Why I'm really "giving up" art
The day before our 5-year anniversary I tried to break up with Morgan because I didn't believe I was good enough for him.
It's sort of a complicated and confusing train of thought that brought us to that point, and even more so as to why we didn't end up breaking up, but the long and short of it is I have become far too dependent on other people's opinions of me. Or rather, I have been struggling with not getting the attention I want from people I don't know on the internet.
It seems retarded, but I have become so DESPERATELY attached to comments on my art telling me my art is cool, and by association I am cool too, that when everyone went into summer mode earlier in the year and disappeared off the net when I needed these comments the most (ie, when I was getting depressed about Morgan's dad getting sick/passing away/my own money problems/ect and started drawing really weird shit no one wanted to comment on) I started to hate myself without the positive affirmations.
For YEARS I have been the poster child of "draw what you want bitch" because honestly, for years I haven't CARED if people LIKE what I'm drawing. I feel really hypocritical that I got to the point where I was believing that an absence of comments in my inbox made me less valuable as a person when in the grand scheme of things I haven't really ever HAD that many people commenting on my work, friends or otherwise.
Anyway, I figured I would tell YOU GUYS the truth, since I sort of lied through my teeth on DA. I mean, what I said on DA was true too, but I should be honest with you guys about the truth behind truths.
I've always believed that you should be happy with yourself as an autonomous individual. Still trying to practice what I preach, but we're getting there.
It's sort of a complicated and confusing train of thought that brought us to that point, and even more so as to why we didn't end up breaking up, but the long and short of it is I have become far too dependent on other people's opinions of me. Or rather, I have been struggling with not getting the attention I want from people I don't know on the internet.
It seems retarded, but I have become so DESPERATELY attached to comments on my art telling me my art is cool, and by association I am cool too, that when everyone went into summer mode earlier in the year and disappeared off the net when I needed these comments the most (ie, when I was getting depressed about Morgan's dad getting sick/passing away/my own money problems/ect and started drawing really weird shit no one wanted to comment on) I started to hate myself without the positive affirmations.
For YEARS I have been the poster child of "draw what you want bitch" because honestly, for years I haven't CARED if people LIKE what I'm drawing. I feel really hypocritical that I got to the point where I was believing that an absence of comments in my inbox made me less valuable as a person when in the grand scheme of things I haven't really ever HAD that many people commenting on my work, friends or otherwise.
Anyway, I figured I would tell YOU GUYS the truth, since I sort of lied through my teeth on DA. I mean, what I said on DA was true too, but I should be honest with you guys about the truth behind truths.
I've always believed that you should be happy with yourself as an autonomous individual. Still trying to practice what I preach, but we're getting there.