[thread; closed]
Who: Yosuke Hanamura and [ everyone here].
Where: Hanamura residence to Terra streets.
When: Early evening to past curfew.
Summary: The shadow awakens.
Rating: R. Violence and language.
Other: End of the insanity.
( The true me. )
Where: Hanamura residence to Terra streets.
When: Early evening to past curfew.
Summary: The shadow awakens.
Rating: R. Violence and language.
Other: End of the insanity.
( The true me. )
"But you're worried about me being hurt, huh?" His head tilted to the side. "That's such bullshit." The blade that had been concealed in his right hand -- hidden in the sleeve of his jacket -- came out to stab at the air by Nill's face, to drive her close to the wall of the alley. "You apologized before for not being at the hospital, right? He said you shouldn't have been sorry, but that's a lie. He wanted more people there so that he could feel sorry for himself. So that people would pity him."
"I think it's worse that you pitied him. That's not real friendship, you know." The tone and manner in which he was speaking had already lost all semblance of calm; it came out in fast, angry words -- just barely concealing the hate that he had. But it wasn't really for Nill. It was for that other part of him, the part that refused to admit that he existed. The part that did such a good job at hiding him that no one really understood what he was or that he was someone to be afraid of, hated. "That's right. He just wanted to be the hero. Wanted to protect you."
The blade pointed at her face once more. "That's not good, is it? Lying like that so that you'll like him." The hand came to rest on his forehead as he started to laugh. It came out soft at first before it grew into the kind of laugh where one could not even get enough air to make sound. "Man, I keep forgetting to ask my questions. I just talk so much because I haven't been able to." A teasing smile. "So, Nill, do you think you should like someone like that? Someone who was just manipulating your emotions so that you'd like him?"
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Nill didn’t have time to think of the fact that ‘bullshit’ was a word she remembered her father using once upon a time when the knife came out of nowhere, almost at her face. The girl might have let out a little startled yelp if she could have, but seeing as she could not, Nill simply backed against the wall, eyes suddenly wide; and still, still, she looked worried, if not a little bit scared. Not for herself of course, but still scared. She knew that she had done something bad by not visiting Yosuke when he had been hurt, even if she hadn’t known that he was hurt, and she definitely should have thought something was wrong, because maybe her senpai really did like to have her around, but Yosuke wasn’t making any sense right now at all, and Nill was so very, very confused.
Not real friendship? What did he mean? Were they not really friends? But then... why would he want to protect her? (and why was Yosuke talking like he wasn’t Yosuke?) The girl shrunk back, her wings folding against her back in an old, unconscious habit of trying to make herself seem smaller, big blue eyes staring up at the person that had been so kind to her before as he pointed the knife directly at her face. She didn’t understand, not at all. Yosuke had lied to her, manipulated her? (she knew that word; it meant that he’d been using her. Or, her emotions. But what did that mean? How could you use emotions?) It didn’t sound like him at all.
...was Yosuke mad at her?
Briefly, the blond-haired child shifted her gaze away from Yosuke and to the blade in front of her, before returning her gaze once more to her upset friend. Even if he was mad at her-even if he was really, really upset-Yosuke was still Yosuke. Nill lifted both of her hands infront of her and held them before her chest, a few inches away from herself, as though she might try to reach out again. She didn’t confirm or deny his statement, nor could she think of... much of anything to do in terms of an answer. She barely understood what he was even talking about.
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"It doesn't matter if I am the one here now, does it? People are just going to think that I'm Yosuke." The way that he said the name was like a curse -- actually raising his hand so that he could stab the brick around Nill's head, almost catching her wing as he went around her form. "You can't even answer me with a simple head shake if you think I'm real, can you?"
"I have to ask everyone, you see." The hand with the knife gestured around as though there was an audience. "I don't want to -- I think it would be easier to just get rid of you all, but ..." His voice shifted slightly to sound broken, sad. "I can't. You see, Yosuke couldn't stand the thought of being all alone. Of being hated." Leaning down, he rested his head on top of Nill's. "But I don't care what he thinks anymore."
