Dreams

[nekopurinchan]

Some days I'm just really tired of chasing after the American Dream. And it's not necessarily that I just want to give up on everything (though I do feel this way sometimes). It's just that I feel unsettled by the idea that this is all I will contribute to the world. Isn't there something more meaningful I could be doing right now? I could be

Comments

[hikage_no_hana]

I actually didn't realize you were much of an activist. o.o

But I know exactly how you feel. I've felt that way since going to main campus. I hated giving up doing all the other volunteer work and things I used to do. Something to give back. Even though far less year after year. And then I think it all stopped starting graduate school.

It really blows actually. I keep feeling antsy about all the ideas and things I've wanted to do. Wondering why I don't just go for it. All the plans I have for helping others who have been like myself or worse off.

It's sad I've never given any of it a try... and some days I think I won't.

But I feel ya. It happens. I just try to keep thinking that the idea is eventually with this degree I will get to that point, be in a position where I can really help some people. It just takes some time.

That is hard though if you don't feel that any of this is worth anything. And I hate to say it but if that isn't a fleeting feeling then, yea, possibly should consider going after something else. You'd be better at it when you're more passionate about it. I don't really have that in me. And I still feel this feeling of "I'm not finished and there is something more to be had here" when it comes to grad school. Despite all the frustrations and depression.

Maybe for you it's just that anti-climatic feeling washing over. You've done the hard part of becoming a candidate. It's only natural to question what we do.

And maybe it would make you feel better to get out there some. You don't have my transportation issues so you can probably find ways and places to volunteer some time and help out with a program to give you some balance. I wish I could... but it is surprisingly hard to do. >.