Fic: How the Padildo Was Forgotten (padildo!verse 3b/3 - complete)
Title: How the Padildo was Forgotten (padildo!verse 3b/3 - complete?)
Author: nemo_88, but you can call me Nemo
Fandom: SPN RPS
Pairing/Character: Jared (Jared/Jensen) cameos by Chad, Megan, and an OMC (not shippery)
Word Count: ~4000
Rating: R for lots of curing, sexual themes and situations *gasp*
Warnings: RPS? Crack? Slash? If that’s not your thing.
Disclaimer: I do not know Jensen or Jared. I certainly don’t own them. This series is a complete work of fiction: it never happened.
Summary: This is the fic that began with Jared making a dildo clone (the Padildo) out of his dick and then it grew (the fic that is!)... almost plotty. Who would have thought?
1. Clone-A-Willy
2. Further Adventures of the Padildo
3. How the Padildo Was Forgotten Part a
Author’s Note: Dedicated to vanee for putting this insane plotbunny in my head, cheering me on and reading my fics even when they’re unfinished, unbeta’d and incredibly messy. I would not have completed this without you. *huggles*
A huge thank you to boheme06 and jewels667 for the beta.
I'm really sorry for the delay. Both me and one of my betas were swamped with work last week and this fic suffered for it. Anyway, here you go, possibly the last chapter. :)
(Banner by me, nemo_88)
How the Padildo Was Forgotten
After the conversation with Jensen the night before, Jared had decided something had to give. He had to, once and for all, get to the bottom of this, his feelings, so Jensen would believe him.
Truth was, Jared felt more and more comfortable putting the label ‘bi’ on himself. (And this did not involve standing 15 minutes in front of the bathroom mirror repeating, ‘Hi, I’m Jared, I’m bi’ out loud. Nope. Not at all.)
Logically, Jared thought, a man shouldn’t question his sexuality at the age of 24 unless there was something to question. Right? That Jared was open to the idea of getting it on with his best - male! - friend would have made anyone start to wonder. Jensen didn’t seem to agree.
But Jared had a plan. He was going to work this out. He was not going to bother Jensen again until he had hard proof. Or maybe bothering Jen would become his proof. Jared grinned to himself.
Anyway, he had a plan.
* * *
“Do you remember me as a child?”
“Uh, no JT we just grew up together.”
Jared smiled a little at that. He knew his sister was the right person to talk to. Jensen had gone on and on about his childhood stuff, how he knew and it just seemed like the right place to start.
“What was I like?”
“Jared, you dork, what’s going on? Your acting coach told you to find your inner child again?”
Jared scoffed, “I don’t have an acting coach anymore.”
“So?”
“I’ve just been thinking.”
Jared smiled into the phone. He could hear his mama in the background, shouting at his father to turn down the TV. It sounded so much like home, so far away and still so close at heart. He missed Texas sometimes.
“And?”
“And I think… I think I might be gay. Or bisexual.”
Jared thought that should be hard to say. Like, he should feel relived he’d told someone. Strangely it didn’t help at all. He was just as confused.
“You figured this out now?”
“Yeah, well... yeah.”
“Took you long enough.” Jared could practically hear his sister smirking on the other end of the line.
“Oh. You… knew?”
“JT, you’re my brother, course I knew. I thought you knew. Like, you didn’t think there was anything weird about it so you didn’t bother telling us.”
“Huh. I- I never thought that. How did you know?”
“JT, we‘ve got pictures of you in girl clothes on our fridge. That’s a dead giveaway.”
“I was five!”
“Exactly. And you looked adorable in your purple skirt and pink slippers. Wish I’d been old enough to remember that.”
“I’m not a drag queen,” Jared muttered.
“I know, but still, it’s pretty obvious. Oh, and you stole all of my Barbies, remember? Mom had to buy you your own Ken dolls.”
“Oh come on, all guys play with dolls.”
“No JT, they really don’t.”
“What else?”
“Uh, remember that freshman Carl something-“
“Carl from across the street- Carl?”
“Yeah, he who was completely in love with you.”
“Carl was in love with me?”
“Uh huh. Had it been any other guy, they would have beaten him up and told him to get lost. You guys actually became friends. Unless… something more happened that you never told me?”
“What? No! I didn’t even know. Carl was in love with me?”
“You know, we probably have his number around here somewhere if you wanna call him...” Megan teased. “I always thought something happened between you two.”
“Ha ha, very funny.”
“Just checkin’. So what made you start thinking about this in the first place, big brother?”
“Uh, Jensen, actually.”
“No way!”
“Uh… yes, way?”
“Oh my god. You and Jensen Ackles?”
“No, not like that! He came out to me the other day. Um, Jensen’s gay.” Jared bit his lip, feeling nervous all of a sudden, like he was a fucking girl gossiping about his new crush. ”And Chad says he likes me.”
“Well, does he?”
“I don’t know. I think so. I hope so.”
“JT. Go for it. Seriously. I will not have you as my brother if you don’t act on it. I will disown you. Never in my life forgive you. You hear me? It’s Jensen Ackles.”
“He doesn’t believe me! That I’m gay too. Or bi, whatever.”
“Then make him.”
“It’s like ‘gay’ is his thing now and I can’t be gay too because then I’m copying him. Like there are no other gay people in world.” Jared pouted into the phone and although his sister couldn’t see it from miles away he was pretty sure she picked up on it. Funny how just talking with someone back home made him feel like a kid again. Apparently, his sister agreed.
“Well, if you stopped being such a child, maybe he’d believe you.”
* * *
Jared settled in front of the computer feeling giggly and nervous. Finding what he was searching for on the net wasn’t very hard. The internet was for porn after all.