Quite a talkative person that he seemed to become, but it was fun to talk like this. He kept reiterating this fact, but it was. It was so rare to be able to speak his mind like this. His mind that was like Yosuke's -- Yosuke who became just a little broken after what happened because of that psycho, but trying to be sane and put together for everyone else. "It's such shit, Nill. It's really unfair." Didn't care now if he was finishing his thoughts aloud, because the mute girl wasn't being helpful anyway.
"Just shake or nod your head -- do you believe I'm Yosuke?" It didn't matter what the answer was. The shadow already decided on what he was going to do, but he'd hate for her to think she couldn't get out of this. That wouldn't be fair, would it? Everyone had to be fair to one another, didn't they? If it hadn't been for Anatoly, he'd be in the hospital now. Just one of those brief moments of luck. That's all it was. It wasn't because it was fair that he should be able to move normally. No. It was because Yosuke smiled nice and tricked someone else in fending off that loneliness for just a little longer.
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Despite her best efforts, though, she did jump a little when the knife came crashing into the wall beside her head, and she could feel it when it had rushed, far to close for any sort of comfort to remain, past her wing. He wanted to know if he was real? Or if Nill thought he was real? What a strange thing to ask, she thought, but what wasn’t strange about any of this? Of course he was real. Wasn’t he? There were a lot of things that Nill didn’t understand, a lot of words and phrases and things that confused her so absolutely that she didn’t know what to do, but Yosuke was definitely ‘real’. Even if he was acting... different.
Quite possibly the strangest thing that her senpai had done all day was lean his head on top of hers and say that Yosuke-he-didn’t want to be alone, and that was one of the things that Nill really didn’t understand, but how could she? Nill, who was happy with the company of her mechanic ‘brother’ that preferred the fact that she couldn’t speak, could never comprehend the thought that Yosuke, for all the friends that he seemed to have, was afraid of being alone. (and why would anyone hate him?) For a second, she thought of grabbing his shirt, just an attempt at comforting the person before her because she had no words to do so, but decided against it. It would probably just make him madder, and that wouldn’t do either of them any good.
Not knowing that her answer would make a difference in the fate that her senpai had already decided for her-or, for that matter, that he even had a fate decided for her, or that he was trying to make it seem like she had a way to get out of the situation, even though the girl never really caught on to when she was in danger, though she was vaguely aware of it for once-Nill prepared herself for the next reaction she would receive and, slowly, nodded her head.
The person before her was Yosuke, and of course, he was real. What other answer made sense?
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For a moment, it seemed like he had calmed down. His breathing was slowing and his arm that held the knife was limp at his side. This image lasted for just a few seconds longer before it was tossed in the air -- caught in the small distance by his left hand, that pulled away from his face almost in reflex to catch it. "Neat, huh?" He smiled at her, about to say that it was all a joke, before the blade came up to stab in and through her wing. Held it in place for a few seconds, just to see what it would feel like, to actually be the person really hurting "a friend" rather than using his ability to do it.
As a child, Yosuke never tore the wings off any bug, never shot down a bird, but the shadow could imagine that this is what it felt like. Like pinning an animal down as he drew his hand away, feeling the blood from the injury rush out. He left the blade in her wing, flicking the handle with his index finger. "I'm not him." The smile was still friendly and kind, even though his eyes read murder at her incorrect answer. "Got it?" He expected her to nod at this, but then decided that he didn't care what her response was.
"You better run." A warning with no amusement laced in it as he started to cut into his left arm, again. Without the knife, he had to use his fingernails, tearing at the cut that he already made. He had enough blood from his previous injury back at his house, but he was starting to not be able to stand the body he was in. It was his. It was supposed to be his, but that fake was still ruining everything. No one understood this. The frustration was taken out on his arm, wanting to get rid of him, but not sure how. The blood formed into a humanoid body just for a second before lashing out after Nill -- striking at her back to throw her forward faster, more like swinging a hammer into her side so that she'd finally understand what he was saying.
