The Vampire Diaries
I’m currently working my way through season one of The Vampire Diaries and I thought I’d share my impressions of the series thus far:
[Mild spoilers to follow]
-The vampires don’t sparkle. Automatic plus. It’s sad when that’s the litmus test on the coolness of the creatures of the night.
-Stephan and Damon Salvatore? What is it with vampires trying to frill up their names. Italian my ass? Yo name is Steve. Steve Smith. And yo name is Darryl. Darryl Smith. Quit lying and perpetrating.
-Paul Wesley as delectable as ever. Been a fan of his since the Fallen and the Peaceful Warrior. I suspect that they finally released the Fallen on DVD simply because the Vampire Diaries is such a huge hit. Oh well, I’ll take my victories where I can get them.
-While the archetypal female lead ingénue, Elena is not as annoying as most characters who fill this role a la Joey from Dawson’s Creek or Bella Swan.
-Whiny stupid teen angsty drama, I knew it was going to be par for the course but I’m rolling my eyes and shaking my head all the same. It would be nice if another series took a page out of Buffy or Daria’s playbook where the teens are actually precocious as opposed to clichés of obnoxious entitled brats taking a sophomoric approach to life.
-Very strong backstory and mythos with Mystic Falls, Va. I’m feeling this.
-Overarching mystery to keep the viewer hooked. Nicely done.
-Mama Trager from Kyle XY. Woohoo!!!!!!
-Zach Roerig! Great to see him again. And looking nice as always.
-Actually there’s quite a lot of eye candy on the series. And hello baby bro. Jeremy’s hawtness factor went up 1000x fold now that Damon got rid of that whiny emo druggie angst. Quite delectable.
-Jasmine Guy as a grandmother to a teenager? Really? I’m not seeing it. Not an aunt but a grandmother? Somebody in casting must seriously have a mad cougar fetish to cast such a hawt young woman as a…….wait a minute.
*puts fists on hips and glares at box_in_the_box*
BOX!!!!!!!! I’M ON TO YOU AND YO DEVIANT CASTING MACHINATIONS!!!!!!!!!
-But I’m not complaining. I’ll take the beautiful and talented Jasmine Guy any way I can get her.
-Mad props to the casting directors as they’re bringing their A-game with the guest stars and the recurring characters: Jasmine Guy, Mia Kirshner, Kelly Hu, James Remar, Bianca Lawson, Sean Faris (mmmmmmmm Sean), Gina Torres, Melinda Clarke (the HBIC of the O.C.) just to name a few.
-Interesting. More POCs have been featured in the small rural town of Mystic Falls than there has been on shows that take place in larger metropolitan cities such as New York and Los Angeles: Friends, Sex and the City, the OC, 90210 1.0, Melrose Place 1.0, Seinfeld, Charmed, 98 percent of NBC’s sitcoms, etc. Just saying.
-I like Lexi! She’s awesome. One of my favorite characters.
-NO THEY DID NOT JUST KILL HER OFF!
-My baby Gina Torres is guest-starring.
-NO! YOU DID NOT JUST KILL HER OFF! YOU DO NOT ONE-SHOT THE GODDESS THAT IS GINA TORRES!!!!
*crosses arms and glares at the producers*
-Hopefully they’ll bring her and Lexi back in a flashback or something.
-You killed off Sean Faris too. OH NOES!!!!!!!
-Matt, Stephan, and Damon are all about Elena. She’s fine, no denying it but come on. We got the white girl vanilla milkshake trope at play. The mythical white girl whose mere caucasian femininity of a vanilla milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like it’s better than yours, damn right, it’s better than yours, she could teach you but then she’d have to charge. Real talk, if your white hero/heroine has more than two love interests vying for their affection, and they aren't a British secret agent, and no love potion/incubi/succubi or other supernatural machinations are at play, you’re falling into Sookie Stackhouse or worse Bella Swan territory and seriously need to dial it back like whoa.
-Seriously, Vampire Diaries does a great job of introducing these compelling and interesting characters but they kill them off before they have a chance to actualize their full potential.
-Yo Caroline! Blondie you got one more again to use another bigoted slur. You’re not edgy, you’re just trash. Use the term “hot tranny mess” again, call someone an “Indian giver” again and I promise you, abusive pretty boy vampires are gonna be the least of your problems.
-Mia Kirshner as Isobel. I’m worried now. If you’ve seen her work as Jenny Schecter on the L-Word then you know Ms. Kirshner is a mistress of playing the villainesses.
-Bonnie Bennett. OH EM EFFIN GEE!!!!!!!! FULL ON WIN. Yes she’s the black best friend but she actually has a front burner storyline INDEPENDENT of the Stephan/Bonnie/Damon triangle. She’s bright, funny, smart, beautiful, fiercely loyal and could easily carry her own series as a leading heroine. She's lovable, sensible and isn't the sassy best friend or the ghetto hoochie mama. Shes' intelligent, sophisticated and FIERCE. But don't get it twisted, as certain vamps and mean girls learned, she'll burn a bitch down if you cross her. She actually embarks on a journey to discover her heritage and her legacy as a witch. Shades of Willow from Buffy pervade but I don’t mind because it’s being done right. Bonnie’s life does not revolve around Elena’s drama and Bonnie’s storyline is actually just as compelling (in many respects moreso) than the main storyline and it makes the overall show that much richer when Bonnie’s storyline intersects with the main plot. I’m loving this. And OMG! She actually had a brief romance with Sean Faris, the hawtest guy on the show, and probably one of the more redeemable male characters. Hey! Don’t give me that look, especially from you Damonites. I’ll get to him in a second. Granted it didn’t end well and he may have tried to kill her but hey, she nabbed Sean Faris. Even her ancestor Emily, Katherine’s slave, whose raison d’etre revolved around Katherine’s existence, was fleshed out as a three-dimensional character, had her own station, her own storyline and was a formidable powerful character (as a legendary sorceress and matriarch of her kin) in her own right. Ironically the slave portrayal of Emily is actually more progressive than most depictions of black women in the media in a post Emancipated Proclamated America where the black best friend waits on hand and foot at the beck and call for the white heroine of the story. How’s that for fucked up irony? Emily is an actual slave, what’s the black best friends’ excuse? I’m really feeling what they’re doing with Bennett and for her alone I’m going to continue to tune in to see what happens next.