After the phone conversation with his sister, Jared felt a little better about his new discovery. He was bi. Even if Jensen refused to see it and thought he was making shit up. But his sister, his family, knew him and it made him comfortable knowing he had someone rooting for him back in Texas.
Even if his thoughts of Jen had been of the more explicit variety, Jared wasn’t exactly experienced when it came to guy-on-guy action. The whole thing seemed foreign somehow making it a little more arousing.
Jared browsed the videos on his laptop, trying to find one that seemed less crappy than the others. He picked one at random, started the film and sat back, grinning, his eyes oddly fixated on the screen.
It hadn’t even been ten minutes before Chad came out of the guest bedroom, wearing sweatpants and an old cheap t-shirt, hair muzzled and looking groggy after sleeping the whole day away. Right then, Jared considered calling Sophia and begging her to work their stuff out, because living with Chad 24/7? Was starting to become a pain.
“Dude, what are you watching?”
Chad rubbed his eyes before leaning over the back of the sofa and Jared’s shoulder.
“Oh, fuck. Is that?” Chad’s nose crinkled in disgust, “Nasty.”
“It’s porn, man, it’s supposed to be nasty.”
Chad, took in the picture on the screen, watched as a man forcefully pushed his dick into another man’s ass and frowned in disgust. “Yeah, but that’s just gross.”
“Like you’ve never taken a girl in the ass.”
“A girl? Yes,” Chad said like it made all the difference in the world. “Put that shit away!” He added and slapped Jared’s hands away to shut the laptop.
Jared laughed. “Fine.”
“Dude, you like, into that shit or what?”
“I don’t know.” Jared shrugged. “My pants are still on, right?”
The truth was, if Chad hadn’t been in the room next door, Jared’s jeans probably would’ve been in a pile around his ankles. He could only ignore his hardening dick for so long.
“Yeah, and thank god for that. If I caught you jerking off to that I’d be scarred for life.”
“You’re already as scarred as one can be, Chad,” Jared laughed. Chad just snorted in response. Jared soon grew serious though, thinking this was as good a time as any to tell his friend about his new discovery. “I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual though.”
Chad looked at him for a short moment, taking him in. Tilted his head and nodded. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure of that too.”
* * *
Jared wasn’t sure what his plan was anymore. After watching the erotic movies and admitting to himself that they turned him on, it felt like it was time to take another step forward. The porn had aroused him in a way he hadn’t thought possible, with curiosity and a feeling of did people really do that? Of course, being porn, it was extreme and exaggerated but still, it made him wonder.
So it had seemed like a good idea; get some drinks, meet a few people. It wasn’t like he intended to pick up some random guy for a one-night-stand. More like he wanted to see if he could.
But sitting at the bar now, Jared was having doubts. What was he trying to prove?
The minute he had walked into the club he felt like all eyes were on him. He felt far too obvious in his expensive brand jeans and pink shirt (although that was what he usually wore) and while the suggestive looks were flattering, Jared had never felt so cheap in his life.
He had to admit, he was terrified. That was probably why he had answered every guy who had walked up to him with a “I’m waiting for someone” and a polite smile.
Jared was just about to leave when he heard a voice say, “There was never anyone coming, am I right?”
Jared turned his head to see the bartender watching him kindly. He was a man in his mid-thirtees, wearing a black t-shirt with the club’s logo, his hair short and curly. He was good-looking enough to be attractive but not good-looking enough to be intimidating. He was one of those guys who, if you met him, you’d swear immediately he was gay. There was just something about him that felt feminine, maybe the tone of his voice or how he kept his arms closer to his body. Or maybe just because he didn’t seem to take part of that macho bullshit Jared was so used to.
“Uh, no. Yes. I mean, you’re right.” Jared rambled, feeling nervous all of a sudden.
“Your first time out?”
“At a gay bar? Yes. That obvious?”
“Don’t worry, honey, you’re doing fine,” the bartender said and slid him a new beer across the counter. “On the house.”
“Really? Thanks.” Jared thought he must look really pathetic for the bartender to be offering him free beers, but he accepted the drink with a smile. “I didn’t chase those guys off just because, you know? I mean, there is someone. He would never come to a place like this though.” Jared paused, considering it with a frown. “I think.”
“You don’t know him very well?”
“Oh, I do. He’s my best friend.”
“Ouch, bad idea, hun. Best friends? Don’t go there.”
“Yeah, I know, right? But Jensen’s…”
“Straight as an arrow?”
“Nah. He’s gay. He just didn’t have the balls to tell me until like, a couple of weeks ago.” The bartender frowned and Jared continued, “You know, actually, he wasn’t even the one who told me, I had to learn about it from Chad.”
“And who’s Chad?” The bartender asked, obviously amused by this talkative stranger.
“Chad Michael Murray? He’s sort of a soap star, I guess. He’s a friend of mine, but a bit of a douche. And a jerk.”
The bartender laughed while Jared continued. “And now it’s like, Jensen won’t even believe that I might be into guys too.”
“You just came out?”
“Yeah. I mean, I had a girlfriend recently so I guess that’s why Jen doesn’t believe me, but still, you know? It’s not like I would lie about it. Do I seem straight to you?”
“Honey, if you’re straight, my name’s Mary Poppins.”
“Exactly!" Jared agreed, feeling relieved. ”Thank you!”
“No problem. But have you tried telling this Jensen guy how you feel about him?”
“How I…?” Jared laughed nervously, “I mean, I- No? I guess I haven’t.”
“Maybe you should. Maybe he’ll surprise you.”
“I don’t know. Chad-“
“The soap star?”
“Yeah. He says Jensen’s into me. But you know, Chad’s also a big fat liar and a homophobe so I wouldn’t count on anything he says to be true.”
The bartender chuckled at that, but offered, “Well, you should try to find out.”
