Himitsu~Chapter 15
Title: Himitsu
Author: neko-desukara
Pairing: AkaKame
Genre: Romance
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Kamenashi Kazuya disguised as a girl. When Akanishi Jin came, due to some circumstances they acted as a couple. but what if Kame falls for Jin?...
A/N: Arigatou gozaimashita
peace_l0v3 for doing such a great work on beta-ing this chapter^______^ *bows*
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CHAPTER 15:
Summer Vacation is over.
Everyone is excited to see familiar faces once again. The air is filled with noises of people getting thrilled to hear news from their friends and classmates from their own summer vacations.
A new day finally comes. School days starts once again.
A new day for Kame to attend school and face another chapter of his life. The atmosphere seems familiar to him. He’s not popular at their school but since gossip had spread, that he and the most popular guy in their school has something between them, people tend to know him, people he doesn’t even know. But still, he wasn’t been the popular one. He’s nothing but a mere side dish of the apple of everybody’s eyes; and even an eyesore for those people - girls specifically - who wanted his spot to become theirs.
But today is different.
As Kame strides the path towards their classroom, students stopped from walking, or whatever they were doing, throwing their gaze at him, studying him as if he's a new student at their school. The atmosphere became quiet. His steps filled the air this time. All he could hear was his own steps as no one seemed to have the time to gossip around as they fixed their eyes on him. Apparently, couldn’t figure out the familiar yet unfamiliar face they were looking at.
Apparently, everyone’s been hesitating to make their first move to approach him. They wanted to confirm something but they don’t really know how to make a sudden conversation with the person they used to know but then in between confusion if they really know this person walking in front of them.
“Kame-chan!” Minami called. All eyes averted on her. She gave those students who are having a big question mark look on their face, an answer from their unspoken query. They gaze on Kame again, who’s wearing uniform for boys. 'Why is Kame wearing a boy’s uniform? He even looks like a real boy.' Apparently, Kame’s classmates have been sharing the same thought.
“Ohayou.” Kame greeted Minami.
“Ohayou.” Minami greeted back with a smile on her face.
Then Kame’s gaze travels to one particular seat, not minding the other eyes staring at him. He saw Akanishi Jin looking at him. Kame throws his one sweetest smile. But Akanishi answered him with one pierced look.
It’s just been a month. Akanishi was expecting to see Kame still in his gloomy state. But how could Kame smile after what had happened? It doesn’t look like the smile wasn't real. Is it possible for someone who’s hurt to give a genuine smile like that? Not to mention, finding out that you are the reason why your sibling committed suicide? Well, human beings have their own personality as individuals. Maybe Akanishi assumed that Kame would be like his twin… even like him for that matter; that he would be in great pain after his heart shattered; that he won’t get over with the fact that he loved a guy and the fact that he turns gay but only to be played by that person, the first person he put his trust, and heart...
'Did he somehow cope with it…?'
Akanshi hated it. He feels the wrath arousing in his blood, seeing Kame in this different aura than what he expected. It can’t be. Kame should be crying. Kame should be sad. He wanted to see Kame sulking down, depressed, or even gets mad at the world. Why does Kame seems fine?
Akanishi doesn’t know why, but he wants to see Kame in a wreck, the anger inside him won’t vanish if Kame would stay that way…
“Whow!” Hyde-sensei exclaimed when he entered the room without the noise that usually greets him first before he even steps his foot inside the classroom.
“You, young people can be a good students sometimes.” The teacher remarked. Summer break had just ended. Students were expected to be excited seeing their classmates the first day, like when school started. And seeing these students in great silence at the day sensei wouldn’t expect
them to be, is a total shock for Hyde. He looked around, but his eyes suddenly halted from ogling when it was captivated by a figure that seems familiar to him, yet, looks totally different today. 'So that's why.' an answered spoke inside his mind.
“Kamenashi Kazuya.” Hyde-sensei uttered, emphasizing the name.
“Hai.” As Kame stared at the teacher in front of the class. He wonders what thought would be playing inside Hyde-sensei’s head right now. He knows that Hyde-sensei knew his kept secret, but now that he revealed it, he got nervous on how the teacher would react…
“You may take your seat. And the rest of you, please sit down.” Hyde-sensei simply ordered. Kame looked at the rest of the class as the students apparently surrendered as they take their own seats in the process. He then sat down. Except for one.
“Chotto matte!” That male student exclaimed. “Was that it? He,” pointing his finger on Kame’s direction, “is a BOY. He is supposed to be a girl! Wha-Sensei… aren’t you shocked seeing Kamenashi-chan as …a boy?”
“Yeah…” some students agrees in unison…
“Is he really Kamenashi Kazuya?...”
“He is! But why is he not a she? …Is he… a girl trying to look like a boy?...”
“Oi, Oi.” Hyde-sensei stole their attention. “You,” he’s pertaining to the boy who remains standing. “Please take your seat. I’ll start calling the attendance now.” Then he started calling the student’s name alphabetically, as the boy knows he couldn’t do anything anymore, he took his seat with a sigh.