But, honestly, it was starting to seem even to the shadow that no one would be able to give him the responses that he wanted.
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Nill blinked. Once. Twice. Was he not mad at her this time? Tilting her head to the side, she looked up at her senpai, almost hopeful until he threw the blade up into the air and caught it with the hand that had previously been against his face, and she had to admit, it was kind of cool-until she felt cold steel, against the awkward flesh covered with white feathers, and then through, snapping through thing and delicate bones as it pierced its way through the wing and hit the wall behind her. ’I’m not him.’
And at first, the pain didn’t hit her. She simply stared, eyes wide with disbelief, up at the person that had always been kind to her, one of the people she really and truly liked very much, and one of... well. Yosuke was the only one that she ever really got to spend time with, aside from her brother. (Nill had thought about it once, the terms that the girls in her classes used sometimes, and thought once that maybe Yosuke was her best friend.)
’why?’
She could feel blood dripping down from her wing and turned her head momentarily, watching the white of her feathers turn a sickly crimson. She didn’t nod in confirmation to his statement, whether or not she understand, just looked back up at him. Her wing was trembling now, struggling not to fold itself in against her back because that would just make it hurt more, and her hands shook ever so slightly too. Still, she didn’t run, even though she was scared now, even though she didn’t want to be scared, and oh, Yosuke hated her, Yosuke really hated her, and she didn’t know how to apologize.
She didn’t get much opportunity to try and stop her senpai from harming himself further before something lashed out at her, and without much effort knocked her out of the alley and into the street, the sledgehammer effect tearing a quiet but sickly ‘crack’ sound from her ribs. (Probably just a fracture. Right?) Nill would have cried out that time if she could have, because it hurt, it really hurt. It hurt to try and sit up again, too, but she at least managed that; the impact had pushed the knife further through her wing, more blood oozing from the wound and onto the ground. She tasted copper.
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It took only a few moments to switch off the radio, snatch up his jacket and rifle case, lace up his combat boots and head out the door, making a beeline for where he knew Hanamura lived. And under normal circumstances, he might have ignored this, dismissing it as a coincidence. But the recent string of events -- Hanamura's run-in with the psychopath, his selfish murder and the run-in with the Mad Hatter -- had set his nerves on end, and he needed to move. To do something, anything. (Something with blood. He needed to know that he was committing an act of violence.)
Making his way around the twisted labyrinth of alleyways in Terra, weaving in and out of the backalleys, tracing the quickest way to his destination. And it was almost shameful, the fact that he came terribly close to missing the noises that filtered through the air -- because they certainly alarmed him, once he realized what they were. The sounds of movement. The slice of a blade through the air. And a voice. -- Hanamura? Sounding. -- different. Off. (Better. -- no, no, not himself. What's happened?)
Quickly changing his path, he jumped a low fence, snaking through a series of fenced-off areas and finally coming across a sight that froze him in his tracks. Hanamura and -- the winged girl, Nill. And a strange figure that couldn't be human. Constructed of -- blood? But not all the blood was in that figure, no. Nill -- a knife in her wing. Bleeding.
He moved without thinking, actions before thoughts -- block off all emotions, no matter how much they clawed at his chest. That was what he had to do, that was what the person he'd made himself to be would do. It was at the very last moment that he'd grabbed a pistol with an attached silencer, but it was a wise choice, and the two gunshots were almost dismissible, as the bullet tore through the figure made of blood, destroying the swirling head and torso. Disarming it? -- perhaps. But first -- moving quickly, he knelt by Nill's side, glancing up to shoot Hanamura and urgent glare. 'Do something. Get away.' Not yet knowing that he was the perpetrator -- how could he have guessed? Gently plucking the knife from the bleeding wing, he made to pick her up. Take her to a doctor, somewhere safe. Giving Yosuke another glance. 'What are you waiting for?'
