Fic: Further Adventures of the Padildo (padildo!verse 2/?) Jared/Jensen RPS
Title: Further Adventures of the Padildo
Author: nemo_88, but you can call me Nemo
Fandom: SPN RPS
Pairing/Character: Jensen (Jared/Jensen)
Word Count: ~2500
Rating: R for lots of cursing, sexual themes (toys :P)
Warnings: RPS? Crack? Slash? If that’s not your thing. A lot of cursing and bad words too. Implied sexual situation.
Disclaimer: I do not know Jensen or Jared. I certainly don’t own them. This never happened.
Author’s Note: Dedicated to vanee for putting this insane plotbunny in my head and cheering me on. Apparently I have an obsession with the boys’ penises. Also, a huge thank you to evie_0 for loving my cracky fic when I think I'm going insane.
EDIT: A huge thank you to boheme06 for proofreading! I owe you sweetie! :D
This installment may begin a little more serious than the prequel, but don’t worry, you’ll have crack before it’s all over. xD
Summary: Second installment in my 'padildo series', sequel to Clone-A-Willy. Seriously, read it first, you won't udnerstand much otherwise.
A fucking stalker dick at its best game. Running around turning gay people on. Should be illegal.
(Banner by me, nemo_88)
Further adventures of the Padildo
The following days were hard on Jensen. It wasn’t something he chose, but it was damn difficult to act normal around Jared. Jay was usually the kind of guy that made you ease up, laugh and just forget the bad shit in life, if just for a moment. Even when you, like Jensen, had a crush on the guy, he could make you relax, always with a new story to tell; a big grin on his face.
Today however, Jared’s usual magic didn’t do the trick on Jensen. He was skittish, and damn it, nervous.
All because of a fucking dildo. Could he act a little more like a pubertal kid who’d just gotten his first blowjob? This was ridiculous.
But it was Jared and Jensen just couldn’t get over it. How did he not know that his co-star was hung like a fucking elephant?
Well, it wasn’t like they shared trailers or dressing rooms. Jared was a laid-back enough guy, probably walked around naked in his house from time to time, but certainly not when Jensen was around. And Jensen had promised himself to never cast a glance in Jared’s direction if they ever were at a urinal at the same time. Checking out another man’s dick while he was peeing was just the kind of thing that made people assume you were gay. Or so went Jensen’s theory. Better safe than sorry.
Turned out, it was hard acting normal, or just plain acting when you imagined what a huge ass dick looked like attached to your co-star. Especially when said co-star was the kind of person that just touched everyone. Like, without thinking; like it was the most natural thing in the world.
That Jensen felt a little like a fraud didn’t make things better. Jay had become one of his best friends in this time they had worked on the show together and Jensen had both failed to mention that A, he was homosexual, B that “yeah, I got a crush on you.” Keeping up pretending was tiring but he saw no other option.
* * *
They were slipping, him and Jared. Growing apart? He was not sure. But Jared seemed a little off lately, not his old, open self. They hadn’t gone out for a beer in ages, hadn’t played a prank on anyone in the cast or crew in weeks. Sure, they worked hours similar to Chinese factory workers but that hadn’t stopped them in the past.
Jared was distant, off while shooting, driving Jensen insane with all those times they had to re-take a scene because he messed up. Especially when the Winchester brothers had to be so goddamn close all the time, fighting each other and hell, Jared looked too hot while doing it, that shit shouldn’t even be legal.
When they finally wrapped it up for the night, tired after 15 hours of shooting, Jensen decided to stop by Jared’s trailer, to catch his co-star before he went home. He didn’t even change back into his own clothes before knocking on the door.
Things were fucked-up between them, and Jensen had no idea why, but he was damned if he was going to let it go this easily. His worst suspicions kept popping up in his mind: Jared finding out Jensen was gay and couldn’t deal, or worse: finding out about his feelings. Not that there actually were any kinds of feelings involved, Jensen didn’t care about that girly shit, hell no. He just thought Jay was hot, no point in denying that.