Well, Kame expected that he could cause a scene today. He’s in third year in high school now, and soon will be graduating. But then, the girl Kamenashi Kazuya was the one attending this school when she’s still alive - that was the first and the second year.
Since grade school, the twins were attending different schools. They were both named Kamenashi Kazuya but since they were fraternal twins, Mr. and Mrs. Kamenashi didn’t expect that their twins would grow up having exactly the same face. They do really look alike. Having the face that would look like a girl and a boy at the same time. Having the same name and the same face is hell confusing to others. That’s why they decided that the twins should attend different schools.
After the girl Kame died, their mother seems to have lost her soul with her daughter. She’s crying all day and night. She won’t eat, she won’t stop sobbing, and she doesn’t want to talk to anybody and Kame understands it.
That's what he thought.
When they turn in junior high he was in his grandparents care at their home in the province area. At that time, he doesn’t know why he needed to be sent away, but he doesn’t necessarily care. It simply more like he didn’t think there's something behind all of that for all this time.
He had the idea of putting a disguise for the sake of his mother; so that his mother saw her daughter through him. Kame thought that it would help his mother recover from grieving because he knows that his mother was desperately missing her daughter so much it hurts her. She couldn’t accept the fact that her daughter is gone and won’t be coming back. He knows that his father was secretly weeping behind them, whenever he was alone…
That was what Kame thought all this time.
He never considered the reason why his twin has to commit suicide because he was always answered by his father that they never knew why. If Akanishi Jin didn’t appear before him and never did his vengeance, he wouldn’t know the whole thing about the secret of his family.
He remembers when he tried to ask his father about Kazuya, the girl who was named the same as he is. The one who loved him more than of a sibling’s love and affection. His own twin sister.
~+~
[flashback]
“Oyaji, please tell me… Do you know how Kazuya feels about me?” Kame started right after they made it outside his room, leaving Minami inside. His old man looked at him. Studying his reaction, and why the sudden conversation about his sister. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“Otousan,” Kame speaks with seriousness in his tone. “I need you to be honest with me.” He paused and sigh. “Am I… Am I the reason why she…?”
Kame couldn't utter the word he had in his mind. There’s a moment of silence between them before the old man answered him with another question.
“What is this all about? Who told you such stupid things?” as he tried to sound normal.
“It doesn’t matter who told me. Just answer my question.”
“Why could you be the reason why your sister died? You’re so far away from here when that...that incident occurred-” he was cut off. "Then why did she commit suicide?!"
"We don't know! I don't know..." Kamenashi-san took a deep breath. “Whatever that person told you, whoever he or she might be, that’s bullshit. What does that person know? You don’t necessarily have to believe what ever that person suddenly told you about your sister.”
“Does she love me?...” Kame averted the question to what he wanted to confirm.
“Of course she loves you. We do love you-”
“I mean, romantically?” Kame finished his sentence. “Does she have that kind of feelings toward me?”
Kamenashi-san blew out an exasperated sigh. “I think you’re missing your sister too much today. Just take a rest. I’m actually tired too. Just call me when dinner’s ready, alright.”
“You’re keeping something from me, aren’t you?” Kame stated.
The old man suddenly remembers the girl he saw inside his son’s bedroom. 'Who is she? Was she the one who told Kame these things?' He thought. Looking at his son right now, wearing his own clothes, he doesn’t look like he’s hiding his true identity to that girl.
“Who’s that girl inside your room? Did she tell you these stupid things?”
“She’s my classmate. And she’s got nothing to do with this. Someone told me the TRUTH and it’s not her. I wish you could tell me the truth too.”
“Kazuya,” the old man paused for a moment and never averting his eyes from his son, then he continued. “What makes you think that she or he is telling you the TRUTH? Y'know what? I don’t want to continue this conversation. Go back inside your room. Get some rest and forget about this-”
“Why won't you tell me?!” Kame yelled, irritated. “Why won’t you tell me about her? Why aren't you telling me what I should know? Why did you send me to Baa-san’s house? Why can't I stay with you here back then? Because you're keeping something from me. I was needed by my sister." There's a sudden crack from his voice, "If… If I’m just here… If I stayed beside her, maybe she wouldn’t think to…” he couldn't finish his sentence...
“I said go back to your room.” Kamenashi-san said firmly. He doesn’t have the heart to have this conversation with his son about the past… “This conversation is over.” Then he turned around and started walking away before he couldn’t escape from his son’s query.
“Fine! But this talk is not over unless you tell me why you’re doing this. Because I need to know!” he yelled at the back of his father’s figure. He then faces the door of his own room and opens it.
A force smile on Minami’s face greets him when he steps inside his room.
“H-Hi…” Minami nervously greets him. Kame assumes that Minami heard the whole conversation he had with his father, that’s why Minami’s kind of acting weird.
