[ thread ]

[waitingfora]

Who: Yosuke Hanamura and Shikamaru Nara.
Where: Terra ; Hanamura apartment ; roof.
When: Afternoon.
Summary: Let's bond.
Rating: PG-13. Yosuke swears. :<
Other: Totally not gay.

Comments

[waitingfora]

Upon seeing his friend's face, Yosuke opened his mouth to say something before realizing that it would be stupid to ask if Shika had been crying, or ask if he wanted to talk about it. He returned to scratching the back of his head and wished that he was smarter. It seemed a little tactless to just outright ask something like that, but he felt like someone had to ask these difficult sort of questions. Everyone seemed to have closed themselves off in the apartment. The little family that they made wasn't quite coming apart as it did feel like it was drifting away. He searched the ground for a few seconds, thinking about what he could say. Like the words would appear on the roof.

"Yeah." He looked up at the sky instead, tipping his head back so far that it seemed like he would fall over first. It was easier to stick to these topics even if they weren't the easiest to talk about. "I don't like the idea of not being around here. Even though things have more or less gone to hell, I'm happy." His head gave a slight cant; even Yosuke was surprised by that statement. He thought he might have been saying it to cheer up Shika, but he really meant it. The times that he had with everyone was a lot of fun -- when something traumatic wasn't going on. Sometimes it was even easy to forget about everything and think that they were ordinary teenagers. His happiness was probably sad and not 'real' as it would be if he lived a little more normal, but it was fine by him.

"You're happy here too, aren't you, partner?" Yosuke allowed himself to smile, remembering what he had been told on the Network about being positive. He wanted to impart some good cheer to Shika as well. The two needed to be smiles and positivity so that Nill wouldn't let herself get down. Really, a home was supposed to be a safe haven. So they should try to make it feel safe and happy like it should, right?

[lazyish]

Was he happy? No, of course he wasn't. Not right now, not after what had been done to him, not after all he'd learned and seen and felt. His life had never been perfect but even two deaths hadn't made his entire world fall apart the way it was now. He couldn't look around at their home without thinking of that place called Konoha, which was destroyed now and needed his help to be rebuilt. His brother's face, the face of his enemy, someone who had tried to kill him. And his own face... one he couldn't even convince himself was real anymore. The real Shikamaru had died. So then, what was he? An empty nothing. An echo of someone else.

He was taking too long to reply. That made the answer apparent. He lowered his eyes, guilty for not being able to give Yosuke the cheerful answer he was expecting. Going or staying didn't seem like a choice. Torture and rape and death... how could he possibly want to stay?

"I can't handle it," he murmured shamefully. "I can't go on living here, not for much longer." He couldn't smile and bounce back the way Yosuke could. He was always weak. But did that mean he'd give up? His bloodshot eyes gazed at his friend. He continued, "But I won't leave you. You're my only reason. Whatever happens, I won't run away and leave you behind."

[waitingfora]

"Wait a second. That's not right right!" He turned so that he completely faced Shika, seated on his legs now. His arm gave the sweeping motion to wipe away what was just said. If his friend wasn't happy here, maybe he shouldn't stay. If there was a way to go back to where he was supposed to be -- if that place really existed -- then he should go. He shouldn't stay in a place that he couldn't take because of him. And he shouldn't just be saying that to himself.

"Listen, Shika, I don't ... I don't want you to stay here because of me. I don't think Nill or anyone would want you to do the same." His shoulders dropped a little. Yosuke wasn't sure if he would be able to handle everything on his own; not particularly bright and ignored certain things that he probably should pay more attention than what he gave. "It's not like I'm telling you that I want you to go, but if you have to go then go."

He scratched the back of his head, yet again. His hair was starting to get messed up with how much he had been messing with it in the short amount of time, but he tried to ignore that as well. "I mean, we haven't found a way to get back to where we have to be, but it seems like ... if you do have the chance, if you figure it out, then you should go where you need to be."

