Fic: Underneath It All (Logan/Veronica) Part 2
Title: Underneath It All (2/?)
Author: Nemo (nemo_88)
Rating: PG-13/R?
Word count: This part: 4075
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Characters/Pairings: Logan/Veronica
Summary: There's a thin line between love and hate…
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of its characters.
Author's Notes: Set sometime in the pilot/pre-series, but might include parts from s1. AU. Lilly has died, Shelly’s has happened, but Wallace hasn’t made an appearance.
This was my vm_santa gift for applebashed. Merry (belated) Christmas!
I wasn't planning on waiting so long to update, but then my whacky brain came up with more things to squeeze into this chapter and now... it's long. But long is good, right?
A huge thank you to the awesome pegm81484 for the beta. And to evie_0 for giving me endless amounts of feedback and helping me every step of the way. Should probably also mention that I'm not a native speaker. You can blame all mistakes on me.
Part 1
“Hey, Veronica.”
Veronica smiles to herself. He’s so predictable. Like clockwork. She can’t even walk past Logan in the halls without him having some new smart thing to say about her.
“Yes, Logan.” Veronica stops, and turns around, smiling at him perkily.
“The guys missed you at practice last night.”
“They did?” Veronica answers, still smiling, keeping herself calm and composed.
“Yeah, the lacrosse team. They’ve gotten used to your special treatment, you know. I talked to Jimmy, he really missed you in the shower.”
“Aw, Logan,” Veronica coos. “Don’t you know? Jimmy’s still completely hung up on you. Says he can’t let go of those nights you spent together. It’s pathetic, really. But I had to tell him. You and I both know where your feelings really belong.”
If it’s her words or the completely calm smile on her face - instead of the pretend-calm-in fact-furious smile she usually sports - that caught him off guard, Veronica can’t be sure. But there he is, gaping like a goldfish.
“Say hi to Jimmy for me, will you?” Veronica adds before turning around and continuing down the school halls.
* * *
She’s trying to look at Logan as a case. If he was, the standard searches certainly wouldn’t be enough. She would have to build up a profile. Do some surveillance. Talk to his friends, past girlfriends, all those things Veronica has absolutely no possibility of doing without adding stalker to her resume.
But there’s one more thing Veronica needs to worry about. Logan’s alibi for Lilly’s murder, or rather lack thereof. She needs to confirm, or hopefully contradict, her fears that Logan wasn’t in Mexico like he told the police.
A quick phone call to the border patrol, pretending to be Keith Mars’ assistant, and 20 minutes later she has proof of her worst fears. Logan crossed the border at 8:57 AM on the day Lilly was killed.
It’s a punch in the gut, and it’s leaving its aftermath, a fucking pressing, torturous pain, slowly spreading from her abdomen, making it harder to breathe. She’s feeling dizzy, trying to rationally go over the facts in her head one more time.
Her father had gone after Jake Kane. Abel Koontz had been arrested. But her dad never really believed Koontz was the killer, did he? He had never given up the thought that it was someone else. Could Logan really be that someone?
She just couldn’t believe it. She believed Logan could be many things, but killer wasn’t one of them. He was a jackass, an obnoxious jerk; self-centered and arrogant these days, but back when Lilly was alive? He was different. He still had that bite to his tone, that sarcasm that easily laced with his humor, but he was never mean. Veronica couldn’t possibly imagine him ever being mean to Lilly. She was the one with the upper-hand in their relationship, it was always Logan that came crawling back to her.
Maybe that’s why he killed her.
No, that was just ridiculous. He was the one who broke up with Lilly, wasn’t he? He was the one who left the letter, the one who didn’t have feelings for his girlfriend anymore.
Maybe Lilly wouldn’t have it, maybe they fought and it was an accident.
It too, seemed unlikely. Veronica couldn’t imagine Logan ever using force on his girlfriend; he always treated Lilly so well, like precious porcelain, even when other people looked at her like the school slut.
But her father must have known about Logan’s lack of alibi, right? He was the one who wrote the date on that copy of Logan’s letter. Surely, her father hadn’t missed such a great detail. The question she should be asking herself wasn’t if Logan murdered Lilly or not, it was why didn’t her father think Logan killed Lilly?
Veronica knew immediately that she needed to get into her father’s safe once again.
* * *
She gets the chance when Keith tells her he needs to lend Cliff some advice down at the Sheriff’s department. Veronica rolls her eyes, yes, she can be left alone in the office for half an hour.
Veronica wastes no time, five minutes later she’s once again going through her father files. To her absolute horror, she finds one marked ‘Logan’ that she didn’t see before. Along with it, is a videotape.
Veronica rips open the file, anxiously, while simultaneously plugging in the VCR. She skims through the pages, finding the same evidence she discovered this afternoon; proof of Logan’s car crossing the border from Mexico to the States on that October morning. But there’s more…
Logan was in for questioning?
How could her father have failed to mention that? There’s a written transcript of the interrogation in her hands and Veronica quickly skims through the words.
Questions about Logan’s alibi, why he lied, why he drove back to Neptune, about his letter…
Wait. What?
Lilly was cheating?
Logan says so, right there. With who?
Suddenly, Veronica begins to feel like she didn’t know her best friend at all.
