It's a quarter to three, and I've got all my friends with me...*
Well no, not really. It's a quarter after 11 and I'm basically alone. Trav's asleep, the gamers have gone home, and my poor meta4life crashed early.
Last time I wrote, I was unsure of what the future held. That was only two months ago, and things are not much more certain. Lets see if I can lay it all out there.
School started on 8/20. Tonia was a sweetheart and bought me some school supplies for my birthday that I would have never bought myself. They make me feel professional and organized. Less like the kid who's parents couldn't buy them the super awesome 96 crayon box.
What was I thinking taking four political science classes? I'm so up to my limit of political interest, and yet I keep finding myself switching to CNN or the Democratic National convention. We watched Romeny's speech in class and I took notes, just in case there was something I wanted to discuss later. I'm not trying to start a political debate, I'm not even expressing an opinion about who I think I'll vote for, I'm simply critiquing his speech. I've never watched one of these before. Was I supposed to hear information? All I heard was a carefully crafted speech designed to make sure that a majority of people felt he had their interest in mind. He glossed over recently controversial issues while playing up on his appreciation for target markets and pushing the public fear buttons. My mind was so busy noticing the obvious social triggers that I can't even tell you now what he spoke about. ...Luckily, I took notes. ;)
I made a friend, Michelle in my classes. She's in 3 of my 4 classes, and while the other "friends" I've made seem to have either dropped, or will so flunk out, Michelle keeps sticking it out and suggesting that we do homework together. It's nice. Rashad is also in those 3 classes and he keeps stopping us in the hall to ask us questions. I think if we come up with any sort of larger project, I'll drag him into our group.
Michelle brings a unique prospective to my life. For example, she knows what teams are in which NCAA conferences... off the top of her head! *shakes head* I had a hard enough time figuring out where to find college game scores.
Community Housing Initiatives didn't hire me. I did continue to volunteer for them up until last week. It just wasn't feeling like the right fit for me. I was bothered by some of the general attitudes of the people in the office. A good excuse came up, and I made a break from them. I told them I'd get back in touch by Christmas, but I'm hoping to have another paying gig lined up by then.
My Public Admin prof called me out on my bullshit. He wasn't the one I expected to see through it. I faked my way through an assignment where he specifically asked us to pick a field of interest or social issue that is important to us. I just kind of glossed over it, and well.. that was the notes in red on the margins, and it was only 90%.
I still don't know what social issue, agenda, department speaks to me. I feel like I don't have the traditional mode of picking. I haven't relied on a social service in the past, I don't have a close friend or relative with a mental or physical handicap. I don't have an automatic in to any particular section of the public sector, and yet I feel like I need to figure out what I want to specialize in. My degree, technically speaking, is economics and finance. I do love money, numbers, math... They never change. They aren't subjective. Maybe I should go down and offer to volunteer at the treasurer's office. Though I think I'd be happier in a non-profit organization, but I don't think I want to Family Management, as much as I admire their work, I don't think I'm cynical enough yet.
Speaking of math, Stats, so far, isn't near as scary as I remember it being before. I knew it was all in my attitude. I knew I just needed to approach it with a more open mind. I tried so hard to do that. It is interesting. And learning the hows in another class helps to link the math and story problems to the gathering of the information, and .. I dunno.. It helps. Having Michelle there to point at buttons when I'm not going fast enough helps, and explaining where I got a percentage to her, helps me think about it too. I'm surprisingly happy in the stats class. Please remind me I said that in another month if I start bitching.
Home, money, friends... The house is.. not as bad as it has been. We eat out less, I cook more, we spend more time together. My friends have flocked to my new schedule and keep me hopping almost every night of the week. Money... money's bad. And I made the bad decision to book a cruise. I did it to please Travis, because he basically said he didn't mind tightening purse strings, but he had really been looking forward to the cruise. Yeah... basically.. I need a job. Somebody needs to pay me money!
Alright.. I've been here long enough. I'm headed for bed. I've got two more days at school and a hopefully quiet weekend. Thank you all for the love and support you've all given me over the last few months. I don't think I'd have been able to keep going on this path of seemingly bad decisions without your encouragement.
