For Becky...and ONLY BeckyamberchanOctober 22 2004, 16:14:55 UTC
Yah really don't get it...I don't want your friendship whenever I need it. I want your friendship always, to have somebody for the good and bad times. ¿I'm mad because you don't cry over Andrew? ¿I don't think you're and Andrew's relationship is as good as mine? DEF NOT! I love seeing you and Andrew when you're together because you guys are so happy and it's wonderful. I don’t want you to cry over Andrew!
The reason why I get upset is because while you have people surrounding you everyday to have fun and smoke up and what not I feel like I don't have anyone. I'm not going to initiate our friendship everytime.
"It also upsets me that she's so sad all the time, and always just talks about how much distance sucks, and how Brett is her only friend, the only one she can trust, etc. It pisses me off because I try to be there for her. I try hard."
HOW?!?!?! We don't talk and when we do it's nice but it doesn't make up for all that lost time. Do you help because I tell you a lil bit about what's going on in my mind? I really don’t tell you much of anything. How can I trust you?! You say that Chris is so mean and like Travis...no he is not! If anyone is like Travis it's you. The reason why I know you talk shit because I can see it in your eyes. The reason why I started talking shit is because I knew you were talkin shit about me. You say you try so hard yet I never told you about Josh this summer despite the chance to. You really don't call. You just want your alone time with Christov so I mean hey do what you want like I know you will. And I KNOW that you’re gonna talk shit about this fight to Travis driving up to school in the morning like I’m sure you’re done plenty of mornings.
"And it pisses me off like no other that I was with Andrew for about a year, solid, just us, together every damn day. And he's a 13 hour drive from here. I can't see him unless I've got like a 4 day weekend because it is seriously so hard. Yet, Amber and Brett have just 're-discovered' one another, and Amber just thinks about how it sucks that Brett is so far away, when he's a few hours away, and she can go anytime she has a free day. It's like a punch in the gut everytime she's crying that Brett's SO far away, when I can't see Andrew more than once a month probaby, at best."
No offense but I just wanna say fuck you to this part of your post. Like you said you and Andrew were together, SOLID, for about a year, no distance, you had a real relationship!...maybe you don't get it...in fact I know you don't. Brett and I have never had that chance. Oh we got the summer before college, a few weeks for Christmas. Maybe you don't get it that when our distance first started I couldn't see him but every month or so. I rode the Greyhound bus system to go see him which is not reliable because they're always late from their departure time! Becky maybe you don't understand that now a free day is hard to come by when I have to work all weekend because I HAVE to pay my bills, which I am not complaining about but my free days are harder to come by. I have Wednesdays but I also have to do work for school...I need to run errands that I've been meaning to do. He also has baseball, which is almost over but when it comes around it’s hard.
Brett and I are finally closer to one another and both of us have transportation where I didn't before. While he was a Tech he would come see me as often as he could. But at DelTech, not only was it his spring season for baseball which is the biggest season, but I didn't have a car while he was 7 hours away so I rarely got to see him at all.
And I do not put you guys down, I just don't think you realize how hard it really is and I know that...but you will realize but I just wish that you didn't have to.
Do not criticize me when it comes to me being sad he's so far away because regardless of how much space there is between me and Brett and you and Andrew the point is we can see each other as often as we'd like to. DO NOT put me down because I'm at a weak point in my life and I’m just searching for help from someone. I'm fed up with distance...it's been goin on for too long...YOURS on the other hand just started so why you're criticizing me really makes so sense at all.
Re: For Becky...and ONLY BeckyamberchanOctober 22 2004, 16:15:13 UTC
It’s like whenever shit sucks for me you find ways to make yours sound worse like I really shouldn’t be complaining about it and how it hurts you even more. Just do me a favor and BE my friend and stop talking about it.
"Oh, and by meeting him, she sees the awesome amount of flaws in all her friends now because he's so glorious. That's crazy. Don't be friends with us if we have all these flaws and shortcomings. And don't say that you don't mind that we're not perfect, because you do. Amber does mind."