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A moment of calm until he heard the gunshots -- cringing, flinching back in order to protect himself. He thought it was the military at first, too focused on Nill to see who it was. His concentration obviously fell apart with his sudden rush of fear as well. As before, he lurched forward when the Persona lost form. He had to be a little more careful. His head tilted slightly as he thought that he could hear Yosuke's voice in his head -- screaming to go back to see if Shika was okay, begging Kazama to run away, for Nill to be alright -- all sorts of thoughts like that.
"Just trying to seem selfless, but you just don't want them to be mad at you." His shoulders were hunched slightly, snarling slightly at the fake. "Think that they'll actually forgive you?" A pause. "Did you say Kazama?" Looks like you noticed something before I did.
"Senpai?" His hand came up to rest against the side of his face, again. Nails digging just above his eye. "Senpai, why are you here?" The pose that he had looked more like he was troubled by this, frightened, but he was actually not sure if it was his own good fortune that brought this to him. All that good karma that the fake had gathered. How lucky was he? Here he thought he was going to have to hunt down the other after Junes was destroyed, but now, he didn't have to.
"Why is it that you appear now?" The shadow continued walking forward, actually heading towards the knife that was discarded in the street. Kneeling down to pick it up, his movements and speech were calm this time. The knife was resting on his leg for a few seconds -- he remembered how Kazama was with the Man in Red. Would his senpai really try to kill me? His eyes shifted from left to right in a quick, erratic manner, trying to get his thoughts in place. No. No, he won't.
His shoulders started to shake as he began laughing. "You weren't there before, but you're here now to protect Nill? What sort of shit is that?" The words were mostly swallowed up by his mirth, just like before on the phone. Every third word was lost as he laughed at Kazama. Maybe he would seen as being in shock or scared, but it really was just so funny. He wanted Nill and his senpai to share in the joke. That was something nice to do, wasn't it? Before Kazama would be in the same situation as Nill, as Shika.
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Pulling the bandanna off his neck, he tied it roughly around the area of the injury. Suddenly aware of the fact that the knife had been picked up. Hanamura was holding it now. All too calmly. And for the first time since he'd walked onto the scene, Kazama felt his instinct scream at him. (Don't turn your back on the kid. Get up. Get out. Why are you hesitation? You have a gun. Shoot him. One blow to the head? Don't you want to see the flowerburst of blood and brains on the pavement? Don't you --)
No. The faint rustle of clothes as he stowed his pistol away in its shoulder holster, and gently lifted Nill in his arms, careful not to jostle the injuries. Where to take her? A hospital -- no. The doctors might find her wings strange. Hospitals were not always a wise choice. Then? -- where did she live? Her guardian? Not information he had on hand. -- he knew a few back-alleys medics in the shadier area of Terra, but they were a considerable walk away.
-- but soon enough, these matters were pushed down his list of priorities, because the burst of laughter from Yosuke snapped him out of his thoughts. And he could only stare at the younger, brows furrowed the slightest. Eyes narrowing to a scrutinizing glare. (What's wrong with you?) "This isn't the time for joking like that. We need to get her treatment." Adjusting her weight in his arms as gently as he could, he half-turned away from Yosuke. (Ignoring the way his nerves told him that it was a stupid move. -- no, no. Yosuke was one of the few people he trusted. He wouldn't change that now. He couldn't afford to.)
And yet. (And yet.) A pause, as he gave Yosuke a hard stare, fingers tightening the slightest around Nill's shoulders, his stance lowering the barest amount to something more defensive. More ready. His arms were occupied -- he'd have to set Nill down to reach for his gun, if anything happened. (Nothing would, would it? But why was his heartbeat racing so fast? His body always knew before mind, and in this situation, something was terribly off, terribly wrong.) A shallow breath out, before he spoke flatly. "-- come on."
