Little Mac time!
Me and jeff went to a great show last night: Killswitch Engage, From Autumn to Ashes, Eighteen Visions, and 36 Crazyfists. It was a great show, the mosh pit was in effect despite those faggot hardcore dancers (who hit a new low in my book last night by performing wrestling moves on each other). I think I'm becoming addicted to these kind of shows.
Little Mac: Behind the Beatdowns
Most of you probably remember (and if you don't...I have nothing left to say to you) the 1987 Nintendo classic, Mike Tyson's Punch Out!! We all remember improving our rapid finger movement to defeat the likes of Don Flamenco and *shudder* Mr. Sandman. However, most people have not heard the oft overlooked story of the star of the show, Little Mac. From his humble beginnings as a meat packer to his haunting addictions and finally his rise to glory.
Tonight on Behind the Beatdowns, the Story of Little Mac.
Macdonald "Little Mac" Gracy came to the USA in the early 80s, as part of his parents ill-conceived plan to sell Mac into slavery for "40 American dollars and a Falco record." However, after meeting Mac at the docks, the slavers determined he was absolutely useless in every way. After being literally kicked to the curb, Mac picked up the pieces (once again literally, they knocked out several teeth) and went looking for work.
Mac was turned down time and time again, hearing such reasons as "too ugly" "too short" and "fucking retarded." In the process, Mac slowly learned English, and in a matter of hours was able to say complete sentences such as, "Where be my Falco record, you ugly, short retard?"
Finally, at his 47th interview, Wolfgong Kaiserblade, a rich meat tycoon decided he liked Mac's moxie and gave him a job. Shortly after being hired, Mac realized a fun way to pass the time was to punch the giant slabs of meat while watching boxing on the grainy black and white television. He came to call it beating his meat, a double entendre that he still doesn't understand to this day. Mac didn't really understand the rules, but as far as he could figure the object was to beat your opponent to near death and then receive enough money to buy "many Falco vinyl." His dream was soon dashed when a coworker told him the Minor Circuit would never allow a 16 year old to box, much less one who was only 4'2" short. Mac's determination was shook to the foundation.
When we return on Behind the Beatdowns, Mac's big break was about to come, in the form of a 42 year old parole violator named "Doc" Louis.
"Doc" Louis Brown got his nickname in prison, where he was known to walk around giving free "medical" advice such as "Eat all ya collard greens!" and "Don't let the turkey use all the pancake syrup!" Actually Doc wasn't given his nickname, it was simply that it you didn't call him Doc he would bleed you with the nearest shiv, and he could make a shiv out of anything. Several former inmates claimed he once made a shiv out of a stick of butter, a rubber band, a toilet paper roll, and a handful of nails, which Doc simply called "Nurse, I needs a Scalpel SCAT!" Doc was sentenced to six months in a mimimum security prison for forging the President's signature but his sentence kept getting increased because of his constant, unprovoked shivings. He even shived the daughter of the prison's head guard, shouting "I squash that bug!" After spending a record breaking 7 years in solitary confinement, Doc was ready to hit the streets.
On one fateful morning in late September, the lives of two people whose very existences were questionable were about to be intertwined by serendipity. Mac was walking to the meat plant, furious that the previous night when he was supposed to receive his very first pay raise his boss actually reduced his pay to below minimum wage (which, at the time, was $2.75 an hour). He was walking past Pine Oaks Elementary School when a fat bully mistook him for a fellow classmate. At the same time, walking towards the general hardware store for the final ingredient in creating a scalpel was newly free Doc Louis. When he realized he spent his last few bucks on a crack rock, Doc decided to mug one of the school children for their milk money. Before he could make it over to the playground, he saw the events unfold.
The fat bully demanded Mac give him his shoes. Mac didn't want to give up his shoes, which, at the time, were just two kleenex boxes. After no further provocation, Mac lept onto the bully and pinned him to the ground. After pummeling the young man nearly to death, he realized boxing may truly be his calling. At the same time, Doc realized he might, in some way, be able to exploit Mac's animalistic fury. Doc ran over to Mac, knowing the cops may overreact to Mac's course of action.