There you're just being a bitch. All my friends have been forced to leave for some reason or another except there are a few of them still here in Stafford. Chris and I chill. Travis isn't my friend. Kari and I are chillin tonight. You and I don't chill and when we do I don't feel comfortable around you. I feel like I'm constantly being judged because everything I do annoys you. That's the honest truth. Why? I don't know. Could I be wrong? I don't know. Because either way that's how you make me feel. Whenever we have different views on things you have this tendency to talk down to me...but you do that with everyone so I don't take that personally, it's just frustrating.
The only reason why you don't live up to him is only because I really don't feel like you're apart of my life. And that’s all I want, for you to BE apart of my life. You're there physically occasionally but are you apart of it? Doesn’t feel like it. If I wanted to I could tell Maile anything...I could talk to her about Josh or Brett and she can talk to me about things and it's fine. With you, I can't. It's like this warning light goes off because you really don't want to hear about it and if you pretend like you do then you'll just belittle it later behind my back. It kills me how you do that.
I'm just lonely and it hurts because we say we're friends but friends don't let their friends stay lonely. You don't let Christov be sad because you know he just got fired, yet you haven't been there for anything for me. It's like the things I'm upset about i shouldn't and I just need to get over it because what I think is stupid.
It's a punch in the face when you don't call, or when you have plans with everyone else but me. It's a punch in the face when I decide to confide in you because I need a friend yet know you talk shit about it. It’s a punch in the face I tell you I seriously get depressed when I smoke and shit and how sometimes I really do feel like I suffer from mild depression and you tell me I should go talk to a GMU counselor because they’re really good to talk to. It’s a punch in my face because I thought that’s what friends were for.
Re: For Becky...and ONLY BeckyvallickOctober 22 2004, 19:44:20 UTC
wow....wow, just a couple small things...i have had a long distance relationship, and i have actually maintained that relationship/friendship for about 5 years....
also, i dont do what everyone says, most of the time, i do my own thing, the opposite, cuz it seems like everyone always tells me that im always on my own page.
i've always been your friend amber, you're the one that blows up on people like this. my opinions are my own, and im allowed to them, just like you are allowed to yours. if becky didnt want this out in the open, then she wouldnt have posted it on her LJ, for EVERYONE to see, and for ANYONE to comment on. so, i had a right to get involved, especially when one of my friends that i care about, is feeling upset.
im not a backstabber...because i do not talk about people behind their back. i make sure everyone knows what i think about them up front.
you are the one that cant take this shit. from what i hear, brett doesnt even consider you guys together. so, dont attack me.
ive always been supportive of whatever you have done, and dont ever fucking say that i havent been, because i always have been, ive always been there for you to call and give advice to. but that doesnt mean that i have my opinion on whats going on up there. i can say whatever the fuck i want.
also, you get mad and upset when becky doesnt get upset over the fact that her and andrew are apart? because the only way to deal with a long distance relationship is by crying about it all the time to your friends, and comparing their relationship with yours? i dont think so. everyone deals with it in a different way, theirs is just more healthy then yours.
im not going to complain to my friends down here about you and the drama up there, because they wouldnt care. you are all just names to them, ghosts, they dont care. thats just what you would do. not me.
if you havent noticed in the last couple years of knowing me, im not a follower, i dont just turn and do whatever the 'crowd' is doing, usually, if the situation isnt under my control, and the group is doing something i dont like, or different, i throw a temper tantrum and leave, i dont 'follow' the group, i never have and i never will.
but this time, it was you who threw the temper tantrum, not me. i was only consoling a friend when she was upset.
