2x36 - Best plot twist ever! Don’t argue with me! I mean it, I’m cranky today!
2x36 - Best plot twist ever! Don’t argue with me! I mean it, I’m cranky today!
We fade in from „The Dream must stay alive“, which is always a good start, to a burning fire in front of the mall. Daytime. This episode is already so good! What do you think the fire means? I think it has a different meaning for each episode. Today: olympic metaphor. Yes, that makes sense. Just go with it, okay?
Inside, Bray is comforting a tearful Salene. I keep forgetting her hair was that beautiful, and I really don’t know why. Bray’s hair is also okay, which is a big thing for him. You’ve seen season 3, you know what I mean.
Oh, by the way, and this isn’t the important thing about this scene, because it’s all about the hair and Danni’s issues, but they’re talking about Ryan. Salene’s worried about him. He’s out there with Ellie, while the Chosen are around, or maybe they are not. Nobody knows, right, Trudy? Wait, why is nobody worried about Ellie? Isn’t Ryan more capable of self-defense? He’s had one whole fight training with Lex in season 1!
The whole scene with Bray being supportive and calming down a crying Salene is very sweet, until she starts talking about how Ryan is not her type, and he actually asks, because, duh, he’s Broblivious (Brayblivious? Yes, that’s better): “”So what’s your type?” Did you feel like ramming your head onto your desk and then yell at him? Because I do.
Aaaand, cue Danni. Strolling in to casually be a bitch at the crying girl and her boyfriend, because as we’ve learned from Trudy in season 1, he SAT NEXT TO HER and also HE WAS BREATHING THE SAME AIR and this time there was TOUCHING! That’s a court 1 offense. Totally. Salene, still tearful, explains how she’s worried for Ryan, and Danni’s all “Right, bitch. Whatever you say. Don’t lie, you were totally planning to seduce my boyfriend next episode!” And before Sal can tell her that it will be six more episodes until that happens, Bray jumps in to defend her.
Salene runs off, totally crushed and down, while Danni yells after her, at the top of her lungs: “Come anywhere near Bray or Brady and I’ll scratch your fucking eyes out!”, which upsets Brayblivious, even though he’s too confused trying to make out where he’s ever heard that before, so his newest psycho stalker girlfriend continues to be pissed and creepily possessive: “I don’t know, was it necessary? Was it? WAS IT?? Asshole! Why don’t you just forget it! You the worst boyfriend ever! And by the way, Ebony showed me that baby photo and the movie clip of you and her by the pool! I hate you!!” She’s so reasonable, isn’t she?
Meanwhile, in sane town (cafeteria), where Bray’s mind-destructive rip-off-your-clothes-and-fall-for-me hormones have not filled the air yet, Alice and Lex are being the best buddy cop team since Jack and Dal were single and cute. Lex makes an important announcement over his current... and Trudy has this subtle, ice-cold stare, which is oddly distracting. Like a porcelain doll. With lots of eye shadow. What’s up with that? It couldn’t be... evil eyeshadow? Nooo, that would be too simple. Ebony beats her off course, wearing red, glittery fuck-me-sideways eye make-up, because she’s always more evil. Don’t try to compete, it’s just gonna end in tears and burning books. And then what will you do if it’s Sunday afternoon and raining outside?
Trudy gives Lex a vocal applause, then high fives her imaginary friends. And people keep wondering why the guy in the white coat took her away! Nobody cares about her repressed cuckoo-evil or her gender-switched baby, though, because, hello, Ebony’s in the room. And making a lot of fuss over what Lex is incapable of.
She has a point, but wasn’t this all about Alice? Who sobered Lex up, can keep him on track and is very much up to the challenge? Never mind, it’s the Ebony-Lex-Ego mash up. Butting heads, cage sex and arrogant condecension, here we go again.
Market space: Lex and Alice hold a nice strict-parent speech about gambling to two random dudes. Then they high five and giggle excitedly over abusing their power to blackmail the wrongdoers. Long live capitalism! In really colourful clothes! (Yeah, I haven’t really watched TT in a while...)
Trudy is weirdly touching Cloe and Patsy’s hair in her room, without doing anything about it. Don’t ask. It’s an Inception thing. Now I’ve only watched half the movie, so it makes sense to me, but anyway, Ebony interrupts her and they have an evil-eye-shadow bitch fight.