The transcripts don’t give anymore clues and Veronica puts the videotape into the VCR player and switches on the TV. Static shows up on the screen, crackling loudly in the silence of the office, before a picture is displayed.
It takes Veronica a moment to recognize the place from this angle, but then it hits her. It’s the Echolls mansion. It’s a videotape from the security camera at the main gate and it’s filming the entrance. The date and time are shown in small white numbers in the corner of the screen - it’s the day of Lilly’s murder.
When nothing turns up on the screen, just minutes ticking by displaying that same driveway, Veronica reaches for the remote and presses forward.
Even in fast-forward, everything seems calm and peaceful at the Echolls estate. That is, until Veronica sees a figure run out the front door and head for the garage. She presses play, watching Aaron Echolls hurriedly get into one of his cars and speed down the driveway. At that same moment, a familiar car shows up, heading in the opposite direction. Veronica doesn’t need the tape to be in color to recognize the car heading into the Echolls property as Logan’s yellow Xterra. As Aaron's car continues past the camera, Logan parks outside the house and gets in through the front door.
Veronica doesn’t realize she’s been holding her breath until she sighs with relief when Logan closes the front door behind him. Somehow, watching Logan on the day of Lilly’s murder seems…surreal. Now, months after it happened, she knows which turn the story took, she knows the horrifying truth, but right here? Logan’s blissfully unaware.
Unless he didn’t just smash Lilly’s brains in, of course. But looking at the time on the screen gives Veronica her answer, no, Lilly isn’t dead yet.
Veronica presses forward again, but there’s no more sign of life, except Mr. Echolls returning home a while later.
Veronica stops the tape, ejects it from the VCR and goes back to the file about Logan. A note she didn’t notice before, in all her hurry, catches her attention and she soon realizes it’s meant to accompany the tape she just watched. It’s her father’s neat handwriting, giving a short but descriptive account of what’s on the surveillance tape. More importantly, it gives Veronica the answer to her question.
Why didn’t her father think Logan killed Lilly?
Her father, in his rational way of thinking, claims it’s “unlikely” that Logan managed to get to the Kanes estate and kill Lilly. The tape shows Logan entering his home not long before Lilly’s time of death and he isn’t seen leaving. If Logan left the house, he did so through another entrance, by foot, or other way of transportation than one of the Echolls’ cars, as none can be seen leaving the driveway. Her father also mentions that one of the maids claims they saw Logan Echolls, while cleaning, in his room, just a little while after Lilly’s time of death.
Veronica has to admit, she’s impressed by her father’s detective work. Also, she’s more than a little relieved. That sick feeling she’s been carrying around, ever since she opened her father’s safe the first time, is gone and a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. Logan did have an alibi, not the one he claimed in the first place, but he did.
She just doesn’t understand why he would lie in the first place. She guesses ‘I was home, by myself, doing nothing’ didn’t sound a good an alibi in Logan’s ears, but still, he lied.
Having her questions about Logan’s alibi answered, Veronica returns to the other wonderings his letter to Lilly awoke.
What are Logan’s feelings about her, really?
* * *
“The increasing paranoia of secrets falling into enemies hands initiated the ‘careless talk cost lives’ campaign in the 1940’s. This piece of propaganda shows the fear of spies working undercover at brothels-”
On the overhead, the picture of a pretty blonde in her armchair, three officers peaking over her shoulder, with the text “Keep mum, she’s not so dumb!” was displayed. Veronica eyed the picture, tiredly before folding her arms and lying back down on her desk.
“Sounds like our Veronica,” Logan mumbles from two desks back.
“Did you have anything to add, Mr. Echolls?” the teacher, Mr. Simmons questions.
“Sounds like our Veronica.” Logan repeats, a little louder, causing Veronica to sit up at the mentioning of her name. ’Our’ Veronica? “She’s… promiscuous-” Logan makes sure to emphasize every syllable, “-and a spy. Just like our Veronica. Careful what you say when she’s down there, guys.”
“Mr. Echolls-“ Simmons begins warningly.
“Aw, you’re just mad I’m not your Veronica,” Veronica responds and sends Logan one of her sweetest smiles.
Logan opens his mouth to comeback when the bell rings, and a horde of restless students quickly make their way towards the exit. Veronica’s grinning in triumph as she leaves Logan behind to get yet another of the teachers’ disapproving speeches.
* * *
Veronica manages to break Logan’s locker combination on the third try. She had predicted it to be Lilly’s birthday, but it turned out to be a little bit more morbid - the date Lilly died.
She doesn’t know what she expects to find, it’s just a locker after all, but she figures it can’t hurt to try. Unless she’s caught by one of the students and she becomes known, not only as Duncan’s stalker, but Logan’s too from this moment on. Which would be bad. Veronica takes one last look around the deserted halls before opening the locker.
For such a complex and complicated person like Logan, Veronica expected more from his locker. It’s impersonal, only a bunch of textbooks and lots of junk. No different from any other. Mostly filled with papers, a couple of old assignments and essays in an untidy mess at the bottom along with a few pencils.
What she learns? Logan failed the latest test in Calculus. Logan has the bad habit of chewing on his pencils.
Neither is much to go on.
