Apr 05, 2009 20:17
You wake up, put your left arm in the air. You want the right one to do the same, but there is no reaction. You touch the arm, but the brain doesn't register it. You take back the agile arm, removing crutch and you see the upper limb in a moment of inertia, falls and waves. You take the the arm again, holding it by forearm and before your eyes emerges a view of inertia hand that doesn't listen to the orders from 'above'. You touch, and touch, and touch and get the feeling that part of yourself is made from rubber that is only attached with the rest of you but totally alien, having its own 'life' not cooperating with you. You are scared to get up, not sure if you will make a step the arm will 'follow' you.
A thought reaches you that from now on you will need to live with only one useful arm. You need to give up with the things you've done so far, because now you aren't able to do them. You panic. Your eyes look on the 'rubber' hand, the brain sends signals, you feel pins and needles, a signal that the blood circulation started to work again. You try one more time. Pain comes from the arm, and on your face shows a smile. Negative thoughts fade away. Left arm moves up and down, just as you wanted.
Your memory is still full of the moment of powerless. You analyze. Another smile shows on your face. Strange feeling of not being able to move an arm. Stranger was touching the hand and having the impression of ruberness, the same rubber as you remember from childhood as you played with dolls of newborn...
life