They send out the children to play and start talking about blackmail, kidnapping, that time in the woods, and Bray, because, pheromones. Is everyone in love with him now? Is Lex? Please, say he is!
Best line of the day: Trudy: “I’ve CHOSEN to make it my business.” The foreshadowing! The suspense! The eye shadow! It’s glorious! (Also a nice parallel to when Ebony chose Bray in high school and manipulated everyone’s lifes so he would forget about Trudy.)
Ebony tries to get the upper hand by questioning how Trudy and her gender swapped Brady escaped from the Chosen. Man, she’s good! It doesn’t bring the result she hoped for though, whatever that was, since Trudy and her inner evil genius just shut down, so she leaves, in the middle of the conversation, without a real solution or anything. Maybe she’ll go get a plastic knife and STAB Trudy! That’d be awesome!
Meanwhile: Jack plays around with some techincal devices and plugs. It doesn’t work, because there’s been no electricity for nine months plus however old Brady is. It still surprises him and Dal - maybe their collective brainpower is overestimated? Call it a hunch.
Dal tries to make the absence of electricity (again! Over a year!) about Ellie, which exhausts Jack to no end. (Me too, Jack, me too.) Oh, wait, two whole people are worried about Ellie! Ironically, they don’t give a shit about Ryan being in danger. Because Salene already does? Something is seriously wrong with this group.
Am I the only one who loves that Ellie wants to track the Chosen down and interview the Guardian for her fashion & spiritual sections? Come on, who wouldn’t wanna read that? She’s full of energy, Ryan is whiney and tired. But at least they go on.
Ebony creeps around outside Danni’s court room. No idea why she’s allowed to judge over people, but whatever.
Of course, it’s about Brayblivious and their glorious past together, what else? A little subtle undermining, and Ebony’s already reaching for that baby photo that she drew little hearts and “Brayblivious + Ebs 4eva” on, when she realizes that Danni is so obsessed with Bray that it makes Salene seem sane! Of course she and Trudy are still fighting over who loves him the most, hence the eyeshadow, and Ebony is determined to win the race: “Me and Bray, we go back a long way! Like, from his house to school, I followed him everyday with my Bray-journal and a photo camera on the off-chance that he’d ever hold a baby... for no reason at all! There’s more to Bray and I than you will ever know - there’s also more to us than he knows, so go ask him, he won’t tell you a thing! He’ll pretend like he doesn’t know what I was just talking about! Does that make you suspicious? Does it? Huh?”
Like I said. Evil eye shadow = evil genius.
For some reason Ebony storming out of there to make a new entry into her Bray-observation journal and then stare in the mirror and apply more red eye shadow, leads to Lex and Tai San walking out of two different rooms to have lots of cute chemistry and a talk about Alice. Lex pretends to be all cutesy and hits on her, making the mistake of telling a girl he’s already boned “You have no idea how good I am”, in a tone that’s not even a double entendre, it’s pure coming-on-to-her. “Oh, but I do, Lex.” She replies. Heh. Snappy. Don’t you know, Lex, a woman never forgets. Lex continues to not woe her by comparing her best friend to a dog, so she stomps her foot and runs off. To angrily meditate somewhere, probably.
Trudy is still busy with Patsy’s hair, because Inception is a tricky thing, didn’t you know. Dal joins them to invite them to the farm. Because surely Trudy would enjoy THAT. Um, has he met her? She’s like “Grand idea, ma dames. Let’s enjoy a jolly afternoon by the barn, won’t we? It will be de-light-ful! Oh, I’m sure there’ll be no Chosen around, why, did you see someone acting suspiciously? Other than me, that is?” And then she rounds it up by the greatest logical fallacy since power and chaos: “I’m sure if it was dangerous to go to the farm, Dal wouldn’t have suggested it!” Dal. The guy who just blamed the absence of electricity on Ellie being in danger. Who got circled by the Chosen in the same barn he’s taking them to, just weeks ago. That Dal.
Some time later, Ebony tells Bray, Trudy, fake Brady, Lex and Alice how she’ll be moving out of the house into the hotel. For tactical reasons. And to sort her Bray-related poetry chronologically and decide which ones to plaster his room with before she gently kills him, so he can never love anyone else more than her ever again. Only Trudy’s supportive (in a way that highlights her eye shadow, which is brilliant). She totally can relate to Ebony’s plans, also, one down - two to go: only Danni and Salene will be between her and Bray now. Isn’t it great?
