I Threw My Happiness Away…
Sometimes I cannot stand my friends. You see every since BJ and I began hanging out in a romantic way my so called best friend, Rakai, has been kind of jealous. He called me tonight saying that he likes BJ, and claims that I should have known it. Here's the thing...Rakai and I had so many conversations about BJ, months before she and I began liking each other. I asked him so many times "do you like BJ?" "And if you do...then tell her!" So I spent months trying to get the two together, but Rakai kept denying his true feelings for her. Keep in mind that I knew Rakai had feelings for BJ, but BJ didn’t like him at the time. AND he was the one who was telling me "do my thing and got for her." So why the hell is he mad at me now? He had all the time in the world to get with her...but he didn't take it.
...So I told BJ that we couldn't be together...it just wouldn't work. Despite how mad I am at Rakai at the moment, he is still my best friend. I have known him almost all my life, much longer then BJ. I can't throw away our friendship over this. Of course BJ didn't like what I done and doesn't want to speak to me for a while. Hopefully she will understand why I did what I did. But did I get a thank you from Rakai from my scarf ice? NO! I gave up my happiness to keep our friendship. Yet I feel as though what I done was a waste. But despite all of this...Rakai and I are still very close. I think he does value what I done for him, but he is too proud to admit it. No doubt he feels bad. I know some of you might hate me for what I done...but I'm sure if you deeply care for your best friend...a friend you have known for almost al of your life...wouldn't you do the same thing? But please don't blame me. BJ wasn't as "pure" as I thought...but she is still precious to me.
Rakai...I hope you value what I have done and be BJ’s true love...because I gave up my happiness for you.
BJ...I love you...please forgive me. Thanks for the date...it was the best moment of my life. This is for the best.
God I feel empty…
...So I told BJ that we couldn't be together...it just wouldn't work. Despite how mad I am at Rakai at the moment, he is still my best friend. I have known him almost all my life, much longer then BJ. I can't throw away our friendship over this. Of course BJ didn't like what I done and doesn't want to speak to me for a while. Hopefully she will understand why I did what I did. But did I get a thank you from Rakai from my scarf ice? NO! I gave up my happiness to keep our friendship. Yet I feel as though what I done was a waste. But despite all of this...Rakai and I are still very close. I think he does value what I done for him, but he is too proud to admit it. No doubt he feels bad. I know some of you might hate me for what I done...but I'm sure if you deeply care for your best friend...a friend you have known for almost al of your life...wouldn't you do the same thing? But please don't blame me. BJ wasn't as "pure" as I thought...but she is still precious to me.
Rakai...I hope you value what I have done and be BJ’s true love...because I gave up my happiness for you.
BJ...I love you...please forgive me. Thanks for the date...it was the best moment of my life. This is for the best.
God I feel empty…