“And how would I do that? I’ve already tried asking, and that went straight to hell.”
The bartender winked, “Have you tried seducing him?”
Jared almost choked on his beer, coughing a few times before replying, “Have I...? No, I haven’t tried… that.” Jared laughed nervously. This being a virgin all over again was really starting to feel embarrassing. “I wouldn’t know what to do,” he admitted.
“Boy, with your looks I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”
Jared felt a hint of a blush creeping up his cheeks. “I don’t know about that. Jensen’s the pretty one.”
“Prettier than you? I don’t believe it,” the bartender replied, smiling kindly. “Look, darling, I gotta get back to work. Good luck with this Jensen guy, okay?”
“Yeah, of course, I’m keeping you. Thank you so much though.”
“No problem. Just make sure to get that guy, okay?”
“I will.” Jared responded. “Wait, what’s your name?”
The bartender seemed to hesitate for a second before saying, “Matt.”
“Okay, well, thank you, Matt. I appreciate the chat.”
Matt gave him a short nod in response before busying himself behind the bar and bringing beers and the stupidest colorful little drinks Jared had ever seen to new customers. Jared smiled for a moment, feeling better about himself, before exiting the bar. This time he didn’t care who looked, or what they tried to whisper seductively in his ear, on his way out.
* * *
Jared busted into Jen’s trailer, rummaging through Jensen’s stuff as he went. “Jen, have you seen my gummy bears?”
Jensen, who was going through his lines silently in his head, chuckled and handed Jared a plastic box filled with candy, wordlessly.
“Oh, thanks man! I’ve been looking all over for this. I must’ve left it in here.”
“Uh huh.”
Jared laughed. “I was going nuts, you know? I need my daily candy fix.” He threw a few colorful bears in the air and with the silliest grimace and his tongue sticking out, he caught them in his mouth. Jared chewed, turned to Jensen and grinned, small pieces of candy stuck between his teeth.
“Do you have any idea what kind of shit you’re eating?” Jensen asked, amused.
“What? It’s gummy bears!” Jared picked one up from his box and with his thumb and forefinger, he walked it across the table towards Jensen. “Hi, I’m Mr. Gummy! I’m very yummy!” Jared said in his silliest voice.
“Yeah, and Mr. Gummy is made out of 90 percent pork fat and colored with ground lice.”
“Nah uh,” Jared pouted.
“Have you read the list of ingredients on this thing?” Jensen pointed at the box of candy. “Gelatin - that’s pig fat. Those red little fellas? Colored with carmine. You find that in cochineal insects.”
Jared stared at his friend, dumbfounded. He was a little impressed. How did Jensen know all this stuff? ”Dude, you’re smart.”
“Damn straight I am. I don’t eat that shit.”
Jared smiled. “I don’t mind a little pork fat. It’s not like I don’t eat meat, you know? They taste good.” Jensen was chuckling as Jared put more candy in his mouth. “My bears are nutritious and delicious.”
Jensen shook his head. “If you say so.”
“Oh, they are. Wanna try?” Jared said, grinning as he picked a golden gummy bear from his box and held it out to Jensen.
“No, thanks.”
“Oh, come on,” Jared probed and went closer. “It’s a reeeally good little bear. Delicious. I swear.” He held the piece of candy up to Jensen’s lips now, only an inch from his face and Jensen tried to swat his hands away, but didn’t succeed.
And when Jensen opened his mouth to speak - probably to object - Jared managed to press the gummy bear past Jensen’s lips. Jared showed a quick flash of teeth in triumph, his face close to Jen’s. Before Jensen had a chance to react, Jared planted his lips firmly on his.
Jared told himself it was to keep Jensen from spitting out the candy, but the truth was, Jensen just looked so wonderfully annoyed and kissable, he couldn’t help himself. Jen’s lips were slightly parted in surprise when he leaned in and Jared didn’t miss the opportunity to slid his tongue into Jensen’s mouth.
The few short seconds that the kiss lasted was a battle of tongues over the now slippery little gummy bear, which traveled back and forth past their lips. Jensen was forceful in his attempts to return the bear to Jared and Jared was as persistent to let it stay in Jensen’s mouth. The gummy bear was handled with tongue and teeth and Jared was gripping a handful of Jensen’s shirt tightly to keep him from pulling away. He grinned against Jen’s lips, the sugary taste of candy mixed with Jensen almost too good to be true.
In the end, when Jensen made a - to Jared’s ears - adorable little ‘hmphh’ sound and pushed him away, Jared was the one left with the candy in his mouth. He flashed it between his teeth, grinning. “Sure you don’t want it back?”
“What the hell was that?!” Jensen exclaimed and dried his mouth with the back of his hand.
“I kissed you,” Jared answered, almost proud.
“Yeah, I noticed!”
“Then stop asking stupid questions,” Jared teased.
Jensen sighed and scratched the back of his neck. “Look, Jay, fuck, I-“
“No, Jen. Let me: I’m bisexual.”
“Oh,” Jensen said dumbly. “Okay.”
“And I wanted to kiss you. But it’s been a bitch trying to figure this out, you know? Cause I’m not like you. I live in the moment, ‘every day like it’s my last’ sort of thing. I don’t go round thinking about stuff, worrying about shit. It took me some time, but I know now. I like girls. Hell, I loved Sandy. But I like guys too.”
“Jared-“
“No, let me say this.” He smiled. ”Well, I’m not really sure what I’m saying, but let me finish.”
Jensen could just nod and let him go on.
“You know, my own sister has thought all this time that I was gay.” Jared laughed a little, continuing, “Guess she knows me better than I do. But it’s been hard, you know? All this stuff about the dildo, and your lectures, denying me when I’m trying to tell you something.”