Lex and Alice have cereal, or something else in tiny colourful plastic cups, sitting on his bed and agreeing that this is the best thing ever. Which it’s not, because I can SEE that those cups are empty. I can even see that their spoons are empty! But that’s not the point. It’s clearly about how they’re connecting, Lex and his “doggy”, because talking about how much you miss food when you’re pretending to eat is sort of useless. Just go to the cafeteria where there IS food and stop the charade! You’re both not five, and Sasha is nowhere around, so there’s no excuse for this nonsensory.
They go on to be stupid when Lex says his best quality are his people skills. By which he means mobbing people out of the Mall, or you know, just mobbing people in general. And he’s right, he’s brilliant at that: Paul, Ebony, Bray (almost), and for the just-bullying part: everyone.
Bray runs after a sulking Amber... sorry, Danni, because it’s a Tuesday. It’s what he does now. Every single girl is in love with him, so it totally makes sense that he would stick with the one who doesn’t trust him and treats him like a lying cheater... for a masochist, that is.
She whines (or says, I’m never sure with her voice) “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” and I’ve never agreed with her more. Is there something irresistible and wonderous about Danni that I don’t see? Is it ACTUAL masochism? Or is it just the old “the script said so” excuse? Danni yells a whole lot about how she doesn’t care what Ebony does, where she lives, who she fucks, and Bray doesn’t even get where this is coming from. Because he’s Brayblivious, how is he supposed to notice Ebony and her camera between all his other stalkers? He’s been buying the excuse “What? Me - following you? Nonsense, I live here, dummy!” for two seasons now, so why change. Oh, right, he’s dating Othella.
“You really don’t get it, do you?”, Othella spits in his face and I’m starting to think I don’t either. What’s her problem? Besides belonging in a closed facility, i mean. Her explanation: “You once danced with Ebony when I refused to dance with you, then you sat at Salene’s side and breathed the same air as her and then you talked to Ebony. Also, you were in the same room together - don’t lie, I saw you!”
Bray’s like, “Everyone saw us, it’s the cafeteria, we were having a group discussion.” But Danni’s not having it. Because she’s right and he’s so MEAN, because can’t he just tell her how he’s fucking every other girl in the Mall, so we can end this bullshit now and never have a scene like this again? Please, Bray. Just do it. No? Moron!
Instead, he tells her how he dated Ebony for a week before the virus, and how did she not know that? She’s been in the Mall for at least half a year now, doesn’t she ever talk to people? “Nothing that mattered then matters now”, he ends, and, interesting philosophy Bray. He sort of has a point, unless you go with “And what’s with your niece? She was conceived then!” But it’ll only give him the excuse that A) she wasn’t born then and B) what niece, that’s a boy with Trudy! Either way, Danni’s going with option C: “Shut up, asshole! I hate you for being the guy every girl’s stalking, it makes you totally untrustworthy! And you’re LIVING with all of them!”
Bray: “Not Ebony, she’s moving out.”
Danni: “Ah, you just keep hiding things from me, you liar! You’ve proven to be completely untrustworthy, because in my imagination you cheated on me like five times today!” Which, he swears, he doesn’t remember that, but she doesn’t care, because she wants the truth. And by the truth she means, she wants him to admit to fictional affairs and non-existing feelings for other girls, so: she either wants him to lie, or not talk to another girl ever again. His choice.
At the farm, Trudy is interrupted from staring creepily into space, when Dal comes up: “Erm, issue: Are you planing to lift a finger today or not.” Trudy awesomely, litterally goes: “I don’t think so! I didn’t come out here to plan my hands dirty.” No, really. That’s litterally her answer.
Bray, to prove to everyone that he doesn’t have an affair with Ebony, yells around in the cafeteria how he doesn’t know Ebony, doesn’t trust her, in fact, he’s not even sure he ever even met her. Alice and Lex are still fake-eating and fake-drinking, and they still suck at it. Just this moment, Ebony walks in, quickly hiding her camera behind her back. No, that’s not a coincidence, how do you think she’s going to fill that Bray shrine, it's a WHOLE HOTEL after all.
Ebony: “There’s just one more thing I gotta do before I go.” Girl needs more Bray pictures before moving out. Obviously.
Bray runs at Ebony, slams her against the wall and torture-tickles her for a few minutes, then they make out (Because they’re having an affair now, keep up!) and THEN he’s like: “Where does Danni get her crazy from?” Oh boy. Don't we all wonder.
