short brief moment of updateness and ranting
Okay, yes, that's melodramatic. But here's the deal--not only did my cousin send me to the store with a list for tonight's Feast of Durga that ended up in seven bags and totaled $129.74, but Jane's bought this new "body scrub" that's essentially a lot of green grease in a bottle, and it's making the shower slippery.
The main problem with the shower floor being slippery? Cat can fall down in our shower WITHOUT ASSISTANCE. And if I fall down, there's no one in the house who CAN help me up!
So now I have to treat her like a five-year-old and tell her, if she's not up to cleaning the bottom of the shower every time she uses the body scrub, then she can't use it in the shower. Oh, how I LOVE these conversations.
Not to mention the fact that Jane borrowed the cousin's coffee press--without asking--and left some turgid concoction of allspice, cloves and...some dark mushy something-or-other--in the base of it to rot, basically. And when La Roommate reached under the sink to get the dishwashing detergent, she poured out water. (Handy little tip for the braindead--one can extend the life of detergent for HANDwashing, and for CLOTHESwashing--but for DISHwashing IT. DOES. NOT. WORK!)
And both La Roommate and I were yelling at the bird today that if he didn't SHUT THE HELL UP with the screaming, he was going into STEW. (Strangely, this threat actually worked for a good long while. That, and the one that went, "We'll put you OUTSIDE...with the DOGS...")
AND I've written my name on a package of cheese, and Cat's name on a package of salami, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER in this house. I consider this a sign that there is a profound distrust of roommates. To date, even with the psychotic crackhead roommates I had back in Rio Linda, I have NEVER written my name on anything in the fridge. I consider it such a basic violation of guestrights as well as hospitality, that I've never done it.
I'm doing it now. BECAUSE OTHERWISE THEY EAT EVERYTHING.
Of course, this is assuming they bother to READ...
Plus, it was HUGELY COLD today, so I had to lug seven bags of groceries onto the bus, and off of the bus, in driving rain and wind. Oh, joy. I'm thinking after this I'm giving up until dinner, and I'm just going under blankets in the bedroom with the heater on high. Damn it.
Some links, et al, so the post isn't a TOTAL ranty loss.
OH MY GOD.
You realize I have to kill all of you now? This could take a while.
sparklebutch made my jaw drop to the floor.
Okay, I'm going after Prussian Blue first. I'll get back to killing the rest of you later. Girl's gotta have her priorities straight.
More Two Lumps:
To be fair, I think the local wildlife would have a problem with one of these things, too. :)
So maybe if we just stop shedding...
Targeting kitchen area, my master...
Alas, Snooch intervened.
And more Oh My Gods:
This. Is. So. WRONG!!
This? Also SO WRONG.
It's a running joke. We all get it now.
More problems with Gardnerians.
I gacked it from mimisoliel:
You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.
Batman, the Dark Knight
96%
Maximus
88%
Neo, the "One"
71%
El Zorro
58%
The Terminator
54%
James Bond, Agent 007
50%
Lara Croft
46%
Captain Jack Sparrow
46%
Indiana Jones
46%
William Wallace
33%
The Amazing Spider-Man
21%
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
Um. Well, what with all those questions about utility belts being cool and liking living in caves...what did you expect me to get? Plus there's all that fractured personality, can't-let-anyone-else-close, must-protect-secret-identity-at-all-costs stuph...
What? You didn't know I had a secret identity? Come on. EVERYONE has a secret identity. Plus a mutant power. Though to be fair, my Secret Mutant Power is the Innate Ability to Irritate SAINTS. I'm really, REALLY good at irritating people.
While I was wandering around Style.com, I stumbled across some new shots of the Yohji Yamamoto show. There's only four of them, but hey.
Okay, simplest thing ever in the history of denim being a fabric: pants are too long, don't have time to properly sew them, you cut 'em off and fold up the cuffs so that you're not trailing the raw edge next to your shoes and creating dangling threads.
But here's the thing--if you have pants long enough to cut off then cuff up for eight inches...well, for one thing, you're depriving the Jolly Green Giant's skinny-ass cousin of pants. But two, is you're going about the whole thing wrong. If you're cutting off new jeans and cuffing them up that far...well, you just look ridiculous. Not fashionable.
Spring 2006 Ready-to-Wear Show for Yohji Yamamoto. Model: Solange Wilvert for NEXT. Photo: Marcio Madeira.
Okay, you thought the women covered in black rope from this show looked bad? Let's try it in red. And even better, let's make one BIG-ASS POCKET FOR NO APPARENT REASON...and make it stand out from her narrow ass. Oh, and hey, wouldn't it be fun to have everything else be pretty much unconstructed?
Yeah, that's what we want. Suuuuure.
Spring 2006 Ready-to-Wear Show for Yohji Yamamoto. Model: Mariacarla Boscono for VIVA. Photo: Marcio Madeira.
So this is another shot of Lily Cole, dressed fetchingly as an end table at a wedding. And look, she's even got a...cute...little...braided rope bouquet-thing. Um.
Yamamoto is definitely taking the hard stuph. Okay, both he and Galliano, in rehab, stat!
Spring 2006 Ready-to-Wear Show for Yohji Yamamoto. Model: Lily Cole for STORM. Photo: Marcio Madeira.
Close-up of the braided bouquet.
Um, why is it a different color?
Spring 2006 Ready-to-Wear Show for Yohji Yamamoto. Detail shot of Lily Cole holding the braided rope...bouquet-thing. Photo: Olivier Claisse.
