[THREAD] nobody tells you the REASON, no matter how you try

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Who: Yaha [ utterlydevoted ] & Nagi [ striginae ]
Where: Police HQ, TERRA
When: Early evening
Summary: Can you tell me anything about me?
Rating: PG-13

Comments

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To be completely honest, Nagi had been slightly surprised to be gestured towards the office so quickly. The more pragmatic side of him had expected to be turned away at least once on accounts of the man being busy -- so it was a (pleasant?) surprise when an officer gently prodded him towards the office, letting the door click close behind him. And Nagi stood nervously, one hand still tugging at the folds of his scarf, twisting the fabric in his fingers out of unease. (He didn't remember why, but he felt inherently threatened by this man.)

"Um -- I'd like to apologize for my behavior back at the party, first." Giving a small bow, he gave a weak smile, trying to quell his prickling nerves and keep himself calm. A small pause, before he went on, nodding earnestly. As much as he felt wary of the other (and as much as something told him that this could only end in tragedy), he still wanted very much to find out as much as possible of his lost memories. "But ah. This may sound odd, but I'm afraid I have some -- amnesia. I don't remember many things, and I was wondering if you could possibly tell me what you know of me?" The fabric of his scarf rustled quietly at he tugged at its folds. "I'm sorry to take your time with such a strange question, but it's some what important for me."

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It was -- odd. This man's compliments. And they made his nerves bristle, made him look up with eyes slightly widened -- made the constant nagging feeling at the back of his mind even worse. (I shouldn't be here, I should leave, I shouldn't be trying to get anything out of this man -- should I? I don't know, I can't remember -- would I be able to defend myself, if worst comes to worst? But, no, he's a police officer, the chief, he won't do anything, would he?) Yaha's attempts to look more appealing were met only with a sort of clueless ignorance -- Nagi was a bit too preoccupied with the matter at hand (and his programmed, forced loyalty towards Genkaku) to really pay attention to these attempts to catch his attention.

"Specific?" He looked troubled for a moment, the hand that had been tugging at his scarf lowered and fingers entwined, instead. "Actually, I -- remember next to nothing. You mentioned injuries, before at the party, so I presume something significant happened, but I have no recollection of anything during this past while. Including anything that you may have been involved in, or whatever incident you are referring to. I'd -- like to know what happened. Anything would be of help." Hands clasped together, he gave a small nod. (Wondering, silently, if perhaps this had been a bad idea.)

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'Not fair'? 'No fun'? 'Not all true'? -- when Yaha first spoke aloud, Nagi only gave a slight tilt of the head, looking confused, questioning. Was Yaha planning on lying to him? -- would he? This man was the Chief of Police, and was obliged to be truthful, wasn't he? And Nagi started, when the other leaned even closer, taking a hesitant half-step back with limbs tensed, breathing hitching in his throat for a moment.

But still he listened, almost frozen, trying to make some sense of this new information. He'd been missing, then. This, he knew vaguely of, from piecing together what Yosuke had said and what he'd heard of from the school -- that he'd left abruptly -- but it explained nothing of why he'd departed from his life so suddenly. And -- injuries. Again, he knew that he'd been in an Abyss clinic at least for some amount of time -- so his condition must have been bad. But why Abyss? Why not Terra? Had something kept him away from Terra? -- so caught up in his confusion, he missed the brush of fingers over his chest, instead trapped in a maelstrom of thoughts. -- he'd thought that asking this man would help, but there were no definitive answers, just more questions.

It was only when the arms wrapped around his neck that he snapped out of his thoughts, looking almost alarmed at the sudden proximity between the two. "I couldn't go back?" He repeated blankly, somewhat more concerned with how close the other was -- it sent a sharp chill down his back, and he craned his head back, weakly trying to maintain some distance between them. "-- your cousin?" Yet another person involved in this mess? Gingerly pressing away at Yaha's shoulder with his hands, he swallowed hard, his breathing ever so slightly harsher by now, his pulse quickening. (Why did he feel so cornered and uneasy?)

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This was another dead end, then. Nagi couldn't help but look slightly downfallen at that, his glance dropping to the side, brows furrowed. And it only added another question -- why had he been so secretive? The fact that he'd gone missing, of course, had suggested something dire in the first place. But to refuse help from police? Was it something to do with his past with the laboratory? But even that was long since past, and he should have been able to turn to the police, at least, for some help. Unless -- there was some reason for him to hide from the police? Had he committed a crime? Had he made an enemy in the police? Thoughts swirling, he bit his lip, looking torn.

-- and started, when fingers brushed at his hair. Once again, the other was close, too close, far too close, and Nagi quickly backed away a half step, one hand clutching at the hem of his scarf, clutching at a handful of the fabric of his shirt. (Why was he feeling so irrationally scared? This had happened before. Not exactly, but something similar -- he'd been cornered and backed into a wall before, by this man. -- he had to get out.)

He was frozen, though, and Nagi spoke softly, as if scared that raising his voice would put him in danger. "Ah -- I didn't know -- you were related." A hand groped blindly, and it was then that Nagi realized that he was almost standing with his back to the wall -- a hard bubble of air rose in his chest, but he forced himself to swallow it, letting out a shallow breath, smiling weakly. "But -- thank you. For the information. It should be helpful."

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"Ah, no, it -- really should be of some use. Almost anything is helpful when you don't have much to start with." It was a good thing that his voice was entirely artificial, or else it might have cracked and stuttered with the way his breath came uneasily, his shoulders tensed. His thoughts were racing, trying to evaluate this situation, trying to think of what to do, what to say. Should he leave? Would that put him in a suspicious position? Was there a reason to leave in the first place?