Disappointed, she closes the locker, but not before leaving a small bug in the front-right corner, hidden in an old, rather nasty-looking piece of gum. Feeling more pleased with herself, Veronica leaves the school, considering her next move.
* * *
If Veronica’s life was a movie, she’s pretty sure the lead role would have put on her sexiest outfit, maybe a cheerleading uniform, and gone to school to seduce Logan. In this movie version of the life of Veronica Mars, Logan would, of course, be ogling, jaw dropped and most probably sweep movie-Veronica off her feet.
Or something close to it.
Of course, that doesn’t really work in real life, as Logan thinks she’s a slut, and trying to seduce him would probably make him think he was right about her all along.
Instead, Veronica spends her afternoon unsuccessfully trying to break Logan’s email account password. After two hours, the idea of dressing up to seduce Logan doesn’t seem as such a bad idea. Especially not when she’s listening to today’s recording of what happened at Logan’s locker, in her headphones and finally catches onto something interesting. After a long and boring silence, she picks up on people talking. Logan, Dick and someone else, probably Luke, saying something about going to the beach and watching some cheerleaders’ volleyball tournament. Veronica rolls her eyes at Dick’s description of the thing as a ‘total chickfest’.
Veronica checks the time on the clock in the top-right corner of her computer screen. Almost 4:30. She can still make it.
* * *
So, yeah, she’s feeling ridiculous. But there’s also that bubbling excitement in her stomach that won’t go away and that gives her the urge to giggle uncontrollably. Turns out, messing with Logan can be fun.
She’s jogging slowly along the beach, Backup at her side, completely unaware he’s just a bad excuse for Veronica to go and see Logan and just as happy and tail-wagging as usual.
When she passes Logan, and the girls playing volleyball, she’d be damned if he doesn’t do a double-take when he sees her. As a matter of fact, Logan misses the ball heading straight towards him when he’s staring in her direction, an unreadable expression on his face. Just seeing that ball smack him right in the head just makes everything totally worth it for Veronica.
She continues down the beach, clad in sneakers, her old - maybe a little too tight - soccer shorts and knee socks.
Oh yeah, totally worth it, Veronica agrees as she feels his eyes on her back, old memories of truths shared on Homecoming fresh on her mind.
* * *
Days pass by and Veronica feels her newly acclaimed confidence wash off her little by little, like a snowman melting in the spring sun. Doubt starts to kick in, betraying her, combined with a large dose of nervousness. And that’s just ridiculous, the new Veronica isn’t nervous, especially not around Logan.
The more time that passes, the more times she has to bring out his letter to read it again and reassure herself it’s really there, that she didn’t just make it all up. But reading it again and again only makes her interpret his words differently. Maybe his intent was something else? Maybe she got it all wrong?
She’s at loss. Veronica, the investigator, who has cracked every case her father has handed her, cannot for the life of her figure out how to find out Logan’s true intentions. Unless she asks him, straight out, of course, but the possibility of Logan answering truthfully is about as probable as Dick being valedictorian.
The thought of prodding Duncan about it crosses her mind, but that’s just desperation talking. The last time she talked to her ex-boyfriend was the day of Lilly’s murder and Duncan was so out of it, Veronica’s not even sure he remembers it now.
The way she’s been playing it now is not enough, that much is clear. She’ll never get anything out of Logan this way. Her secret smiles, games, how she emphasizes certain words knowingly when they’re doing their daily snarking, with less animosity and more amusement. It’s fun, sure, seeing Logan falter, lose his smirk if just for a second, but it’s not enough. She needs to change her game.
It’s not like she’s got anything to lose.
Well, that’s not entirely true. It would have been a lot easier if she didn’t care about what Logan thought of her. If she didn’t care about Logan. While trying to uncover Logan’s feelings, she might just expose her own heart in the process. It’s a thin line to walk, a lot at stake and she curses her feelings for betraying her. She’s spent months ignoring her own emotions, locking them safely inside her chest, far away from sight. She’s spent months feeling fucked-up and dirty for noticing him; his broad back, how he does that thing when he dips his head, how his eyes gleam when he think he’s said something really funny - just to have it all blow up in her face when she finds those stupid little words. Pointless observations that used to serve no purpose, had no expectations, no where do I go from here, suddenly grew a meaning, an agenda, along with the god forbidden thought of we could have had so much more than this.
Things could have been different.
The clock is ticking. She’s missing her shot. It’s time for Veronica to take action.
* * *
Looking up at the large white house, Veronica’s sure the building will swallow her whole. She can hear the music even from the outside, the deep rhythmic base pounding in the ground as she gets closer.
Veronica pulls her short skirt further down her legs, suddenly feeling very naked. It all begins to feel like a very bad idea. It’s just a job Veronica reminds herself. I can do this.
It wasn’t like she could tell her father why she really didn’t want this case. He seemed to think it was a good idea to let Veronica go to the party. Maybe she could have some fun while she was there? Maybe make a couple of new friends? Veronica snorts just thinking about her father’s hopeful face. She knows what “fun” is at an 09’er party, all right.