Yosuke paused to sigh, thinking back on those Zeroes. "Those guys seemed really serious and seemed like they were fighting some big thing. They'd really need you." Was he saying that everyone else here didn't need Shika? His head gave a slight shake, biting the bottom of his lip. "I'm saying that it's okay to abandon me, if it means that you'll go somewhere where you'll be happy."

[lazyish]

What Yosuke said was right, of course. It would be the most stupid and selfish act in the world, for him to abandon his duty and stay behind for the friend he'd made while under the spell of some twisted illusionist. This world wasn't real. Their life together wasn't real. And so to turn his back on the real people who needed him would be utterly ridiculous.

Shikamaru couldn't find himself caring. Maybe the illusion's power was just that great. Part of him refused to accept that this friendship could be thrown away easily. He couldn't remember those people who were depending on him. They were just stories someone had told him, and glimpses from dreams. But Yosuke was sitting right beside him, right at this moment. Before Shikamaru even realized, he was reaching over to confirm this. His hand came to rest on Yosuke's shoulder. Solid.

"Thanks, Yosuke," he said. "But I'm the one who needs you."

[waitingfora]

His head instantly lowered when Shika put his hand on his shoulder. It was like an off-switch for the positivity that he was feeling, because he was afraid of the idea losing everyone. If he returned to his world, if it was like what Teddie had said, everyone was already finished. His gaze shifted slightly to the side, staring at where his shadow was cast. Would it be possible? Pressing his lips together, he thought he should make this sort of promise with Shimazu but he thought it might be all right to do so with Shika. They were partners and it seemed like his friend needed help, after all.

"If a pathway to everyone's world opens up, can I come with you?" Yosuke wasn't sure if he would make a good ninja or if it would be a good idea for someone from another world to even go to someone else's world, but it'd just be too sad to end their friendship if they somehow found a way back. "I dunno if I'd be very good at it, mind. But, yeah..." He trailed off, uncertain about what he would add. It probably would have been best to end with just his question, but he felt like he should say more.

[lazyish]

Shikamaru looked at the sky again. The sky was fake. It was a fact he had known long before all of this. Above them floated Elysium, and Terra's clouds and sunshine and the snow that was now beginning to drift down lazily... all an illusion. Science. If the rest of the world was as fake as the sky, then waiting just beyond it could be the doors to their real worlds, the way Elysium was beyond the sky. If it was that simple... if it was a matter of getting a key, finding the right passageway, opening the right door...

His fingers curled, squeezing Yosuke's shoulder in reassurance. "It's too early for you to decide something like that," he answered. His dark eyes returned to his friend's. "But if you want to, when the time comes... I wouldn't say no." Konoha sounded dangerous, but no more dangerous than NeoGenesis. And Shikamaru was determined that even if Yosuke's powers weren't strong enough, or if they disappeared altogether, he would protect his friend regardless. They just had to stay together.

[waitingfora]

"Maybe Nill can come with us, too." Yosuke realized that he was talking like it was some vacation rather than the idea that everyone could go home. He didn't know who she was supposed to "belong" to in her world. Who was supposed to protect her. But Shika and he decided that she was theirs to look after. He wouldn't abandon her either. "We'll all just promise to be together."

The hand on his shoulder gave him the resolve to say such ridiculous things. He laughed softly to himself, agreeing that it was a little out there to say. Given how the city was, how uncertain their worlds and if they could return was. "It's a silly thing to promise, I guess, but I don't like the idea of things just ending." Yosuke didn't like the idea that if he returned; he might not remember anyone. He might not even know that he was here. Then what? It was like it never even happened.

"That's a little scary of a thought, partner." He wondered if Shika worried about the same thing. Here he had come to take away some of his worries, and he felt like he added onto them just a little. "I guess I'll change the subject..."

[lazyish]

Shikamaru smiled ruefully. Of course it was foolish optimism on their part, the possibility that they'd even find an escape. That such an escape might even exist. It was far more likely, and more logical to assume, that the world they'd always believed was real was, in fact, real. That all the strange phenomena they'd witnessed had some other explanation, something much less far-fetched. It could very well be that this hell was their only home.

But if that was the case, they had nothing to worry about. They'd face that together.

