(no subject)
Last night, something really profound happened. You see, a friend of mine sort of bribed me to go to church with them. I did it mainly for the humor in it, I mean $20 to go to a hour long preaching sessions. So anyhow there I was in there.
All the usual stuff happened, the lectures, the false sense of enlightenment, the people sitting there throwing up their hands as they "feel the power of Christ" and so forth. Then we got to my favorite part of church, the point in which they pass around the offering tray.
Yeah, I was thinking about it when it got to me, and thought about what the purpose of offering was. I concluded it was meant to be symbol of the older sacrifices that would take place, and so I thought I would do something funny. I took out my mechanical pencil, and was about to prick my finger so I could put a couple drops of blood in the tray. As I started to though, something odd happened.
This overwhelming feeling of guilt sort of washed over me, all at once. It was really odd, and I realized that a little girl was staring at me. I smiled at her and continued with what I was doing, but as I went do prick myself, again the feeling hit me. There was something about it, something perhaps unnatural. I mean, I've felt guilt before, but never like this, and believe me I've done some pretty guilty worthy things that don't even compare to bleeding in a offering tray.
I couldn't help but to feel that there was something special about this situation. That maybe this feeling was more than just some type of social stigma and societal norms. I mean, there was no reason for something like that to stop me, I never intended to return to that church. Maybe I should reevaluate this whole spiritual stuff...
All the usual stuff happened, the lectures, the false sense of enlightenment, the people sitting there throwing up their hands as they "feel the power of Christ" and so forth. Then we got to my favorite part of church, the point in which they pass around the offering tray.
Yeah, I was thinking about it when it got to me, and thought about what the purpose of offering was. I concluded it was meant to be symbol of the older sacrifices that would take place, and so I thought I would do something funny. I took out my mechanical pencil, and was about to prick my finger so I could put a couple drops of blood in the tray. As I started to though, something odd happened.
This overwhelming feeling of guilt sort of washed over me, all at once. It was really odd, and I realized that a little girl was staring at me. I smiled at her and continued with what I was doing, but as I went do prick myself, again the feeling hit me. There was something about it, something perhaps unnatural. I mean, I've felt guilt before, but never like this, and believe me I've done some pretty guilty worthy things that don't even compare to bleeding in a offering tray.
I couldn't help but to feel that there was something special about this situation. That maybe this feeling was more than just some type of social stigma and societal norms. I mean, there was no reason for something like that to stop me, I never intended to return to that church. Maybe I should reevaluate this whole spiritual stuff...