The answer to that last question, at least, was very much leaning towards a 'yes.' Nagi backed away a half-step further when the hands pressed against his chest again -- and he felt his nerves bristle at the feel of his shoulder blades brushing against the wall behind him. "That -- wasn't my intention. I apologize if it came across that way?" It came out as a question, his hesitant words marred by a soft exhale, and when Yaha pressed even closer, he could help but flinch, hands shooting up to press weakly against Yaha's upper arms, making some small attempt to widen the distance between them and assuage and irrational nerves that ran rampant through his system.

"Can you -- please leave a little room?" It was an awkwardly worded question that he let slip, his voice soft, gaze averted. (He felt oddly close to an edge. Felt like in a similar situation in the past, he'd lashed out badly -- and might do so again, without hesitation, if pressed too far.) "I -- don't think that I've changed much?" Another one of those forced laughs. "Though I suppose I can't be sure."

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"That's not --" His voice died in his throat after those weak words, though. What was he supposed to say here? Still unable to look the other in the fast, he spoke in a breathless rush, feeling a sudden sharp pain through his temples. "There's nothing -- here, he's just -- " My owner? My master? The person who owns me? There was no proper way to say it without exacerbating the situation, and so he only shook his head, trying to back away further but unable to, with Yaha trapping him against the wall like this.

Behind him, his hands pressed against the cold wall, unconsciously searching for some sort of easy escape, but finding none. And Nagi stiffened, freezing where he stood when fingers brushed against his cheek, forcing him to meet the faintly glowing gaze. (Again, the painful sense of deja vu. This had happened before. He was almost certain by now, that Yaha had trapped him like this in the past, had tried to capture him just like this. And judging by what Yaha was saying -- he'd defended himself, back then. Would it be a bad idea to do the same here?)

"-- please stop this?" His breath came out in a soft exhale, his features etched with confusion, hesitation, something close to pain, as the piercing headache racing through his temples grew worse. "I'm -- not sure what you're speaking of. I don't remember?" He was speaking almost unconsciously now, head bowed, gaze directed at the floor. "But please don't -- go any further."

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He was hardly listening to Yaha's words any more, too caught up in the swirling stream of thoughts that left him dizzied, the searing pain in his temples slowly escalating until he felt like his head would explode. Still tensed and uneasy, still not daring to look into Yaha's gaze lest it shatter something inside him, he let out a sharp exhale. Feeling for a moment like the best solution to this predicament would only be bloodshed. It would be easy, wouldn't it? Just let loose a single sphere of blood in close proximity to the other's head, then watch the ensuing splatters of blood, the rain of viscera. -- Unknown to him, the programmed corruption of his mind was starting to dig deeper, and he came terribly, terribly close to snapping. Hands pressed against the back walls, nails dragging hard against its surface.

It was a terribly close call. Yaha might not have known it, but Nagi was on the verge of simply breaking his wrists (an unconscious replay of past events) when the hands finally dropped away from his face. And Nagi slumped against the wall, his breathing hoarse and his vision just barely focused. 'Remain quiet'? 'Self control'? It wasn't difficult to guess at what Yaha was talking about, that only made him feel even sicker -- he had to get out, as soon as possible, immediately.

His bleary gaze had instantly turned towards the door, and he was just about to mumble some weak reason and excuse himself when once again, Yaha's words stopped him where he stood. Eyes wide and shoulders tensed with each shallow breath, he spoke weakly, as if having difficult believing what the other was saying. "-- privately?" The words were all too transparent, and Nagi craned his head away, features etched with discomfort. -- and he hated to have to stand this man a moment longer, especially not somewhere away from public. But it must have been important information, if a person so seemingly willing to walk dangerous territory in public wanted to go somewhere private. A hard swallow, and he remained against the wall, unsure of what to do. "Can't we speak here? I would assume that your office would provide enough privacy."

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Throughout Yaha's hemming and hawing and hesitating, Nagi remained standing uneasy, still backed against the wall, highly unwilling to draw any closer to the other out of the instinctive fear that things would end badly the moment he dares to approach. But still, it was agonizing to watch Yaha sit there refusing to answer, instead only going on about the sad lack of potential for something 'more meaningful.' Under normal circumstances, Nagi might have felt some trace of sympathy for this attitude -- perhaps the other had been jilted badly -- but in his current mental state, he had absolutely no empathy for such an attitude, wishing only for an answer so he could get out of the place as soon as possible. (Simply being there made his skin crawl, his nerves run high -- he knew, he knew, that through indirect association that the run-in he'd had with Yaha in the past led to something only darker, only worse.)

And he started, eyes widening, when Yaha began talking about his abilities -- somehow or the other, this man knew about his Branch of Sin. Nagi immediately knew that the situation must have been horridly dire, if he'd used that ability in public, before someone who wasn't associated with the laboratories -- using the Branch of Sin was something he'd restricted himself in, unleashing it only in private (or before people who would soon be dead and unable to bear witness, in his current mental state). And so, if he'd revealed it before a police man, then something even more pressing than the fear of rediscovery by the laboratories must have been chasing him -- but what?

"You -- you know about it?" He could only say it weakly, unsure of what more to say. How much did Yaha know? Would it be the smartest move to simply dispose of the man here and now? "How do you know about the Branch of Sin?"