“Gomen…” She bows. “I didn't mean to hear you from here, but you suddenly left me there, then you suddenly started having some serious conversations with your father just outside this room. I couldn’t let my self popped out there in the middle of your hot discussion. So I stayed there…
Sumimasen…”
“Don’t worry. It’s not something that you didn’t know yet.”
Minami stared at Kamenashi.
"What?" Kame asked.
"Are you okay?"
"I'd like to say 'I'm okay' but, everything feels like a mess right now."
“So… you really think that Akanishi-kun is telling the truth about why your sister died?” Minami asked.
“More or less, yeah.” Kame answered. “Based on oyaji's reaction, I can see that he's hiding something, and that he's affected from what I had said."
“Kame-kun…" Minami started.
"What?"
"Eeumm...Y'know, it’s already in the past now. Do you still want to relive it? I mean, asking your Dad would bring him back sad memories. He lost your mother not too long ago when your twin sister passed away…”
“I lost mom too. And I don’t mean to bring him his blue days. I’m sad too, you know. And it even hurts to think that I’m the reason why Kazuya…” again Kame's lost in words… He looked down. The realization suddenly strike him - that he’s the reason why his sister… died… suddenly he couldn't breathe, and the pain is stirring up inside his chest. He was supposed to protect his only sister against any harm. But he didn't. He haven't done anything but cause her the pain she couldn’t handle herself…
“I haven’t been a good brother to her…” Kame murmured.
Minami sympathizes with her friend… she put her arms around her poor classmate and put Kame in a tight warm embrace. This is all she could do to console him.
“It’s not your fault." She patted Kame’s back in the process. “Don’t blame your self. I understand how you feel. Don’t worry; everything's going to be alright.”
…
When Minami knows that Kame feels a little better, she pulls herself away from him.
“Sorry-” she said but suddenly interrupted.
“Thank you. Thank you for being here.”
Minami smiled, so touched from Kame’s words. Then she got a moment to stare at the boy’s face.
“Kamenashi - I mean, your sister really do look like you. Look at you, why did God created you two like this?”
“What do you mean?" Kame seems to forget his worries.
“You’re handsome! If our girl classmates could see this side of you, you’ll definitely gain popularity like Akanishi for sure. And yet you have such a beautiful face!”
“You’re praising me too much.”
“Why don’t you show them this side of yours this time? And stop pretending to be your sister.”
“I can’t.”
“But why...”
Why… Kame thought. He started disguising because of his sick mother. Since his mother passed away, he doesn’t know why he didn’t stop this whole pretending. No one asked him to stop but now. And why couldn’t he stop…? There’s no sense on continuing his disguised for so long now…
“Why don’t you start to share your own world now, not other’s world. Start moving your own life. Put an end to Kamenashi Kazuya’s high school life and establish yours as the real Kamenashi Kazuya that you are. Try to look at it as your starting point. Beginnings came from ends after all.”
~+~
The next morning, Kame was called to the Principal’s office. He was accompanied by Hyde-sensei, leaving the rest of his students doing self study.
“This is disrespectful!” The principal exclaimed. “Don’t you know when to stop and think before you act? Do you know what you’ve done? You made us believed that you’re really a girl and that you’re the same student attending our school for the last two years.
Kame doesn’t know how to answer. He couldn’t think of anything to say. Why never prepare from all of this before deciding to make a change on his life? And now, where should he start explaining to the principal what he’d done and why he’d done it… This is a serious matter. Only necessary word should be spoken out.
The principal started talking again, “You’re not just fooling yourself or your classmates here. This is a mere act of showing your disrespect on your teachers, on me, and even in our school!” The principal stated infuriatingly.
Hyde-sensei tried to clear his throat. “Uhmm… Excuse me…”
“Do you want to say something, Hyde-sensei?” The principal asked.
“Ah, yes. Actually, I’m aware of what Kamenashi-kun did. We have kept it low due to some circumstances. I’m aware of what’s going on. Kamenashi-kun hasn’t done it for fun or something like that. He’d done that because he needed to and it concerns his family. His father actually talked to me and asked for permission for Kamenashi-kun to do something like this. I can assure you that Kamenashi-kun didn’t do it to cause trouble for any of us.”
The principal alternately stared at Hyde-sensei and the controversial student in front of her. Seemingly seizing the truth written on their faces, she sighed. “Alright. If what you did has a reason, and Hyde-sensei acknowledged it, fine. I won’t give you suspension, but,” she stared at Kame. “you better give people around you a better explanation. They won’t stop bugging you unless you gave them a satisfying answer.”
“I certainly will. Thank you very much for understanding.” Then he bows deeply.
~+~
Kame was the first one who stepped out from the faculty room but he waited outside for his teacher. He wanted to give his gratitude for saving his life from the sudden judgment day a while ago.
The door opened. Hyde-sensei stepped out from it. When the door closed, Kame abruptly bows his head.
“Arigatou gozaimashita!” He thanked him with full respect.
“Lift your head up, Kamenashi-kun. I haven’t done anything, really.” He scratches his head unconsciously.