“I’m… sorry?” Jensen offered helplessly.
“And Chad brought his bullshit of course, cause he walked in on me watching gay porn-“
“Wait, Chad what? Gay porn?”
“- And then my sis brings up this childhood stuff, like it was obvious all along. And you said all that about knowing but I didn’t know, and does that make me stupid, or what? But it’s not like I was normal when I was a kid, I’ve always felt different.”
Jared knew he was rambling and probably not making much sense, but still, he needed to get this stuff out. He took a deep breath, continued, “And Chad says you’ve liked me for years, and I’m starting to believe he’s right and shit, it’s so hard to wrap my mind around that. I didn’t know what to do, but this gay bartender I met-“
“What gay guy?” Jensen asked suspiciously.
“Matt something. Anyway, he said I should seduce you or something, like it’s that simple. You’re my best friend and I don’t wanna fuck that up but I wanted to kiss you today so I kissed you.”
There was a short moment when neither spoke and Jensen watched him silently, probably wondering if his ramble would continue.
“Right,” Jensen said finally, a little wary.
“I kinda like you,” Jared said simply. “And I think you like me too.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said, nodding dumbly but Jared wasn’t sure if it actually was an answer to his statement. Jensen looked slightly pale but kept going, “Okay, yeah.” Another nod. “Sure.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, you’re... bisexual,” he said nervously. “That’s cool. We’re cool.”
“Good,” Jared answered and smiled genuinely.
* * *
“What’s this?”
Jensen shook the neatly wrapped gift experimentally a few times, a curious frown on his face.
Jared had come by his apartment, which in itself wasn’t something uncommon, but the package that he had handed over had surprised Jensen. They sat down on his living room couch.
“Consider it a late birthday present,” Jared said and smiled excitedly.
“My birthday was weeks ago, dude.”
“Yeah, but we never got a chance to celebrate properly, cause of work, so I thought I’d give you something now.”
“You didn’t have to do that. But uh, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Jensen quickly shed the paper covering the present only to find…
“Jay?”
“Yeah?” Jared was already grinning from ear to ear, unable to hide his excitement. He could barely sit still on his spot on the couch.
“Is this…?” Jensen began, only to change his mind and state, “This is a Clone-a-Willy kit.”
“Uh huh.” Jared agreed. “But that’s not all of it. It’s a special kit. It makes a cock clone out of chocolate. How cool is that? You can eat it.”
Jensen looked at him warily. “And why would you wanna do that?”
Jared scooted closer to Jensen on the couch, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “’Cause it’s hot.”
“Right,” Jensen answered, a little breathlessly.
“And well, hypothetically,” Jared continued, placing a kiss right below Jensen’s ear, “let’s say you have a friend-“ Another kiss, a little lower.
Jensen swallowed, “A friend, yeah, okay.”
“And he really, really-“ Jared bit down lightly on Jensen’s neck, earning a soft groan in response “-likes…” Another wet kiss, a little lower; Jared swirling his tongue over Jen’s salty skin. “-Candy.”
Jensen shuddered slightly as Jared kept trailing kisses over his neck, going upwards again, and smiling lazily against soft skin. “It would be perfect-“ Jared mumbled. He kissed Jen’s jaw with open mouth before asking, “Right?”
“Yeah. Fuck. Yes, perfect.”
Jared sat back to watch how Jensen had melted into a puddle of goo on the couch - well, not literally, but his eyes were glazed and his limbs lazily sprawled over the cushions in a way that made Jared’s mouth water.
He gave him a quick peck on the lips, “Great,” Jared said perkily. He was just about to open up the Clone-a-Willy kit when Jensen possessively pulled him back towards his chest.
And that old padildo, lying in the bottom drawer of Jensen’s nightstand, was easily forgotten along with the new present when Jensen took Jared’s chin in his hand and pulled him in for another kiss.
* * *
Epilogue
Struggling with the zipper of Jared’s jeans in frustration, Jensen was on the verge of combusting. The thought that shit this was actually happening - Jared’s right hand was really in his hair, his other gripping at his hips, his mouth really sucking hard on the spot where Jensen’s jaw met his neck - was swirling in his mind along with ‘Jeans. Off. Now.’
Pulling the denim and boxers roughly down Jared’s hips, Jensen pushed him down on the couch. Seconds later - because hell if there was any time to waste - he finally grabbed Jared’s cock, firmly, while his mouth locked with Jared’s, swallowing a moan at the first contact.
Jesus fucking Christ.
This was never allowed to end. Jensen felt like laughing, hard; laughing because there just wasn’t anything sweeter than this. Having Jared so close, his large hands roaming Jensen’s body, struggling with clothes as they went - it couldn’t get any better.
Well, come to think about it - fuck - it probably could, Jensen already had a few things in mind. Jesus, just the thought made his cock twitch.
He felt like laughing, because hell, that dildo had him going nuts for weeks but it was nothing like having Jared pulsing in his hands, responding to every stroke, every touch.
It didn’t matter that Jared was clueless about what to do with his limbs, his hands, and that Jensen’s own dick was still pressing hard against the fabric of his boxers. It didn’t matter, because Jared was thrashing violently, pressed against him, making soft whimpering sounds and breathing hard into Jensen’s neck. Jensen kept stroking, one hand sliding down to Jared’s balls, feeling him tensing, coming closer to release and he got to watch how Jay closed his eyes, breathlessly going over the edge. And it was everything he ever wanted, all at once.
It all, just very much, felt like coming home.
THE END
A/N: ...Or not? I can't promise I won't write anymore of this verse *lol* And if anyone would like to write a porny interlude of the boys actually using the padildo, I'd be thrilled. *g* Just let me know. :)
EDIT: I probably should have mentioned. Yes, the thing about the gummy bears is true. You can look it up. And yes there is such a thing as a chocolate Clone-a-Willy kit. Find it here.