Ebony rolls her eyes and starts whistling innocently, so they get freaky on the kitchen counter, before Bray bitches at her for spreading lies about him, which, as she cheerily informs him, she won’t stop, because it’s too much fun, so deal with it, bitch.
Am I just imagining it, or has she put on even more evil eye shadow?
At the farm, noone is being productive in any way. Dal’s pretending to for like 3 seconds flat, Cloe and Patsy are playing with their dog and Trudy is busy with holding her mute, gender-switched baby and having thought-conversations with Zoot, Elvis, Sylvia Plaath...
Which leads to the question: Why doesn’t Dawn just kick out all those useless city folks and take over? What? Oh, right, she’s busy with the cycles of the earth and burning living butterflies over pentagramms of blood. Also, it’s always full moon, so of course she needs so sacrifice a goat every night, which takes a lot of preparation. (And people keep asking why I ship her with Moz... come on, they’re so full of crazy, they’re made for each other! And they don’t even need a lot eye-shadow for it!)
The next scene is sort of pointless, but here’s the important part: Trudy is showing her repressed craziness and Dal and Cloe literally totally look like siblings. I’m not kidding. They could be twins, even though he’s supposed to be 2-3 years older than her.
Not to be outdone by Loony-Trudy, Ebony’s filling the whole cafeteria with crazy, demanding to take Jack with her: “I need his know-how!”
Because she wants to print out her Bray pictures in poster size, and how is she supposed to know how that’s done? Bray casually pretends like he didn’t bone her and how he gives a shit about who Jack works for, but it’s all an elaborate plan to get all the people out of the mall, so he can have some alone time with Lex. I’m assuming. Really, I’m not making this up: They sit next to each other. That’s like an open confession!
Then he totally ruins his plan by telling everyone how he plans to move in with Ebony, into her Bray-photo wallpaper covered hotel. As soon as he’s done boning Lex that is. It makes sense, if you only think like Danni. Try it, it’s fun! Like this: Bray just put his hand on Jack’s shoulder, so obviously this means that they’re gently kissing every Saturday before lunch. See. Makes complete sense. Rationality, people. Then he sits next to Lex AGAIN and they lean in closely to have some more eye sex. It’s glorious.
Tai San has finally found Alice, after looking for her for the whole day. Where has she been looking? Or does angry meditation last that long? Anyway, she’s there to carefully, respectfully let Alice know that Lex is a shallow bastard and doesn’t want to bone plus sized girls. Alice ignores this, because Lex once saved her life after totally insulting her a couple of times, also, he made her his lackey: true love. The whole him/Bray thing she’s cool with, because she likes to watch them spooning after.
Danni walks up to Salene, who runs away from her, which, smart move, Sal. Teach Bray that, will you?
Apparently she hasn’t, because he runs along, licks his horrible girlfriend's feet and begs her to talk about all the things that didn’t happen. Because... I’m out. I have no idea. Maybe the sex is THAT good. Maybe he likes hearing her voice? No, it’s definitely the sex.
Meanwhile, one of Bray’s stalkers (Salene) is watching them through the grill, all teary-eyed and Ryan-who?
At the farm, Trudy’s STILL Inceptioning Patsy’s hair, so Cloe starts to get suspicious. Cloe’s like “There’s something wrong! We can’t do this, we’re siblings!” - No actually, she’s noticed something wrong about Trudy. Finally! Someone! “It’s like she’s another person!”
Dal: “Are you sure you don’t mean it’s like Brady’s another person?”
Cloe: “No, don’t be silly, Brady’s not wearing weird eye shadow and acting like a flouting wonderfairy on crack!”
And as the camera swings to Trudy, we hear all the crazy things going on in her head and it’s the eeriest, creepiest, most mind-blowing twist in TT history: The Guardian, Zoot, the Chosen, it’s all in her head, it’s her world now and the Mall Rats are doomed, because she could jump on the cafeteria tables and yell “Power ands Chaos”, and nobody would care. Lex and Bray wouldn’t even stop making out under the table, Tai San would insist on finishing her meditation before thinking about what this could mean for the spirit of the group, and everyone else would just shrug, like: “She’s always been cray-cray. So she’s going through a tough time, so what?” And anyway, it’s still full moon, and there’s a fire before the Mall, and somewhere, out in the woods, Amber’s yelling at some people and Danni just KNOWS, so shut up, Bray.