He had thought he had handled the whole Jared’s-cock-clone thing quite good, discreet even, but obviously something was up. Better to deal with it now than having it blow up in his face later.
“Jared?” Jensen shouted, “Can I come in?”
A loud ‘yeah’ was heard from within the trailer, and Jensen opened the door and got in.
Jared was sitting on a chair on Jensen’s left, seemingly distant, in his own world and with a large cardboard box in his lap. Jensen frowned.
“You okay?”
Jared looked up, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “This came today.”
Jensen took a step closer to peek inside of the box. A couple of shirts or other items of clothing, a few DVD’s or videogames - he couldn’t tell which, pictures; Jared and Sandy at some beach, dressed up at some event, at Jared’s apartment in L.A… All with big smiles, happy faces; the exact opposite of what Jared was sporting now.
Suddenly the pieces fell into place for Jensen.
“Me and Sandy broke up.”
“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Jensen said, genuinely concerned. Although the thought of Jared single made him indescribably happy, the look on his friend’s face now was not something he wished to see on anyone. “I didn’t know. When was this?”
“Last week.” Jared let out a deep breath. “But it was over long before that.”
“Oh, man, I had no idea. I’m really sorry.”
Jared smiled weakly. “Not your fault. It’s just… it was two years, you know? Hard to let it go.”
Jensen nodded silently, not sure what he could say.
Suddenly, Jared’s face lit up into a grin and he put the box away on the table beside him and stood up.
“Man, feels like I haven’t seen you ages,” he said and pulled Jensen roughly into a hug before Jensen had a chance to react. “We need to have some time just you and me soon, I miss it. Some beer, a couple of steaks, yeah?”
Jensen, crushed in Jared’s embrace, only grunted a response, his eyes catching another item in the break-up box, half hidden beneath a pair of boxers. The dildo. The fucking clone of Jared’s cock.
When Jared finally let him go, he couldn’t help it, the words just came out of his mouth. “She returned Jared Jr.? Man, that’s harsh.”
Jared’s laughed a little and picked up the dildo absentmindedly, but his voice sounded almost a bit hurt when he answered, “It was stupid, anyway. Don’t think she even used it.”
What?!
“Well, that’s a disgrace,” Jensen said jokingly. He threw an arm around Jared’s shoulders, feeling light all of a sudden; relieved he wasn’t the cause of his friend’s recent distance. “Let’s have that beer.”
* * *
Somewhere in Jensen’s alcohol clouded brain it registered that the liquor cabinet in fact wasn’t located in Jared’s bedroom, but that didn’t exactly work its way all down to his limbs because they just kept walking.
Because it was dark in the room, Jensen fumbled for the light switch. He stumbled over something on Jared’s floor and fell headfirst onto the parquet. The good thing was, he somehow - and Jensen really didn’t know how he managed - pushed the switch, and the room was filled with comforting light. Lying belly-down, Jensen turned his head to the right to inspect what had caused him to stumble, only to squeeze his eyes shut and open them again to really see if he was seeing straight.
The dildo.
By now, Jensen started to believe that the damn thing was following him. A fucking stalker dick at its best game. Running around turning gay people on. Should be illegal.
And in Jensen’s drunk brain, that actually made sense and seemed incredibly plausible.
Because what Jensen had tripped on was of course the break-up box and its contents was now spread all over the bedroom floor; the dildo mere inches from Jensen’s head, right before his eyes.
“Jen, did Sadie knock you down again?” Jared’s voice sounded from the living room.
A groan, then, “I’m fine, mom.”
With another grunt, Jensen sat up. The dildo was still there, right beside him like a fucking hallucination and yeah, he just could resist.
Heh.
* * *
Waking up the next morning feeling like his head was exploding in slow-motion, Jensen rubbed his eyes with something of a mix of a groan and a whimper and forced his ass out of bed.