*Title from Steve Carlson's Out Here Alone...
Last time I wrote, I was unsure of what the future held. That was only two months ago, and things are not much more certain. Lets see if I can lay it all out there.
School started on 8/20. Tonia was a sweetheart and bought me some school supplies for my birthday that I would have never bought myself. They make me feel professional and organized. Less like the kid who's parents couldn't buy them the super awesome 96 crayon box.
What was I thinking taking four political science classes? I'm so up to my limit of political interest, and yet I keep finding myself switching to CNN or the Democratic National convention. We watched Romeny's speech in class and I took notes, just in case there was something I wanted to discuss later. I'm not trying to start a political debate, I'm not even expressing an opinion about who I think I'll vote for, I'm simply critiquing his speech. I've never watched one of these before. Was I supposed to hear information? All I heard was a carefully crafted speech designed to make sure that a majority of people felt he had their interest in mind. He glossed over recently controversial issues while playing up on his appreciation for target markets and pushing the public fear buttons. My mind was so busy noticing the obvious social triggers that I can't even tell you now what he spoke about. ...Luckily, I took notes. ;)
I made a friend, Michelle in my classes. She's in 3 of my 4 classes, and while the other "friends" I've made seem to have either dropped, or will so flunk out, Michelle keeps sticking it out and suggesting that we do homework together. It's nice. Rashad is also in those 3 classes and he keeps stopping us in the hall to ask us questions. I think if we come up with any sort of larger project, I'll drag him into our group.
Michelle brings a unique prospective to my life. For example, she knows what teams are in which NCAA conferences... off the top of her head! *shakes head* I had a hard enough time figuring out where to find college game scores.
Community Housing Initiatives didn't hire me. I did continue to volunteer for them up until last week. It just wasn't feeling like the right fit for me. I was bothered by some of the general attitudes of the people in the office. A good excuse came up, and I made a break from them. I told them I'd get back in touch by Christmas, but I'm hoping to have another paying gig lined up by then.
My Public Admin prof called me out on my bullshit. He wasn't the one I expected to see through it. I faked my way through an assignment where he specifically asked us to pick a field of interest or social issue that is important to us. I just kind of glossed over it, and well.. that was the notes in red on the margins, and it was only 90%.
I still don't know what social issue, agenda, department speaks to me. I feel like I don't have the traditional mode of picking. I haven't relied on a social service in the past, I don't have a close friend or relative with a mental or physical handicap. I don't have an automatic in to any particular section of the public sector, and yet I feel like I need to figure out what I want to specialize in. My degree, technically speaking, is economics and finance. I do love money, numbers, math... They never change. They aren't subjective. Maybe I should go down and offer to volunteer at the treasurer's office. Though I think I'd be happier in a non-profit organization, but I don't think I want to Family Management, as much as I admire their work, I don't think I'm cynical enough yet.
Speaking of math, Stats, so far, isn't near as scary as I remember it being before. I knew it was all in my attitude. I knew I just needed to approach it with a more open mind. I tried so hard to do that. It is interesting. And learning the hows in another class helps to link the math and story problems to the gathering of the information, and .. I dunno.. It helps. Having Michelle there to point at buttons when I'm not going fast enough helps, and explaining where I got a percentage to her, helps me think about it too. I'm surprisingly happy in the stats class. Please remind me I said that in another month if I start bitching.
Home, money, friends... The house is.. not as bad as it has been. We eat out less, I cook more, we spend more time together. My friends have flocked to my new schedule and keep me hopping almost every night of the week. Money... money's bad. And I made the bad decision to book a cruise. I did it to please Travis, because he basically said he didn't mind tightening purse strings, but he had really been looking forward to the cruise. Yeah... basically.. I need a job. Somebody needs to pay me money!
Alright.. I've been here long enough. I'm headed for bed. I've got two more days at school and a hopefully quiet weekend. Thank you all for the love and support you've all given me over the last few months. I don't think I'd have been able to keep going on this path of seemingly bad decisions without your encouragement.
*Title from Steve Carlson's Out Here Alone...
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