Fin.
We fade in from „The Dream must stay alive“, which is always a good start, to a burning fire in front of the mall. Daytime. This episode is already so good! What do you think the fire means? I think it has a different meaning for each episode. Today: olympic metaphor. Yes, that makes sense. Just go with it, okay?
Inside, Bray is comforting a tearful Salene. I keep forgetting her hair was that beautiful, and I really don’t know why. Bray’s hair is also okay, which is a big thing for him. You’ve seen season 3, you know what I mean.
Oh, by the way, and this isn’t the important thing about this scene, because it’s all about the hair and Danni’s issues, but they’re talking about Ryan. Salene’s worried about him. He’s out there with Ellie, while the Chosen are around, or maybe they are not. Nobody knows, right, Trudy? Wait, why is nobody worried about Ellie? Isn’t Ryan more capable of self-defense? He’s had one whole fight training with Lex in season 1!
The whole scene with Bray being supportive and calming down a crying Salene is very sweet, until she starts talking about how Ryan is not her type, and he actually asks, because, duh, he’s Broblivious (Brayblivious? Yes, that’s better): “”So what’s your type?” Did you feel like ramming your head onto your desk and then yell at him? Because I do.
Aaaand, cue Danni. Strolling in to casually be a bitch at the crying girl and her boyfriend, because as we’ve learned from Trudy in season 1, he SAT NEXT TO HER and also HE WAS BREATHING THE SAME AIR and this time there was TOUCHING! That’s a court 1 offense. Totally. Salene, still tearful, explains how she’s worried for Ryan, and Danni’s all “Right, bitch. Whatever you say. Don’t lie, you were totally planning to seduce my boyfriend next episode!” And before Sal can tell her that it will be six more episodes until that happens, Bray jumps in to defend her.
Salene runs off, totally crushed and down, while Danni yells after her, at the top of her lungs: “Come anywhere near Bray or Brady and I’ll scratch your fucking eyes out!”, which upsets Brayblivious, even though he’s too confused trying to make out where he’s ever heard that before, so his newest psycho stalker girlfriend continues to be pissed and creepily possessive: “I don’t know, was it necessary? Was it? WAS IT?? Asshole! Why don’t you just forget it! You the worst boyfriend ever! And by the way, Ebony showed me that baby photo and the movie clip of you and her by the pool! I hate you!!” She’s so reasonable, isn’t she?
Meanwhile, in sane town (cafeteria), where Bray’s mind-destructive rip-off-your-clothes-and-fall-for-me hormones have not filled the air yet, Alice and Lex are being the best buddy cop team since Jack and Dal were single and cute. Lex makes an important announcement over his current... and Trudy has this subtle, ice-cold stare, which is oddly distracting. Like a porcelain doll. With lots of eye shadow. What’s up with that? It couldn’t be... evil eyeshadow? Nooo, that would be too simple. Ebony beats her off course, wearing red, glittery fuck-me-sideways eye make-up, because she’s always more evil. Don’t try to compete, it’s just gonna end in tears and burning books. And then what will you do if it’s Sunday afternoon and raining outside?
Trudy gives Lex a vocal applause, then high fives her imaginary friends. And people keep wondering why the guy in the white coat took her away! Nobody cares about her repressed cuckoo-evil or her gender-switched baby, though, because, hello, Ebony’s in the room. And making a lot of fuss over what Lex is incapable of.
She has a point, but wasn’t this all about Alice? Who sobered Lex up, can keep him on track and is very much up to the challenge? Never mind, it’s the Ebony-Lex-Ego mash up. Butting heads, cage sex and arrogant condecension, here we go again.
Market space: Lex and Alice hold a nice strict-parent speech about gambling to two random dudes. Then they high five and giggle excitedly over abusing their power to blackmail the wrongdoers. Long live capitalism! In really colourful clothes! (Yeah, I haven’t really watched TT in a while...)
Trudy is weirdly touching Cloe and Patsy’s hair in her room, without doing anything about it. Don’t ask. It’s an Inception thing. Now I’ve only watched half the movie, so it makes sense to me, but anyway, Ebony interrupts her and they have an evil-eye-shadow bitch fight.
They send out the children to play and start talking about blackmail, kidnapping, that time in the woods, and Bray, because, pheromones. Is everyone in love with him now? Is Lex? Please, say he is!