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He drew backwards as if struck when Kazama turned away from him. The area underneath his eye twitching just slightly. Seems like you don't want to be friendly with me, huh? At least you're being a little more honest than the others. "It's not fair, senpai." This came out more like a whine, as he was imitating how he thought Yosuke spoke. "Senpai. What sort of senpai are you? You just left out of nowhere. I was so sad. I wondered if you hated me. 'Cause, you know, it's all about me." The false sadness disappeared as he turned the knife in circles at his side, the blade making small loops in the air. "Me, me, me."
"God, the way that you're holding her." His gaze turned disgusted, not sure if it was because it reminded him of how he was held after his attack, or just continued annoyance at not getting the reactions that he really wanted from Kazama. "Guess that means that you're pretty sweet on her." Another faint shrug of his shoulders as he followed after, slow steps, in no hurry. His free hand to come up to scratch his chin slightly, scrutinizing. "It's real annoying. But, I guess that's why I don't need you anymore, senpai." Even the shadow wasn't sure where that connection came from, but it didn't matter. He didn't have to ask Kazama if he thought he was real or not. Tired of getting the same answers that he was Yosuke so he was real. No, he was himself! He didn't want anything to do with that person!
The blade was steadied in his hand as he took a moment to stare at it. Bloody with some grit and dirt sticking to it from the street. He'll have to clean it before he used it on himself, again, but before that -- his stance changed, not noticing that so did Kazama's, as he lunged forward to jam the knife in that emotionless face. Let's see if that makes you finally look at me. The movements were sloppy if not amateurish, obviously not sure how to keep his stance so that he would not be easily disarmed. But he didn't think he had to worry about that with his senpai's arms busy holding Nill. Who knew, maybe he'd move her in the way and he'd end up killing her by mistake. Wouldn't that be funny?
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No. It didn't matter, not right now. And Kazama actually listened to the drawled words, noting the tone of voice, the sprawl of thoughts, the sneering half-smile, the narrowed glance. As a sniper, he'd trained himself to take in all the small details, to analyze the (target) subject. And he couldn't help but berate himself, at the back of his mind. How hadn't he noticed before? Maybe he'd been too biased, too convinced that this figure from the more innocent time of his life would remain trustworthy. (This is why it's all useless. Morals and justice and emotions. Abandon it all. Just drop the girl, she's useless. Pull out your gun. Shoot him down, slowly. One joint at a time. The feet first, then the ankles, then the knees. Thights, wrists, elbows, hands. Chest last. Then the head --)
It was the shriek of the knife through the air that snapped him away from the dark whispering thoughts, and he barely dodged out of the way in time to avoid the blade. As it was, the edge of it graze the side of his face, clawing up his jawline and tearing at the skin near his temple, immediately heralding a spurt of blood. But he couldn't fight back, not when he was still carrying Nill. And so he ducked down low, avoiding the backswing of the blade and making a lunge for the side, ducking into another alleyway. Nearly lost his balance, trying to maintain his grip on Nill -- he needed to put her down. (Just let her go. Shove her at the kid. Use her as a shield. That'd be easiest, no?)
A sudden heavy flinch, as he tried to shake away these morbid thoughts that continued to plague him -- and this was why made a wrong turn, starting down a side alleyway only to find himself staring down an alley that only ended with a ten-foot wall of concrete. 'Shit.' Sliding to a halt and falling to his knees, he gently deposited Nill to the ground before whipping the silenced pistol from its holster, turning around to direct it at the entrance to the alleyway. Aimed right at where he knew Yosuke's chest would be, when the other rounded the corner. Finger on the trigger, eyes narrowed. (I desperately want to and want not to shoot.)