“But you saved me in there! I actually lost of words and I don’t know if I would be forgiven if not for you.” Kame said as they started walking back to their classroom.
“Really? But you just have to tell her the truth. You’ve done nothing wrong, well, in my point of view. You’ve just done it because some situation calls for it. You did what you think is right.”
Kame suddenly halted. “Do you know… what happened to my family?” Kame remembers what Hyde-sensei said that his father asked him for permission. What permission? Kame never bothered to ask consent of his father before doing it. It was all his own idea. Maybe Hyde-sensei knows something he didn’t.
The teacher stopped from walking and turns around to look at him.
“You know why I disguised as my twin sister?" Kame repeated the question. "How…How did you know...?”
“Whow! Easy.” Hyde-sensei chuckled. “It’s not that I know everything. I mean, I don’t know anything! I just found out from your record that you’re not a girl, and there’s also a file that has the same name as you. You have the same name and you have the same look. But your records stated that you’re a transferee, and the other one is an old student from this school. From there I found out that you're twins and at that time, I was eager to know more. Then I talked to you and tried searching about the other Kamenashi Kazuya as well. Then, I found out that she committed suicide, and then your mother got sick. Afterwards, you started attending this school in disguise. Your mother died in depression. It’s really kind of simple to understand why you have that idea - the disguise thing.”
“So my father didn’t ask you anything, like what you’ve said to the principal?”
“No. He didn’t.”
“Is… that all you know?”
Hyde-sensei looked at Kame, studying what reaction his face was showing. “What? There's still more?” He asked.
“Ah... No-” he was stopped when Hyde's finger suddenly popped in front of his face.
“Sou ka! There's still something missing. Your twin sister committed suicide, right? But why? Does she have a huge burden she couldn't handle?”
The teacher suddenly got all hype-up to know the missing pieces. He was able to know Kame disguised himself as a girl and then he found out that there is actually a girl Kame who was attending their school from previous year, but the girl suddenly ended her life. He was curious to know the story behind it, but Kame doesn't have a plan on giving an answer to that question. He doesn't even want to talk about it, it's just too personal.
Kame was in deep thought. He was not gonna talk about his sister's death, but he hesitated on whether to say no to his teacher..
Hyde-sensei noticed the hesitation and he realized that the question he threw was stepping inside Kamenashi's border line, which he wasn't supposed to do.
“Ah... Gomen. I wasn't suppose to meddling into someone's life. I'm really sorry.”
Kame smiles. “Thank you.” he said.
~+~
Another day had passed. Everything has been okay. Kame's issue has been settled down and nobody talks about it anymore.
Kame suddenly becomes popular with girls, but his attitude apparently didn't change much. He doesn't want attention and the only person who could speak to him normally was Minami. The other girls wanted to do the same, but too indecisive to get close to him. Maybe because he never smiled at them. He never even spare a glance on them, only giving glances to the same person.
But unfortunately, Kame and Akanishi's relationship doesn't have any improvement. Apparently, the latter is still angry with him for some reason.
Akanishi put back his emotionless stare and look straight to Kame's eyes.
Kame on the other hand, felt kind of disappointed. It's been two weeks after their summer break, and Akanishi is still cold towards him. But then again, the smile curve on his lips when the thought of being able to see Akanishi crosses his mind. It doesn't matter if the taller boy won't pay attention to him, all he ever wanted is to see Akanishi moved on.
The smaller boy then took his seat just beside Akanishi Jin's. Even though they weren't talking, being next to Akanishi somehow feels a little better.
Kame still feels the same way towards him, but he feels that he's okay now, and what he was hoping for is for Akanishi to move on as well.
Apparently, the taller boy did. He's talking with everyone except for Kame. Even so, that's way better, Kame thought.
~+~
The half of the day passed as usual with listening from teacher's lectures from the first three subjects. It is the time for their lunch and Kame now is packing his things back to his bag before they went to cafeteria to grab some food for his lunch. Before he was even done from what he was doing, a bentou box suddenly appeared on top of his table. He lift up his gaze and saw Minami smiling to him.
"I made you a lunch." She uttered.
"Thanks. But..," Kame averted his eyes to someone's direction. "Don't you wanna give this home made lunch to a certain someone?"
"I'm not sure if it would be accepted." As she pulls one empty chair beside Kame's. "Where the hell is this kind of relationship going anyway? I'm not even sure if we really have that sort of relationship. Maybe he's just confused with his own feelings back then... after that whole confession thingy. Why suddenly put a wall between us?" Her gaze met Kame's blank stare, then she chuckled. "Why am I ranting? Anyway, Let's just eat."
Kame smiled. "You really like him, don't you?" he whispered right into Minami's ear.
...
If it's only possible to break the pen from beinf furious holding onto it, Akanishi's pen would've alrealy break into two now. It angers him to see from the corner of his eyes how Kame is getting so close with someone else, particularly with Minami, who's still unclear to him what their relationship is.
Even at this moment, he still wants to see Kame in great pain.
