The Halloween Candy Conspiracy?

[neo_is_bad]

Halloween is a fake holiday that was created when Big Candy lobbyists pushed a secret federal provision for a candy quota. These subsidies were responsible for an over-abundance of candy. People would recycle surplus candy between halloweens, and eventually (according to simple statistics) a small, but noteworthy number of candies were still in circulation for over a decade.

Fatalities were reported, but unfortunately fatalities in REAL life don't involve demon-lizards dissolving someones body with venomous acid, then drinking their soul.