more cobwebs
not again.
im feeling rather distant from lj again.
ever since that episode which hasnt been
sorted out with those newly made female friends.
how depressing that just coz one doesnt talk to me, the others dont either.
What are we, in hugh school?
everything around me is starting to agitate me..
i dont know why6..
not really anyways..
think i can take a few cracks at it tho.
deadline is imminent,
got about a month.
and im shitting myaself.
havent shot anything!!!!!!
but hopefully it will be ok., shooting next week after hours.
things just arent going smoothly..
i still have the worse timing ever.
and i mean it.
everything is bad.
i cant even get to places on time without having to bust my chops.
i miss that premiere of GD brilliant. then i get all my footy kit after a manic race against the clock to get to chatham and back as quickly as possible. and thatsx 4hrs and 30 mins,..
i hate trains and public transport for that matter
but i rely on them all the time..
typical.
saw rma today.. waiting for the bus to see her bf of 1 yr and one month..
im not upset..
but instead of knocking on my windoe to get her attention..
i hid..
:S
i've been dying to see her for ages aswell.
its jsut last nite i started thinking of her...
and well all the bad things came up..
and the only thing i cant get out of my head kinda stuck around again..
its the only thing that can hurt me really.. no wonder it lingers..
it must love it..
i wont say what it is.. its probably the one thing i cant understand or let go of..
so i think i'll dwell on it more..
apart from that im over her.. i still had a mad love for her tho
hahaha
but it is only becoz i used to be so close to her.. that its just horrid not being close to her..
i need a few close female friends in my life i gathered.
and shes definately one of the ones i want..
on yea i got work experience with 125 magazine they are awesome..
really push forward with their magazine.
its like a portfolio of work.
im just doing office work..
finding out ho the magazine is run.
hwo the artists and images are chosen..
and if im lucky i can 2nd assist..
which doesnt sound like its any good.. but assisting a good photographer i always gonna be good experience.
and after work.. i will get the first scene of my film shot.. gonna shoot it loadsa different ways and see how it looks
the music score is gonna b awesome.. havent heard it but i've left it with someone i have alot of faith in.
i know he is a musical genius.
so thats good. also the whole location thing should probably come about soon..
coz i've left my fone number with someone thats head of kent film locations or somthing..
altho i dont want her foning when i start work..
that would be upsetting and very bad for me.
but if i impress them then i mite score a placement or something.. that would help loads.
and seeing as the work is in old st area its close to where i wanna move to.
but i need to contact a few more people about the summer to see if i can get my hands on a few more work experience placements.
i know it doesnt sound good jsut doing work experience but thats what everyone looks for.. and so i want to be seen as smoeone quite diverse.
its really weird today ive seen some amazingly goos looking girls..
doesnt really happen usually. and well being myself.. i didnt approach any of them..
but yea just i noticed that for some reason.
i d feel incredibly lonely again..
quite annoying..
quit annoying me!!
fuck sakes.
im totally confident in myself.. but not to the extent that i can keep going on without a gf
i need one, i'll pay...but the more i pay the more crap i can be..
hahaha...
thats a great offer huh?
im so sad..
:P
i think uni is depressing me really..
probably die to not having done any work.
or at least having nothing to show for the work i have done......
just need to get out of uni.. and then everything can be fun again.
life will be enjoyed finally!!!!
sorry about the essay form..
i havent wrote anything since my dissertation really.. you can tell i miss it.. mwahahahhaa
thanx for the vote of confidence aswell..
i feel i can face the world again..
thanx for listenng.
:P
im feeling rather distant from lj again.
ever since that episode which hasnt been
sorted out with those newly made female friends.
how depressing that just coz one doesnt talk to me, the others dont either.
What are we, in hugh school?
everything around me is starting to agitate me..
i dont know why6..
not really anyways..
think i can take a few cracks at it tho.
deadline is imminent,
got about a month.
and im shitting myaself.
havent shot anything!!!!!!
but hopefully it will be ok., shooting next week after hours.
things just arent going smoothly..
i still have the worse timing ever.
and i mean it.
everything is bad.
i cant even get to places on time without having to bust my chops.
i miss that premiere of GD brilliant. then i get all my footy kit after a manic race against the clock to get to chatham and back as quickly as possible. and thatsx 4hrs and 30 mins,..
i hate trains and public transport for that matter
but i rely on them all the time..
typical.
saw rma today.. waiting for the bus to see her bf of 1 yr and one month..
im not upset..
but instead of knocking on my windoe to get her attention..
i hid..
:S
i've been dying to see her for ages aswell.
its jsut last nite i started thinking of her...
and well all the bad things came up..
and the only thing i cant get out of my head kinda stuck around again..
its the only thing that can hurt me really.. no wonder it lingers..
it must love it..
i wont say what it is.. its probably the one thing i cant understand or let go of..
so i think i'll dwell on it more..
apart from that im over her.. i still had a mad love for her tho
hahaha
but it is only becoz i used to be so close to her.. that its just horrid not being close to her..
i need a few close female friends in my life i gathered.
and shes definately one of the ones i want..
on yea i got work experience with 125 magazine they are awesome..
really push forward with their magazine.
its like a portfolio of work.
im just doing office work..
finding out ho the magazine is run.
hwo the artists and images are chosen..
and if im lucky i can 2nd assist..
which doesnt sound like its any good.. but assisting a good photographer i always gonna be good experience.
and after work.. i will get the first scene of my film shot.. gonna shoot it loadsa different ways and see how it looks
the music score is gonna b awesome.. havent heard it but i've left it with someone i have alot of faith in.
i know he is a musical genius.
so thats good. also the whole location thing should probably come about soon..
coz i've left my fone number with someone thats head of kent film locations or somthing..
altho i dont want her foning when i start work..
that would be upsetting and very bad for me.
but if i impress them then i mite score a placement or something.. that would help loads.
and seeing as the work is in old st area its close to where i wanna move to.
but i need to contact a few more people about the summer to see if i can get my hands on a few more work experience placements.
i know it doesnt sound good jsut doing work experience but thats what everyone looks for.. and so i want to be seen as smoeone quite diverse.
its really weird today ive seen some amazingly goos looking girls..
doesnt really happen usually. and well being myself.. i didnt approach any of them..
but yea just i noticed that for some reason.
i d feel incredibly lonely again..
quite annoying..
quit annoying me!!
fuck sakes.
im totally confident in myself.. but not to the extent that i can keep going on without a gf
i need one, i'll pay...but the more i pay the more crap i can be..
hahaha...
thats a great offer huh?
im so sad..
:P
i think uni is depressing me really..
probably die to not having done any work.
or at least having nothing to show for the work i have done......
just need to get out of uni.. and then everything can be fun again.
life will be enjoyed finally!!!!
sorry about the essay form..
i havent wrote anything since my dissertation really.. you can tell i miss it.. mwahahahhaa
thanx for the vote of confidence aswell..
i feel i can face the world again..
thanx for listenng.
:P