So here she is, dolled up, in a short skirt and the skimpiest top her wardrobe could muster, going in to spy on Sarah Martin, a senior at Neptune High, who should, according to her father, be at a friend from bible studies’ house for a sleepover. Not surprisingly, that turned out to be a complete lie. Sarah’s father had suspected as much and hired Mars Investigations to learn what other things Sarah had lied about and if she had broken the promise she had made to her parents; to stay away from drugs, alcohol and tobacco. If Sarah kept the promise, she would receive $5,000 on her 18th birthday. Veronica’s job? To prove that Sarah is a good girl and deserves the money, or you know, that she isn’t.
At this point, the latter seems more probable.
Veronica takes a deep breath and checks her purse. She has left her Nikon at home and goes for a small, compact digital camera instead. It will certainly be easier to take pictures of Sarah with it. Veronica goes through her things one last time. Taser? Check. Pepper spray? Check. Cell phone with dad’s number on speed dial? Check. She's ready.
Veronica turns around and gives her father, sitting in his car across the street, a small wave before opening the front door.
* * *
Once inside, Veronica tries to keep in the background. The place is packed with drunken teenagers, most of them going to Neptune High, but the ones Veronica recognizes are not in her grade but a year older, and she hopes she isn’t as well-known to them as to her own classmates.
She stays in the shadows, a peppy smile on her face, getting into the act of a party-girl.
It's easier than she thought it would be, taking pictures of Sarah. Sarah isn’t exactly drinking in secret. Veronica finds her already tipsy, grinding against some surfer guy on the dance floor. The plastic cup in her hand is obviously filled with beer, but there is no way Veronica could prove that with just a picture. She has to wait until Sarah has finished her drink and goes for a refill, which fortunately isn’t very long. With pictures of Sarah drinking and filling her cup at the keg, Veronica considers her job done. Besides, Sarah just took things upstairs with said surfer and Veronica really doesn’t want to know what's going on behind that bedroom door.
Veronica is just about to leave when she passes the upstairs living room and a figure in the dark makes her turn around. In the dimly lit room, alone on the couch, sits Logan. Veronica stands in the doorway, just looking for a good while before taking action.
Involuntarily, a plan forms in her mind - a fuzzy plan, but a plan no less - and it's too tempting to resist.
This is it. It is now or never. This is her chance to find out.
She goes in, slowly closing the door behind her. At first, she thinks he's sleeping, because he does’t seem to register that she's there. His eyes are closed and he is half-sitting, half-lying on the couch, leaning against the armrest. As Veronica comes closer and sits down next to him, so close there's not even an inch between his thighs and hers, he turns his head and narrows his eyes at her, sleepily.
He's drunk. Really drunk. Veronica can smell the alcohol on him, just from sitting beside him. That's probably why he hasn’t said something, Logan rarely keeps his mouth shut, and Veronica's surprised he hasn’t passed out. What he's doing, alone in this room, on the couch, she doesn’t know.
Veronica catches herself shaking, nervous and - although she refuses to admit it - frightened. She expects Logan to run up, shouting some new nasty insult at her, laughing any second now.
Veronica scoots closer. Their thighs are touching now. She can feel the rough material of his jeans against her naked skin where her skirt ends. She leans closer, turning to look at him, their arms touching now, too. She puts a hand on his chest.
Logan groans, closes his eyes. He’s had clearly too much to drink, and Veronica's worried he will get sick or pass out and all her plans will be ruined.
She leans in to whisper in his ear, softly.
“Logan.”
Her voice sounds foreign to her, she tries her hardest to keep it low, husky and when Logan hums in response she figures she has succeeded.
Veronica takes another deep breath, steadying herself, focusing on what she's doing. She feels cheap, clinging on Logan like this, pretty much confirming everything he thinks of her. I just need to know. Veronica tells herself silently in her head. I just need to know. Then I’ll leave.
She leans in even closer; her heart racing now and she feels Logan’s beating in sync underneath her fingertips.
“Logan,” she says again. This time he responds, his arm coming around, squeezing her shoulder, pulling her closer.
“Veronica…” he murmurs.
“Yeah…” she agrees, almost in a whisper. “It’s me. Veronica.”
“Veronica,” Logan tastes her name on his lips, hums it, a lazy smile on his face.
“I’m here.” Veronica chuckles softly, hot breath on Logan’s ear, “I’m the slut, remember?” He shakes his head dumbly, but Veronica stills him. “And you’re in love with me. That’s why you broke up with Lilly.”
She stills, pressed beside him, and turns her head to watch his reaction. His eyes are clouded with alcohol, big and glossy in the dark and his mouth slightly open. Veronica isn’t sure he actually heard her. But his hand comes up and hovers just beside her cheek, then strokes her hair, sloppily. His face comes nearer and Veronica panics, sure he's going to kiss her when he bows his head down and presses his lips on her neck.
“You. It’s always been you.” His voice is just a murmur, barely loud enough to hear, but in Veronica’s ears they resonate, echoing loudly to deafening levels.
Veronica gasps, suddenly everything becomes far too real; his hand grabs her thigh, pulling her against him until one of her legs is in between his. She freezes. Wanting to scream, feeling trapped, tears burning behind her eyes, panic grabs a hold of her and she shoves at him, scrambles off the couch.
She stands up, takes a couple of shaky breaths, swallows hard, trying to calm herself down.