Best line of the day: Trudy: “I’ve CHOSEN to make it my business.” The foreshadowing! The suspense! The eye shadow! It’s glorious! (Also a nice parallel to when Ebony chose Bray in high school and manipulated everyone’s lifes so he would forget about Trudy.)
Ebony tries to get the upper hand by questioning how Trudy and her gender swapped Brady escaped from the Chosen. Man, she’s good! It doesn’t bring the result she hoped for though, whatever that was, since Trudy and her inner evil genius just shut down, so she leaves, in the middle of the conversation, without a real solution or anything. Maybe she’ll go get a plastic knife and STAB Trudy! That’d be awesome!
Meanwhile: Jack plays around with some techincal devices and plugs. It doesn’t work, because there’s been no electricity for nine months plus however old Brady is. It still surprises him and Dal - maybe their collective brainpower is overestimated? Call it a hunch.
Dal tries to make the absence of electricity (again! Over a year!) about Ellie, which exhausts Jack to no end. (Me too, Jack, me too.) Oh, wait, two whole people are worried about Ellie! Ironically, they don’t give a shit about Ryan being in danger. Because Salene already does? Something is seriously wrong with this group.
Am I the only one who loves that Ellie wants to track the Chosen down and interview the Guardian for her fashion & spiritual sections? Come on, who wouldn’t wanna read that? She’s full of energy, Ryan is whiney and tired. But at least they go on.
Ebony creeps around outside Danni’s court room. No idea why she’s allowed to judge over people, but whatever.
Of course, it’s about Brayblivious and their glorious past together, what else? A little subtle undermining, and Ebony’s already reaching for that baby photo that she drew little hearts and “Brayblivious + Ebs 4eva” on, when she realizes that Danni is so obsessed with Bray that it makes Salene seem sane! Of course she and Trudy are still fighting over who loves him the most, hence the eyeshadow, and Ebony is determined to win the race: “Me and Bray, we go back a long way! Like, from his house to school, I followed him everyday with my Bray-journal and a photo camera on the off-chance that he’d ever hold a baby... for no reason at all! There’s more to Bray and I than you will ever know - there’s also more to us than he knows, so go ask him, he won’t tell you a thing! He’ll pretend like he doesn’t know what I was just talking about! Does that make you suspicious? Does it? Huh?”
Like I said. Evil eye shadow = evil genius.
For some reason Ebony storming out of there to make a new entry into her Bray-observation journal and then stare in the mirror and apply more red eye shadow, leads to Lex and Tai San walking out of two different rooms to have lots of cute chemistry and a talk about Alice. Lex pretends to be all cutesy and hits on her, making the mistake of telling a girl he’s already boned “You have no idea how good I am”, in a tone that’s not even a double entendre, it’s pure coming-on-to-her. “Oh, but I do, Lex.” She replies. Heh. Snappy. Don’t you know, Lex, a woman never forgets. Lex continues to not woe her by comparing her best friend to a dog, so she stomps her foot and runs off. To angrily meditate somewhere, probably.
Trudy is still busy with Patsy’s hair, because Inception is a tricky thing, didn’t you know. Dal joins them to invite them to the farm. Because surely Trudy would enjoy THAT. Um, has he met her? She’s like “Grand idea, ma dames. Let’s enjoy a jolly afternoon by the barn, won’t we? It will be de-light-ful! Oh, I’m sure there’ll be no Chosen around, why, did you see someone acting suspiciously? Other than me, that is?” And then she rounds it up by the greatest logical fallacy since power and chaos: “I’m sure if it was dangerous to go to the farm, Dal wouldn’t have suggested it!” Dal. The guy who just blamed the absence of electricity on Ellie being in danger. Who got circled by the Chosen in the same barn he’s taking them to, just weeks ago. That Dal.
Some time later, Ebony tells Bray, Trudy, fake Brady, Lex and Alice how she’ll be moving out of the house into the hotel. For tactical reasons. And to sort her Bray-related poetry chronologically and decide which ones to plaster his room with before she gently kills him, so he can never love anyone else more than her ever again. Only Trudy’s supportive (in a way that highlights her eye shadow, which is brilliant). She totally can relate to Ebony’s plans, also, one down - two to go: only Danni and Salene will be between her and Bray now. Isn’t it great?