He let go of Yosuke, sheepishly tucking a stray lock of hair behind his ear. "I, um," he mumbled. "Sorry for getting so serious. Or, well... being serious all this time. It's probably been rough for you to have to deal with me like this lately."

[waitingfora]

Now would probably be a good time for Yosuke to agree that it had indeed been very hard for him as a means to getting Shika to laugh. He squinted for a few seconds as he thought that now probably wasn't the time for such. When did he get so thoughtful about what he said. Sure, he still occasionally spouted off whatever he wanted without thinking, but he was trying to be a little more considerate as of late. Uncertain if it started when he murdered Ninjin and all the events that transpired afterward or Shika came in injured. He supposed that he felt that it was not a particularly bad trait to acquire. "It's all right. I don't mind. I mean, you're always been here to support me and that's what I want to do, too, when I can."

He let out a soft sigh before tipping backwards so that he could stare at the sky. "I like to think that those Zeroes returned to where they were supposed to go." Here he said that he wanted to talk about something else, but he wanted to impart this bit of information that he had been thinking of. Yosuke didn't like the idea that once someone was dead that was it. In NeoGenesis, it occasionally wasn't the end. "That's what I like to believe that somehow they were able to go back... not that their journeys ended here..." Ah, he was being depressing again. That wasn't right.

"But we still have to make sure that they're avenged. No one else can do it, right?" His gaze at the sky became a little more focused, seeing something that wasn't quite there. Did it mean that he might have to fight his brother in order to ensure that proper justice was brought to the Zeroes? Maybe. He did sort of forgive Ryou -- had said as much. It was because he couldn't hate his brother; the idea of hating him felt wrong the more that he thought about it. "Yeah, no matter the consequences, those A&O bastards can't get away with anything that they like."

He did realize that he was talking a bit in circles. If the Zeroes went home, then there was probably no reason to seek vengeance. However, the way that it happened wasn't right.

[lazyish]

Shikamaru laid his chin on his knees, turning his gaze down instead of up. He couldn't see how the Zeroes had possibly returned to their homes, unless death was the gateway they were looking for. If so, Shikamaru hadn't been allowed to pass through it when he was murdered, and he couldn't remember even a glimpse of it. Still, all of that just seemed like a far-fetched wish, like believing in heaven or some other fairy tale afterlife. What his own eyes had witnessed were just bloody lifeless corpses left to rot in the cold night.

Those eyes drifted shut against the image, his lips pressing into a tight frown. Corners trembled as he threatened to start crying again, but a moment later the feeling had passed. He took a breath. "Of course we'll avenge them," Shikamaru uttered darkly. "We can't rest until we make the Omega pay. I'll burn this city to the ground if I have to. I'll find a way." It was all he could think about, all he had been thinking about since December. His hatred was like a sickness growing black inside of him and the only way he felt he could possibly cure it was to annihilate their enemies once and for all.

[waitingfora]

"I'm all right with that." Yosuke wondered if Shika thought that he might have felt burning the city to the ground figuratively or not would have been where he said that was enough. He would always say that he wasn't very bright, but his friend was. Whatever Shika decided to do then Yosuke would be sure to do his best to make sure that those plans go through. He rocked himself forward so that he could sit back up. That really was the only way to make sure that the city really was safe.

"Those assholes have gotten away with far too much and now it's time to make sure that they don't keep thinking they can get away with whatever they like." He realized that they would probably need more help than two teenagers against an entire organization like A&O, but it was nice to start thinking and planning these sort of things. It felt like he would go crazy if he wasn't doing something. If everything was just left alone, what would happen? Would everyone just give up and start accepting this was the fate and not do anything about it?

"We'll talk about this more later, but I'm seriously with you. Jiraiya is, too." He turned his once empty hand over to stare at the card which now resided in it. It really did feel like his Persona was agreeing that this was what they should be doing. "No more running anymore. Whatever happens, we're going to face it head on." Difficult to say that when he was still hiding from so much himself, but it was all right. Shika knew what they had to do and all he had to do was do his part.

"No problem."