Author: nemo_88, but you can call me Nemo
Fandom: SPN RPS
Pairing/Character: Jared (Jared/Jensen) cameos by Chad, Megan, and an OMC (not shippery)
Word Count: ~4000
Rating: R for lots of curing, sexual themes and situations *gasp*
Warnings: RPS? Crack? Slash? If that’s not your thing.
Disclaimer: I do not know Jensen or Jared. I certainly don’t own them. This series is a complete work of fiction: it never happened.
Summary: This is the fic that began with Jared making a dildo clone (the Padildo) out of his dick and then it grew (the fic that is!)... almost plotty. Who would have thought?
1. Clone-A-Willy
2. Further Adventures of the Padildo
3. How the Padildo Was Forgotten Part a
Author’s Note: Dedicated to vanee for putting this insane plotbunny in my head, cheering me on and reading my fics even when they’re unfinished, unbeta’d and incredibly messy. I would not have completed this without you. *huggles*
A huge thank you to boheme06 and jewels667 for the beta.
I'm really sorry for the delay. Both me and one of my betas were swamped with work last week and this fic suffered for it. Anyway, here you go, possibly the last chapter. :)
(Banner by me, nemo_88)
How the Padildo Was Forgotten
After the conversation with Jensen the night before, Jared had decided something had to give. He had to, once and for all, get to the bottom of this, his feelings, so Jensen would believe him.
Truth was, Jared felt more and more comfortable putting the label ‘bi’ on himself. (And this did not involve standing 15 minutes in front of the bathroom mirror repeating, ‘Hi, I’m Jared, I’m bi’ out loud. Nope. Not at all.)
Logically, Jared thought, a man shouldn’t question his sexuality at the age of 24 unless there was something to question. Right? That Jared was open to the idea of getting it on with his best - male! - friend would have made anyone start to wonder. Jensen didn’t seem to agree.
But Jared had a plan. He was going to work this out. He was not going to bother Jensen again until he had hard proof. Or maybe bothering Jen would become his proof. Jared grinned to himself.
Anyway, he had a plan.
* * *
“Do you remember me as a child?”
“Uh, no JT we just grew up together.”
Jared smiled a little at that. He knew his sister was the right person to talk to. Jensen had gone on and on about his childhood stuff, how he knew and it just seemed like the right place to start.
“What was I like?”
“Jared, you dork, what’s going on? Your acting coach told you to find your inner child again?”
Jared scoffed, “I don’t have an acting coach anymore.”
“So?”
“I’ve just been thinking.”
Jared smiled into the phone. He could hear his mama in the background, shouting at his father to turn down the TV. It sounded so much like home, so far away and still so close at heart. He missed Texas sometimes.
“And?”
“And I think… I think I might be gay. Or bisexual.”
Jared thought that should be hard to say. Like, he should feel relived he’d told someone. Strangely it didn’t help at all. He was just as confused.
“You figured this out now?”
“Yeah, well... yeah.”
“Took you long enough.” Jared could practically hear his sister smirking on the other end of the line.
“Oh. You… knew?”
“JT, you’re my brother, course I knew. I thought you knew. Like, you didn’t think there was anything weird about it so you didn’t bother telling us.”
“Huh. I- I never thought that. How did you know?”
“JT, we‘ve got pictures of you in girl clothes on our fridge. That’s a dead giveaway.”
“I was five!”
“Exactly. And you looked adorable in your purple skirt and pink slippers. Wish I’d been old enough to remember that.”
“I’m not a drag queen,” Jared muttered.
“I know, but still, it’s pretty obvious. Oh, and you stole all of my Barbies, remember? Mom had to buy you your own Ken dolls.”
“Oh come on, all guys play with dolls.”
“No JT, they really don’t.”
“What else?”
“Uh, remember that freshman Carl something-“
“Carl from across the street- Carl?”
“Yeah, he who was completely in love with you.”
“Carl was in love with me?”
“Uh huh. Had it been any other guy, they would have beaten him up and told him to get lost. You guys actually became friends. Unless… something more happened that you never told me?”
“What? No! I didn’t even know. Carl was in love with me?”
“You know, we probably have his number around here somewhere if you wanna call him...” Megan teased. “I always thought something happened between you two.”
“Ha ha, very funny.”
“Just checkin’. So what made you start thinking about this in the first place, big brother?”
“Uh, Jensen, actually.”
“No way!”
“Uh… yes, way?”
“Oh my god. You and Jensen Ackles?”
“No, not like that! He came out to me the other day. Um, Jensen’s gay.” Jared bit his lip, feeling nervous all of a sudden, like he was a fucking girl gossiping about his new crush. ”And Chad says he likes me.”
“Well, does he?”
“I don’t know. I think so. I hope so.”
“JT. Go for it. Seriously. I will not have you as my brother if you don’t act on it. I will disown you. Never in my life forgive you. You hear me? It’s Jensen Ackles.”
“He doesn’t believe me! That I’m gay too. Or bi, whatever.”
“Then make him.”
“It’s like ‘gay’ is his thing now and I can’t be gay too because then I’m copying him. Like there are no other gay people in world.” Jared pouted into the phone and although his sister couldn’t see it from miles away he was pretty sure she picked up on it. Funny how just talking with someone back home made him feel like a kid again. Apparently, his sister agreed.
“Well, if you stopped being such a child, maybe he’d believe you.”
* * *
Jared settled in front of the computer feeling giggly and nervous. Finding what he was searching for on the net wasn’t very hard. The internet was for porn after all.
After the phone conversation with his sister, Jared felt a little better about his new discovery. He was bi. Even if Jensen refused to see it and thought he was making shit up. But his sister, his family, knew him and it made him comfortable knowing he had someone rooting for him back in Texas.