Pulling on the first pair of pants he could find, which happened to be his jeans from the night before, Jensen was about to make his way to the bathroom with the promise of aspirin and fresh water.
Only, Jensen hadn’t even gotten the jeans over his hips when he heard a loud thump and something, he concluded, fell out of his back pocket.
Turning around and seeing exactly what that thing was, Jensen groaned.
“Oh, fuck.”
How the hell that thing even fit into the back pocket of his jeans, Jensen had no idea, but last night’s events immediately came crashing down on him and jesus…
He had stolen - borrowed! - the freaking clone of Jared’s cock.
Jensen slumped down on the edge of his bed, picking up the dildo. What the hell had he been thinking?
Well, of Jared obviously. And his dick. With his dick. Jensen groaned. This has got to end.
But it was just so tempting; this was the shot he had been asking for, to have another look. And this dildo thing must have had some kind of hypnotic powers or magnetic attraction because he just couldn’t put it down. It wasn’t his fault, hell no, he couldn’t help it.
Holding the dildo with both of his hands, Jensen let his fingers explore the rubber surface of the shaft. Apart from its appearance, it was far from the real thing; too cold, too plastic, too wrong, but closing his eyes and finding images of Jared on his retina, Jensen had no problems imagining what was in his hand was made of flesh and blood.
Turning on the vibrator experimentally, the dildo started moving, massaging his hand and Jensen let out a shuddering breath, involuntarily. He turned it off though, the buzzing was too much of a turn-off and Jensen didn’t need it. Rubbing his thumb against the head, along the slit, imagining Jared’s groans and whimpers in his head was all Jensen needed to get hard.
“I’m so screwed,” was his last thought before reaching into his boxers.
* * *
“You wanted to make clones out of my clone?”
Oh, crap. Jensen’s plan - to discreetly put the dildo back in the box where it belonged - had gone straight to hell when he had gotten to Jared’s place in the afternoon and Chad was there watching Jensen’s unusually skittish self with hawk eyes. In a moment of panic, Jensen had gone for truth.
Well, half of it. He hadn’t exactly mentioned that ‘yeah, I think your huge ass dick is kinda pretty, at least the clone, and I’d like to keep it, to play with, if I may. May I?’
That would probably not go over very well. Hence, Jensen had fed him some bullshit lie about stealing the dildo to mass-produce it. As a prank, of course. Completely innocent.
“I was drunk! I wasn’t thinking straight!” Jensen tried to amend. Then added, “do you have any idea what kind of money you could get for it online?”
“You wanted to put my dick up on the internet?” Jared asked incredulously. “Whore me out on eBay?”
“Umm...” Jensen really didn’t know what to say to that. His last minute explanation-slash-saving maybe wasn’t so good after all. Damn, if he’d really fucked things up. “Yeah?” he offered apologetically.
“Oh, man!” Chad cackled from the couch, laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. “The fangirls are gonna go crazy with their Padildos!”
Jensen raised an eyebrow at Chad’s new nickname for the plastic toy that had been on his mind for the last couple of weeks and watched Jared’s reaction.
Jay’s disbelieving expression soon turned into a small smile, tugging at the corner of his lips. “I gotta admit, it’s pretty damn sweet but uh… seriously, man? Please don’t.”
“I haven’t,” Jensen quickly amended. “I mean, I never-I haven’t.”
“Jay, are you blind, man?” Came Chad’s amused voice from the sofa.
“What?”
“He’s gay! He wants to clone your dildo so he can fill his ass with Jared cock, not sell it on eBay! I’m telling you, man!”
See, this was the reason Jensen had a natural distaste for Chad. How he spit out this fucked-up shit just like that, without thinking. This and that somehow, Chad Michael fucking Murray knew about Jensen’s sexual orientation the first time they laid eyes on each other. How he knew, Jensen had no idea, but it was fucking degrading to have to worry about this Murray loser having blackmail material about him. That Chad hadn’t told Jay, or the press for that matter, was beyond Jensen and it only made him hate the guy more because he had to be grateful and shit.