As usual, there are couple of bentou box on top of Akanishi's table, came from his so called fans ever since the moment he made himself approachable by those girls.
He was randomly picking foods from different bentou box while his mind was too occupied from observing Kame from the corner of his eyes.
~+~
When they were done with their lunch, Minami was cleaning out Kame's table, removing the bentou boxes they used.
"I'll wash this--" Minami's words were cut off when Kame stopped her hand.
"I'll do it." Kame started getting the lunch boxes from Minami's hand. "At least let me wash it. I wanna do it." He continues.
The girl smiled, "Alright. If you insist."
"I insist." Kame answered.
"Then this is all yours. I'll just go and wash my hands, okay?" She said as she made her way towards the door.
"Okay." Kame answered as he continue taking the dishes into his hands and then he went out of the classroom afterwards.
On the other side, Akanishi stood up and decided to go outside the classroom.
Kame took his time strolling on his way to a sink where he could wash the bentou boxes they used. He somehow feels happy that he was given a home-made lunch once again. He actually misses eating a home-made lunch... particularly the one made by Akanishi... Minami is a good cook, but Akanishi is pretty good at cooking as well. He actually wanted to taste the taller boy's cooking once again.
Kame sighed while reminiscing the precious moment he shared with Akanishi. He misses the time that they're having lunch together at...
He suddenly halted from his walk when he realized where he was actually heading. He was frozen from standing at the door, which is happened to be the science laboratory where he and Jin used to eat their lunch before.
His feet led him to the lab unconsciously...
His mind went blank of what he was supposed to do. He stepped inside. The surroundings brought back the memories. He took another step, trailing his finger on the edge of the tables and chairs as he walked by.
"I really missed that baka..." He softly mumbled, biting his lower lip. Then a sigh blew out from his mouth. He stood straight and started setting his mind into the reality that he is going to wash the dishes, and since the lab has a sink, he approached the sink and put the used bentou box in it.
He was about to turn on the faucet when he heard the boy that was on his mind a while ago, spoke. He abruptly took a peek from the open window to see if it's really the taller boy's voice or if it's just his imagination.
Kame's eyes got widened. He's indeed is Akanishi Jin, talking to...
"What is it to you? I thought you've got nothing to do with him anymore." Minami exclaimed.
Akanish sneered. "Well, out of curiosity. I'm sure you are aware that you," emphasizing the last word, "are not the type of his preference at all."
The girl sneered back. "Out of curiosity, huh? You really ought to know that much out of your curiosity, aren't you?"
Obviously, Akanishi got annoyed by the way Minami talks.
"Because I know him--"
"How well do you know him?" Minami cut whatever Akanishi was about to say.
"He's gay." Akanishi stated firmly. It's pissing him off, the way the girl in front of him acted.
"I don't think you know him that well. He's not that so called homo until you came into his life. You've just turned him that way. And now that you're out of his life, do you really think that he won't get back to his normal life once again?"
"What do you mean?" Why is that Akanishi feels that there's really something to know.
"Do you really wanna know?"
Akanishi's temper is really at his limit. He doesn't want to look like he's affected at all but the way the girl talks to him, it's really pissing him off.
“Whatever.” Akanishi casually answered. “Like you said, he's got nothing to do with me. Do as you please with him. Who cares.” Then he put a smirk on his face as then turns around and wave his right arm.
“Really?” Minami asked with a tone of sarcasm. And at the same time, she saw someone peeking from the window above them and realized that it was Kamenashi who apparently listening from the conversation.
“Really.”
~+~
Minami decided to go upstairs to where she had seen Kamenashi. She feels that someone is actually following her and had the feeling who might that person is. She grinned.
“Kame-chan.” Minami greets the boy who's still washing the dishes lazily. She make sure that the person tailing her heard the name she just mentioned. But apparently, Kame haven't heard her.
She silently steps inside, walking closer to Kame. When she is closer enough, she uttered “Hey!” surprising Kame.
“Hey. Wh-What are you doing here?”
Minami didn't answer him, instead she laid her head on Kame's shoulder.
“Let's go back to the class together, ne?”
The person who followed her before, on the other hand, was furiously gritting his teeth as he saw the scene.
TBC
=========
kowaii...
minna gomen ne for not updating for such a looong time. my bad..
hontou ni gomenasai*bows*
Author: neko-desukara
Pairing: AkaKame
Genre: Romance
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Kamenashi Kazuya disguised as a girl. When Akanishi Jin came, due to some circumstances they acted as a couple. but what if Kame falls for Jin?...
A/N: Arigatou gozaimashita
peace_l0v3 for doing such a great work on beta-ing this chapter^______^ *bows*
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CHAPTER 15:
Summer Vacation is over.
Everyone is excited to see familiar faces once again. The air is filled with noises of people getting thrilled to hear news from their friends and classmates from their own summer vacations.
A new day finally comes. School days starts once again.