Even if his thoughts of Jen had been of the more explicit variety, Jared wasn’t exactly experienced when it came to guy-on-guy action. The whole thing seemed foreign somehow making it a little more arousing.
Jared browsed the videos on his laptop, trying to find one that seemed less crappy than the others. He picked one at random, started the film and sat back, grinning, his eyes oddly fixated on the screen.
It hadn’t even been ten minutes before Chad came out of the guest bedroom, wearing sweatpants and an old cheap t-shirt, hair muzzled and looking groggy after sleeping the whole day away. Right then, Jared considered calling Sophia and begging her to work their stuff out, because living with Chad 24/7? Was starting to become a pain.
“Dude, what are you watching?”
Chad rubbed his eyes before leaning over the back of the sofa and Jared’s shoulder.
“Oh, fuck. Is that?” Chad’s nose crinkled in disgust, “Nasty.”
“It’s porn, man, it’s supposed to be nasty.”
Chad, took in the picture on the screen, watched as a man forcefully pushed his dick into another man’s ass and frowned in disgust. “Yeah, but that’s just gross.”
“Like you’ve never taken a girl in the ass.”
“A girl? Yes,” Chad said like it made all the difference in the world. “Put that shit away!” He added and slapped Jared’s hands away to shut the laptop.
Jared laughed. “Fine.”
“Dude, you like, into that shit or what?”
“I don’t know.” Jared shrugged. “My pants are still on, right?”
The truth was, if Chad hadn’t been in the room next door, Jared’s jeans probably would’ve been in a pile around his ankles. He could only ignore his hardening dick for so long.
“Yeah, and thank god for that. If I caught you jerking off to that I’d be scarred for life.”
“You’re already as scarred as one can be, Chad,” Jared laughed. Chad just snorted in response. Jared soon grew serious though, thinking this was as good a time as any to tell his friend about his new discovery. “I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual though.”
Chad looked at him for a short moment, taking him in. Tilted his head and nodded. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure of that too.”
* * *
Jared wasn’t sure what his plan was anymore. After watching the erotic movies and admitting to himself that they turned him on, it felt like it was time to take another step forward. The porn had aroused him in a way he hadn’t thought possible, with curiosity and a feeling of did people really do that? Of course, being porn, it was extreme and exaggerated but still, it made him wonder.
So it had seemed like a good idea; get some drinks, meet a few people. It wasn’t like he intended to pick up some random guy for a one-night-stand. More like he wanted to see if he could.
But sitting at the bar now, Jared was having doubts. What was he trying to prove?
The minute he had walked into the club he felt like all eyes were on him. He felt far too obvious in his expensive brand jeans and pink shirt (although that was what he usually wore) and while the suggestive looks were flattering, Jared had never felt so cheap in his life.
He had to admit, he was terrified. That was probably why he had answered every guy who had walked up to him with a “I’m waiting for someone” and a polite smile.
Jared was just about to leave when he heard a voice say, “There was never anyone coming, am I right?”
Jared turned his head to see the bartender watching him kindly. He was a man in his mid-thirtees, wearing a black t-shirt with the club’s logo, his hair short and curly. He was good-looking enough to be attractive but not good-looking enough to be intimidating. He was one of those guys who, if you met him, you’d swear immediately he was gay. There was just something about him that felt feminine, maybe the tone of his voice or how he kept his arms closer to his body. Or maybe just because he didn’t seem to take part of that macho bullshit Jared was so used to.
“Uh, no. Yes. I mean, you’re right.” Jared rambled, feeling nervous all of a sudden.
“Your first time out?”
“At a gay bar? Yes. That obvious?”
“Don’t worry, honey, you’re doing fine,” the bartender said and slid him a new beer across the counter. “On the house.”
“Really? Thanks.” Jared thought he must look really pathetic for the bartender to be offering him free beers, but he accepted the drink with a smile. “I didn’t chase those guys off just because, you know? I mean, there is someone. He would never come to a place like this though.” Jared paused, considering it with a frown. “I think.”
“You don’t know him very well?”
“Oh, I do. He’s my best friend.”
“Ouch, bad idea, hun. Best friends? Don’t go there.”
“Yeah, I know, right? But Jensen’s…”
“Straight as an arrow?”
“Nah. He’s gay. He just didn’t have the balls to tell me until like, a couple of weeks ago.” The bartender frowned and Jared continued, “You know, actually, he wasn’t even the one who told me, I had to learn about it from Chad.”
“And who’s Chad?” The bartender asked, obviously amused by this talkative stranger.
“Chad Michael Murray? He’s sort of a soap star, I guess. He’s a friend of mine, but a bit of a douche. And a jerk.”
The bartender laughed while Jared continued. “And now it’s like, Jensen won’t even believe that I might be into guys too.”
“You just came out?”
“Yeah. I mean, I had a girlfriend recently so I guess that’s why Jen doesn’t believe me, but still, you know? It’s not like I would lie about it. Do I seem straight to you?”
“Honey, if you’re straight, my name’s Mary Poppins.”
“Exactly!" Jared agreed, feeling relieved. ”Thank you!”
“No problem. But have you tried telling this Jensen guy how you feel about him?”
“How I…?” Jared laughed nervously, “I mean, I- No? I guess I haven’t.”
“Maybe you should. Maybe he’ll surprise you.”
“I don’t know. Chad-“
“The soap star?”
“Yeah. He says Jensen’s into me. But you know, Chad’s also a big fat liar and a homophobe so I wouldn’t count on anything he says to be true.”
The bartender chuckled at that, but offered, “Well, you should try to find out.”
“And how would I do that? I’ve already tried asking, and that went straight to hell.”