Until now, that is.
“Shut up, bitch,” was Jared’s laughed out response at Chad’s outburst as he pulled the cap his friend was wearing off his head and smacked him in the face with it.
Jensen just smiled, nervously, imitating a deer in headlights, completely frozen and not sure if straight lying or running would be a better escape route. Damn it, this wasn’t how he wanted Jared to find out.
“He’s a fag, Jared! I’m telling you! Two years and you never knew? Fucking hilarious!” Chad kept laughing, apparently finding it all very amusing.
Jared looked from Chad to Jensen, an unsure smile on his lips. “Yeah?”
It was a question, one word that didn’t say much at all, only it summed up everything he wanted to ask in just one murmur.
Jensen laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head before shrugging apologetically in response.
“Oh... that’s cool. I guess.”
A moment of silence. Chad was watching the two of them with barely contained laughter and one look at him made Jensen mutter, “Whatever.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
’Because I have a crush on you?’
“Uh, because it never came up?”
“What, didn’t think I could handle it?”
“Nah, I don’t- I don’t know.”
“So, do you like...” Jared searched for the right words, ”have a boyfriend?”
“Not at the moment, no.” Was Jensen’s strained response. Fuck there was no way in hell he was going to discuss this with Jared. No way.
“But you’ve... been with guys in the past?”
“I’m not a freaking virgin, if that’s what you’re asking!”
Jared held up his hands in surrender, “Sorry, man, just wondering.”
“It’s none of your goddamn business, okay?” Jensen said, maybe a bit too harshly because the small smile on Jared’s face faltered and he looked downright hurt. “Here’s your fucking dildo, just stay out of it.”
And with that, Jensen practically grabbed Jared’s hand and forced the dildo into his palm before stalking out of the apartment.
>>Sequel: How the Padildo Was Forgotten
Author: nemo_88, but you can call me Nemo
Fandom: SPN RPS
Pairing/Character: Jensen (Jared/Jensen)
Word Count: ~2500
Rating: R for lots of cursing, sexual themes (toys :P)
Warnings: RPS? Crack? Slash? If that’s not your thing. A lot of cursing and bad words too. Implied sexual situation.
Disclaimer: I do not know Jensen or Jared. I certainly don’t own them. This never happened.
Author’s Note: Dedicated to vanee for putting this insane plotbunny in my head and cheering me on. Apparently I have an obsession with the boys’ penises. Also, a huge thank you to evie_0 for loving my cracky fic when I think I'm going insane.
EDIT: A huge thank you to boheme06 for proofreading! I owe you sweetie! :D
This installment may begin a little more serious than the prequel, but don’t worry, you’ll have crack before it’s all over. xD
Summary: Second installment in my 'padildo series', sequel to Clone-A-Willy. Seriously, read it first, you won't udnerstand much otherwise.
A fucking stalker dick at its best game. Running around turning gay people on. Should be illegal.
(Banner by me, nemo_88)
Further adventures of the Padildo
The following days were hard on Jensen. It wasn’t something he chose, but it was damn difficult to act normal around Jared. Jay was usually the kind of guy that made you ease up, laugh and just forget the bad shit in life, if just for a moment. Even when you, like Jensen, had a crush on the guy, he could make you relax, always with a new story to tell; a big grin on his face.
Today however, Jared’s usual magic didn’t do the trick on Jensen. He was skittish, and damn it, nervous.
All because of a fucking dildo. Could he act a little more like a pubertal kid who’d just gotten his first blowjob? This was ridiculous.
But it was Jared and Jensen just couldn’t get over it. How did he not know that his co-star was hung like a fucking elephant?
