(no subject)
Right, this isn't for most of the people who actually read my journal, it's for someone I'm working with about a concert I'm going to, so if you actually know me, ignore this.
OTHERWISE...
Here is my TAI story, or at least a version of it. I don't like it horribly much, but it's a start.
“Where the hell are we?” Mike Carden demanded as one Guy Ripley herded four grown men around an oversized shopping mall.
“It’s like hell if someone forgot the matches,” whispered Michael in a tone of awed terror.
“Do people actually go here for FUN?” The Butcher demanded.
“It’s like fangirl heaven…” William whimpered in terror.
Guy Ripley just giggled. “My dear friends, how could you say such a thing? We are in no other place than the hallowed Mall of America, on this most hallowed of evenings, Halloween. Of course it is a center of commerce and youth culture, but it is also the scene of your latest escapade, which the ever-talented Jack shall film.”
“What are you talking about?” William asked, uncertain.
“I am talking, about leading your silly little bass player on the most intense hunt that has ever been undertaken by rock gods!” Guy struck a triumphant pose. “Our dear viewers will simply squeal with their excitement when they see TAI TV this week. But quickly, to work!” And with that he pushed the band further into the hell-hole that is the Mall of America, whipping out colored letters and tape with an overdramatic flourish. “It will be a night to remember…”
~
Meanwhile, our dear hero, Adam T. Siska (a.k.a. “The weak one in the band”) found himself wandering around downtown Minneapolis early on a Friday afternoon with his dear friend and tour manager, Tony, when his phone rang unexpectedly. As most of the people that he talked to on a regular basis had been kidnapped, Adam was uncertain of who might be calling him, so he hastened to extract his phone from his pocket. Instead of a call, he found a text message from an unknown number. It simply said:
“If you wish to see your friends, those denizens of rock heaven, arrange transport to the holy shrine of consumerism, the Mall of America, and you will be directed from there.”
Adam turned to Tony and mutely showed him the text. Tony nodded.
“Well, I guess we’re off to the Mall of America,”
“But how do we get there? We took the Megabus from Illinois, we don’t have a car!” Adam’s voice grew shriller as his agitation grew. Spending his Halloween night surrounded by hundreds of badly costumed teens was not his ideal night. He wanted something spooky, something cool. Little did he know that he was more than likely to get his wish.
“To the lightrail!” cried Tony triumphantly, and the two set off for the pinnacle of mass transportation, the lightrail.
An hour later they found themselves wandering around the obnoxiously large mall. Adam was starting to get peevish.
“I don’t get it. They said we would be directed from here. All I see is a bunch of crappy Halloween costumes and a Hot Topic,” the nearest group of teenagers gave Adam an angry look for the costume comment and fled into the Hot Topic. Inside, William and the rest of the boys crouched behind a sign, as Guy giggled maniacally and steepled his fingers a la Mr. Burns. William had started twitching.
“What’s wrong Bill?” Butcher had just noticed, due to the fact that the floor had started shaking where William’s twitchy foot touched the ground.
“The emo pants…all the emo pants.” He muttered compulsively.
“What about the emo pants?”
“We’re in the zenith of all things emo…and I have not gotten any new emo pants. WHY?!?!”
The Butcher just shook his head and went back to wondering when Adam was going to figure things out.
Meanwhile, back outside the Hot Topic, Adam had started to realize what was going on.
“Tony…why does the poster in Old Navy say my name?” he asked quietly.
“I don’t know. Why does the sale sign at Hot Topic say TAI?” Tony replied.
“Tony, why does the mannequin have a sign that says ‘haha, you’ll never find them’?”
“Well my dear Adam, that might have something to do with the fact that Guy Ripley is running down the hallway away from us holding a giant sign that says “Better luck next time old chap” and laughing like a Hannah Montana fan at the Best of Both Worlds concert.”
“I hate my life sometimes,” Adam sighed, and decided to give up on his epic quest for the rest of the night.
But as seems to be the theme, Adam’s wishes were not to be respected. As he sat on the lightrail making his way towards the city lights, a strange noise began to emanate from the rails. The lights flickered and someone started screaming.
“WHY ME?!?!?!” Adam demanded of the world
“Because the gods have decreed that bassists shall be forever the bitch of the world,” came a spectral voice in reply.
“Who are you?” Adam asked the unknown entity.
“I am your worst nightmare…because it is Halloween after all.”
~
Three hours later, Adam staggered off the lightrail train and onto the landing next to a seedy strip club and bar. Strangely enough, Tony was there waiting for him.
“Dude, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for hours. Where have you been? Why didn’t you leave with me? I told you we should stick together!”