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
And then she left.
>> Part 3
Author: Nemo (nemo_88)
Rating: PG-13/R?
Word count: This part: 4075
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Characters/Pairings: Logan/Veronica
Summary: There's a thin line between love and hate…
Disclaimer: I do not own Veronica Mars or any of its characters.
Author's Notes: Set sometime in the pilot/pre-series, but might include parts from s1. AU. Lilly has died, Shelly’s has happened, but Wallace hasn’t made an appearance.
This was my vm_santa gift for applebashed. Merry (belated) Christmas!
I wasn't planning on waiting so long to update, but then my whacky brain came up with more things to squeeze into this chapter and now... it's long. But long is good, right?
A huge thank you to the awesome pegm81484 for the beta. And to evie_0 for giving me endless amounts of feedback and helping me every step of the way. Should probably also mention that I'm not a native speaker. You can blame all mistakes on me.
Part 1
“Hey, Veronica.”
Veronica smiles to herself. He’s so predictable. Like clockwork. She can’t even walk past Logan in the halls without him having some new smart thing to say about her.
“Yes, Logan.” Veronica stops, and turns around, smiling at him perkily.
“The guys missed you at practice last night.”
“They did?” Veronica answers, still smiling, keeping herself calm and composed.
“Yeah, the lacrosse team. They’ve gotten used to your special treatment, you know. I talked to Jimmy, he really missed you in the shower.”
“Aw, Logan,” Veronica coos. “Don’t you know? Jimmy’s still completely hung up on you. Says he can’t let go of those nights you spent together. It’s pathetic, really. But I had to tell him. You and I both know where your feelings really belong.”
If it’s her words or the completely calm smile on her face - instead of the pretend-calm-in fact-furious smile she usually sports - that caught him off guard, Veronica can’t be sure. But there he is, gaping like a goldfish.
“Say hi to Jimmy for me, will you?” Veronica adds before turning around and continuing down the school halls.
* * *
She’s trying to look at Logan as a case. If he was, the standard searches certainly wouldn’t be enough. She would have to build up a profile. Do some surveillance. Talk to his friends, past girlfriends, all those things Veronica has absolutely no possibility of doing without adding stalker to her resume.
But there’s one more thing Veronica needs to worry about. Logan’s alibi for Lilly’s murder, or rather lack thereof. She needs to confirm, or hopefully contradict, her fears that Logan wasn’t in Mexico like he told the police.
A quick phone call to the border patrol, pretending to be Keith Mars’ assistant, and 20 minutes later she has proof of her worst fears. Logan crossed the border at 8:57 AM on the day Lilly was killed.
It’s a punch in the gut, and it’s leaving its aftermath, a fucking pressing, torturous pain, slowly spreading from her abdomen, making it harder to breathe. She’s feeling dizzy, trying to rationally go over the facts in her head one more time.
Her father had gone after Jake Kane. Abel Koontz had been arrested. But her dad never really believed Koontz was the killer, did he? He had never given up the thought that it was someone else. Could Logan really be that someone?
She just couldn’t believe it. She believed Logan could be many things, but killer wasn’t one of them. He was a jackass, an obnoxious jerk; self-centered and arrogant these days, but back when Lilly was alive? He was different. He still had that bite to his tone, that sarcasm that easily laced with his humor, but he was never mean. Veronica couldn’t possibly imagine him ever being mean to Lilly. She was the one with the upper-hand in their relationship, it was always Logan that came crawling back to her.
Maybe that’s why he killed her.
No, that was just ridiculous. He was the one who broke up with Lilly, wasn’t he? He was the one who left the letter, the one who didn’t have feelings for his girlfriend anymore.
Maybe Lilly wouldn’t have it, maybe they fought and it was an accident.
It too, seemed unlikely. Veronica couldn’t imagine Logan ever using force on his girlfriend; he always treated Lilly so well, like precious porcelain, even when other people looked at her like the school slut.
But her father must have known about Logan’s lack of alibi, right? He was the one who wrote the date on that copy of Logan’s letter. Surely, her father hadn’t missed such a great detail. The question she should be asking herself wasn’t if Logan murdered Lilly or not, it was why didn’t her father think Logan killed Lilly?
Veronica knew immediately that she needed to get into her father’s safe once again.
* * *
She gets the chance when Keith tells her he needs to lend Cliff some advice down at the Sheriff’s department. Veronica rolls her eyes, yes, she can be left alone in the office for half an hour.
Veronica wastes no time, five minutes later she’s once again going through her father files. To her absolute horror, she finds one marked ‘Logan’ that she didn’t see before. Along with it, is a videotape.
Veronica rips open the file, anxiously, while simultaneously plugging in the VCR. She skims through the pages, finding the same evidence she discovered this afternoon; proof of Logan’s car crossing the border from Mexico to the States on that October morning. But there’s more…
Logan was in for questioning?
How could her father have failed to mention that? There’s a written transcript of the interrogation in her hands and Veronica quickly skims through the words.
Questions about Logan’s alibi, why he lied, why he drove back to Neptune, about his letter…
Wait. What?
Lilly was cheating?
Logan says so, right there. With who?
Suddenly, Veronica begins to feel like she didn’t know her best friend at all.