Well, it wasn’t like they shared trailers or dressing rooms. Jared was a laid-back enough guy, probably walked around naked in his house from time to time, but certainly not when Jensen was around. And Jensen had promised himself to never cast a glance in Jared’s direction if they ever were at a urinal at the same time. Checking out another man’s dick while he was peeing was just the kind of thing that made people assume you were gay. Or so went Jensen’s theory. Better safe than sorry.
Turned out, it was hard acting normal, or just plain acting when you imagined what a huge ass dick looked like attached to your co-star. Especially when said co-star was the kind of person that just touched everyone. Like, without thinking; like it was the most natural thing in the world.
That Jensen felt a little like a fraud didn’t make things better. Jay had become one of his best friends in this time they had worked on the show together and Jensen had both failed to mention that A, he was homosexual, B that “yeah, I got a crush on you.” Keeping up pretending was tiring but he saw no other option.
* * *
They were slipping, him and Jared. Growing apart? He was not sure. But Jared seemed a little off lately, not his old, open self. They hadn’t gone out for a beer in ages, hadn’t played a prank on anyone in the cast or crew in weeks. Sure, they worked hours similar to Chinese factory workers but that hadn’t stopped them in the past.
Jared was distant, off while shooting, driving Jensen insane with all those times they had to re-take a scene because he messed up. Especially when the Winchester brothers had to be so goddamn close all the time, fighting each other and hell, Jared looked too hot while doing it, that shit shouldn’t even be legal.
When they finally wrapped it up for the night, tired after 15 hours of shooting, Jensen decided to stop by Jared’s trailer, to catch his co-star before he went home. He didn’t even change back into his own clothes before knocking on the door.
Things were fucked-up between them, and Jensen had no idea why, but he was damned if he was going to let it go this easily. His worst suspicions kept popping up in his mind: Jared finding out Jensen was gay and couldn’t deal, or worse: finding out about his feelings. Not that there actually were any kinds of feelings involved, Jensen didn’t care about that girly shit, hell no. He just thought Jay was hot, no point in denying that.
He had thought he had handled the whole Jared’s-cock-clone thing quite good, discreet even, but obviously something was up. Better to deal with it now than having it blow up in his face later.
“Jared?” Jensen shouted, “Can I come in?”
A loud ‘yeah’ was heard from within the trailer, and Jensen opened the door and got in.
Jared was sitting on a chair on Jensen’s left, seemingly distant, in his own world and with a large cardboard box in his lap. Jensen frowned.
“You okay?”
Jared looked up, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “This came today.”
Jensen took a step closer to peek inside of the box. A couple of shirts or other items of clothing, a few DVD’s or videogames - he couldn’t tell which, pictures; Jared and Sandy at some beach, dressed up at some event, at Jared’s apartment in L.A… All with big smiles, happy faces; the exact opposite of what Jared was sporting now.
Suddenly the pieces fell into place for Jensen.
“Me and Sandy broke up.”
“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” Jensen said, genuinely concerned. Although the thought of Jared single made him indescribably happy, the look on his friend’s face now was not something he wished to see on anyone. “I didn’t know. When was this?”
“Last week.” Jared let out a deep breath. “But it was over long before that.”
“Oh, man, I had no idea. I’m really sorry.”
Jared smiled weakly. “Not your fault. It’s just… it was two years, you know? Hard to let it go.”
Jensen nodded silently, not sure what he could say.
Suddenly, Jared’s face lit up into a grin and he put the box away on the table beside him and stood up.
“Man, feels like I haven’t seen you ages,” he said and pulled Jensen roughly into a hug before Jensen had a chance to react. “We need to have some time just you and me soon, I miss it. Some beer, a couple of steaks, yeah?”
Jensen, crushed in Jared’s embrace, only grunted a response, his eyes catching another item in the break-up box, half hidden beneath a pair of boxers. The dildo. The fucking clone of Jared’s cock.