Lex and Alice have cereal, or something else in tiny colourful plastic cups, sitting on his bed and agreeing that this is the best thing ever. Which it’s not, because I can SEE that those cups are empty. I can even see that their spoons are empty! But that’s not the point. It’s clearly about how they’re connecting, Lex and his “doggy”, because talking about how much you miss food when you’re pretending to eat is sort of useless. Just go to the cafeteria where there IS food and stop the charade! You’re both not five, and Sasha is nowhere around, so there’s no excuse for this nonsensory.
They go on to be stupid when Lex says his best quality are his people skills. By which he means mobbing people out of the Mall, or you know, just mobbing people in general. And he’s right, he’s brilliant at that: Paul, Ebony, Bray (almost), and for the just-bullying part: everyone.
Bray runs after a sulking Amber... sorry, Danni, because it’s a Tuesday. It’s what he does now. Every single girl is in love with him, so it totally makes sense that he would stick with the one who doesn’t trust him and treats him like a lying cheater... for a masochist, that is.
She whines (or says, I’m never sure with her voice) “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” and I’ve never agreed with her more. Is there something irresistible and wonderous about Danni that I don’t see? Is it ACTUAL masochism? Or is it just the old “the script said so” excuse? Danni yells a whole lot about how she doesn’t care what Ebony does, where she lives, who she fucks, and Bray doesn’t even get where this is coming from. Because he’s Brayblivious, how is he supposed to notice Ebony and her camera between all his other stalkers? He’s been buying the excuse “What? Me - following you? Nonsense, I live here, dummy!” for two seasons now, so why change. Oh, right, he’s dating Othella.
“You really don’t get it, do you?”, Othella spits in his face and I’m starting to think I don’t either. What’s her problem? Besides belonging in a closed facility, i mean. Her explanation: “You once danced with Ebony when I refused to dance with you, then you sat at Salene’s side and breathed the same air as her and then you talked to Ebony. Also, you were in the same room together - don’t lie, I saw you!”
Bray’s like, “Everyone saw us, it’s the cafeteria, we were having a group discussion.” But Danni’s not having it. Because she’s right and he’s so MEAN, because can’t he just tell her how he’s fucking every other girl in the Mall, so we can end this bullshit now and never have a scene like this again? Please, Bray. Just do it. No? Moron!
Instead, he tells her how he dated Ebony for a week before the virus, and how did she not know that? She’s been in the Mall for at least half a year now, doesn’t she ever talk to people? “Nothing that mattered then matters now”, he ends, and, interesting philosophy Bray. He sort of has a point, unless you go with “And what’s with your niece? She was conceived then!” But it’ll only give him the excuse that A) she wasn’t born then and B) what niece, that’s a boy with Trudy! Either way, Danni’s going with option C: “Shut up, asshole! I hate you for being the guy every girl’s stalking, it makes you totally untrustworthy! And you’re LIVING with all of them!”
Bray: “Not Ebony, she’s moving out.”
Danni: “Ah, you just keep hiding things from me, you liar! You’ve proven to be completely untrustworthy, because in my imagination you cheated on me like five times today!” Which, he swears, he doesn’t remember that, but she doesn’t care, because she wants the truth. And by the truth she means, she wants him to admit to fictional affairs and non-existing feelings for other girls, so: she either wants him to lie, or not talk to another girl ever again. His choice.
At the farm, Trudy is interrupted from staring creepily into space, when Dal comes up: “Erm, issue: Are you planing to lift a finger today or not.” Trudy awesomely, litterally goes: “I don’t think so! I didn’t come out here to plan my hands dirty.” No, really. That’s litterally her answer.
Bray, to prove to everyone that he doesn’t have an affair with Ebony, yells around in the cafeteria how he doesn’t know Ebony, doesn’t trust her, in fact, he’s not even sure he ever even met her. Alice and Lex are still fake-eating and fake-drinking, and they still suck at it. Just this moment, Ebony walks in, quickly hiding her camera behind her back. No, that’s not a coincidence, how do you think she’s going to fill that Bray shrine, it's a WHOLE HOTEL after all.
Ebony: “There’s just one more thing I gotta do before I go.” Girl needs more Bray pictures before moving out. Obviously.
Bray runs at Ebony, slams her against the wall and torture-tickles her for a few minutes, then they make out (Because they’re having an affair now, keep up!) and THEN he’s like: “Where does Danni get her crazy from?” Oh boy. Don't we all wonder.