The transcripts don’t give anymore clues and Veronica puts the videotape into the VCR player and switches on the TV. Static shows up on the screen, crackling loudly in the silence of the office, before a picture is displayed.
It takes Veronica a moment to recognize the place from this angle, but then it hits her. It’s the Echolls mansion. It’s a videotape from the security camera at the main gate and it’s filming the entrance. The date and time are shown in small white numbers in the corner of the screen - it’s the day of Lilly’s murder.
When nothing turns up on the screen, just minutes ticking by displaying that same driveway, Veronica reaches for the remote and presses forward.
Even in fast-forward, everything seems calm and peaceful at the Echolls estate. That is, until Veronica sees a figure run out the front door and head for the garage. She presses play, watching Aaron Echolls hurriedly get into one of his cars and speed down the driveway. At that same moment, a familiar car shows up, heading in the opposite direction. Veronica doesn’t need the tape to be in color to recognize the car heading into the Echolls property as Logan’s yellow Xterra. As Aaron's car continues past the camera, Logan parks outside the house and gets in through the front door.
Veronica doesn’t realize she’s been holding her breath until she sighs with relief when Logan closes the front door behind him. Somehow, watching Logan on the day of Lilly’s murder seems…surreal. Now, months after it happened, she knows which turn the story took, she knows the horrifying truth, but right here? Logan’s blissfully unaware.
Unless he didn’t just smash Lilly’s brains in, of course. But looking at the time on the screen gives Veronica her answer, no, Lilly isn’t dead yet.
Veronica presses forward again, but there’s no more sign of life, except Mr. Echolls returning home a while later.
Veronica stops the tape, ejects it from the VCR and goes back to the file about Logan. A note she didn’t notice before, in all her hurry, catches her attention and she soon realizes it’s meant to accompany the tape she just watched. It’s her father’s neat handwriting, giving a short but descriptive account of what’s on the surveillance tape. More importantly, it gives Veronica the answer to her question.
Why didn’t her father think Logan killed Lilly?
Her father, in his rational way of thinking, claims it’s “unlikely” that Logan managed to get to the Kanes estate and kill Lilly. The tape shows Logan entering his home not long before Lilly’s time of death and he isn’t seen leaving. If Logan left the house, he did so through another entrance, by foot, or other way of transportation than one of the Echolls’ cars, as none can be seen leaving the driveway. Her father also mentions that one of the maids claims they saw Logan Echolls, while cleaning, in his room, just a little while after Lilly’s time of death.
Veronica has to admit, she’s impressed by her father’s detective work. Also, she’s more than a little relieved. That sick feeling she’s been carrying around, ever since she opened her father’s safe the first time, is gone and a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. Logan did have an alibi, not the one he claimed in the first place, but he did.
She just doesn’t understand why he would lie in the first place. She guesses ‘I was home, by myself, doing nothing’ didn’t sound a good an alibi in Logan’s ears, but still, he lied.
Having her questions about Logan’s alibi answered, Veronica returns to the other wonderings his letter to Lilly awoke.
What are Logan’s feelings about her, really?
* * *
“The increasing paranoia of secrets falling into enemies hands initiated the ‘careless talk cost lives’ campaign in the 1940’s. This piece of propaganda shows the fear of spies working undercover at brothels-”
On the overhead, the picture of a pretty blonde in her armchair, three officers peaking over her shoulder, with the text “Keep mum, she’s not so dumb!” was displayed. Veronica eyed the picture, tiredly before folding her arms and lying back down on her desk.
“Sounds like our Veronica,” Logan mumbles from two desks back.
“Did you have anything to add, Mr. Echolls?” the teacher, Mr. Simmons questions.
“Sounds like our Veronica.” Logan repeats, a little louder, causing Veronica to sit up at the mentioning of her name. ’Our’ Veronica? “She’s… promiscuous-” Logan makes sure to emphasize every syllable, “-and a spy. Just like our Veronica. Careful what you say when she’s down there, guys.”
“Mr. Echolls-“ Simmons begins warningly.
“Aw, you’re just mad I’m not your Veronica,” Veronica responds and sends Logan one of her sweetest smiles.
Logan opens his mouth to comeback when the bell rings, and a horde of restless students quickly make their way towards the exit. Veronica’s grinning in triumph as she leaves Logan behind to get yet another of the teachers’ disapproving speeches.
* * *
Veronica manages to break Logan’s locker combination on the third try. She had predicted it to be Lilly’s birthday, but it turned out to be a little bit more morbid - the date Lilly died.
She doesn’t know what she expects to find, it’s just a locker after all, but she figures it can’t hurt to try. Unless she’s caught by one of the students and she becomes known, not only as Duncan’s stalker, but Logan’s too from this moment on. Which would be bad. Veronica takes one last look around the deserted halls before opening the locker.
For such a complex and complicated person like Logan, Veronica expected more from his locker. It’s impersonal, only a bunch of textbooks and lots of junk. No different from any other. Mostly filled with papers, a couple of old assignments and essays in an untidy mess at the bottom along with a few pencils.
What she learns? Logan failed the latest test in Calculus. Logan has the bad habit of chewing on his pencils.
Neither is much to go on.
