Fic: Storytime
Title: Storytime
Author: Nemesis (Nems)
Pairing: House/Wilson
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Cameron tells a story. Belongs in the Laurenverse
Disclaimer: Okay. *munches some popcorn*. I'm watching the credits now... Wouldja look at that! They don't say "Nemesis" anywhere near there. Not even in the random tech stuffs. Guess it's not mine then!
A/N: Betaed by benjimmy, 1lostone, and Cris. I love them all!!
Dr. House is being forced would like to take this time and space to remind you that "puppies shouldn't be kicked, Chase is a whore, and reviews are love. Can I have a week off Clinic duty now?" Dr. Wilson would like to add, "Favorite lines are much appreciated, I'm told. Ditto for concrit."
She started talking. It was difficult writing it properly and keeping everyone straight, but she was pretty sure she had it.
“Once upon a time, there was a prince. That prince was not very nice, and often very hurtful, so a fairy turned him into a Beast. He didn’t look like most beasts, but the constant scruffy facial hair was set to remind us all of his possible beastliness. To further punish the not-nice prince, the fairy took away part of his leg. Someone who felt bad for the prince told him that he couldn’t have that part of his leg back, but she gave him a stick so that he could walk. The fairy gave him white pills to make his pain go away. The fairy said that the Beast could be a prince again with two good legs if he learned to be nice and love someone. But if he didn’t, the white pills would kill him in twenty years. So the Beast - who was not a prince anymore - went to work. He was nasty still and snapped at everyone, and he never did any work.
“One day, the semi-wicked Queen made him have three sidekicks. The Beast said that he had a sidekick already, the trusty Boy Wonder. But the Queen said Boy Wonder already had a job, and that the Beast needed three sidekicks to help him solve mysteries. The Beast hired a criminal Blackie, an amusing Koala, and a beautiful Princess. The beautiful Princess fell in love with the Beast, even if he was a nasty Beast, and she wanted him to love her too. Everyone told her she was crazy. Blackie teased her about her love for the nasty Beast, but the fair Princess would not be swayed.
“Disaster struck the Kingdom. An Evil creature, the corpulent Demon Vogler, came to the Kingdom and tried to kill the nasty Beast. The fair Princess and Trusty Boy Wonder both took a hit, but then the semi-wicked Queen came blazing in and saved Boy Wonder, the nasty Beast, and the three sidekicks. The fair Princess, knowing that her true love would not succumb easily, tricked the nasty Beast into taking her on a date. Blackie and Koala teased her about the nasty Beast hurting her, but Boy Wonder told her that the Beast could get hurt and that she should be careful.
“The date did not go well, and the nasty Beast scoffed her. The fair Princess, however, would not be stymied, and…”
“Cameron? What are you doing?” Foreman asked from behind her. An amused laugh told her that Chase was also there.
Cameron whipped round. “Um… nothing. I was telling Lauren a story.”
Lauren’s head poked out from behind Cameron. “She was telling a story about her and Daddy.”
“No, I wasn’t!” Cameron protested. “I was just retelling Beauty and the Beast. A slightly more modern version.”
Lauren laughed. “She was talking about the nasty Beast with a stick and white pills, about the Trusty Boy Wonder, about the semi-wicked Queen, the Demon Vogler, and the three sidekicks, Blackie, Koala, and the beautiful Princess. She hadn’t gotten to the part about me yet.”
Chase grinned. “The fair princess?” he asked. “Abusing Beauty and the Beast? I would’ve thought it beneath you, Cameron.”
Foreman scowled. “Blackie? You’re teaching a seven-year-old it’s okay to call me Blackie?”
“It’s okay, Uncle Eric, I’m not going to call you Blackie.”
Foreman smiled down at Lauren. A thought occurred to him, and he turned to Cameron. “How were you going to end this? Was this going to end with the Princess and Koala marrying, or with the Princess and the Beast marrying?”
Cameron looked toward the ceiling. “It was Beauty and the Beast. Nothing to do with House or us or anything like that.”
House entered. “Beauty and the Beast? That’s the one with bestiality, isn’t it? Cameron, what are you teaching my daughter?!”
Foreman and Chase snickered.
“Daddy!” Lauren cried, sliding off the table and rushing to her father. She hugged his good leg tightly.
“Hi, pumpkin,” House greeted, stroking her hair affectionately. “Did you have fun with Auntie Allie?”