Re: For Becky...and ONLY BeckyvallickOctober 22 2004, 19:52:13 UTC
also, you just turn on your 'friendship' light whenever you feel like it, you've done it with me, you did it with becky, you've done it with mailie, you do it all the time. before kari left, you and becky both did it to her. that might be a reason that becky talks shit about you, which honestly, i think is mostly in your head, andrew and i are probably the two CLOSEST people in the world to her, and she doesnt talk much shit to us about you. but you always THINK that people do, because you dont trust ANYONE, except the person that you're involved with at the time, and you usually overtrust them, and it always gets you hurt.
becky and other people have a problem with listening to you, because there is a trend that we have seen in your life of not learning from your mistakes. you never do. we try to help, and you accept our help for a short period of time, and then its like you forget.
also, every time anyone writes in a post something that could closely relate to you, you take it as meaning you and ONLY you, which is also a problem you have. this isnt always the case......dont forget that.
Re: For Becky...and ONLY BeckyvallickOctober 22 2004, 19:55:27 UTC
oh also, that long distance relationship thing...yeah, im in one right now. so dont fucking talk that shit to me. get YOUR facts straight, and dont ever, ever fucking outright attack me again. because i didnt attack you.
all of the times....ALL of the fucking times where i have sat and listened to your problems when you didnt tell them to anyone else, and i was YOUR friend...and you say this shit to me? that...THAT is bullshit.
Re: For Becky...and ONLY BeckyamberchanOctober 23 2004, 01:32:17 UTC
yah know Drew I haven't read a fuckin thing you said...but I find it funnny how you reply on the comment I write entitled "For Becky...and ONLY Becky"...get the fuck out
still deciding if I'll read your shit...oh no...I'm definetly not because it's not worth my time
Re: For Becky...and ONLY BeckyvallickOctober 23 2004, 10:39:56 UTC
amber, you just totally proved every point about you that i came up with in all the posts that YOU refuse to read. i dont care that you dont read them...but this time, this whole thing came back and bit you in the ass. it seems like you just lost three or more friends...so, have fun with mailie(who is actually, a totally awesome person, and all that CRAZY shit you were talkin behind her back, was total bullshit) and brett, cuz from what i hear, that relationship is NOT gonna last, cuz, secretly, he doesnt want it to!
im amazed that Kari is even talking to you, after all the shit you put her through before she fucking left for bootcamp. all the shit you talked about her.
i guess its a good thing that Kari can forgive people for their problems, whereas you cant.
we were all trying to be your fucking friends, but if you are gonna act like.....you....then fine, this is what gets thrown back in your face.
Re: For Becky...and ONLY BeckyamberchanOctober 23 2004, 12:03:48 UTC
Becky - You obviously don't know how to read either...was I mad that Drew put in his opinion...no...now why was I mad...well considering he ALWAYS has some fuckin bullshit comment to say to Chelly about never getting in the middle of fights and this is what he's doing...he is not apart of this and putting himself in a fight in which he doesn't belong in the middle of it in the first place because this is between you and me
Drew - Maybe you don't get it...Kari doesn't like you! You're the prick that tried to insult her when talking to her on-line. Kari and I have been able to have our differences and at the end of it all put it aside because she's my girl. Maile and I are friends now and we're actually doing really well. We had our differences because I didn't know why she was mad and wouldn't talk to me until one day she told me and everything cleared up because it was a stupid misunderstanding.
And for real fuck...if you really think that Brett doesn't want to be with me then why don't you fucking ask him yourself since you think you know everything. Get his opinion and apologize to me later.
Re: For Becky...and ONLY BeckyvallickOctober 23 2004, 13:31:22 UTC
first off, i wasnt trying to insult Kari online, after she signed off quickly, i realized thats what she thought i was doing, but that wasnt the case at all, she signed off before i had a chance to tell her the end of what i was going to say, so for her thinking im a prick, fine, its ok, id rather she not, because i valued her friendship. but you amber, i will never apologize to, because, this is my opinion, and if you dont like it, fine. fuck you too.
The reason why I get upset is because while you have people surrounding you everyday to have fun and smoke up and what not I feel like I don't have anyone. I'm not going to initiate our friendship everytime.
