stare at the sky, or swim in a stream
Live your life, have some fun
Stay inside or play in the sun
Love the world and those who don't
Maybe they can't, or maybe they won't (cough: Chris Darnell)
Show your true colors, show the real you
And then you can say that you're living true
And Now one that I think will appeal to the popular people entitled Find Yourself
You're popular, smart, and so entertaining
But maybe you'll have some trouble explaining
Who you are, or where you came from
And then you will find yourself feeling so glum
Dig deep in your heart
And then you will see
That you're missing a part
And that part is a key
A key to your present, future, and past
That has always been covered by the shadow you cast
So gaze in the mirror, and take a long look
At the person you are, and the person they took
Now I am going to tell you what my poems mean and why I wrote them:
I wrote obsession because I am hoping to be able to sing it sometime or have someone sing it for me
Horses is about my love in life: Riding horses and actually being able to care for them. I wrote this because Mrs. Hatcher and because I love horses so much.
Onion Rings is talking about onion rings that are dipped in spicy onion ring sauce because I love onion rings.
Fast Food is about all the good foods that come from fast food restaurants because I love curly fries!!
I wrote talent because I wanted to let everyone out there knwo that they have a purpose in life no matter how much they think they don't, everyone needs to show their talents to the world.
Lost Love is my favorite because it talks about me and a life experience I have had and that I still have. Now I won't mention who but I do have a lost love that I miss and I wish over and over that I could have told him how I felt about him but I am so shy that I didn't know how to express my feelings to him!!!
I was looking at a poster that I have in my room with a little kitten and a big tiger and it says dream big!! and that is why I wrote dreams, the poster inspired me.
Wish is something I threw together and I love it because it talks about being yourself and listening to your heart, not what everyone else wants you to listen to.
Find yourself is a very sloppy poem that I wrote but I wrote it for a reason. I want to inspire those who are hiding behind a mask to be themselves. I know who is hiding and who isn't but I am going to let them decide their fate and I'm not going to get in the way!!!
Now I want your feedback on these poems, tell me your favorites, your least favorites, or just tell me how I can fix them.!!!!
This is a song that I wrote called "Obsession"
I have known you forever
We've been through ups and downs together
But I've really only know you as my friend
You and me, forever 'til the end
Until, one day, I saw you in a different way
You seemed much more than just oooookkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy
(Chorus)
I've been fighting this obsession
Days and days of just depression
Now it's time to stand up tall
'Cuz you're the one, you're my all
(End of Chorus)
You're my one and only
Never been lonely
Around yyyyyyyooooooouuuuuuuuuu Around you
I may not be the perfect girl
But I'm your best friend in the world
I know your thoughts, your dreams, your fears
I've been with you for all these years
I'd do it all again
If I knew you were my friend
(Chorus)
You are my one true love
You are a perfect white dove
In my eyes
That's where my heart lies
No more fighting this obsession
Now I'm cured of all depression
I have finally stood up tall
and I gave it my all
Gave it my all
(fade out)
Now one poem that I ahd to write for Mrs. Hatcher called "Horses"
Horses
Graceful, Majestic
Trotting, Cantering, Galloping
Creature of the wind
Leaping, Jogging, Stomping
Skilled, Rhythmic
Amazing
Now one that I wrote called "Onion Rings"
Rings of fire
In my mouth
Take a drink
Fire's gone south
Now one entitled "Fast Food"
Greasy Burgers
Curly Fries
Nice and Tasty
In my eyes
Now one entitled "Talent" (I like this One)
Everyone has talent
No talents are the same
Some just make you happy
While others lead to fame
This is my favorite called "Lost Love"
When our eyes met across a room
A simple crush began
But when you said you loved me
I became confused and ran
I thought I knew what love was
So simple, yet so deep
I knew that you were my love
So your heart I vowed to keep
I never told you how felt
I feel so stupid now
I guess that's why you left me
Because I never kept my vow
I loved you once upon a time
And now I love you still
You hurt me when you left me
But our love you'll never kill
Now one called Dreams (It's not very good)
Dreams are what you truly want
Not in your mind but deep in your heart
So whatever you do don't give up on a dream
It may be more than what it seems
Now one called Wish (I like this one too)
Make a wish, dare to dream
Stare at the sky, or swim in a stream
Live your life, have some fun
Stay inside or play in the sun
Love the world and those who don't
Maybe they can't, or maybe they won't (cough: Chris Darnell)
Show your true colors, show the real you
And then you can say that you're living true
And Now one that I think will appeal to the popular people entitled Find Yourself
You're popular, smart, and so entertaining
But maybe you'll have some trouble explaining
Who you are, or where you came from
And then you will find yourself feeling so glum
Dig deep in your heart
And then you will see
That you're missing a part
And that part is a key
A key to your present, future, and past
That has always been covered by the shadow you cast
So gaze in the mirror, and take a long look
At the person you are, and the person they took
Now I am going to tell you what my poems mean and why I wrote them:
I wrote obsession because I am hoping to be able to sing it sometime or have someone sing it for me
Horses is about my love in life: Riding horses and actually being able to care for them. I wrote this because Mrs. Hatcher and because I love horses so much.
Onion Rings is talking about onion rings that are dipped in spicy onion ring sauce because I love onion rings.
Fast Food is about all the good foods that come from fast food restaurants because I love curly fries!!
I wrote talent because I wanted to let everyone out there knwo that they have a purpose in life no matter how much they think they don't, everyone needs to show their talents to the world.
Lost Love is my favorite because it talks about me and a life experience I have had and that I still have. Now I won't mention who but I do have a lost love that I miss and I wish over and over that I could have told him how I felt about him but I am so shy that I didn't know how to express my feelings to him!!!
I was looking at a poster that I have in my room with a little kitten and a big tiger and it says dream big!! and that is why I wrote dreams, the poster inspired me.
Wish is something I threw together and I love it because it talks about being yourself and listening to your heart, not what everyone else wants you to listen to.
Find yourself is a very sloppy poem that I wrote but I wrote it for a reason. I want to inspire those who are hiding behind a mask to be themselves. I know who is hiding and who isn't but I am going to let them decide their fate and I'm not going to get in the way!!!
Now I want your feedback on these poems, tell me your favorites, your least favorites, or just tell me how I can fix them.!!!!