The bartender winked, “Have you tried seducing him?”
Jared almost choked on his beer, coughing a few times before replying, “Have I...? No, I haven’t tried… that.” Jared laughed nervously. This being a virgin all over again was really starting to feel embarrassing. “I wouldn’t know what to do,” he admitted.
“Boy, with your looks I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”
Jared felt a hint of a blush creeping up his cheeks. “I don’t know about that. Jensen’s the pretty one.”
“Prettier than you? I don’t believe it,” the bartender replied, smiling kindly. “Look, darling, I gotta get back to work. Good luck with this Jensen guy, okay?”
“Yeah, of course, I’m keeping you. Thank you so much though.”
“No problem. Just make sure to get that guy, okay?”
“I will.” Jared responded. “Wait, what’s your name?”
The bartender seemed to hesitate for a second before saying, “Matt.”
“Okay, well, thank you, Matt. I appreciate the chat.”
Matt gave him a short nod in response before busying himself behind the bar and bringing beers and the stupidest colorful little drinks Jared had ever seen to new customers. Jared smiled for a moment, feeling better about himself, before exiting the bar. This time he didn’t care who looked, or what they tried to whisper seductively in his ear, on his way out.
* * *
Jared busted into Jen’s trailer, rummaging through Jensen’s stuff as he went. “Jen, have you seen my gummy bears?”
Jensen, who was going through his lines silently in his head, chuckled and handed Jared a plastic box filled with candy, wordlessly.
“Oh, thanks man! I’ve been looking all over for this. I must’ve left it in here.”
“Uh huh.”
Jared laughed. “I was going nuts, you know? I need my daily candy fix.” He threw a few colorful bears in the air and with the silliest grimace and his tongue sticking out, he caught them in his mouth. Jared chewed, turned to Jensen and grinned, small pieces of candy stuck between his teeth.
“Do you have any idea what kind of shit you’re eating?” Jensen asked, amused.
“What? It’s gummy bears!” Jared picked one up from his box and with his thumb and forefinger, he walked it across the table towards Jensen. “Hi, I’m Mr. Gummy! I’m very yummy!” Jared said in his silliest voice.
“Yeah, and Mr. Gummy is made out of 90 percent pork fat and colored with ground lice.”
“Nah uh,” Jared pouted.
“Have you read the list of ingredients on this thing?” Jensen pointed at the box of candy. “Gelatin - that’s pig fat. Those red little fellas? Colored with carmine. You find that in cochineal insects.”
Jared stared at his friend, dumbfounded. He was a little impressed. How did Jensen know all this stuff? ”Dude, you’re smart.”
“Damn straight I am. I don’t eat that shit.”
Jared smiled. “I don’t mind a little pork fat. It’s not like I don’t eat meat, you know? They taste good.” Jensen was chuckling as Jared put more candy in his mouth. “My bears are nutritious and delicious.”
Jensen shook his head. “If you say so.”
“Oh, they are. Wanna try?” Jared said, grinning as he picked a golden gummy bear from his box and held it out to Jensen.
“No, thanks.”
“Oh, come on,” Jared probed and went closer. “It’s a reeeally good little bear. Delicious. I swear.” He held the piece of candy up to Jensen’s lips now, only an inch from his face and Jensen tried to swat his hands away, but didn’t succeed.
And when Jensen opened his mouth to speak - probably to object - Jared managed to press the gummy bear past Jensen’s lips. Jared showed a quick flash of teeth in triumph, his face close to Jen’s. Before Jensen had a chance to react, Jared planted his lips firmly on his.
Jared told himself it was to keep Jensen from spitting out the candy, but the truth was, Jensen just looked so wonderfully annoyed and kissable, he couldn’t help himself. Jen’s lips were slightly parted in surprise when he leaned in and Jared didn’t miss the opportunity to slid his tongue into Jensen’s mouth.
The few short seconds that the kiss lasted was a battle of tongues over the now slippery little gummy bear, which traveled back and forth past their lips. Jensen was forceful in his attempts to return the bear to Jared and Jared was as persistent to let it stay in Jensen’s mouth. The gummy bear was handled with tongue and teeth and Jared was gripping a handful of Jensen’s shirt tightly to keep him from pulling away. He grinned against Jen’s lips, the sugary taste of candy mixed with Jensen almost too good to be true.
In the end, when Jensen made a - to Jared’s ears - adorable little ‘hmphh’ sound and pushed him away, Jared was the one left with the candy in his mouth. He flashed it between his teeth, grinning. “Sure you don’t want it back?”
“What the hell was that?!” Jensen exclaimed and dried his mouth with the back of his hand.
“I kissed you,” Jared answered, almost proud.
“Yeah, I noticed!”
“Then stop asking stupid questions,” Jared teased.
Jensen sighed and scratched the back of his neck. “Look, Jay, fuck, I-“
“No, Jen. Let me: I’m bisexual.”
“Oh,” Jensen said dumbly. “Okay.”
“And I wanted to kiss you. But it’s been a bitch trying to figure this out, you know? Cause I’m not like you. I live in the moment, ‘every day like it’s my last’ sort of thing. I don’t go round thinking about stuff, worrying about shit. It took me some time, but I know now. I like girls. Hell, I loved Sandy. But I like guys too.”
“Jared-“
“No, let me say this.” He smiled. ”Well, I’m not really sure what I’m saying, but let me finish.”
Jensen could just nod and let him go on.
“You know, my own sister has thought all this time that I was gay.” Jared laughed a little, continuing, “Guess she knows me better than I do. But it’s been hard, you know? All this stuff about the dildo, and your lectures, denying me when I’m trying to tell you something.”
“I’m… sorry?” Jensen offered helplessly.
