So this is what hard work feels like
I'm really sick of this asthmatic roller coaster of drugs. Its not helping my considerable workload and the bouts of insomnia that it brings.
In other news, the tutoring job is great - had my first five one-on-one sessions today, and I have to admit that there is a real sense of accomplishment that goes along with such a thing. To have a job where I feel like I'm helping someone, direct-like. Also, the knowledge that after a week or two of this, I'll know my grammatical issues cold is a great boon. In the end, I need to remember to focus on the feeling of a job well done, however fleeting. Or, that the exhaustion currently in my bones is one of effort exerted, not a lackthereof.
Now for the musing part of the live journal - I realize that my feelings of exhaustion or tiredness have been associated in my head with failure for quite a while. Why? Not entirely sure, but I know where some of the feelings of tiredness come from. A treadmill of mental to-dos. Waking up with a constant running tab of tasks unfinished isn't helpful. As I'm learning more often, sometimes just ignoring it for a moment to reflect on a day's hard work can go a long way towards feeling refreshed... or, at the very least, like you can take a moment to put your head to pillow without guilt.