junkie
"BIGGGG BREATH ..."
LARMA LARMA LARMA LARMA. .. . .
ok now thats out of the way . . Ive been beading stuff . . stuff all afternoon. . . so its far to say i'm now crazy . . more so than normal. . . . and i seem to have used an excessive amount of . . .'s . . . hmm . . .
Ok. well i'm a little bit lonely at the moment. i dont know why. i jsut feel . . lonely. its a strange thing really. i mean everyones home, but i feel like i'm lonely. like somethings not quite right.
i would love to move out of home. i really would. its not because i dont like home, its jsut it feels crowded. i know that sounds so stupid coming from something who feels lonely. but its true . . thats how i feel.
A part of me just wants to start fresh. go out and do things by myself (once again this must sound weird from someone who claims to be lonely. . . ) Then theres the rest of me, which is happy most of tthe time to be safe . . .do safe things, stay in. be polite, smile and jest. . .but then theres this other part that argues with me, always wanting change, excitement. a risk filled thrill.
i dont know. i really dont. i feel lonely, crowded and safe. So, safe is a odd place for that string of emotions, but i do. And i know safe is a good place to be. . . but still, there is that part of me that doesn't want safe. That part that wants risk and trouble and excitement and to try new things. .
You know, the raw, edgy dirty denim risky trouble. . . so not real trouble i guess but the thrilling hot feeling experienced when you do something bad, or risky or taboo . that adrenilin rush that makes your tummy turn and your face flush hot with knowing you could be caught.
The feeling you get when your somewhere you know you're not suposed to be, or doing something you haven't tried before, things that your iffy about but curious . . and its that curious feeling that makes you want it, makes it seem so damn irrisistable.
The bad that conjours up images of darkness, stilletos, black eyeliner and red lipstick and cigarette smoke, concealed smirks and laughter. whispers and moonlight.
cheekyness, with a chaser of untamed excitement.
And tomorow back to the boring exsistance of the world as we know it. . .
LARMA LARMA LARMA LARMA. .. . .
ok now thats out of the way . . Ive been beading stuff . . stuff all afternoon. . . so its far to say i'm now crazy . . more so than normal. . . . and i seem to have used an excessive amount of . . .'s . . . hmm . . .
Ok. well i'm a little bit lonely at the moment. i dont know why. i jsut feel . . lonely. its a strange thing really. i mean everyones home, but i feel like i'm lonely. like somethings not quite right.
i would love to move out of home. i really would. its not because i dont like home, its jsut it feels crowded. i know that sounds so stupid coming from something who feels lonely. but its true . . thats how i feel.
A part of me just wants to start fresh. go out and do things by myself (once again this must sound weird from someone who claims to be lonely. . . ) Then theres the rest of me, which is happy most of tthe time to be safe . . .do safe things, stay in. be polite, smile and jest. . .but then theres this other part that argues with me, always wanting change, excitement. a risk filled thrill.
i dont know. i really dont. i feel lonely, crowded and safe. So, safe is a odd place for that string of emotions, but i do. And i know safe is a good place to be. . . but still, there is that part of me that doesn't want safe. That part that wants risk and trouble and excitement and to try new things. .
You know, the raw, edgy dirty denim risky trouble. . . so not real trouble i guess but the thrilling hot feeling experienced when you do something bad, or risky or taboo . that adrenilin rush that makes your tummy turn and your face flush hot with knowing you could be caught.
The feeling you get when your somewhere you know you're not suposed to be, or doing something you haven't tried before, things that your iffy about but curious . . and its that curious feeling that makes you want it, makes it seem so damn irrisistable.
The bad that conjours up images of darkness, stilletos, black eyeliner and red lipstick and cigarette smoke, concealed smirks and laughter. whispers and moonlight.
cheekyness, with a chaser of untamed excitement.
And tomorow back to the boring exsistance of the world as we know it. . .