That's it. Going to try to get warmth in the bones now. And stop grinding my teeth in frustration.
The main problem with the shower floor being slippery? Cat can fall down in our shower WITHOUT ASSISTANCE. And if I fall down, there's no one in the house who CAN help me up!
So now I have to treat her like a five-year-old and tell her, if she's not up to cleaning the bottom of the shower every time she uses the body scrub, then she can't use it in the shower. Oh, how I LOVE these conversations.
Not to mention the fact that Jane borrowed the cousin's coffee press--without asking--and left some turgid concoction of allspice, cloves and...some dark mushy something-or-other--in the base of it to rot, basically. And when La Roommate reached under the sink to get the dishwashing detergent, she poured out water. (Handy little tip for the braindead--one can extend the life of detergent for HANDwashing, and for CLOTHESwashing--but for DISHwashing IT. DOES. NOT. WORK!)
And both La Roommate and I were yelling at the bird today that if he didn't SHUT THE HELL UP with the screaming, he was going into STEW. (Strangely, this threat actually worked for a good long while. That, and the one that went, "We'll put you OUTSIDE...with the DOGS...")
AND I've written my name on a package of cheese, and Cat's name on a package of salami, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER in this house. I consider this a sign that there is a profound distrust of roommates. To date, even with the psychotic crackhead roommates I had back in Rio Linda, I have NEVER written my name on anything in the fridge. I consider it such a basic violation of guestrights as well as hospitality, that I've never done it.
I'm doing it now. BECAUSE OTHERWISE THEY EAT EVERYTHING.
Of course, this is assuming they bother to READ...
Plus, it was HUGELY COLD today, so I had to lug seven bags of groceries onto the bus, and off of the bus, in driving rain and wind. Oh, joy. I'm thinking after this I'm giving up until dinner, and I'm just going under blankets in the bedroom with the heater on high. Damn it.
Some links, et al, so the post isn't a TOTAL ranty loss.
OH MY GOD.
You realize I have to kill all of you now? This could take a while.
sparklebutch made my jaw drop to the floor.
Okay, I'm going after Prussian Blue first. I'll get back to killing the rest of you later. Girl's gotta have her priorities straight.
More Two Lumps:
To be fair, I think the local wildlife would have a problem with one of these things, too. :)
So maybe if we just stop shedding...
Targeting kitchen area, my master...
Alas, Snooch intervened.
And more Oh My Gods:
This. Is. So. WRONG!!
This? Also SO WRONG.
It's a running joke. We all get it now.
More problems with Gardnerians.
I gacked it from mimisoliel:
You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.
Batman, the Dark Knight
96%
Maximus
88%
Neo, the "One"
71%
El Zorro
58%
The Terminator
54%
James Bond, Agent 007
50%
Lara Croft
46%
Captain Jack Sparrow
46%
Indiana Jones
46%
William Wallace
33%
The Amazing Spider-Man
21%
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
Um. Well, what with all those questions about utility belts being cool and liking living in caves...what did you expect me to get? Plus there's all that fractured personality, can't-let-anyone-else-close, must-protect-secret-identity-at-all-costs stuph...
What? You didn't know I had a secret identity? Come on. EVERYONE has a secret identity. Plus a mutant power. Though to be fair, my Secret Mutant Power is the Innate Ability to Irritate SAINTS. I'm really, REALLY good at irritating people.
While I was wandering around Style.com, I stumbled across some new shots of the Yohji Yamamoto show. There's only four of them, but hey.
Okay, simplest thing ever in the history of denim being a fabric: pants are too long, don't have time to properly sew them, you cut 'em off and fold up the cuffs so that you're not trailing the raw edge next to your shoes and creating dangling threads.
But here's the thing--if you have pants long enough to cut off then cuff up for eight inches...well, for one thing, you're depriving the Jolly Green Giant's skinny-ass cousin of pants. But two, is you're going about the whole thing wrong. If you're cutting off new jeans and cuffing them up that far...well, you just look ridiculous. Not fashionable.
Spring 2006 Ready-to-Wear Show for Yohji Yamamoto. Model: Solange Wilvert for NEXT. Photo: Marcio Madeira.
Okay, you thought the women covered in black rope from this show looked bad? Let's try it in red. And even better, let's make one BIG-ASS POCKET FOR NO APPARENT REASON...and make it stand out from her narrow ass. Oh, and hey, wouldn't it be fun to have everything else be pretty much unconstructed?
Yeah, that's what we want. Suuuuure.
Spring 2006 Ready-to-Wear Show for Yohji Yamamoto. Model: Mariacarla Boscono for VIVA. Photo: Marcio Madeira.
So this is another shot of Lily Cole, dressed fetchingly as an end table at a wedding. And look, she's even got a...cute...little...braided rope bouquet-thing. Um.
Yamamoto is definitely taking the hard stuph. Okay, both he and Galliano, in rehab, stat!
Spring 2006 Ready-to-Wear Show for Yohji Yamamoto. Model: Lily Cole for STORM. Photo: Marcio Madeira.
Close-up of the braided bouquet.
Um, why is it a different color?
Spring 2006 Ready-to-Wear Show for Yohji Yamamoto. Detail shot of Lily Cole holding the braided rope...bouquet-thing. Photo: Olivier Claisse.
That's it. Going to try to get warmth in the bones now. And stop grinding my teeth in frustration.