Adam just stared incredulously at Tony.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he muttered, and set out to hitchhike to Milwaukee.
OTHERWISE...
Here is my TAI story, or at least a version of it. I don't like it horribly much, but it's a start.
“Where the hell are we?” Mike Carden demanded as one Guy Ripley herded four grown men around an oversized shopping mall.
“It’s like hell if someone forgot the matches,” whispered Michael in a tone of awed terror.
“Do people actually go here for FUN?” The Butcher demanded.
“It’s like fangirl heaven…” William whimpered in terror.
Guy Ripley just giggled. “My dear friends, how could you say such a thing? We are in no other place than the hallowed Mall of America, on this most hallowed of evenings, Halloween. Of course it is a center of commerce and youth culture, but it is also the scene of your latest escapade, which the ever-talented Jack shall film.”
“What are you talking about?” William asked, uncertain.
“I am talking, about leading your silly little bass player on the most intense hunt that has ever been undertaken by rock gods!” Guy struck a triumphant pose. “Our dear viewers will simply squeal with their excitement when they see TAI TV this week. But quickly, to work!” And with that he pushed the band further into the hell-hole that is the Mall of America, whipping out colored letters and tape with an overdramatic flourish. “It will be a night to remember…”
~
Meanwhile, our dear hero, Adam T. Siska (a.k.a. “The weak one in the band”) found himself wandering around downtown Minneapolis early on a Friday afternoon with his dear friend and tour manager, Tony, when his phone rang unexpectedly. As most of the people that he talked to on a regular basis had been kidnapped, Adam was uncertain of who might be calling him, so he hastened to extract his phone from his pocket. Instead of a call, he found a text message from an unknown number. It simply said:
“If you wish to see your friends, those denizens of rock heaven, arrange transport to the holy shrine of consumerism, the Mall of America, and you will be directed from there.”
Adam turned to Tony and mutely showed him the text. Tony nodded.
“Well, I guess we’re off to the Mall of America,”
“But how do we get there? We took the Megabus from Illinois, we don’t have a car!” Adam’s voice grew shriller as his agitation grew. Spending his Halloween night surrounded by hundreds of badly costumed teens was not his ideal night. He wanted something spooky, something cool. Little did he know that he was more than likely to get his wish.
“To the lightrail!” cried Tony triumphantly, and the two set off for the pinnacle of mass transportation, the lightrail.
An hour later they found themselves wandering around the obnoxiously large mall. Adam was starting to get peevish.
“I don’t get it. They said we would be directed from here. All I see is a bunch of crappy Halloween costumes and a Hot Topic,” the nearest group of teenagers gave Adam an angry look for the costume comment and fled into the Hot Topic. Inside, William and the rest of the boys crouched behind a sign, as Guy giggled maniacally and steepled his fingers a la Mr. Burns. William had started twitching.
“What’s wrong Bill?” Butcher had just noticed, due to the fact that the floor had started shaking where William’s twitchy foot touched the ground.
“The emo pants…all the emo pants.” He muttered compulsively.
“What about the emo pants?”
“We’re in the zenith of all things emo…and I have not gotten any new emo pants. WHY?!?!”
The Butcher just shook his head and went back to wondering when Adam was going to figure things out.
Meanwhile, back outside the Hot Topic, Adam had started to realize what was going on.
“Tony…why does the poster in Old Navy say my name?” he asked quietly.
“I don’t know. Why does the sale sign at Hot Topic say TAI?” Tony replied.
“Tony, why does the mannequin have a sign that says ‘haha, you’ll never find them’?”
“Well my dear Adam, that might have something to do with the fact that Guy Ripley is running down the hallway away from us holding a giant sign that says “Better luck next time old chap” and laughing like a Hannah Montana fan at the Best of Both Worlds concert.”
“I hate my life sometimes,” Adam sighed, and decided to give up on his epic quest for the rest of the night.
But as seems to be the theme, Adam’s wishes were not to be respected. As he sat on the lightrail making his way towards the city lights, a strange noise began to emanate from the rails. The lights flickered and someone started screaming.
“WHY ME?!?!?!” Adam demanded of the world
“Because the gods have decreed that bassists shall be forever the bitch of the world,” came a spectral voice in reply.
“Who are you?” Adam asked the unknown entity.
“I am your worst nightmare…because it is Halloween after all.”
~
Three hours later, Adam staggered off the lightrail train and onto the landing next to a seedy strip club and bar. Strangely enough, Tony was there waiting for him.
“Dude, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for hours. Where have you been? Why didn’t you leave with me? I told you we should stick together!”
Adam just stared incredulously at Tony.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he muttered, and set out to hitchhike to Milwaukee.