Ebony rolls her eyes and starts whistling innocently, so they get freaky on the kitchen counter, before Bray bitches at her for spreading lies about him, which, as she cheerily informs him, she won’t stop, because it’s too much fun, so deal with it, bitch.
Am I just imagining it, or has she put on even more evil eye shadow?
At the farm, noone is being productive in any way. Dal’s pretending to for like 3 seconds flat, Cloe and Patsy are playing with their dog and Trudy is busy with holding her mute, gender-switched baby and having thought-conversations with Zoot, Elvis, Sylvia Plaath...
Which leads to the question: Why doesn’t Dawn just kick out all those useless city folks and take over? What? Oh, right, she’s busy with the cycles of the earth and burning living butterflies over pentagramms of blood. Also, it’s always full moon, so of course she needs so sacrifice a goat every night, which takes a lot of preparation. (And people keep asking why I ship her with Moz... come on, they’re so full of crazy, they’re made for each other! And they don’t even need a lot eye-shadow for it!)
The next scene is sort of pointless, but here’s the important part: Trudy is showing her repressed craziness and Dal and Cloe literally totally look like siblings. I’m not kidding. They could be twins, even though he’s supposed to be 2-3 years older than her.
Not to be outdone by Loony-Trudy, Ebony’s filling the whole cafeteria with crazy, demanding to take Jack with her: “I need his know-how!”
Because she wants to print out her Bray pictures in poster size, and how is she supposed to know how that’s done? Bray casually pretends like he didn’t bone her and how he gives a shit about who Jack works for, but it’s all an elaborate plan to get all the people out of the mall, so he can have some alone time with Lex. I’m assuming. Really, I’m not making this up: They sit next to each other. That’s like an open confession!
Then he totally ruins his plan by telling everyone how he plans to move in with Ebony, into her Bray-photo wallpaper covered hotel. As soon as he’s done boning Lex that is. It makes sense, if you only think like Danni. Try it, it’s fun! Like this: Bray just put his hand on Jack’s shoulder, so obviously this means that they’re gently kissing every Saturday before lunch. See. Makes complete sense. Rationality, people. Then he sits next to Lex AGAIN and they lean in closely to have some more eye sex. It’s glorious.
Tai San has finally found Alice, after looking for her for the whole day. Where has she been looking? Or does angry meditation last that long? Anyway, she’s there to carefully, respectfully let Alice know that Lex is a shallow bastard and doesn’t want to bone plus sized girls. Alice ignores this, because Lex once saved her life after totally insulting her a couple of times, also, he made her his lackey: true love. The whole him/Bray thing she’s cool with, because she likes to watch them spooning after.
Danni walks up to Salene, who runs away from her, which, smart move, Sal. Teach Bray that, will you?
Apparently she hasn’t, because he runs along, licks his horrible girlfriend's feet and begs her to talk about all the things that didn’t happen. Because... I’m out. I have no idea. Maybe the sex is THAT good. Maybe he likes hearing her voice? No, it’s definitely the sex.
Meanwhile, one of Bray’s stalkers (Salene) is watching them through the grill, all teary-eyed and Ryan-who?
At the farm, Trudy’s STILL Inceptioning Patsy’s hair, so Cloe starts to get suspicious. Cloe’s like “There’s something wrong! We can’t do this, we’re siblings!” - No actually, she’s noticed something wrong about Trudy. Finally! Someone! “It’s like she’s another person!”
Dal: “Are you sure you don’t mean it’s like Brady’s another person?”
Cloe: “No, don’t be silly, Brady’s not wearing weird eye shadow and acting like a flouting wonderfairy on crack!”
And as the camera swings to Trudy, we hear all the crazy things going on in her head and it’s the eeriest, creepiest, most mind-blowing twist in TT history: The Guardian, Zoot, the Chosen, it’s all in her head, it’s her world now and the Mall Rats are doomed, because she could jump on the cafeteria tables and yell “Power ands Chaos”, and nobody would care. Lex and Bray wouldn’t even stop making out under the table, Tai San would insist on finishing her meditation before thinking about what this could mean for the spirit of the group, and everyone else would just shrug, like: “She’s always been cray-cray. So she’s going through a tough time, so what?” And anyway, it’s still full moon, and there’s a fire before the Mall, and somewhere, out in the woods, Amber’s yelling at some people and Danni just KNOWS, so shut up, Bray.
Fin.