"It also upsets me that she's so sad all the time, and always just talks about how much distance sucks, and how Brett is her only friend, the only one she can trust, etc. It pisses me off because I try to be there for her. I try hard."
HOW?!?!?! We don't talk and when we do it's nice but it doesn't make up for all that lost time. Do you help because I tell you a lil bit about what's going on in my mind? I really don’t tell you much of anything. How can I trust you?! You say that Chris is so mean and like Travis...no he is not! If anyone is like Travis it's you. The reason why I know you talk shit because I can see it in your eyes. The reason why I started talking shit is because I knew you were talkin shit about me. You say you try so hard yet I never told you about Josh this summer despite the chance to. You really don't call. You just want your alone time with Christov so I mean hey do what you want like I know you will. And I KNOW that you’re gonna talk shit about this fight to Travis driving up to school in the morning like I’m sure you’re done plenty of mornings.
"And it pisses me off like no other that I was with Andrew for about a year, solid, just us, together every damn day. And he's a 13 hour drive from here. I can't see him unless I've got like a 4 day weekend because it is seriously so hard.
Yet, Amber and Brett have just 're-discovered' one another, and Amber just thinks about how it sucks that Brett is so far away, when he's a few hours away, and she can go anytime she has a free day.
It's like a punch in the gut everytime she's crying that Brett's SO far away, when I can't see Andrew more than once a month probaby, at best."
No offense but I just wanna say fuck you to this part of your post. Like you said you and Andrew were together, SOLID, for about a year, no distance, you had a real relationship!...maybe you don't get it...in fact I know you don't. Brett and I have never had that chance. Oh we got the summer before college, a few weeks for Christmas. Maybe you don't get it that when our distance first started I couldn't see him but every month or so. I rode the Greyhound bus system to go see him which is not reliable because they're always late from their departure time! Becky maybe you don't understand that now a free day is hard to come by when I have to work all weekend because I HAVE to pay my bills, which I am not complaining about but my free days are harder to come by. I have Wednesdays but I also have to do work for school...I need to run errands that I've been meaning to do. He also has baseball, which is almost over but when it comes around it’s hard.
Brett and I are finally closer to one another and both of us have transportation where I didn't before. While he was a Tech he would come see me as often as he could. But at DelTech, not only was it his spring season for baseball which is the biggest season, but I didn't have a car while he was 7 hours away so I rarely got to see him at all.
And I do not put you guys down, I just don't think you realize how hard it really is and I know that...but you will realize but I just wish that you didn't have to.
Do not criticize me when it comes to me being sad he's so far away because regardless of how much space there is between me and Brett and you and Andrew the point is we can see each other as often as we'd like to. DO NOT put me down because I'm at a weak point in my life and I’m just searching for help from someone. I'm fed up with distance...it's been goin on for too long...YOURS on the other hand just started so why you're criticizing me really makes so sense at all.
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"Oh, and by meeting him, she sees the awesome amount of flaws in all her friends now because he's so glorious. That's crazy. Don't be friends with us if we have all these flaws and shortcomings. And don't say that you don't mind that we're not perfect, because you do. Amber does mind."
There you're just being a bitch. All my friends have been forced to leave for some reason or another except there are a few of them still here in Stafford. Chris and I chill. Travis isn't my friend. Kari and I are chillin tonight. You and I don't chill and when we do I don't feel comfortable around you. I feel like I'm constantly being judged because everything I do annoys you. That's the honest truth. Why? I don't know. Could I be wrong? I don't know. Because either way that's how you make me feel. Whenever we have different views on things you have this tendency to talk down to me...but you do that with everyone so I don't take that personally, it's just frustrating.
The only reason why you don't live up to him is only because I really don't feel like you're apart of my life. And that’s all I want, for you to BE apart of my life. You're there physically occasionally but are you apart of it? Doesn’t feel like it. If I wanted to I could tell Maile anything...I could talk to her about Josh or Brett and she can talk to me about things and it's fine. With you, I can't. It's like this warning light goes off because you really don't want to hear about it and if you pretend like you do then you'll just belittle it later behind my back. It kills me how you do that.
