love's more like a match, a blinding spark that burns out fast

[neo0one]

I guess Nate and I broke up. It doesn't feel like a reality yet. I feel embarrassed that I have no answer when people ask "oh no, what happened?!" Nothing happened. Nate is too scared to live his life. Is that an answer?

i’ve never felt less like getting out of bed.
i haven’t cried yet but i know that once it starts, it will seem endless.
it will feel like the only endless thing in an empty life.

i can’t help feeling like this is my fault,
and i tell myself over and over, “no, it’s you, it’s you”
but as i chant those words, your smiling face floats into my mind
your phantom hands that i’ve become so accustomed to, on my face, on my back, on my body
your toes tickling mine at the end of the bed
your eyes, lit and lit up and staring into mine
(fully, for once, you’re all there)
and the tears begin to flow, and i keep chanting
“it’s you, it’s you”

there was a reason it was you and me,
i have to believe there was a reason for all of this,
otherwise i’m just floating out in space
nothing around for miles
no one to grab on to
no one to help me

a single body filling up a space that is meant for two.