Day 3: How not to Draw

[nekosd43]

So the Jackslam took an unexpected turn in that I haven't drawn anything that isn't a robot or pony since my last post.  And when I say "unexpected" I actually mean "completely expected."  But it's taking me into a difficult place, and I feel like I would be amiss not to document it, even if it isn't strictly an "art" post.

I am the kind of person

Comments

[neogeen]

I wish I could help you better through this. I'm not sure the best advice or even a direction to lead you to (maybe my brain is just too fuzzy a the moment for any anecdotal advice, I apologize!).

I wonder, have you ever read a book called "Art & Fear"? I don't know if the writing would cater to you or if it would help in anyway, but it is my safety blanket when it comes to art. My copy is worn out, I underline and write (and date) relevant thoughts into the margins. Sometimes when I have a rough day concerning making things I just open to a page and read a random paragraph. Something I read what I had to say myself instead.

If you don't have it I'd like to give it to you through Amazon or such. Don't feel it is a burden, It's an item I pass on to a lot of people having rough spots with art. And don't feel you have to like it, it may not be for everyone. It is certainly not a band-aid. It just helps me, so maybe it'll help you?

I do worry for you sometimes, because sometimes you have a lot of lashing out (or at least, those are the moments I see the most of, I understand I don't and can't see your general life!). I want to help, but not sure how. If you ever have direct questions, just email me or msg me on steam, we can talk it out somehow.

There are a lot of sentences here I would break down and ask questions of, but I don't want to be rude or step on any toes. Maybe that would be a place for you to start searching?

[nekosd43]

It's okay. I realize a lot of what I say online is extremely potent and in the moment because I'm really discouraged from talking about my feelings and concerns in my day-to-day life. Online is the only place I'm allowed to "say" what I think right now, so I do tend to get a little heated, and I know the bad always seem to outweigh the good things. I try not to be consistently negative, but when you can't be angry on the outside this is what happens.

I was going to turn you down, but after looking at the book listing on Amazon, I think I would like to read that book. It seems like something I need to at least give a look. I have a lot of thinking to do about what being an "artist" means to me, and what that means in terms of "artistry" VS "craftsmanship". I also need to do a lot of thinking about what it is about this that fills me with so much anxiety.

I realize the moment has passed, but if I ever say something odd and you want to dissect it, I wouldn't find that strange or rude at all. I know I've saved a copy of this so I can return to the thoughts that I had, and really think about WHY I wrote things the way that I did, and how I can approach this so I can find an answer I'm happy with.