day in, day out
"Spinning my wheels" is like the tip of the iceberg. For like past few months, it's literally just been work, work, work, nonstop. I mean, I've been doing fun things in between working, but the constant, intense pace is definitely really starting to wear on me. I've been sick the past few days, like REALLY sick. I took two days off from Edible, but still had to work at Starbucks while I was so sick. It was really awful. Like, constantly running into the back to blow my nose, cough up a lung, etc. Ew! Should not be making people's effing lattes! But oh well. I'm feeling better today so that's good. I'm actually at Edible right now, but it's soooo slow that I actually have time to do this, and there's a computer here, so why not. It won't let me "enter" and start a new paragraph, so... "Enter." Grant is in the process of moving, which has been really stressful and hard for him. :( He hates where he is living now, so I think it's actually a really good thing that he is moving into his OWN apartment, separate from anyone else (the place he lives now is like a finished basement where the family lives upstairs, and they suck). I just really feel bad for him because he is seriously struggling financially right now, and I can tell he is just really embarrassed and frustrated at the entire situation. Obviously I don't give a crap about that...Like, 1) I am poor. 2) I have very few material needs or wants. 3) I obviously can and do take care of myself financially. But he always says things like he wishes he could do more for me, or offer me more, and I'm like, you give and offer so much to me and to everyone! He is honestly one of the smartest and funniest people I know. Sometimes listening to him, I feel like I'm watching some tv sitcom or stand up comedy or something. I just hope that once he's moved and settled, things will be better for him, he will be less stressed. Oh, well, another part of that is that he's moving into basically like...low-income housing. So he keeps being like, "Great! Is this really my fucking life right now?!" Everything hinges on the fucking settlement. It's so frustrating, even for me, I don't know how he takes that shit. He can't get a better or even second job, he can't move out of state, he spends his little free time at the gym/getting crazy shit done to his back like having his nerve endings burned off so he can't feel the pain/in and out of doctor's offices. Aw. Poor guy. It's really just so sad. He is such a good person and has had such a hard life. "Enter." In other news, work is...work. Starbucks has been pretty fine lately, Edible is like...ugh. Before Mother's Day, there was talk of me getting a raise and more responsibilities......but then the holiday was insane and it sort of got pushed to the back burner. I haven't really been in much to discuss it further so...yeah, I've got to talk to them. Two new people are starting at Starbucks this week and Steph and I are the new trainers. It's weird that I'm now the barista (not Shift) that has been with the company the longest...so weird. So hopefully I'll be a good trainer and the new people won't effing suck like the last new people did/do. Other than that...I've just been trying to save as much money as I can so I can pay off my effing student loans. I feel like my loans are just weighing on me and holding me back, even though in reality, everyone has student loans. I shouldn't let that dictate my life. Maybe it's just an excuse. So far I've paid off 2 of 7 loans, and just started making monthly payments again this month. I really need to get a higher paying job so I can just get them out of the way. I keep getting this feeling inside like I really want to travel. I want to go somewhere new and different and participate and not just be a fucking corporate slave. Ugh.