Hermione's parentsterri_testingJanuary 1 2011, 23:44:49 UTC
"they'd never feel the pain of losing her"? We actually don't know that. If fact there's some reason to infer the reverse. It seems that Obliviated memories are repressed, made unavailable to conscious access, not removed--otherwise Voldemort couldn't have recovered Bertha's Obliviated memories. And repressed memories of important events can poison a person's later life.... So it's quite possible that the Wilkins know something is missing in their life, without any way of accessing what it is.
Or healing from a loss they don't remember.
Let's put it this way--if Hermione had sent the Wilkins to Australia with an impeccably-crafted false identity and firm orders NOT to try to contact her because that would get them AND her killed (the latter being perhaps the worst threat), then if she never turned up again the Wilkins could make the correct inferences and grieve properly. (Especially given the unsettling, and to others-inexplicable, bad news from Britain.) As it is, they may be left only with an unaccountable sense of loss.
Re: Hermione's parentsdianaprallonJanuary 2 2011, 00:34:25 UTC
Not the same thing. Living with a loss you can't identify isn't the same thing as KNOWING your daughter is dead -- no matter how you look at it, the second is much worse. I'm not saying they won't suffer or miss her, only that they won't feel the pain of loosing -Hermione-, particularly Hermione, which is something different even from the idea of 'daughter.'
Losing -Hermione-terri_testingJanuary 2 2011, 17:13:47 UTC
Nods, okay, yes. Or rather, maybe--we know the memories are there, just not accessible, so there might be bleed-through....
But my own experience of really bad emotional pain is that, for me, it helps to be able to name it. To talk about it, sometimes, but even if not to know what's going on. Times when I've pushed things down (I've never actually repressed memories but I've come pretty close), they stayed there, hurting, until I let them back up and dealt with them.
If I had an inexplicable but overwhelming sense of loss, thinking I was crazy for caring so much about nothing at all wouldn't help....
See, Hermione assumed if they didn't remember their loss they couldn't grieve over it. I'm not so sure that's true--or that if it's true one charm would accomplish it.
Anyhow, this discussion inspired a drabble, "Wendell Wilkins." If you'd like to read it, here it is....
Or healing from a loss they don't remember.
Let's put it this way--if Hermione had sent the Wilkins to Australia with an impeccably-crafted false identity and firm orders NOT to try to contact her because that would get them AND her killed (the latter being perhaps the worst threat), then if she never turned up again the Wilkins could make the correct inferences and grieve properly. (Especially given the unsettling, and to others-inexplicable, bad news from Britain.) As it is, they may be left only with an unaccountable sense of loss.
And no way at all to come to terms with it.
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But my own experience of really bad emotional pain is that, for me, it helps to be able to name it. To talk about it, sometimes, but even if not to know what's going on. Times when I've pushed things down (I've never actually repressed memories but I've come pretty close), they stayed there, hurting, until I let them back up and dealt with them.
If I had an inexplicable but overwhelming sense of loss, thinking I was crazy for caring so much about nothing at all wouldn't help....
See, Hermione assumed if they didn't remember their loss they couldn't grieve over it. I'm not so sure that's true--or that if it's true one charm would accomplish it.
Anyhow, this discussion inspired a drabble, "Wendell Wilkins." If you'd like to read it, here it is....
http://terri-testing.livejournal.com/38745.html
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