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His head lulled to the side as he waited to see if Kazama would exit from it, and eventually saw that he would have to go after the two. And where will that fake hide now? He has nowhere. He'll go down to the Abyss, maybe. His hands suddenly went to press on the sides of his head, hard enough that he left red marks on his face. No, no, no! That means he'll have control again. I won't go back! His shoulders shook slightly before he breathed out a shaking sigh. Just had to get rid of those people then he'd be okay, his arms set down at his sides again.
"Senpai, are you actually trying to run?" The shadow called out, not yet at the entrance of the alleyway. He was surprised by how he felt about that -- hurt. "Wow, I'm really surprised by you." Juggling the blade between his left and right hand, he sounded honestly disappointed in the other. And he was. But, once more, he reminded himself that Kazama was being honest. Was running away because he couldn't stand the sight of him now. The amusement was back as he poked his head around the corner of the alley to peek in, like they were playing some game of hide-and-seek.
It died like before but was replaced by shock at seeing the gun. A soft gasp of air as it actually seemed like he would do it. "Are you going to kill me, Kazama?" The fear was obvious as he actually flinched back away from him. His once cocky expression crumbled at the terror of being killed; another emotion hidden away by Yosuke that the shadow had to deal with. "Don't do it. I was just playing."
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But in the end, he stilled his trigger finger, carefully scrutinizing the other. The glint of the knife was still visible, faintly, and the blood running down the side of his face was warm, wet, slightly sticky. Starting to trickle into the corner of his eye, blurring the corner of his vision a dark red. Using his free hand to wipe the droplets of red out of his eyes, he maintained his aim on the Yosuke's chest for a long moment -- before finally lowering his gun the slightest. Still keeping the harsh stare maintained on the other.
Because. That look of fear seemed genuine enough. But then, the other factors -- the rapidly changing tone of voice, the fact that the other was calling him by name, this situation in and of itself. It all reeked of something going terribly, terribly wrong. But what other option was there? Shoot his kouhai? -- no. (Not again. Never again. I don't want to end another life, not when that life belonged to someone who I trusted -- who trusted me.)
Letting out a shallow sigh, he streaked the blood out of his eye once more before finally lowering his gun. But maintaining his state of high tension, shoulders squared and muscles tensed, ready to move at the first sign of danger. The gun, he aimed away, but he continued to keep an eye on Yosuke, speaking in a low voice, flat, devoid of emotion. (Don't show any more weakness, lest it kills you. Always remember the fear, the ice, the bitter mercilessness that's kept you alive so far.) "Stop this game, Hanamura. Put the knife down. She needs medical treatment, and so do you."
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"But it'd really hurt. I already know how that feels. I don't want to feel that again. I've been avoiding all this time." Lies. His arm was cut by his hand and underneath his fingernails was some skin and blood from making his cut larger. Didn't care about the pain because he wanted to shut the fake up. "I don't need any treatment. I don't want to go back to the hospital." He continued to walk leisurely, but his stance had lost the violent edge that it had before. It appeared a lot more tired and passive, like he would just collapse at any moment.
"I didn't mean it, senpai. I didn't." His head lowered as he finally stood in front of Kazama, holding the knife out for him to take. "I just wanted..." The shadow trailed off, seemingly unsure what it was that he wanted. He looked up in a hesitant manner, swallowing nervously. All the appearance of a scolded child before his grip tightened around the knife to lash out yet again to stab the other in the side. "I'm not Hanamura. It really pisses me off when you call me by his name." Twisting the blade cruelly, he smiled in the same manic way as before.
Pulling it out, he could feel the hot rush of blood over his fingers. Different from when he did it to himself. Ah, all that worry about looking like some gory mess and now look at me. He thought in an amused way as he quickly turned on his heel to run away. His sneakers nearly slipping out from under him in his hurry to get away. The shadow remembered what happened with the Man in Red, remembered just how well that Kazama could handle a situation like that. Did not want to fight that if it came down to it.