A new day for Kame to attend school and face another chapter of his life. The atmosphere seems familiar to him. He’s not popular at their school but since gossip had spread, that he and the most popular guy in their school has something between them, people tend to know him, people he doesn’t even know. But still, he wasn’t been the popular one. He’s nothing but a mere side dish of the apple of everybody’s eyes; and even an eyesore for those people - girls specifically - who wanted his spot to become theirs.
But today is different.
As Kame strides the path towards their classroom, students stopped from walking, or whatever they were doing, throwing their gaze at him, studying him as if he's a new student at their school. The atmosphere became quiet. His steps filled the air this time. All he could hear was his own steps as no one seemed to have the time to gossip around as they fixed their eyes on him. Apparently, couldn’t figure out the familiar yet unfamiliar face they were looking at.
Apparently, everyone’s been hesitating to make their first move to approach him. They wanted to confirm something but they don’t really know how to make a sudden conversation with the person they used to know but then in between confusion if they really know this person walking in front of them.
“Kame-chan!” Minami called. All eyes averted on her. She gave those students who are having a big question mark look on their face, an answer from their unspoken query. They gaze on Kame again, who’s wearing uniform for boys. 'Why is Kame wearing a boy’s uniform? He even looks like a real boy.' Apparently, Kame’s classmates have been sharing the same thought.
“Ohayou.” Kame greeted Minami.
“Ohayou.” Minami greeted back with a smile on her face.
Then Kame’s gaze travels to one particular seat, not minding the other eyes staring at him. He saw Akanishi Jin looking at him. Kame throws his one sweetest smile. But Akanishi answered him with one pierced look.
It’s just been a month. Akanishi was expecting to see Kame still in his gloomy state. But how could Kame smile after what had happened? It doesn’t look like the smile wasn't real. Is it possible for someone who’s hurt to give a genuine smile like that? Not to mention, finding out that you are the reason why your sibling committed suicide? Well, human beings have their own personality as individuals. Maybe Akanishi assumed that Kame would be like his twin… even like him for that matter; that he would be in great pain after his heart shattered; that he won’t get over with the fact that he loved a guy and the fact that he turns gay but only to be played by that person, the first person he put his trust, and heart...
'Did he somehow cope with it…?'
Akanshi hated it. He feels the wrath arousing in his blood, seeing Kame in this different aura than what he expected. It can’t be. Kame should be crying. Kame should be sad. He wanted to see Kame sulking down, depressed, or even gets mad at the world. Why does Kame seems fine?
Akanishi doesn’t know why, but he wants to see Kame in a wreck, the anger inside him won’t vanish if Kame would stay that way…
“Whow!” Hyde-sensei exclaimed when he entered the room without the noise that usually greets him first before he even steps his foot inside the classroom.
“You, young people can be a good students sometimes.” The teacher remarked. Summer break had just ended. Students were expected to be excited seeing their classmates the first day, like when school started. And seeing these students in great silence at the day sensei wouldn’t expect
them to be, is a total shock for Hyde. He looked around, but his eyes suddenly halted from ogling when it was captivated by a figure that seems familiar to him, yet, looks totally different today. 'So that's why.' an answered spoke inside his mind.
“Kamenashi Kazuya.” Hyde-sensei uttered, emphasizing the name.
“Hai.” As Kame stared at the teacher in front of the class. He wonders what thought would be playing inside Hyde-sensei’s head right now. He knows that Hyde-sensei knew his kept secret, but now that he revealed it, he got nervous on how the teacher would react…
“You may take your seat. And the rest of you, please sit down.” Hyde-sensei simply ordered. Kame looked at the rest of the class as the students apparently surrendered as they take their own seats in the process. He then sat down. Except for one.
“Chotto matte!” That male student exclaimed. “Was that it? He,” pointing his finger on Kame’s direction, “is a BOY. He is supposed to be a girl! Wha-Sensei… aren’t you shocked seeing Kamenashi-chan as …a boy?”
“Yeah…” some students agrees in unison…
“Is he really Kamenashi Kazuya?...”
“He is! But why is he not a she? …Is he… a girl trying to look like a boy?...”
“Oi, Oi.” Hyde-sensei stole their attention. “You,” he’s pertaining to the boy who remains standing. “Please take your seat. I’ll start calling the attendance now.” Then he started calling the student’s name alphabetically, as the boy knows he couldn’t do anything anymore, he took his seat with a sigh.
Well, Kame expected that he could cause a scene today. He’s in third year in high school now, and soon will be graduating. But then, the girl Kamenashi Kazuya was the one attending this school when she’s still alive - that was the first and the second year.
Since grade school, the twins were attending different schools. They were both named Kamenashi Kazuya but since they were fraternal twins, Mr. and Mrs. Kamenashi didn’t expect that their twins would grow up having exactly the same face. They do really look alike. Having the face that would look like a girl and a boy at the same time. Having the same name and the same face is hell confusing to others. That’s why they decided that the twins should attend different schools.