“And Chad brought his bullshit of course, cause he walked in on me watching gay porn-“
“Wait, Chad what? Gay porn?”
“- And then my sis brings up this childhood stuff, like it was obvious all along. And you said all that about knowing but I didn’t know, and does that make me stupid, or what? But it’s not like I was normal when I was a kid, I’ve always felt different.”
Jared knew he was rambling and probably not making much sense, but still, he needed to get this stuff out. He took a deep breath, continued, “And Chad says you’ve liked me for years, and I’m starting to believe he’s right and shit, it’s so hard to wrap my mind around that. I didn’t know what to do, but this gay bartender I met-“
“What gay guy?” Jensen asked suspiciously.
“Matt something. Anyway, he said I should seduce you or something, like it’s that simple. You’re my best friend and I don’t wanna fuck that up but I wanted to kiss you today so I kissed you.”
There was a short moment when neither spoke and Jensen watched him silently, probably wondering if his ramble would continue.
“Right,” Jensen said finally, a little wary.
“I kinda like you,” Jared said simply. “And I think you like me too.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said, nodding dumbly but Jared wasn’t sure if it actually was an answer to his statement. Jensen looked slightly pale but kept going, “Okay, yeah.” Another nod. “Sure.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, you’re... bisexual,” he said nervously. “That’s cool. We’re cool.”
“Good,” Jared answered and smiled genuinely.
* * *
“What’s this?”
Jensen shook the neatly wrapped gift experimentally a few times, a curious frown on his face.
Jared had come by his apartment, which in itself wasn’t something uncommon, but the package that he had handed over had surprised Jensen. They sat down on his living room couch.
“Consider it a late birthday present,” Jared said and smiled excitedly.
“My birthday was weeks ago, dude.”
“Yeah, but we never got a chance to celebrate properly, cause of work, so I thought I’d give you something now.”
“You didn’t have to do that. But uh, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Jensen quickly shed the paper covering the present only to find…
“Jay?”
“Yeah?” Jared was already grinning from ear to ear, unable to hide his excitement. He could barely sit still on his spot on the couch.
“Is this…?” Jensen began, only to change his mind and state, “This is a Clone-a-Willy kit.”
“Uh huh.” Jared agreed. “But that’s not all of it. It’s a special kit. It makes a cock clone out of chocolate. How cool is that? You can eat it.”
Jensen looked at him warily. “And why would you wanna do that?”
Jared scooted closer to Jensen on the couch, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “’Cause it’s hot.”
“Right,” Jensen answered, a little breathlessly.
“And well, hypothetically,” Jared continued, placing a kiss right below Jensen’s ear, “let’s say you have a friend-“ Another kiss, a little lower.
Jensen swallowed, “A friend, yeah, okay.”
“And he really, really-“ Jared bit down lightly on Jensen’s neck, earning a soft groan in response “-likes…” Another wet kiss, a little lower; Jared swirling his tongue over Jen’s salty skin. “-Candy.”
Jensen shuddered slightly as Jared kept trailing kisses over his neck, going upwards again, and smiling lazily against soft skin. “It would be perfect-“ Jared mumbled. He kissed Jen’s jaw with open mouth before asking, “Right?”
“Yeah. Fuck. Yes, perfect.”
Jared sat back to watch how Jensen had melted into a puddle of goo on the couch - well, not literally, but his eyes were glazed and his limbs lazily sprawled over the cushions in a way that made Jared’s mouth water.
He gave him a quick peck on the lips, “Great,” Jared said perkily. He was just about to open up the Clone-a-Willy kit when Jensen possessively pulled him back towards his chest.
And that old padildo, lying in the bottom drawer of Jensen’s nightstand, was easily forgotten along with the new present when Jensen took Jared’s chin in his hand and pulled him in for another kiss.
* * *
Epilogue
Struggling with the zipper of Jared’s jeans in frustration, Jensen was on the verge of combusting. The thought that shit this was actually happening - Jared’s right hand was really in his hair, his other gripping at his hips, his mouth really sucking hard on the spot where Jensen’s jaw met his neck - was swirling in his mind along with ‘Jeans. Off. Now.’
Pulling the denim and boxers roughly down Jared’s hips, Jensen pushed him down on the couch. Seconds later - because hell if there was any time to waste - he finally grabbed Jared’s cock, firmly, while his mouth locked with Jared’s, swallowing a moan at the first contact.
Jesus fucking Christ.
This was never allowed to end. Jensen felt like laughing, hard; laughing because there just wasn’t anything sweeter than this. Having Jared so close, his large hands roaming Jensen’s body, struggling with clothes as they went - it couldn’t get any better.
Well, come to think about it - fuck - it probably could, Jensen already had a few things in mind. Jesus, just the thought made his cock twitch.
He felt like laughing, because hell, that dildo had him going nuts for weeks but it was nothing like having Jared pulsing in his hands, responding to every stroke, every touch.
It didn’t matter that Jared was clueless about what to do with his limbs, his hands, and that Jensen’s own dick was still pressing hard against the fabric of his boxers. It didn’t matter, because Jared was thrashing violently, pressed against him, making soft whimpering sounds and breathing hard into Jensen’s neck. Jensen kept stroking, one hand sliding down to Jared’s balls, feeling him tensing, coming closer to release and he got to watch how Jay closed his eyes, breathlessly going over the edge. And it was everything he ever wanted, all at once.
It all, just very much, felt like coming home.
THE END
A/N: ...Or not? I can't promise I won't write anymore of this verse *lol* And if anyone would like to write a porny interlude of the boys actually using the padildo, I'd be thrilled. *g* Just let me know. :)
EDIT: I probably should have mentioned. Yes, the thing about the gummy bears is true. You can look it up. And yes there is such a thing as a chocolate Clone-a-Willy kit. Find it here.