some people will never change
I wanted to check how is he doing. (MISTAKE! Kami! Remember, DON'T be curious...!) He said a lot of times that he changed, that he understood what he has done bad, that he has no alcohol problem anymore.
I needed one second to know that all that was lies. Well almost all, indeed he changed but on the outside, now he looks like a bum... last time I saw him he seemed that he found a path in his life, a path that has not much to do with me, but now...
The first look into his eyes, and I see tears that want to come out. He couldn't believe that I actually came to meet with him. Just like in the moment he saw me one of his dreams came true... I know that he had high hopes afterward, although I did nothing to arouse them, on the contrary I was cold and distant... but oh well, from that man I shouldn't expect anything else.
The conversation was forced... on the way to the meeting I wondered if we will have any topics to talk about. And I couldn't find any in my mind...
so we talked about movies, I asked few questions about his current life and I observed his reactions... and I need to say that it hurt me, it was the same him that made me leave him... psychotic, schizophrenic, drunk, pathetic... I know that I looked at him with pity and disgust. But that didn't stop him from making declarations. After 30 minutes he finally said it: "Will you consider coming back to me?" (WTF?! O_o LOL) I smirked and said: "No." It needs to be true that when a woman is nice to a man, he takes it as an invitation... I heard about 20 love declarations during 80 minutes and I saw at least the same amount of times as he wipes down his tears. I was adamant to it, it irritated me to be true... all I wished for was that meeting to end as soon as possible.
But that was not the worst part. Traumatic moment was when he ordered diner for us. When the food arrived he acted just like he always did when I gave him dinner and he was drunk... I won't write the details, all you should know that it wasn't a pleasant site. I felt the same thing today as I did few years ago, anger mixed with embarrassment... in next moment a woman came to our table and asked me can she sit next to us, because there aren't any free places left. I have nothing against it, but she just wanted to ask because me and him could have a 'romantic dinner' and she didn't wanted to interrupt... I looked at the man sitting in front of me and laughed sarcastically, it was really a 'romantic dinner'...
When we rode the tramp and he stood very close to me I felt the stink of alcohol, and few hours later, I still feel it... It made me sick. You made it, the last thing I remember is that you make me sick.
I needed one second to know that all that was lies. Well almost all, indeed he changed but on the outside, now he looks like a bum... last time I saw him he seemed that he found a path in his life, a path that has not much to do with me, but now...
The first look into his eyes, and I see tears that want to come out. He couldn't believe that I actually came to meet with him. Just like in the moment he saw me one of his dreams came true... I know that he had high hopes afterward, although I did nothing to arouse them, on the contrary I was cold and distant... but oh well, from that man I shouldn't expect anything else.
The conversation was forced... on the way to the meeting I wondered if we will have any topics to talk about. And I couldn't find any in my mind...
so we talked about movies, I asked few questions about his current life and I observed his reactions... and I need to say that it hurt me, it was the same him that made me leave him... psychotic, schizophrenic, drunk, pathetic... I know that I looked at him with pity and disgust. But that didn't stop him from making declarations. After 30 minutes he finally said it: "Will you consider coming back to me?" (WTF?! O_o LOL) I smirked and said: "No." It needs to be true that when a woman is nice to a man, he takes it as an invitation... I heard about 20 love declarations during 80 minutes and I saw at least the same amount of times as he wipes down his tears. I was adamant to it, it irritated me to be true... all I wished for was that meeting to end as soon as possible.
But that was not the worst part. Traumatic moment was when he ordered diner for us. When the food arrived he acted just like he always did when I gave him dinner and he was drunk... I won't write the details, all you should know that it wasn't a pleasant site. I felt the same thing today as I did few years ago, anger mixed with embarrassment... in next moment a woman came to our table and asked me can she sit next to us, because there aren't any free places left. I have nothing against it, but she just wanted to ask because me and him could have a 'romantic dinner' and she didn't wanted to interrupt... I looked at the man sitting in front of me and laughed sarcastically, it was really a 'romantic dinner'...
When we rode the tramp and he stood very close to me I felt the stink of alcohol, and few hours later, I still feel it... It made me sick. You made it, the last thing I remember is that you make me sick.