"C'mon shortshank, let's make like a brick and get tha fuck outta heeyah!"
When we return to Behind the Beatdowns, Doc and Mac make their mark on the amateur ranks.
Little Mac: Behind the Beatdowns
Most of you probably remember (and if you don't...I have nothing left to say to you) the 1987 Nintendo classic, Mike Tyson's Punch Out!! We all remember improving our rapid finger movement to defeat the likes of Don Flamenco and *shudder* Mr. Sandman. However, most people have not heard the oft overlooked story of the star of the show, Little Mac. From his humble beginnings as a meat packer to his haunting addictions and finally his rise to glory.
Tonight on Behind the Beatdowns, the Story of Little Mac.
Macdonald "Little Mac" Gracy came to the USA in the early 80s, as part of his parents ill-conceived plan to sell Mac into slavery for "40 American dollars and a Falco record." However, after meeting Mac at the docks, the slavers determined he was absolutely useless in every way. After being literally kicked to the curb, Mac picked up the pieces (once again literally, they knocked out several teeth) and went looking for work.
Mac was turned down time and time again, hearing such reasons as "too ugly" "too short" and "fucking retarded." In the process, Mac slowly learned English, and in a matter of hours was able to say complete sentences such as, "Where be my Falco record, you ugly, short retard?"
Finally, at his 47th interview, Wolfgong Kaiserblade, a rich meat tycoon decided he liked Mac's moxie and gave him a job. Shortly after being hired, Mac realized a fun way to pass the time was to punch the giant slabs of meat while watching boxing on the grainy black and white television. He came to call it beating his meat, a double entendre that he still doesn't understand to this day. Mac didn't really understand the rules, but as far as he could figure the object was to beat your opponent to near death and then receive enough money to buy "many Falco vinyl." His dream was soon dashed when a coworker told him the Minor Circuit would never allow a 16 year old to box, much less one who was only 4'2" short. Mac's determination was shook to the foundation.
When we return on Behind the Beatdowns, Mac's big break was about to come, in the form of a 42 year old parole violator named "Doc" Louis.
"Doc" Louis Brown got his nickname in prison, where he was known to walk around giving free "medical" advice such as "Eat all ya collard greens!" and "Don't let the turkey use all the pancake syrup!" Actually Doc wasn't given his nickname, it was simply that it you didn't call him Doc he would bleed you with the nearest shiv, and he could make a shiv out of anything. Several former inmates claimed he once made a shiv out of a stick of butter, a rubber band, a toilet paper roll, and a handful of nails, which Doc simply called "Nurse, I needs a Scalpel SCAT!" Doc was sentenced to six months in a mimimum security prison for forging the President's signature but his sentence kept getting increased because of his constant, unprovoked shivings. He even shived the daughter of the prison's head guard, shouting "I squash that bug!" After spending a record breaking 7 years in solitary confinement, Doc was ready to hit the streets.
On one fateful morning in late September, the lives of two people whose very existences were questionable were about to be intertwined by serendipity. Mac was walking to the meat plant, furious that the previous night when he was supposed to receive his very first pay raise his boss actually reduced his pay to below minimum wage (which, at the time, was $2.75 an hour). He was walking past Pine Oaks Elementary School when a fat bully mistook him for a fellow classmate. At the same time, walking towards the general hardware store for the final ingredient in creating a scalpel was newly free Doc Louis. When he realized he spent his last few bucks on a crack rock, Doc decided to mug one of the school children for their milk money. Before he could make it over to the playground, he saw the events unfold.
The fat bully demanded Mac give him his shoes. Mac didn't want to give up his shoes, which, at the time, were just two kleenex boxes. After no further provocation, Mac lept onto the bully and pinned him to the ground. After pummeling the young man nearly to death, he realized boxing may truly be his calling. At the same time, Doc realized he might, in some way, be able to exploit Mac's animalistic fury. Doc ran over to Mac, knowing the cops may overreact to Mac's course of action.
"C'mon shortshank, let's make like a brick and get tha fuck outta heeyah!"
When we return to Behind the Beatdowns, Doc and Mac make their mark on the amateur ranks.