After the girl Kame died, their mother seems to have lost her soul with her daughter. She’s crying all day and night. She won’t eat, she won’t stop sobbing, and she doesn’t want to talk to anybody and Kame understands it.
That's what he thought.
When they turn in junior high he was in his grandparents care at their home in the province area. At that time, he doesn’t know why he needed to be sent away, but he doesn’t necessarily care. It simply more like he didn’t think there's something behind all of that for all this time.
He had the idea of putting a disguise for the sake of his mother; so that his mother saw her daughter through him. Kame thought that it would help his mother recover from grieving because he knows that his mother was desperately missing her daughter so much it hurts her. She couldn’t accept the fact that her daughter is gone and won’t be coming back. He knows that his father was secretly weeping behind them, whenever he was alone…
That was what Kame thought all this time.
He never considered the reason why his twin has to commit suicide because he was always answered by his father that they never knew why. If Akanishi Jin didn’t appear before him and never did his vengeance, he wouldn’t know the whole thing about the secret of his family.
He remembers when he tried to ask his father about Kazuya, the girl who was named the same as he is. The one who loved him more than of a sibling’s love and affection. His own twin sister.
~+~
[flashback]
“Oyaji, please tell me… Do you know how Kazuya feels about me?” Kame started right after they made it outside his room, leaving Minami inside. His old man looked at him. Studying his reaction, and why the sudden conversation about his sister. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“Otousan,” Kame speaks with seriousness in his tone. “I need you to be honest with me.” He paused and sigh. “Am I… Am I the reason why she…?”
Kame couldn't utter the word he had in his mind. There’s a moment of silence between them before the old man answered him with another question.
“What is this all about? Who told you such stupid things?” as he tried to sound normal.
“It doesn’t matter who told me. Just answer my question.”
“Why could you be the reason why your sister died? You’re so far away from here when that...that incident occurred-” he was cut off. "Then why did she commit suicide?!"
"We don't know! I don't know..." Kamenashi-san took a deep breath. “Whatever that person told you, whoever he or she might be, that’s bullshit. What does that person know? You don’t necessarily have to believe what ever that person suddenly told you about your sister.”
“Does she love me?...” Kame averted the question to what he wanted to confirm.
“Of course she loves you. We do love you-”
“I mean, romantically?” Kame finished his sentence. “Does she have that kind of feelings toward me?”
Kamenashi-san blew out an exasperated sigh. “I think you’re missing your sister too much today. Just take a rest. I’m actually tired too. Just call me when dinner’s ready, alright.”
“You’re keeping something from me, aren’t you?” Kame stated.
The old man suddenly remembers the girl he saw inside his son’s bedroom. 'Who is she? Was she the one who told Kame these things?' He thought. Looking at his son right now, wearing his own clothes, he doesn’t look like he’s hiding his true identity to that girl.
“Who’s that girl inside your room? Did she tell you these stupid things?”
“She’s my classmate. And she’s got nothing to do with this. Someone told me the TRUTH and it’s not her. I wish you could tell me the truth too.”
“Kazuya,” the old man paused for a moment and never averting his eyes from his son, then he continued. “What makes you think that she or he is telling you the TRUTH? Y'know what? I don’t want to continue this conversation. Go back inside your room. Get some rest and forget about this-”
“Why won't you tell me?!” Kame yelled, irritated. “Why won’t you tell me about her? Why aren't you telling me what I should know? Why did you send me to Baa-san’s house? Why can't I stay with you here back then? Because you're keeping something from me. I was needed by my sister." There's a sudden crack from his voice, "If… If I’m just here… If I stayed beside her, maybe she wouldn’t think to…” he couldn't finish his sentence...
“I said go back to your room.” Kamenashi-san said firmly. He doesn’t have the heart to have this conversation with his son about the past… “This conversation is over.” Then he turned around and started walking away before he couldn’t escape from his son’s query.
“Fine! But this talk is not over unless you tell me why you’re doing this. Because I need to know!” he yelled at the back of his father’s figure. He then faces the door of his own room and opens it.
A force smile on Minami’s face greets him when he steps inside his room.
“H-Hi…” Minami nervously greets him. Kame assumes that Minami heard the whole conversation he had with his father, that’s why Minami’s kind of acting weird.
“Gomen…” She bows. “I didn't mean to hear you from here, but you suddenly left me there, then you suddenly started having some serious conversations with your father just outside this room. I couldn’t let my self popped out there in the middle of your hot discussion. So I stayed there…
Sumimasen…”
“Don’t worry. It’s not something that you didn’t know yet.”
Minami stared at Kamenashi.
"What?" Kame asked.
"Are you okay?"
"I'd like to say 'I'm okay' but, everything feels like a mess right now."
“So… you really think that Akanishi-kun is telling the truth about why your sister died?” Minami asked.
“More or less, yeah.” Kame answered. “Based on oyaji's reaction, I can see that he's hiding something, and that he's affected from what I had said."
“Kame-kun…" Minami started.
"What?"
