Life Update
Lately, all I want to do is read, talk to my friends, watch tv and go on Chatabout. Chatabout gets me gift cards and the people there are really nice. It's just another form of escape really. Ever since my Gramma died, I feel lost.
My mom is too busy living in an alternate universe with her internet chat room friends and her new online bf to care about what I'm saying/doing. She flat out ignores me when I'm talking to her and then laughs when I tell her it upsets me. When I'm talking to her, she'll just cut me off and start telling me about what her new friends did that day. I. Do. Not. Care. It really pisses me off that she can't listen to me and that it's funny to her. I hate that I have t keep repeating myself because she can't be bothered to listen the first, or third, time.
Her crazy ex still lives in the house because he actually rents the room upstairs and she originally moved here to be with him. Since she's in Florida dog sitting or whatever, he got himself all worked up and decided that I was talking to her all the time and that I knew what caused her to break up with him, so he started screaming at me as soon as I got home.He kept flipping me off and telling me to go f myself and f off and other childish crap. Then he started punching himself in the head and asking if he was like my dad (who he's obsessed with lately.) I asked him to knock it off because I want to watch tv. He then followed me from the kitchen to the living room where he continued saying stupid things like "I'm going to smash your cable box. I don't want you to watch tv in the living room. Watch it in your room." He's so friggin dumb that it's just beyond ridiculous. I pay for the cable bx in the living room and watch tv in there because the former tenants wrecked my room so bad that you can't get cable in there anymore. And why would I run a splitter off of my own box? Then he was convinced that I was messaging my mom on my netbook (I was on eBay), so he slammed it shut on my hand and then tried to grab it. I held onto it, but he smashed my hand until I had to let go. Then he acted like he was going to smash it off of the wall, but he threw it across the living room instead. Somehow, it didn't break, so he shoved me out of the way when I want to pick it up. He kept saying "The guys aren't here to stop me. I like hitting girls. Are you scared?" I wasn't. I was furious. I pushed past him and went for the front door and he threw the netbook at my head, which I caught on my way out. I ended up running across the street to my neighbor's house and using her phone to call 911. The police came and just told him to apologize and to stay in his room the rest of the night. They said "We see that her hand is swollen. We know you assaulted her. If we have to come back here tonight, you're getting arrested." and left. Apparently, police in this county don't press charges, or ask if you want to, so you have to go to some office 30 mins away to do that. Then he gets all cocky because he just gets away with this shit.
That was on Monday. Following that fun incident, I still had to get through 4 more days of work. My hand was so messed up that I kept dropping things. I've been icing it and taking ibuprofen and it's much better now. The thing is, he smashed my left hand (I'm ambidextrous, but mostly left handed) on purpose. He knew what he was doing. Work was nuts this week. I got asked to cover a shift on Tuesday, so I did a 5.5 hour shift. I stayed 2.5 hours Wednesday and stayed 1.5 hours on Friday. I finally got a day off on Saturday and had to practically beg them to pay me for Tuesday because they wouldn't put it in the computer. I worked 45 hours last week. I want to get paid for all of them. Instead, when they finally put it in there, they put that I worked 12 to 5. I give up.
I'm honestly to the point where I feel like my life will just always suck. I'll always be getting abused my someone in one form or another. I can't seem to escape it. Maybe that's my fate in life. Who knows? I'm just mentally and physically exhausted. My whole body aches lately. I just really needed to get all of this out. On the brightside, I have some great friends who have been there for me through all this crap and that's made a huge difference. I still don't have friend here in MD, but my friends are usually a text away. I keep wishing that I had people to hang out with here, but I need to get rid of that fantasy too.
My mom is too busy living in an alternate universe with her internet chat room friends and her new online bf to care about what I'm saying/doing. She flat out ignores me when I'm talking to her and then laughs when I tell her it upsets me. When I'm talking to her, she'll just cut me off and start telling me about what her new friends did that day. I. Do. Not. Care. It really pisses me off that she can't listen to me and that it's funny to her. I hate that I have t keep repeating myself because she can't be bothered to listen the first, or third, time.
Her crazy ex still lives in the house because he actually rents the room upstairs and she originally moved here to be with him. Since she's in Florida dog sitting or whatever, he got himself all worked up and decided that I was talking to her all the time and that I knew what caused her to break up with him, so he started screaming at me as soon as I got home.He kept flipping me off and telling me to go f myself and f off and other childish crap. Then he started punching himself in the head and asking if he was like my dad (who he's obsessed with lately.) I asked him to knock it off because I want to watch tv. He then followed me from the kitchen to the living room where he continued saying stupid things like "I'm going to smash your cable box. I don't want you to watch tv in the living room. Watch it in your room." He's so friggin dumb that it's just beyond ridiculous. I pay for the cable bx in the living room and watch tv in there because the former tenants wrecked my room so bad that you can't get cable in there anymore. And why would I run a splitter off of my own box? Then he was convinced that I was messaging my mom on my netbook (I was on eBay), so he slammed it shut on my hand and then tried to grab it. I held onto it, but he smashed my hand until I had to let go. Then he acted like he was going to smash it off of the wall, but he threw it across the living room instead. Somehow, it didn't break, so he shoved me out of the way when I want to pick it up. He kept saying "The guys aren't here to stop me. I like hitting girls. Are you scared?" I wasn't. I was furious. I pushed past him and went for the front door and he threw the netbook at my head, which I caught on my way out. I ended up running across the street to my neighbor's house and using her phone to call 911. The police came and just told him to apologize and to stay in his room the rest of the night. They said "We see that her hand is swollen. We know you assaulted her. If we have to come back here tonight, you're getting arrested." and left. Apparently, police in this county don't press charges, or ask if you want to, so you have to go to some office 30 mins away to do that. Then he gets all cocky because he just gets away with this shit.
That was on Monday. Following that fun incident, I still had to get through 4 more days of work. My hand was so messed up that I kept dropping things. I've been icing it and taking ibuprofen and it's much better now. The thing is, he smashed my left hand (I'm ambidextrous, but mostly left handed) on purpose. He knew what he was doing. Work was nuts this week. I got asked to cover a shift on Tuesday, so I did a 5.5 hour shift. I stayed 2.5 hours Wednesday and stayed 1.5 hours on Friday. I finally got a day off on Saturday and had to practically beg them to pay me for Tuesday because they wouldn't put it in the computer. I worked 45 hours last week. I want to get paid for all of them. Instead, when they finally put it in there, they put that I worked 12 to 5. I give up.
I'm honestly to the point where I feel like my life will just always suck. I'll always be getting abused my someone in one form or another. I can't seem to escape it. Maybe that's my fate in life. Who knows? I'm just mentally and physically exhausted. My whole body aches lately. I just really needed to get all of this out. On the brightside, I have some great friends who have been there for me through all this crap and that's made a huge difference. I still don't have friend here in MD, but my friends are usually a text away. I keep wishing that I had people to hang out with here, but I need to get rid of that fantasy too.