Disappointed, she closes the locker, but not before leaving a small bug in the front-right corner, hidden in an old, rather nasty-looking piece of gum. Feeling more pleased with herself, Veronica leaves the school, considering her next move.
* * *
If Veronica’s life was a movie, she’s pretty sure the lead role would have put on her sexiest outfit, maybe a cheerleading uniform, and gone to school to seduce Logan. In this movie version of the life of Veronica Mars, Logan would, of course, be ogling, jaw dropped and most probably sweep movie-Veronica off her feet.
Or something close to it.
Of course, that doesn’t really work in real life, as Logan thinks she’s a slut, and trying to seduce him would probably make him think he was right about her all along.
Instead, Veronica spends her afternoon unsuccessfully trying to break Logan’s email account password. After two hours, the idea of dressing up to seduce Logan doesn’t seem as such a bad idea. Especially not when she’s listening to today’s recording of what happened at Logan’s locker, in her headphones and finally catches onto something interesting. After a long and boring silence, she picks up on people talking. Logan, Dick and someone else, probably Luke, saying something about going to the beach and watching some cheerleaders’ volleyball tournament. Veronica rolls her eyes at Dick’s description of the thing as a ‘total chickfest’.
Veronica checks the time on the clock in the top-right corner of her computer screen. Almost 4:30. She can still make it.
* * *
So, yeah, she’s feeling ridiculous. But there’s also that bubbling excitement in her stomach that won’t go away and that gives her the urge to giggle uncontrollably. Turns out, messing with Logan can be fun.
She’s jogging slowly along the beach, Backup at her side, completely unaware he’s just a bad excuse for Veronica to go and see Logan and just as happy and tail-wagging as usual.
When she passes Logan, and the girls playing volleyball, she’d be damned if he doesn’t do a double-take when he sees her. As a matter of fact, Logan misses the ball heading straight towards him when he’s staring in her direction, an unreadable expression on his face. Just seeing that ball smack him right in the head just makes everything totally worth it for Veronica.
She continues down the beach, clad in sneakers, her old - maybe a little too tight - soccer shorts and knee socks.
Oh yeah, totally worth it, Veronica agrees as she feels his eyes on her back, old memories of truths shared on Homecoming fresh on her mind.
* * *
Days pass by and Veronica feels her newly acclaimed confidence wash off her little by little, like a snowman melting in the spring sun. Doubt starts to kick in, betraying her, combined with a large dose of nervousness. And that’s just ridiculous, the new Veronica isn’t nervous, especially not around Logan.
The more time that passes, the more times she has to bring out his letter to read it again and reassure herself it’s really there, that she didn’t just make it all up. But reading it again and again only makes her interpret his words differently. Maybe his intent was something else? Maybe she got it all wrong?
She’s at loss. Veronica, the investigator, who has cracked every case her father has handed her, cannot for the life of her figure out how to find out Logan’s true intentions. Unless she asks him, straight out, of course, but the possibility of Logan answering truthfully is about as probable as Dick being valedictorian.
The thought of prodding Duncan about it crosses her mind, but that’s just desperation talking. The last time she talked to her ex-boyfriend was the day of Lilly’s murder and Duncan was so out of it, Veronica’s not even sure he remembers it now.
The way she’s been playing it now is not enough, that much is clear. She’ll never get anything out of Logan this way. Her secret smiles, games, how she emphasizes certain words knowingly when they’re doing their daily snarking, with less animosity and more amusement. It’s fun, sure, seeing Logan falter, lose his smirk if just for a second, but it’s not enough. She needs to change her game.
It’s not like she’s got anything to lose.
Well, that’s not entirely true. It would have been a lot easier if she didn’t care about what Logan thought of her. If she didn’t care about Logan. While trying to uncover Logan’s feelings, she might just expose her own heart in the process. It’s a thin line to walk, a lot at stake and she curses her feelings for betraying her. She’s spent months ignoring her own emotions, locking them safely inside her chest, far away from sight. She’s spent months feeling fucked-up and dirty for noticing him; his broad back, how he does that thing when he dips his head, how his eyes gleam when he think he’s said something really funny - just to have it all blow up in her face when she finds those stupid little words. Pointless observations that used to serve no purpose, had no expectations, no where do I go from here, suddenly grew a meaning, an agenda, along with the god forbidden thought of we could have had so much more than this.
Things could have been different.
The clock is ticking. She’s missing her shot. It’s time for Veronica to take action.
* * *
Looking up at the large white house, Veronica’s sure the building will swallow her whole. She can hear the music even from the outside, the deep rhythmic base pounding in the ground as she gets closer.
Veronica pulls her short skirt further down her legs, suddenly feeling very naked. It all begins to feel like a very bad idea. It’s just a job Veronica reminds herself. I can do this.
It wasn’t like she could tell her father why she really didn’t want this case. He seemed to think it was a good idea to let Veronica go to the party. Maybe she could have some fun while she was there? Maybe make a couple of new friends? Veronica snorts just thinking about her father’s hopeful face. She knows what “fun” is at an 09’er party, all right.