When Jared finally let him go, he couldn’t help it, the words just came out of his mouth. “She returned Jared Jr.? Man, that’s harsh.”
Jared’s laughed a little and picked up the dildo absentmindedly, but his voice sounded almost a bit hurt when he answered, “It was stupid, anyway. Don’t think she even used it.”
What?!
“Well, that’s a disgrace,” Jensen said jokingly. He threw an arm around Jared’s shoulders, feeling light all of a sudden; relieved he wasn’t the cause of his friend’s recent distance. “Let’s have that beer.”
* * *
Somewhere in Jensen’s alcohol clouded brain it registered that the liquor cabinet in fact wasn’t located in Jared’s bedroom, but that didn’t exactly work its way all down to his limbs because they just kept walking.
Because it was dark in the room, Jensen fumbled for the light switch. He stumbled over something on Jared’s floor and fell headfirst onto the parquet. The good thing was, he somehow - and Jensen really didn’t know how he managed - pushed the switch, and the room was filled with comforting light. Lying belly-down, Jensen turned his head to the right to inspect what had caused him to stumble, only to squeeze his eyes shut and open them again to really see if he was seeing straight.
The dildo.
By now, Jensen started to believe that the damn thing was following him. A fucking stalker dick at its best game. Running around turning gay people on. Should be illegal.
And in Jensen’s drunk brain, that actually made sense and seemed incredibly plausible.
Because what Jensen had tripped on was of course the break-up box and its contents was now spread all over the bedroom floor; the dildo mere inches from Jensen’s head, right before his eyes.
“Jen, did Sadie knock you down again?” Jared’s voice sounded from the living room.
A groan, then, “I’m fine, mom.”
With another grunt, Jensen sat up. The dildo was still there, right beside him like a fucking hallucination and yeah, he just could resist.
Heh.
* * *
Waking up the next morning feeling like his head was exploding in slow-motion, Jensen rubbed his eyes with something of a mix of a groan and a whimper and forced his ass out of bed.
Pulling on the first pair of pants he could find, which happened to be his jeans from the night before, Jensen was about to make his way to the bathroom with the promise of aspirin and fresh water.
Only, Jensen hadn’t even gotten the jeans over his hips when he heard a loud thump and something, he concluded, fell out of his back pocket.
Turning around and seeing exactly what that thing was, Jensen groaned.
“Oh, fuck.”
How the hell that thing even fit into the back pocket of his jeans, Jensen had no idea, but last night’s events immediately came crashing down on him and jesus…
He had stolen - borrowed! - the freaking clone of Jared’s cock.
Jensen slumped down on the edge of his bed, picking up the dildo. What the hell had he been thinking?
Well, of Jared obviously. And his dick. With his dick. Jensen groaned. This has got to end.
But it was just so tempting; this was the shot he had been asking for, to have another look. And this dildo thing must have had some kind of hypnotic powers or magnetic attraction because he just couldn’t put it down. It wasn’t his fault, hell no, he couldn’t help it.
Holding the dildo with both of his hands, Jensen let his fingers explore the rubber surface of the shaft. Apart from its appearance, it was far from the real thing; too cold, too plastic, too wrong, but closing his eyes and finding images of Jared on his retina, Jensen had no problems imagining what was in his hand was made of flesh and blood.
Turning on the vibrator experimentally, the dildo started moving, massaging his hand and Jensen let out a shuddering breath, involuntarily. He turned it off though, the buzzing was too much of a turn-off and Jensen didn’t need it. Rubbing his thumb against the head, along the slit, imagining Jared’s groans and whimpers in his head was all Jensen needed to get hard.
“I’m so screwed,” was his last thought before reaching into his boxers.
* * *
“You wanted to make clones out of my clone?”
Oh, crap. Jensen’s plan - to discreetly put the dildo back in the box where it belonged - had gone straight to hell when he had gotten to Jared’s place in the afternoon and Chad was there watching Jensen’s unusually skittish self with hawk eyes. In a moment of panic, Jensen had gone for truth.
