Why invade?
Ideas I had for the Why might aliens invade a planet thread at RPG.net, gathered in one place:
- Tourism. They've heard about our freaky eclipses and have come to experience them themselves. Naturally, they can't be expected to rough it on a primitive world, so there will have to be some... development.
- Political asylum. The 450 Angstrom faction are being actively suppressed by the 675 Angstrom faction, their rights ignored, their nurdflungs always deprillilated, forced to live in poverty and squalor, simply for their politico-religious beliefs. Since intercepting an old TV broadcast from 1936, they've realised that our otherwise primitive planet has people who share their sophisticated political viewpoint, and have come to seek asylum.
- To sell us useless crap. Worse, dangerous useless crap. Hyperspace transports with inadequate hyperspace shielding; black hole powerplants not actually certified to be run on a planet's surface; industrial robots that can only be controlled via a buggy, alien operating system; synthetic pets that eat vermin and dust... and other pets, and children, and adults if they're allowed to grow too big, just like the owner's manual says in big infra-red letters on the first page, oh, you don't read Galactic-12? Genetic enhancements that have been pirated from the galaxy's biggest genetic engineering conglomerate, who have the galaxy's hungriest lawyers; universal translators that have an unfortunate tendency to translate what a person is thinking rather than saying; handguns powerful enough to stop a tank; grey goo; philosophies; pyramid schemes.
- Refugees. Their planet has been invaded and defeated, so they've fled the invaders and washed up here.
- Prophesy. The Galactic Messiah/Anti-Pope/CEO ("Is this translator podule working properly?") is coming, as They have been prophesied to for the last hundred thousand years, and Earth is currently the best fit for the vaguely-worded, badly translated, and frankly contradictory prophesies that have been circulating around the galaxy all that time. When They come, They will bring peace/plasma/an invoice to the Galaxy, and all shall praise/curse/pay Them.
Of course, there are different factions that each regard all the others as heretics/heretics/differently-paradigmed, so we end up getting multiply invaded and re-invaded, until they realise that the Chosen One was probably Douglas Adams and they missed him, so now they have to find where he'll reincarnate next. - Eviction. This part of the spiral arm is owned by the Persean Co-Optive Planoforming Group, and this planet is due for redevelopment in the next millennium. H. sapiens is therefore illegally occupying said property and is hereby given notice to quit within the next century. Failure to comply will result in forcible removal, fines, and possible imprisonment. Additional penalties may be levied if the squatters have damaged the property either during the occupation or their removal.
- Dolphins. Really, the invaders don't care about us, it's those cetacean hooligans they've had enough of.
Other people's ideas at the link.
Also posted at Dreamwidth, where there are
comments.