So here she is, dolled up, in a short skirt and the skimpiest top her wardrobe could muster, going in to spy on Sarah Martin, a senior at Neptune High, who should, according to her father, be at a friend from bible studies’ house for a sleepover. Not surprisingly, that turned out to be a complete lie. Sarah’s father had suspected as much and hired Mars Investigations to learn what other things Sarah had lied about and if she had broken the promise she had made to her parents; to stay away from drugs, alcohol and tobacco. If Sarah kept the promise, she would receive $5,000 on her 18th birthday. Veronica’s job? To prove that Sarah is a good girl and deserves the money, or you know, that she isn’t.
At this point, the latter seems more probable.
Veronica takes a deep breath and checks her purse. She has left her Nikon at home and goes for a small, compact digital camera instead. It will certainly be easier to take pictures of Sarah with it. Veronica goes through her things one last time. Taser? Check. Pepper spray? Check. Cell phone with dad’s number on speed dial? Check. She's ready.
Veronica turns around and gives her father, sitting in his car across the street, a small wave before opening the front door.
* * *
Once inside, Veronica tries to keep in the background. The place is packed with drunken teenagers, most of them going to Neptune High, but the ones Veronica recognizes are not in her grade but a year older, and she hopes she isn’t as well-known to them as to her own classmates.
She stays in the shadows, a peppy smile on her face, getting into the act of a party-girl.
It's easier than she thought it would be, taking pictures of Sarah. Sarah isn’t exactly drinking in secret. Veronica finds her already tipsy, grinding against some surfer guy on the dance floor. The plastic cup in her hand is obviously filled with beer, but there is no way Veronica could prove that with just a picture. She has to wait until Sarah has finished her drink and goes for a refill, which fortunately isn’t very long. With pictures of Sarah drinking and filling her cup at the keg, Veronica considers her job done. Besides, Sarah just took things upstairs with said surfer and Veronica really doesn’t want to know what's going on behind that bedroom door.
Veronica is just about to leave when she passes the upstairs living room and a figure in the dark makes her turn around. In the dimly lit room, alone on the couch, sits Logan. Veronica stands in the doorway, just looking for a good while before taking action.
Involuntarily, a plan forms in her mind - a fuzzy plan, but a plan no less - and it's too tempting to resist.
This is it. It is now or never. This is her chance to find out.
She goes in, slowly closing the door behind her. At first, she thinks he's sleeping, because he does’t seem to register that she's there. His eyes are closed and he is half-sitting, half-lying on the couch, leaning against the armrest. As Veronica comes closer and sits down next to him, so close there's not even an inch between his thighs and hers, he turns his head and narrows his eyes at her, sleepily.
He's drunk. Really drunk. Veronica can smell the alcohol on him, just from sitting beside him. That's probably why he hasn’t said something, Logan rarely keeps his mouth shut, and Veronica's surprised he hasn’t passed out. What he's doing, alone in this room, on the couch, she doesn’t know.
Veronica catches herself shaking, nervous and - although she refuses to admit it - frightened. She expects Logan to run up, shouting some new nasty insult at her, laughing any second now.
Veronica scoots closer. Their thighs are touching now. She can feel the rough material of his jeans against her naked skin where her skirt ends. She leans closer, turning to look at him, their arms touching now, too. She puts a hand on his chest.
Logan groans, closes his eyes. He’s had clearly too much to drink, and Veronica's worried he will get sick or pass out and all her plans will be ruined.
She leans in to whisper in his ear, softly.
“Logan.”
Her voice sounds foreign to her, she tries her hardest to keep it low, husky and when Logan hums in response she figures she has succeeded.
Veronica takes another deep breath, steadying herself, focusing on what she's doing. She feels cheap, clinging on Logan like this, pretty much confirming everything he thinks of her. I just need to know. Veronica tells herself silently in her head. I just need to know. Then I’ll leave.
She leans in even closer; her heart racing now and she feels Logan’s beating in sync underneath her fingertips.
“Logan,” she says again. This time he responds, his arm coming around, squeezing her shoulder, pulling her closer.
“Veronica…” he murmurs.
“Yeah…” she agrees, almost in a whisper. “It’s me. Veronica.”
“Veronica,” Logan tastes her name on his lips, hums it, a lazy smile on his face.
“I’m here.” Veronica chuckles softly, hot breath on Logan’s ear, “I’m the slut, remember?” He shakes his head dumbly, but Veronica stills him. “And you’re in love with me. That’s why you broke up with Lilly.”
She stills, pressed beside him, and turns her head to watch his reaction. His eyes are clouded with alcohol, big and glossy in the dark and his mouth slightly open. Veronica isn’t sure he actually heard her. But his hand comes up and hovers just beside her cheek, then strokes her hair, sloppily. His face comes nearer and Veronica panics, sure he's going to kiss her when he bows his head down and presses his lips on her neck.
“You. It’s always been you.” His voice is just a murmur, barely loud enough to hear, but in Veronica’s ears they resonate, echoing loudly to deafening levels.
Veronica gasps, suddenly everything becomes far too real; his hand grabs her thigh, pulling her against him until one of her legs is in between his. She freezes. Wanting to scream, feeling trapped, tears burning behind her eyes, panic grabs a hold of her and she shoves at him, scrambles off the couch.
She stands up, takes a couple of shaky breaths, swallows hard, trying to calm herself down.
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
And then she left.
>> Part 3