[ thread ] where's the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds ?
Who: Yosuke Hanamura and Shijima.
Where: Shijima's residence.
When: After this post; so before Shimazu's.
Summary: Returning a favor.
Rating: PG-13.
Other: Shijima's hardcore, yo.
( Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? )
Where: Shijima's residence.
When: After this post; so before Shimazu's.
Summary: Returning a favor.
Rating: PG-13.
Other: Shijima's hardcore, yo.
( Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? )
"No worries," she said, stepping aside to Yosuke in. "Humans are allowed to let imagination run free, after all. No matter where it takes our thoughts."
As soon as she closed the door behind Yosuke, she started playing with the retractable blade in her hand, throwing it up in the air and catching it by the handle-- every time. She watched him like a cat would watch a small bird that was about to be its next meal. "You must have been very worried to come all the way here, alone, where I could very well dispose of you if I wished to. I have been thinking it, you know." Her visage was calm, collected, not even disturbed by what she was saying. Even if she were, she masked her emotions well.
Reply
"Damn right, I was worried." The strength behind his voice stopped as he stared at the blade in her hand, watching its movement in a nervous sort of manner. Uncertain if he was nervous because he thought that she was going to cut herself or if she was going to hurt him. Another closing of his eyes. She wouldn't do that, even if her sort of talk was a little on the nerve-wrecking order.
He decided to step away and find a comfortable place to sit instead. Standing and having this sort of discussion, it felt weird. More like they were staring each other down than having a reasonable discussion. Well, he certainly felt stared down at least. "Why are you even thinking shit like that? It isn't like you. Is it because of that cat that died the other day?"
Reply
Her eyes were on him, always watching, observing every little change in him. "There is no need for worry, I told you that already." She was firm about this. Stubborn. "Or are you afraid that I will turn into what you became a year ago?"
She sank back into the couch, stretching and finding a comfortable position to lie down on it. The blade was distracting and kept her attention for a bit as she turned it over and over and over. It took a while before she responded. "A cat, a grown man, a stranger on the street, does it matter? It was only death after death, and it makes you curious."
Shijima looks up at Yosuke. "What is it like to truly die?"
Reply
"Little bit, yeah." His shoulders gave a slight shrug as he finally answered her question. He jerked his head back, ceased looking at the ground upon her question about what it was like to die. "I ..." Closed his eyes as he could only remember what it was like to die during the Battle Royale. That was the only one that he could remember. He rubbed his face, dragged the heels of his hands against his face. It shouldn't be difficult to talk about, because he was back. And it was better than a question about if she was losing hope in the city.
"It's not fun." Try to be a little more descriptive. "The pain that you feel if it is particularly violent ... it really is almost unimaginable. Like every nerve is screaming to let it end. Eventually, it starts to end. Slowly. And the corners of what you're seeing starts to go black instead of red." His smile was weak, like he was making a bad joke. "Any sort of panic that you feel can't properly be expressed. Then, it's over." Shoulders rose and fell in defeat.
Maybe if she knew, she'd stop thinking those scary thoughts.
Reply
"I remember what it was like, after the Battle Royale," Shijima said a beat after Yosuke had talked. She was lying on her back now, on the couch, playing with the knife. "It was different for me. In the end, every bit of me, every fiber of my existence was happy." She got up from the couch and patted down her clothes to make them look neat and ran her fingers through her hair. Then she began walking towards Yosuke. "Do you know what the last thing I thought about, back then?" She fell silent for a moment, the only noise in the room was her bare feet taking steps toward him.
"Ah, finally, I can rest."
Shijima tilted her head to the side. She was standing in front of Yosuke, now. "That's what I thought. It hurt, yes, but I felt glad for it. I never found out why. Sometimes, it bothers me. Sometimes, it doesn't." Her gaze was steady on him. She was calm. She felt calm, at least. With him seated down, this was probably the only time she could, literally, look down on him.
Reply
His shoulders remained slumped, looking more like a beaten dog. He had never asked her about Battle Royale even though he kept thinking about it. Honestly, it seemed like she was just so much stronger and had moved past it, but was it just easier to think that way? Suddenly, his chest felt a little tight as he finally looked back at her. Maybe, it was just the stress of everything finally building up and hitting its maximum allowance. Like with him. "I don't really know either. Maybe, maybe, it was because being there and everything that happened was just ... it was just so difficult. Better to die than have to be the only survivor."
Rather think in those terms rather than think that she always thought in this manner; always thought that she would like to rest. "Still, I think that's almost a healthier way of viewing death than fear. Being afraid of it, being that scared, it just ... complicates things in the end. Right?" If he hadn't run from school, would he have seemingly fallen to his death because of the A&O agent after him? If he had decided instead to just accept it -- would his death have been nicer? Quieter? His head gave a violent shake; not quite certain where his thoughts were going but not sure that he liked them either.
"Shijima, I think that you're really amazing." He'd said this many times before, hadn't he? Yosuke couldn't remember, but if he hadn't, he was saying it now. "That even in that time, you weren't afraid, but happy. Able to find joy in ... anything even something like that is ... pretty amazing to me."
Reply
And then she heard those words.
She wanted to tell him that she wasn't amazing. That he did not know a single thing about her. That he was blind to the truth, lying to himself. Lying to her. But she couldn't. She wanted to lash out at him with the knife, wanted to see him bleed to death, but there was just something about his words that calmed her. Her thoughts, too. Shijima closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"I'm not amazing, Yosuke," she said, retracting the blade into the case. There was a smile on her lips. "Heroes are amazing, and I'm not the hero. You are."
Reply
"Well, to me, you're my hero." Yosuke started to laugh in a light manner, even if what he said was true, was sincere. He really felt even more embarrassed to say that aloud. "I guess that means my masculinity points have once more lowered. But I think that it's fine." She continued to find things in this city to be happy about, even about death. He was probably afraid back at the time when he died by the hands of the Agent. Nothing he did was ever out of bravery, was it? It was because he forced himself into it.
"You're the best kind of hero. You're the one who knows when to run away and when to show up to save the day." He winked, as he continued as though he had not tired to break up the praise with a joke against his own person. "I think I'm more of your sidekick."
Reply
Leave a comment