(no subject)
i wish there was a button that i could press to find out what i wanted from life. its not that im not happy. i just wish i knew what i wanted to do with my life, where i wanted to be. what i wanted to do.
i dont want to live my life not knowing. i dont want to live the life thats in front of me because thats whats expected.
im lost. map please? heres a dollar.
sometimes it seems im self destructive. sometimes i feel that way. i have to get up at 6am for my 8am physics lab. then deal with classes until 3pm. the day after i have a midterm then exam, then have to study for my next midterm the following night. yet what am i doing tonight? jack shit. i wanted to study. i wanted to read. or so i felt i should do. what do i want. god. this is horrible. i just want to go away. i want to go to some foreign country and be forced to make ends meet. i dont know, its probably not the best idea ive ever had, or currently the most feasable. although a part of me knows its going to happen. ill run away to Brazil for a few years. who knows. perhaps Japan, or Austrailia.
I dont feel like im living for me any more, i wish i knew what me wanted. sometimes it feels that where i am is where i want to be, with school and life; its those times when im happy inside, not that im depressed now. i just feel misplaced. perhaps im not supposed to be here. who knows.
and if you do know. let me know, im dying to find out.
i dont want to live my life not knowing. i dont want to live the life thats in front of me because thats whats expected.
im lost. map please? heres a dollar.
sometimes it seems im self destructive. sometimes i feel that way. i have to get up at 6am for my 8am physics lab. then deal with classes until 3pm. the day after i have a midterm then exam, then have to study for my next midterm the following night. yet what am i doing tonight? jack shit. i wanted to study. i wanted to read. or so i felt i should do. what do i want. god. this is horrible. i just want to go away. i want to go to some foreign country and be forced to make ends meet. i dont know, its probably not the best idea ive ever had, or currently the most feasable. although a part of me knows its going to happen. ill run away to Brazil for a few years. who knows. perhaps Japan, or Austrailia.
I dont feel like im living for me any more, i wish i knew what me wanted. sometimes it feels that where i am is where i want to be, with school and life; its those times when im happy inside, not that im depressed now. i just feel misplaced. perhaps im not supposed to be here. who knows.
and if you do know. let me know, im dying to find out.