004. Antisthenes Corollaries - Published in Neo Genesis Daily.
My boss, amen of signing my paycheck (which puts him a whole head above the recalcitrant examples of why abortion should be institutionalized I deal with on a daily basis), has two fatal flaws I'm afraid will either get him enshrined (as a living Buddha, one can hope) or strangled (far more plausible).
The first one being his unmovable determination to be happy and positive. This could be because he's either truly, honestly willing to believe everything has a good side, or because he enjoys the sound of ulcers exploding every time he bounces into a room with a cheerful smile and a high pitched squeal that'd make gerbils die of jealousy. It's late and there's still a tower of gibberish that needs editing into actual language? Fear not, the curfew is over! Senator Liebert's fangirls are cat fighting again in the coffee room? At least we have him back, instead of some reclusive military dogs!
Needless to say, those goodnatured bursts of positive thinking tend to be counter productive when one takes into consideration the lack of decent coffee and passable company. If his intentions are to create an enjoyable working atmosphere and prompt a sense of camaraderie among the poor souls that inhabit the office, I must say he fails spectacularly. If, however, his intention is to pierce livers and enjoy the sound of ulcers spontaneously bubbling all around, his success is complete.
The other flaw, and quite possibly the one that will lead him to an early grave, is that he fancies himself a man of humor. I wonder what it says about this city if instead of celebrating its anniversary we are quite content (not particularly) in indulging a childish holiday in which the most moronic displays of humor are broadcast for the world to see. Then again, our government seems to be gracious enough to indulge it...
Makes you wonder how indulgent they'd be, if the general consensus were different.
And, before I forget. To the most gracious lady that saw fit to write me a thesis - or a novel, I haven't bothered to revise the fiction standards these days - about the virtues of diets in today society and my role in the oppression against the fair sex (fair being an euphemism for something that's neither here nor now) ...my dearest ma'am, I am not, in any way, a misogynist. I don't hate women. I just hate the thousand or so quirks that come with being a woman and which I'm invariably forced to withstand to fulfill the most basic needs in life: a plate of pesto that doesn't taste of pest...ilence. If anything, it's you, o champion of frustrated feminism, that's clearly discriminating here.
Dirty lies, my readers, I don't hate women; I hate you all, equally.
--- Superbi Squalo writes a weekly column, Antisthenes Corollaries, for Neo Genesis Daily, as well as contributing with editorial work. Commentary on the column and further discussion boards can be found at his own blog.
((ooc: Late post is late, sorry. Backdated to yesterday. OTL))
The first one being his unmovable determination to be happy and positive. This could be because he's either truly, honestly willing to believe everything has a good side, or because he enjoys the sound of ulcers exploding every time he bounces into a room with a cheerful smile and a high pitched squeal that'd make gerbils die of jealousy. It's late and there's still a tower of gibberish that needs editing into actual language? Fear not, the curfew is over! Senator Liebert's fangirls are cat fighting again in the coffee room? At least we have him back, instead of some reclusive military dogs!
Needless to say, those goodnatured bursts of positive thinking tend to be counter productive when one takes into consideration the lack of decent coffee and passable company. If his intentions are to create an enjoyable working atmosphere and prompt a sense of camaraderie among the poor souls that inhabit the office, I must say he fails spectacularly. If, however, his intention is to pierce livers and enjoy the sound of ulcers spontaneously bubbling all around, his success is complete.
The other flaw, and quite possibly the one that will lead him to an early grave, is that he fancies himself a man of humor. I wonder what it says about this city if instead of celebrating its anniversary we are quite content (not particularly) in indulging a childish holiday in which the most moronic displays of humor are broadcast for the world to see. Then again, our government seems to be gracious enough to indulge it...
Makes you wonder how indulgent they'd be, if the general consensus were different.
And, before I forget. To the most gracious lady that saw fit to write me a thesis - or a novel, I haven't bothered to revise the fiction standards these days - about the virtues of diets in today society and my role in the oppression against the fair sex (fair being an euphemism for something that's neither here nor now) ...my dearest ma'am, I am not, in any way, a misogynist. I don't hate women. I just hate the thousand or so quirks that come with being a woman and which I'm invariably forced to withstand to fulfill the most basic needs in life: a plate of pesto that doesn't taste of pest...ilence. If anything, it's you, o champion of frustrated feminism, that's clearly discriminating here.
Dirty lies, my readers, I don't hate women; I hate you all, equally.
--- Superbi Squalo writes a weekly column, Antisthenes Corollaries, for Neo Genesis Daily, as well as contributing with editorial work. Commentary on the column and further discussion boards can be found at his own blog.
((ooc: Late post is late, sorry. Backdated to yesterday. OTL))