This is NOT cool.
Normally, I don't make LJ updates this quickly, however because I was tagged by my good friend ashi_moto, you all get to see just how nice I can be, and conversely, just how much of an ass I can be as well. With that said, here I go:
~List 10 things you want to say to people but you know you never will (because I'm either A. an asshole, B. like keeping things to myself, C. don't wanna put up with the drama, D. have better things to do with my time, E. all of the above)
~Don't say who they are or who you're referring to
~Disable comments
~Never discuss it again
~Tag 5 people to do the same
1.) You are perhaps the single best thing that has happened to me since I went online. We started out with a very awkward friendship, however we were able to connect on a very close level. At first, I even developed a bit of a crush for you, but that was mainly caused by confusion on my part. Talking to you over these last few years has enabled me to mature greatly, as well as help me get through some very rough parts in my life - simple words can not express just how grateful I am for you being there for me. You have become one of my closest confidants. It is my sincere hope that we will never loose contact, even though our paths may never let us meet in real life.
2.) When we first met, I never thought in my wildest dreams that we would become such close friends, or that I would eventually fall in love with you. For over a year, I was in love, but I could never tell you, as I was so afraid it would damage our friendship. Eventually, I built up the courage and just said it, but because of your significant other, I let myself fall out of love with you thereafter, because all I want is for you both to be happy. Both of you have become very dear friends of mine; I can trust you with anything, and I would walk through the fires of hell itself for you, without a moment's hesitation.
3.) For you, you have brought out the very worst in me, it seems. At first, I gladly talked to you, as it seemed you really needed help with things. Soon thereafter, I slowly learned that you are not troubled by other people, but by yourself. You sure as hell don't need a rock like me, you need the professional help from doctors, and your family, whom you push away and demonize. Your incessant whining, your anti-social, sociopathic thinking, and your general creepy factor has really made me not want to talk to people like you anymore, and that saddens me. THAT is the reason why I don't answer your IM's, but I am too nice to block you, as I hate blocking anyone. If that makes me a bastard, then so be it - I just wish you'd take a fucking hint. Every knight has a dent in his shining armor; I guess that is mine.
4.) Ahh, you're the one that led me on like a fool for months. I would try to talk to you endlessly, but you would just ignore me. However, like the idiot I was at the time, I thought you actually cared for me, as you would humor me with a polite smile or a few kind words before slinking back off into that little world of yours. Eventually, I grew wise to what was going on, and I just stopped trying to talk to you. The problems you have had in life are probably blown out of proportion by your shitty attitude. You played me like a fucking deck of cards to fulfill your selfish desires, and yet I forgive you for it. It may be a continuing trace of naivete in me still, but I wish for you to have a good life, and I will gladly talk to you again, if you ever care contact me (I don't put much hope in THAT ever happening...) - just don't expect me to be a tool in your drawer anymore.
5.) Although you are one of my few online friends, and the reason why I entered the online world in the first place, I slighted you behind your back several years ago. Before I learned of the troubles you faced, I had grown to think of you as a complete fucking asshole. The simple fact was, I had taken circumstantial bits of information, blew them out of proportion, and demonized you unjustly. To this day, I still cannot forgive myself for it, even though I know you would instantly forgive me if I told you about it. You have been through so many terrible troubles in your life, and more than one injustice, but you have grown to be such a great person in spite of it. You are perhaps the purest person I have ever met.
6.) We only knew each other for two years back in middle school, and I still believe that you must be the coolest guy on the face of the Earth. It pains me every single day that I never tried to get some contact information from you, so that we could keep in touch after you left for Pennsylvania. Wherever you are, I wish you the best.
7.) You caught a very bad rap from me, and it was mostly my own damn fault. When we knew each other, we were great friends from day one, but personal problems clouded our friendship, and eventually shattered it. That day hurt me badly, and I cursed your name for years because of it. You were perhaps the closest person to me, who's life I made miserable. Over time, I realized that it was my own transgressions that drove you away, and for the last several years, I've wanted to say that I'm sorry, even if you didn't forgive me. I want to make amends with every iota of my being, but I just can't find the courage to seek you out, even though I know where to find you. I am such a coward...
8.) I met you at the very same time as the last guy, and we've had many discussions about him in the past. You still keep a line of communication with him open, in fact. Our friendship has survived almost 10 years, and I fully believe that we will still be in touch 40 years from now. Even though we have practically nothing in common, our close bond remains. The only downside is, I do not feel that I can ever tell you my greatest secret, one that only a handful of people in this world know. I know that you have a very low opinion of the subject, but you're not prejudiced - it is the awkwardness of the situation that I fear. I know that the fact doesn't mean a damn thing to you, and I think you've at the very least suspected it for years. Perhaps the silver lining is that, were I to tell you, it probably wouldn't change anything at all, because it just wouldn't matter to you. That said, you are the best friend I have ever had.
9.) Dude, what the fuck happened? We were seriously going to get together for lunch 2 years ago, and talk about shit - where we'd been, and where we were going, but you NEVER CALLED ME BACK! It's like you dropped off the fucking face of the earth! Seriously, I knew you were kinda flaky, but goddamn! In any case, I was at least glad to hear that you were doing better in life. :)
10.) You gave me the greatest gift I have ever received, and in doing so made a great sacrifice. For that, I am eternally in your debt. I cannot completely confide in you, for if you were to hear the truth about me from my own lips, it might kill you, although I know you'd love me just the same.
