(no subject)

[nells21]

I LOVE HER TO DEATH.....but there are many of times in which I wish I hadn't gotten to like her so much. It all began on a nice warm saturday in September (I believe) in the city of Palos Heights. My roommate and I were coming back from breakfast and were randomly stopped by this wierd freshman girl (might I mention I was a sophomore) asking us if we wanted to go downtown to the Shedd Aquarium? Yeah okay! I wanna do that because I love museums sooo much. We went and she invited yet another freshman guy whom I didn't know either. .......and I realize well she isnt as bad as I had originally thought after all (I guess). Because before this I honestly didn't think I could stand the girl. haha Anyways, what I'm trying to get at is that had I not gone back to Trinity for my sophomore year like I had originally intended not to I would never have gotten to know this awesome girl whom I call a best friend of mine. It's October of 2004, two years after all of this happened. And one year after being 2,000 miles away from this wonderful friendship that was just beginning to form. I just got a phone call about 45 minutes ago from her and all i hear is music playing....trying to figure out what song she could be wanting me to listen to and I then realize that it is THURSDAY night.....that means it's P&W! It was so loud and they were singing one of my most favorite songs. You made me cry because it makes me think about and realize all that I'm missing out on back there. I want to say something and I don't know why I am. But there were so many times last year that I had constantly thought about going back to Trinity and wondered why I even came home. I havn't once thought about that since then. But tonight when I got this call, I think it was more then just a call from this friend of mine, but I'm honestly beginning to think that it was God on the other line as well, calling us on 3-way. haha Because at the same time I recieved this call I was looking at schools here and downloading applications for next semester so I can finally try to get my life back on track and do something with it. I just feel as though I'm not getting anything accomplished out here. I know that things didn't go well for me out there either and I should be done with school this next semester had I done good out there but hey, life doesnt always go the way you want it. It's wierd because I was talking to my mom a little today or yesterday (I dont know) about school and I said I'm just going to go back to Trinity! But why? I hated it there! Don't get me wrong, I loved the people (well most, the ones that arn't FAKE). But I think the atmosphere I was in was what did it for me and that was what probably brought me down in my studies too. The barely 1,000 enrollment was well, 3 times smaller then what my high school had been and the community was boring. I need city. If I were downtown, yeah, I'm sure that would have been a heck of a lot different. Or perhaps even off campus in my own house where I didn't have someone my own age trying to tell me what I could and could not have in my room. Because my parents dont even do that. But I've seen just too many people leave the school just as I did as well so what really is it about that school? And why am I thinking all of this anyways when I seem to be sooo happy here with all of the new friends I'm getting and my family I have at home. I think I just want to feel like I'm going somewhere with my life and I do not feel that at all right now. In fact I havn't felt that way in quite a while. It's just so damn hard to get anywhere if you want a career in Nursing in California. Not only are the community colleges but even the private universities are so backed up in that program. Had I gone to this one private school i was accepted to this fall I was told I wouldn't even be able to apply (not be accepted) to the nursing program until 2006! Do you know how long that is? That's rediculous (however you spell it). Anyways, does anyone at all know what I'm trying to get at? Because I havn't a clue. I need some major help! I know no one can tell me what to do and I know only those good friends of mine will be honest with me and look at my education as my situation and not so much of them wanting me there or not because I'm their friend ya know? So anyways, if anyone wants to give me any advice about any of this that would be wonderful. Thanks!

*Yes! That was you Heidi Jo! The wierd freshman girl. haha Love Ya!*