-I waited until the show hit DVD so I could watch all the episodes at once. I knew the show was a hit and it had received a lot of buzz. But what’s more disturbing than that is how he murders people close to both Stephan and Elena and they just shrug their shoulders and pat him on the head.
“That’s our Damon!”
Seriously. This guy murders Stephan’s best friend, kills their nephew in cold blood and turns one of Elena’s friend who has to be put down and Elena is still “trying to see the good in Damon” and Stephan is pretty much like: Yo Bro, let’s go to the Grill, play some pool and have some brewskies dude.
Handling antagonists is tricky business, especially if we’re supposed to empathize with them. He’s a vampire and not a nice-guy, I get that and if he was only murdering redshirts that would be one thing. That’s how Spike was able to be accepted as a Scooby and how Drusilla (who offed Kendra played by Bianca Lawson who also portrays Emily) wouldn’t be able to. Or even Eric Northman from True Blood. They don’t prop him up as a good guy or even someone deserving of sympathy. He’s a creep but he owns it and doesn’t apologize for it and no one else makes excuses for him (Sookie notwithstanding).
How many times does Damon have to murder people in your life before you actually do something about it? And anyone else who calls him on it or takes action against him is vilified.
Stephan keeps telling everyone that he’ll handle Damon but he does nothing and more people get killed. And he knows Damon won’t hurt Elena so he couldn’t care less about anyone else.
And Anna was right to call out Elena. Elena keeps inviting the drama and keeps going right back into it. While that relationship is not as destructive as Culen and Swan's (granted that ain't saying much), it does warrant pause.
A lot of my friends raved about the show. But the one character I heard about more than anyone else was Damon. OMG! Damon, Damon, Damon!!! Watching him in action, I’m shaking my head and have a question for all you ladies (and some of you gay boys) out there: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL?!!!!
Don’t get it twisted. I’m not hating on Ian Somerhaulder. He’s 10 kinds of fine and he’s a very talented actor. He owns this role and handles it with enough nuance and style to keep from being over-the-top like too many actors would do. I don’t even dislike Damon the character so much as I do the writing of everyone’s reaction to him.
Look I get liking bad boys. God knows I’ve been with a few. And okay more than once I’ve even been accused of being one myself. But Damon’s a douchebag. This guy would skull-fuck his own mother before turning her out on the streets just for the fun of it. What perplexes me is that the same folks who will call out Edward Cullen are the same people who actively defending this pompous ass. He’s a killer. He was an asshole before he was turned. He’s abusive and manipulative.
If you’re going to fall for a Salvatore, Stephan is the way to go. Sure he enables his brother to be the bastard that he is and yeah he lies, manipulates and stalks his girlfriend but………...um.......well….at least he’s all stoic and convincing with puppy dog eyes like Bill Compton. That makes all the difference.
*nods sagely*
“But Damon’s doing all this evil for Katherine’s love so that makes it okay. It’s soooo romantic. We love menz who do evil things as long as it’s being done in the name of love.”
That’s the same argument that gets made for Eric Northman, Scott Pilgrim, Edward Cullen, and Spike. In fact, there are legions of fangirls who are still defending the infamous bathroom scene in season 6 where Spike attacked Buffy because he was doing it for love.
SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?!!!! HAVE YOU LOST YO GAWD DAMN MIND?!!!!!!
And you know if this had been a man of color, specifically a black man stalking a white girl like this, that crap wouldn’t even play.
And for all the flack men catch for being shallow when it comes to sex/relationships, you all are just as bad. We do what we do because we're sex addicts or whipped with unresolved mommy issues. Usually though we’re operating out of lust and thinking with the head below the waist. Shallow? Yes Wrong? Probably, but at the very least logical. What’s your excuse? See that's how ya'll get tricked. You see what you want, despite what's right in your face and then when reality pimp slaps you then you scratching your head wondering how this could've happened.
The Final Verdict on Vampire Diaries: Yes it’s a CW series that’s inundated with angsty teen drama and falls into the pretty white kids with problems trope but the show is entertaining and it has potential, much like a season one of Supernatural. It has interesting characters, a very strong backstory and mythos, an overarching mystery and a solid plot. I’ll keep watching.
But seriously ladies, try to have higher standards when it comes to your lusts and attractions to men. Stop fawning for bad boys who are hawt, wounded/broken and seem to be misunderstood by everyone except you. Okay?
It’s not that I’m turning my nose up and looking down on all of you, only…..that’s exactly what I’m doing.
*Shakes head and resumes downloading shirtless pics of Don Draper, Adam Wilson, Kevin Ford, Zach Young, and Bill Compton.*
I swear. Some peepul just have the absolute worst taste in men.
