Almost Lover - Chapter 5: The Doe
Title: Almost Lover
Pairing: Logan/Marie (Rogan)
Rating: PG-13
Verse: AU
Genre: Angst, Shipper, Drama
Disclaimer: I don't own X-MEN. X-MEN © Marvel
Summary: Logan has dreams about a certain heartache...one that he could've prevented.
Author's Notes: First couple chapters are short. Just a warning.
As I ran with the pack, I felt free. Free from the memories of Marie; free from Jean’s persistence in making me feel better; free from trying to just be Logan. This was who I really was. This was who I was meant to be since the day I was born. I wasn’t meant to live in confinement, especially not the invisible confinement Xavier had put me in. You can’t cage the Wolverine. You. Just. Can’t. No matter how hard you try it will find a way out, find a way to the surface.
We continued to run. The dirt was soft under my bare feet. The mountain breeze swept through my hair. Then I smelled a deer. It wasn’t far from where we were. I stopped dead in my tracks. The pack followed suit. I closed my eyes and let the smell of the deer find me. It took me only a few moments to find the direction it was in: north. I let out a low growl, signaling the pack to follow me. We quietly headed in the direction of the deer.
It only took about ten minutes to find it. It was a young doe. She was grazing in a small meadow, her back to us. We waited there for a few moments, looking for an opening before attacking her head on. We came at her from all sides, and I positioned myself for the killing blow. She was a strong one, but eventually the wolves pinned her down, allowing me to finish her. I took my right hand, claws out, and drove them straight into the doe’s heart. She convulsed for a few moments, and then with one last gasp for air…she was gone.
The animal was at its peak, and it flowed like a river through my body. I let out an accomplished growl. The wolves howled wickedly. Then I looked down at the dead animal beneath me. Only…instead of a doe, I saw Marie. I saw her broken body, lying in a pool of her own blood. I saw fresh tears upon her face, falling from fearful eyes. I sank to my knees. What have I done? I thought to myself. What have I done?
Those words continued to play over and over again in my mind. Tears were flowing from my eyes. I was breathing heavily, my hands clenched. This was what Marie had been: just a harmless doe, murdered at the hand of a monster.
I hunched over, my face inches away from the doe’s. I grabbed the doe by the head, and stroked its muzzle with my thumbs. Its velvety fur reminded me of Marie’s long black gloves. I wept tears of the deepest sorrow.
The wolves felt my pain and tried to make me feel better. They licked my arms and whimpered. After a few moments I stood up, scooping the doe into my arms. The wolves did not pounce at the carcass. They knew what I wanted to do with it.
The pack and I walked to where the doe had been grazing earlier. It was a sunny spot with lots of succulent plants to be eaten. I placed the doe next to a small patch of wild sunflowers - Marie’s favorite. Even up to the day she died, Marie had always kept a small vase full of them next to her bed. They were simple, but elegant-just like her.
I gently placed the doe next to the sunflowers. It was beautiful, even in death. I kneeled down, and carefully closed its eyes. As I went to stand back up, I ran my fingers slowly down its muzzle, remembering how Marie’s black gloves felt.
Pairing: Logan/Marie (Rogan)
Rating: PG-13
Verse: AU
Genre: Angst, Shipper, Drama
Disclaimer: I don't own X-MEN. X-MEN © Marvel
Summary: Logan has dreams about a certain heartache...one that he could've prevented.
Author's Notes: First couple chapters are short. Just a warning.
As I ran with the pack, I felt free. Free from the memories of Marie; free from Jean’s persistence in making me feel better; free from trying to just be Logan. This was who I really was. This was who I was meant to be since the day I was born. I wasn’t meant to live in confinement, especially not the invisible confinement Xavier had put me in. You can’t cage the Wolverine. You. Just. Can’t. No matter how hard you try it will find a way out, find a way to the surface.
We continued to run. The dirt was soft under my bare feet. The mountain breeze swept through my hair. Then I smelled a deer. It wasn’t far from where we were. I stopped dead in my tracks. The pack followed suit. I closed my eyes and let the smell of the deer find me. It took me only a few moments to find the direction it was in: north. I let out a low growl, signaling the pack to follow me. We quietly headed in the direction of the deer.
It only took about ten minutes to find it. It was a young doe. She was grazing in a small meadow, her back to us. We waited there for a few moments, looking for an opening before attacking her head on. We came at her from all sides, and I positioned myself for the killing blow. She was a strong one, but eventually the wolves pinned her down, allowing me to finish her. I took my right hand, claws out, and drove them straight into the doe’s heart. She convulsed for a few moments, and then with one last gasp for air…she was gone.
The animal was at its peak, and it flowed like a river through my body. I let out an accomplished growl. The wolves howled wickedly. Then I looked down at the dead animal beneath me. Only…instead of a doe, I saw Marie. I saw her broken body, lying in a pool of her own blood. I saw fresh tears upon her face, falling from fearful eyes. I sank to my knees. What have I done? I thought to myself. What have I done?
Those words continued to play over and over again in my mind. Tears were flowing from my eyes. I was breathing heavily, my hands clenched. This was what Marie had been: just a harmless doe, murdered at the hand of a monster.
I hunched over, my face inches away from the doe’s. I grabbed the doe by the head, and stroked its muzzle with my thumbs. Its velvety fur reminded me of Marie’s long black gloves. I wept tears of the deepest sorrow.
The wolves felt my pain and tried to make me feel better. They licked my arms and whimpered. After a few moments I stood up, scooping the doe into my arms. The wolves did not pounce at the carcass. They knew what I wanted to do with it.
The pack and I walked to where the doe had been grazing earlier. It was a sunny spot with lots of succulent plants to be eaten. I placed the doe next to a small patch of wild sunflowers - Marie’s favorite. Even up to the day she died, Marie had always kept a small vase full of them next to her bed. They were simple, but elegant-just like her.
I gently placed the doe next to the sunflowers. It was beautiful, even in death. I kneeled down, and carefully closed its eyes. As I went to stand back up, I ran my fingers slowly down its muzzle, remembering how Marie’s black gloves felt.