Well, half of it. He hadn’t exactly mentioned that ‘yeah, I think your huge ass dick is kinda pretty, at least the clone, and I’d like to keep it, to play with, if I may. May I?’
That would probably not go over very well. Hence, Jensen had fed him some bullshit lie about stealing the dildo to mass-produce it. As a prank, of course. Completely innocent.
“I was drunk! I wasn’t thinking straight!” Jensen tried to amend. Then added, “do you have any idea what kind of money you could get for it online?”
“You wanted to put my dick up on the internet?” Jared asked incredulously. “Whore me out on eBay?”
“Umm...” Jensen really didn’t know what to say to that. His last minute explanation-slash-saving maybe wasn’t so good after all. Damn, if he’d really fucked things up. “Yeah?” he offered apologetically.
“Oh, man!” Chad cackled from the couch, laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. “The fangirls are gonna go crazy with their Padildos!”
Jensen raised an eyebrow at Chad’s new nickname for the plastic toy that had been on his mind for the last couple of weeks and watched Jared’s reaction.
Jay’s disbelieving expression soon turned into a small smile, tugging at the corner of his lips. “I gotta admit, it’s pretty damn sweet but uh… seriously, man? Please don’t.”
“I haven’t,” Jensen quickly amended. “I mean, I never-I haven’t.”
“Jay, are you blind, man?” Came Chad’s amused voice from the sofa.
“What?”
“He’s gay! He wants to clone your dildo so he can fill his ass with Jared cock, not sell it on eBay! I’m telling you, man!”
See, this was the reason Jensen had a natural distaste for Chad. How he spit out this fucked-up shit just like that, without thinking. This and that somehow, Chad Michael fucking Murray knew about Jensen’s sexual orientation the first time they laid eyes on each other. How he knew, Jensen had no idea, but it was fucking degrading to have to worry about this Murray loser having blackmail material about him. That Chad hadn’t told Jay, or the press for that matter, was beyond Jensen and it only made him hate the guy more because he had to be grateful and shit.
Until now, that is.
“Shut up, bitch,” was Jared’s laughed out response at Chad’s outburst as he pulled the cap his friend was wearing off his head and smacked him in the face with it.
Jensen just smiled, nervously, imitating a deer in headlights, completely frozen and not sure if straight lying or running would be a better escape route. Damn it, this wasn’t how he wanted Jared to find out.
“He’s a fag, Jared! I’m telling you! Two years and you never knew? Fucking hilarious!” Chad kept laughing, apparently finding it all very amusing.
Jared looked from Chad to Jensen, an unsure smile on his lips. “Yeah?”
It was a question, one word that didn’t say much at all, only it summed up everything he wanted to ask in just one murmur.
Jensen laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head before shrugging apologetically in response.
“Oh... that’s cool. I guess.”
A moment of silence. Chad was watching the two of them with barely contained laughter and one look at him made Jensen mutter, “Whatever.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
’Because I have a crush on you?’
“Uh, because it never came up?”
“What, didn’t think I could handle it?”
“Nah, I don’t- I don’t know.”
“So, do you like...” Jared searched for the right words, ”have a boyfriend?”
“Not at the moment, no.” Was Jensen’s strained response. Fuck there was no way in hell he was going to discuss this with Jared. No way.
“But you’ve... been with guys in the past?”
“I’m not a freaking virgin, if that’s what you’re asking!”
Jared held up his hands in surrender, “Sorry, man, just wondering.”
“It’s none of your goddamn business, okay?” Jensen said, maybe a bit too harshly because the small smile on Jared’s face faltered and he looked downright hurt. “Here’s your fucking dildo, just stay out of it.”
And with that, Jensen practically grabbed Jared’s hand and forced the dildo into his palm before stalking out of the apartment.
>>Sequel: How the Padildo Was Forgotten