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The sudden impact against his side was what sent him lurching violently out of these thoughts. -- what? Feeling the breath catch in his throat, he froze, staring at Yosuke with wide eyes, blood slowly seeping into his mouth, as the pain began to tear through his stomach. (-- Hanamura. Why? -- I don't --) And before he could make a grab for the other's wrist, the knife was given an agonizing half-twist, sending a searing shard of pain screaming through his veins.
His vision went white for a moment, when the knife was torn out in a flash of opera scarlet. Tiny specks of flesh and skin decorating the blood-stained blade. And Kazama fell to his knees, pressing his empty hand against the wound instinctively, feeling the warm rush of blood down his fingers. Still unable to comprehend what had happened. (-- I knew it, I knew I should have shot him on sight. Given no mercy.) His eyes suddenly dark with a feral anger, he raised the gun and fired, just barely missing the heel of Hanamura's foot.
"-- I'll kill you, I swear I'll kill you, come back here --" It was a low hiss of words as he staggered to his feet, stumbling after where the other had fled. And for a moment, he had the perfect opportunity to kill, a straight path with Hanamura's back clearly visible. The beginnings of an insane half-smile creeping onto his features, he raised the gun, finger on the trigger --
-- missed. Intentionally. The ground at the other's foot exploded in a burst of concrete, but then, the turn of a corner and Hanamura was gone. And Kazama sagged against the wall of the alleyway, breathing heavily, tasting nothing but blood. Shoulders shaking with each breath. Unable to believe that he'd dare to shoot at his own kouhai. (-- he stabbed you. The little bastard deserved it.) No. A hard swallow, as he stowed the gun away, then made back to where Nill lay. His thoughts were starting to go hazy from the wall of pain that seared through his head, and it was only with numb movements that he managed to pick her up. Slowly making his way out. (-- I don't know what's happening to me any more.)
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Everything is hazy and Nill doesn’t know where she is, at first. It just hurts. Her wings hurt. Her sides hurt. Her head hurts. Her chest hurts. Not as much as it probably should, but the kind doctors have already given her a little something for that; it doesn’t fix her, doesn’t make it hurt much less, but it helps and she doesn’t even know it. Nill squeezes her eyes shut tighter, braces herself for a moment and pushes her small and light form into a sitting position; for a moment the world swims around her, blurs of color and unfamiliar surroundings, and Nill wraps her arms around her ribs, because that helps a little. (keeps the fractured bones from moving too much, keeps the one broken one from breaking further, no matter well she’s wrapped up.) She’s scared, just a little, and she wants Mello. Her big brother, or Yosuke, or- Oh.
Oh.
That was right. Yosuke... Yosuke hated her now, didn’t he? He’d been so mad, so very mad, and she hadn’t apologized. She hadn’t made it right. (Nill hadn’t known how to.)
Vision falling back into the proper alliance, the world ceasing the spin and swirl, Nill finally turns her head to the side and spots her savior, though she doesn’t know it. She finally becomes aware of her surroundings, just a little. (an unfamiliar bed, a room that doesn’t look like it’s meant for people to live in; she doesn’t know it’s a clinic, a place that she’s safe, but she isn’t worried about being safe, either.) For a minute, the barest look of relief touches her features as she finally notices the still and silent form beside her, until she realizes that his clothes don’t look quite right. Not right at all, infact, and neither do hers. They’re both stained, and Nill recognizes it only because of the stained wing that she’d seen before Yosuke-had it been Yosuke? No, that didn’t make sense-had somehow thrown her into the street.
Kazama’s side and pants are covered in blood, more than Nill has ever or ever want to see, she leans forward abruptly, placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking gently, even though it hurts to move, even though it hurts to breathe, and she’s suddenly terrified; ’no, no, wake up, please wake up, please be ok, please,’ and in the back of her mind she wonders if Yosuke is alright, too. (even if he hates her.)
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