“I’m not Auntie Allie,” Cameron objected immediately.
Lauren and House ignored her. “She told me a story.”
“Right,” Cameron interrupted. “We had storytime.”
“Aw, I love storytime. How come I got left out?” House moaned. He looked at the others. “Where are my current fellows?”
“Drawing blood still,” Chase answered. “I come bearing a surgeon’s report.”
“I can draw blood,” Lauren declared proudly. “I’ll show you.” She let go of House’s leg and ran towards his desk.
“Crayons are in the middle drawer!” House called after her. “And take paper from the printer.” He turned to Cameron. “So, what was this about Beauty and the Beast?”
“Nothing,” Cameron said firmly. “I was just telling Lauren a story.”
“Well, Auntie Allie, I’m going to have to insist that you don’t introduce my daughter to bestiality. At least not while she’s seven and I’m alive. Once I’m dead and she’s legal, you can show her whatever you want.”
Chase laughed. “According to Lauren, Cameron told a wonderful story about a nasty Beast, a semi-wicked Queen, a Trusty Boy Wonder, a Demon Vogler, and the three sidekicks, Blackie, Koala, and the beautiful Princess.”
“Good Lord. Would this story have ended with me marrying you?” House asked.
“It wasn’t about us!” Cameron protested.
“Look, Daddy, I drew blood!” Lauren came back, waving her drawing proudly.
House took it from her and looked at it quizzically. There were giant splotches of dark red. “Well. I’ll make sure Mommy puts this on the fridge.”
“Where do you put the pictures your team brings you?” Lauren asked.
House stifled a laugh. “Lauren, when they draw blood, they take blood from someone. Just a little bit in a vial. Remember when you got very sick and Daddy took some blood from you? That’s what my team is doing.”
“Oh. Can we go visit Mommy?”
“Who’s not the beautiful Princess,” House said to Cameron.
Cameron flushed. “I… why do I even bother?”
“Your fault for telling the story,” Chase laughed.
“Mommy!” Lauren cried suddenly, rushing to Wilson. She hugged his legs.
“Oof! Hi, Lauren. Did you have a good time with Auntie Allie?”
“Auntie Allie told a story about you and Daddy and…”
“No, I didn’t, and don’t call me Auntie Allie! ”
-- End
Author: Nemesis (Nems)
Pairing: House/Wilson
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Cameron tells a story. Belongs in the Laurenverse
Disclaimer: Okay. *munches some popcorn*. I'm watching the credits now... Wouldja look at that! They don't say "Nemesis" anywhere near there. Not even in the random tech stuffs. Guess it's not mine then!
A/N: Betaed by benjimmy, 1lostone, and Cris. I love them all!!
Dr. House is being forced would like to take this time and space to remind you that "puppies shouldn't be kicked, Chase is a whore, and reviews are love. Can I have a week off Clinic duty now?" Dr. Wilson would like to add, "Favorite lines are much appreciated, I'm told. Ditto for concrit."
She started talking. It was difficult writing it properly and keeping everyone straight, but she was pretty sure she had it.
“Once upon a time, there was a prince. That prince was not very nice, and often very hurtful, so a fairy turned him into a Beast. He didn’t look like most beasts, but the constant scruffy facial hair was set to remind us all of his possible beastliness. To further punish the not-nice prince, the fairy took away part of his leg. Someone who felt bad for the prince told him that he couldn’t have that part of his leg back, but she gave him a stick so that he could walk. The fairy gave him white pills to make his pain go away. The fairy said that the Beast could be a prince again with two good legs if he learned to be nice and love someone. But if he didn’t, the white pills would kill him in twenty years. So the Beast - who was not a prince anymore - went to work. He was nasty still and snapped at everyone, and he never did any work.
“One day, the semi-wicked Queen made him have three sidekicks. The Beast said that he had a sidekick already, the trusty Boy Wonder. But the Queen said Boy Wonder already had a job, and that the Beast needed three sidekicks to help him solve mysteries. The Beast hired a criminal Blackie, an amusing Koala, and a beautiful Princess. The beautiful Princess fell in love with the Beast, even if he was a nasty Beast, and she wanted him to love her too. Everyone told her she was crazy. Blackie teased her about her love for the nasty Beast, but the fair Princess would not be swayed.
