mucal watchdogs
i do not have social anxiety disorder. i have a few good, close friends and several aquantances. i often welcome social situations where i won't have to meet anybody for the first time when nobody i know is in the room. i am however, extremely socially eccentric. For instance, i have a hard time conversing with anyone who's just been applauded to (i feel inadaquit). i have a feeling of uneasiness when i meet somebody for the first time more than three stories up in a building (i fear being thrown out windows) and i cant have a conversation with anyone immediatly after they've complemented me. take right now for example. I've been in my room for the past three hours. ive been watching tokyo drifter in 20 minute chunks, stopping for reasons as pressing as being thirsty, tired or itchy. i've read more than thirty pages in two books that i've already finished. i've coloured three panels in a comic and completed a script writting project. but right now none of that matters, because i desperatly want to run around the block. but i can't because my parents are talking to our nextdoor neighbors who i've never met. they moved in over a month ago after a tragedy so sad no writter could have invented it with a good creative concence forced our old neighber to leave. these are good, funny people. if i just met them somewhere i'm sure i'd get along fine with them. if i met them NOW i'm sure i'd get along with them fine. The guy is bairly 30 (which i currently percieve to be an excelent age), wears shorts and backwards baseball caps (which at his age bracket makes him cool because it so clearly isn't the cool thing to do, sort of like owning the entire they might be giants discography) and at least carries around what appears to be a guitar (which i can only assume means he plays it). but i can't meet these people right now, because they don't know i exist, and if we meet i'll have to have one of those "hey, i exist" conversations where they fill me into the lives of the rest of my family members. though this isn't terrifying i find it very undesirable, like watching two football games with teams you don't care about on a very small black and white tv with no snacks. it's just not a way you want to fill your time. that is why right now i'm going to sneek out my back door and run across my back neighbers lawn.