I'm just lonely and it hurts because we say we're friends but friends don't let their friends stay lonely. You don't let Christov be sad because you know he just got fired, yet you haven't been there for anything for me. It's like the things I'm upset about i shouldn't and I just need to get over it because what I think is stupid.
It's a punch in the face when you don't call, or when you have plans with everyone else but me. It's a punch in the face when I decide to confide in you because I need a friend yet know you talk shit about it. It’s a punch in the face I tell you I seriously get depressed when I smoke and shit and how sometimes I really do feel like I suffer from mild depression and you tell me I should go talk to a GMU counselor because they’re really good to talk to. It’s a punch in my face because I thought that’s what friends were for.
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also, i dont do what everyone says, most of the time, i do my own thing, the opposite, cuz it seems like everyone always tells me that im always on my own page.
i've always been your friend amber, you're the one that blows up on people like this. my opinions are my own, and im allowed to them, just like you are allowed to yours. if becky didnt want this out in the open, then she wouldnt have posted it on her LJ, for EVERYONE to see, and for ANYONE to comment on. so, i had a right to get involved, especially when one of my friends that i care about, is feeling upset.
im not a backstabber...because i do not talk about people behind their back. i make sure everyone knows what i think about them up front.
you are the one that cant take this shit. from what i hear, brett doesnt even consider you guys together. so, dont attack me.
ive always been supportive of whatever you have done, and dont ever fucking say that i havent been, because i always have been, ive always been there for you to call and give advice to. but that doesnt mean that i have my opinion on whats going on up there. i can say whatever the fuck i want.
also, you get mad and upset when becky doesnt get upset over the fact that her and andrew are apart? because the only way to deal with a long distance relationship is by crying about it all the time to your friends, and comparing their relationship with yours? i dont think so. everyone deals with it in a different way, theirs is just more healthy then yours.
im not going to complain to my friends down here about you and the drama up there, because they wouldnt care. you are all just names to them, ghosts, they dont care. thats just what you would do. not me.
if you havent noticed in the last couple years of knowing me, im not a follower, i dont just turn and do whatever the 'crowd' is doing, usually, if the situation isnt under my control, and the group is doing something i dont like, or different, i throw a temper tantrum and leave, i dont 'follow' the group, i never have and i never will.
but this time, it was you who threw the temper tantrum, not me. i was only consoling a friend when she was upset.
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becky and other people have a problem with listening to you, because there is a trend that we have seen in your life of not learning from your mistakes. you never do. we try to help, and you accept our help for a short period of time, and then its like you forget.
also, every time anyone writes in a post something that could closely relate to you, you take it as meaning you and ONLY you, which is also a problem you have. this isnt always the case......dont forget that.
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all of the times....ALL of the fucking times where i have sat and listened to your problems when you didnt tell them to anyone else, and i was YOUR friend...and you say this shit to me? that...THAT is bullshit.
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still deciding if I'll read your shit...oh no...I'm definetly not because it's not worth my time
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im amazed that Kari is even talking to you, after all the shit you put her through before she fucking left for bootcamp. all the shit you talked about her.
i guess its a good thing that Kari can forgive people for their problems, whereas you cant.
we were all trying to be your fucking friends, but if you are gonna act like.....you....then fine, this is what gets thrown back in your face.
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Drew - Maybe you don't get it...Kari doesn't like you! You're the prick that tried to insult her when talking to her on-line. Kari and I have been able to have our differences and at the end of it all put it aside because she's my girl. Maile and I are friends now and we're actually doing really well. We had our differences because I didn't know why she was mad and wouldn't talk to me until one day she told me and everything cleared up because it was a stupid misunderstanding.
And for real fuck...if you really think that Brett doesn't want to be with me then why don't you fucking ask him yourself since you think you know everything. Get his opinion and apologize to me later.
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