“Disaster struck the Kingdom. An Evil creature, the corpulent Demon Vogler, came to the Kingdom and tried to kill the nasty Beast. The fair Princess and Trusty Boy Wonder both took a hit, but then the semi-wicked Queen came blazing in and saved Boy Wonder, the nasty Beast, and the three sidekicks. The fair Princess, knowing that her true love would not succumb easily, tricked the nasty Beast into taking her on a date. Blackie and Koala teased her about the nasty Beast hurting her, but Boy Wonder told her that the Beast could get hurt and that she should be careful.
“The date did not go well, and the nasty Beast scoffed her. The fair Princess, however, would not be stymied, and…”
“Cameron? What are you doing?” Foreman asked from behind her. An amused laugh told her that Chase was also there.
Cameron whipped round. “Um… nothing. I was telling Lauren a story.”
Lauren’s head poked out from behind Cameron. “She was telling a story about her and Daddy.”
“No, I wasn’t!” Cameron protested. “I was just retelling Beauty and the Beast. A slightly more modern version.”
Lauren laughed. “She was talking about the nasty Beast with a stick and white pills, about the Trusty Boy Wonder, about the semi-wicked Queen, the Demon Vogler, and the three sidekicks, Blackie, Koala, and the beautiful Princess. She hadn’t gotten to the part about me yet.”
Chase grinned. “The fair princess?” he asked. “Abusing Beauty and the Beast? I would’ve thought it beneath you, Cameron.”
Foreman scowled. “Blackie? You’re teaching a seven-year-old it’s okay to call me Blackie?”
“It’s okay, Uncle Eric, I’m not going to call you Blackie.”
Foreman smiled down at Lauren. A thought occurred to him, and he turned to Cameron. “How were you going to end this? Was this going to end with the Princess and Koala marrying, or with the Princess and the Beast marrying?”
Cameron looked toward the ceiling. “It was Beauty and the Beast. Nothing to do with House or us or anything like that.”
House entered. “Beauty and the Beast? That’s the one with bestiality, isn’t it? Cameron, what are you teaching my daughter?!”
Foreman and Chase snickered.
“Daddy!” Lauren cried, sliding off the table and rushing to her father. She hugged his good leg tightly.
“Hi, pumpkin,” House greeted, stroking her hair affectionately. “Did you have fun with Auntie Allie?”
“I’m not Auntie Allie,” Cameron objected immediately.
Lauren and House ignored her. “She told me a story.”
“Right,” Cameron interrupted. “We had storytime.”
“Aw, I love storytime. How come I got left out?” House moaned. He looked at the others. “Where are my current fellows?”
“Drawing blood still,” Chase answered. “I come bearing a surgeon’s report.”
“I can draw blood,” Lauren declared proudly. “I’ll show you.” She let go of House’s leg and ran towards his desk.
“Crayons are in the middle drawer!” House called after her. “And take paper from the printer.” He turned to Cameron. “So, what was this about Beauty and the Beast?”
“Nothing,” Cameron said firmly. “I was just telling Lauren a story.”
“Well, Auntie Allie, I’m going to have to insist that you don’t introduce my daughter to bestiality. At least not while she’s seven and I’m alive. Once I’m dead and she’s legal, you can show her whatever you want.”
Chase laughed. “According to Lauren, Cameron told a wonderful story about a nasty Beast, a semi-wicked Queen, a Trusty Boy Wonder, a Demon Vogler, and the three sidekicks, Blackie, Koala, and the beautiful Princess.”
“Good Lord. Would this story have ended with me marrying you?” House asked.
“It wasn’t about us!” Cameron protested.
“Look, Daddy, I drew blood!” Lauren came back, waving her drawing proudly.
House took it from her and looked at it quizzically. There were giant splotches of dark red. “Well. I’ll make sure Mommy puts this on the fridge.”
“Where do you put the pictures your team brings you?” Lauren asked.
House stifled a laugh. “Lauren, when they draw blood, they take blood from someone. Just a little bit in a vial. Remember when you got very sick and Daddy took some blood from you? That’s what my team is doing.”
“Oh. Can we go visit Mommy?”
“Who’s not the beautiful Princess,” House said to Cameron.
Cameron flushed. “I… why do I even bother?”
“Your fault for telling the story,” Chase laughed.
“Mommy!” Lauren cried suddenly, rushing to Wilson. She hugged his legs.
“Oof! Hi, Lauren. Did you have a good time with Auntie Allie?”
“Auntie Allie told a story about you and Daddy and…”
“No, I didn’t, and don’t call me Auntie Allie! ”
-- End