I could seriously go on and on with this, but I am satisfied with the results, and besides - ten is ENOUGH! :P
So, the question remains, who am I going to tag next? Well, from my friends list I randomly choose: hethatishere, alphaconqerer, delayed_karma, emperorgix, and zuki_chan. Good luck, people! :D
~List 10 things you want to say to people but you know you never will (because I'm either A. an asshole, B. like keeping things to myself, C. don't wanna put up with the drama, D. have better things to do with my time, E. all of the above)
~Don't say who they are or who you're referring to
~Disable comments
~Never discuss it again
~Tag 5 people to do the same
1.) You are perhaps the single best thing that has happened to me since I went online. We started out with a very awkward friendship, however we were able to connect on a very close level. At first, I even developed a bit of a crush for you, but that was mainly caused by confusion on my part. Talking to you over these last few years has enabled me to mature greatly, as well as help me get through some very rough parts in my life - simple words can not express just how grateful I am for you being there for me. You have become one of my closest confidants. It is my sincere hope that we will never loose contact, even though our paths may never let us meet in real life.
2.) When we first met, I never thought in my wildest dreams that we would become such close friends, or that I would eventually fall in love with you. For over a year, I was in love, but I could never tell you, as I was so afraid it would damage our friendship. Eventually, I built up the courage and just said it, but because of your significant other, I let myself fall out of love with you thereafter, because all I want is for you both to be happy. Both of you have become very dear friends of mine; I can trust you with anything, and I would walk through the fires of hell itself for you, without a moment's hesitation.
3.) For you, you have brought out the very worst in me, it seems. At first, I gladly talked to you, as it seemed you really needed help with things. Soon thereafter, I slowly learned that you are not troubled by other people, but by yourself. You sure as hell don't need a rock like me, you need the professional help from doctors, and your family, whom you push away and demonize. Your incessant whining, your anti-social, sociopathic thinking, and your general creepy factor has really made me not want to talk to people like you anymore, and that saddens me. THAT is the reason why I don't answer your IM's, but I am too nice to block you, as I hate blocking anyone. If that makes me a bastard, then so be it - I just wish you'd take a fucking hint. Every knight has a dent in his shining armor; I guess that is mine.
4.) Ahh, you're the one that led me on like a fool for months. I would try to talk to you endlessly, but you would just ignore me. However, like the idiot I was at the time, I thought you actually cared for me, as you would humor me with a polite smile or a few kind words before slinking back off into that little world of yours. Eventually, I grew wise to what was going on, and I just stopped trying to talk to you. The problems you have had in life are probably blown out of proportion by your shitty attitude. You played me like a fucking deck of cards to fulfill your selfish desires, and yet I forgive you for it. It may be a continuing trace of naivete in me still, but I wish for you to have a good life, and I will gladly talk to you again, if you ever care contact me (I don't put much hope in THAT ever happening...) - just don't expect me to be a tool in your drawer anymore.
5.) Although you are one of my few online friends, and the reason why I entered the online world in the first place, I slighted you behind your back several years ago. Before I learned of the troubles you faced, I had grown to think of you as a complete fucking asshole. The simple fact was, I had taken circumstantial bits of information, blew them out of proportion, and demonized you unjustly. To this day, I still cannot forgive myself for it, even though I know you would instantly forgive me if I told you about it. You have been through so many terrible troubles in your life, and more than one injustice, but you have grown to be such a great person in spite of it. You are perhaps the purest person I have ever met.
6.) We only knew each other for two years back in middle school, and I still believe that you must be the coolest guy on the face of the Earth. It pains me every single day that I never tried to get some contact information from you, so that we could keep in touch after you left for Pennsylvania. Wherever you are, I wish you the best.
7.) You caught a very bad rap from me, and it was mostly my own damn fault. When we knew each other, we were great friends from day one, but personal problems clouded our friendship, and eventually shattered it. That day hurt me badly, and I cursed your name for years because of it. You were perhaps the closest person to me, who's life I made miserable. Over time, I realized that it was my own transgressions that drove you away, and for the last several years, I've wanted to say that I'm sorry, even if you didn't forgive me. I want to make amends with every iota of my being, but I just can't find the courage to seek you out, even though I know where to find you. I am such a coward...
8.) I met you at the very same time as the last guy, and we've had many discussions about him in the past. You still keep a line of communication with him open, in fact. Our friendship has survived almost 10 years, and I fully believe that we will still be in touch 40 years from now. Even though we have practically nothing in common, our close bond remains. The only downside is, I do not feel that I can ever tell you my greatest secret, one that only a handful of people in this world know. I know that you have a very low opinion of the subject, but you're not prejudiced - it is the awkwardness of the situation that I fear. I know that the fact doesn't mean a damn thing to you, and I think you've at the very least suspected it for years. Perhaps the silver lining is that, were I to tell you, it probably wouldn't change anything at all, because it just wouldn't matter to you. That said, you are the best friend I have ever had.
9.) Dude, what the fuck happened? We were seriously going to get together for lunch 2 years ago, and talk about shit - where we'd been, and where we were going, but you NEVER CALLED ME BACK! It's like you dropped off the fucking face of the earth! Seriously, I knew you were kinda flaky, but goddamn! In any case, I was at least glad to hear that you were doing better in life. :)
10.) You gave me the greatest gift I have ever received, and in doing so made a great sacrifice. For that, I am eternally in your debt. I cannot completely confide in you, for if you were to hear the truth about me from my own lips, it might kill you, although I know you'd love me just the same.
I could seriously go on and on with this, but I am satisfied with the results, and besides - ten is ENOUGH! :P
So, the question remains, who am I going to tag next? Well, from my friends list I randomly choose: hethatishere, alphaconqerer, delayed_karma, emperorgix, and zuki_chan. Good luck, people! :D