"Eeumm...Y'know, it’s already in the past now. Do you still want to relive it? I mean, asking your Dad would bring him back sad memories. He lost your mother not too long ago when your twin sister passed away…”
“I lost mom too. And I don’t mean to bring him his blue days. I’m sad too, you know. And it even hurts to think that I’m the reason why Kazuya…” again Kame's lost in words… He looked down. The realization suddenly strike him - that he’s the reason why his sister… died… suddenly he couldn't breathe, and the pain is stirring up inside his chest. He was supposed to protect his only sister against any harm. But he didn't. He haven't done anything but cause her the pain she couldn’t handle herself…
“I haven’t been a good brother to her…” Kame murmured.
Minami sympathizes with her friend… she put her arms around her poor classmate and put Kame in a tight warm embrace. This is all she could do to console him.
“It’s not your fault." She patted Kame’s back in the process. “Don’t blame your self. I understand how you feel. Don’t worry; everything's going to be alright.”
…
When Minami knows that Kame feels a little better, she pulls herself away from him.
“Sorry-” she said but suddenly interrupted.
“Thank you. Thank you for being here.”
Minami smiled, so touched from Kame’s words. Then she got a moment to stare at the boy’s face.
“Kamenashi - I mean, your sister really do look like you. Look at you, why did God created you two like this?”
“What do you mean?" Kame seems to forget his worries.
“You’re handsome! If our girl classmates could see this side of you, you’ll definitely gain popularity like Akanishi for sure. And yet you have such a beautiful face!”
“You’re praising me too much.”
“Why don’t you show them this side of yours this time? And stop pretending to be your sister.”
“I can’t.”
“But why...”
Why… Kame thought. He started disguising because of his sick mother. Since his mother passed away, he doesn’t know why he didn’t stop this whole pretending. No one asked him to stop but now. And why couldn’t he stop…? There’s no sense on continuing his disguised for so long now…
“Why don’t you start to share your own world now, not other’s world. Start moving your own life. Put an end to Kamenashi Kazuya’s high school life and establish yours as the real Kamenashi Kazuya that you are. Try to look at it as your starting point. Beginnings came from ends after all.”
~+~
The next morning, Kame was called to the Principal’s office. He was accompanied by Hyde-sensei, leaving the rest of his students doing self study.
“This is disrespectful!” The principal exclaimed. “Don’t you know when to stop and think before you act? Do you know what you’ve done? You made us believed that you’re really a girl and that you’re the same student attending our school for the last two years.
Kame doesn’t know how to answer. He couldn’t think of anything to say. Why never prepare from all of this before deciding to make a change on his life? And now, where should he start explaining to the principal what he’d done and why he’d done it… This is a serious matter. Only necessary word should be spoken out.
The principal started talking again, “You’re not just fooling yourself or your classmates here. This is a mere act of showing your disrespect on your teachers, on me, and even in our school!” The principal stated infuriatingly.
Hyde-sensei tried to clear his throat. “Uhmm… Excuse me…”
“Do you want to say something, Hyde-sensei?” The principal asked.
“Ah, yes. Actually, I’m aware of what Kamenashi-kun did. We have kept it low due to some circumstances. I’m aware of what’s going on. Kamenashi-kun hasn’t done it for fun or something like that. He’d done that because he needed to and it concerns his family. His father actually talked to me and asked for permission for Kamenashi-kun to do something like this. I can assure you that Kamenashi-kun didn’t do it to cause trouble for any of us.”
The principal alternately stared at Hyde-sensei and the controversial student in front of her. Seemingly seizing the truth written on their faces, she sighed. “Alright. If what you did has a reason, and Hyde-sensei acknowledged it, fine. I won’t give you suspension, but,” she stared at Kame. “you better give people around you a better explanation. They won’t stop bugging you unless you gave them a satisfying answer.”
“I certainly will. Thank you very much for understanding.” Then he bows deeply.
~+~
Kame was the first one who stepped out from the faculty room but he waited outside for his teacher. He wanted to give his gratitude for saving his life from the sudden judgment day a while ago.
The door opened. Hyde-sensei stepped out from it. When the door closed, Kame abruptly bows his head.
“Arigatou gozaimashita!” He thanked him with full respect.
“Lift your head up, Kamenashi-kun. I haven’t done anything, really.” He scratches his head unconsciously.
“But you saved me in there! I actually lost of words and I don’t know if I would be forgiven if not for you.” Kame said as they started walking back to their classroom.
“Really? But you just have to tell her the truth. You’ve done nothing wrong, well, in my point of view. You’ve just done it because some situation calls for it. You did what you think is right.”
Kame suddenly halted. “Do you know… what happened to my family?” Kame remembers what Hyde-sensei said that his father asked him for permission. What permission? Kame never bothered to ask consent of his father before doing it. It was all his own idea. Maybe Hyde-sensei knows something he didn’t.
The teacher stopped from walking and turns around to look at him.
“You know why I disguised as my twin sister?" Kame repeated the question. "How…How did you know...?”
“Whow! Easy.” Hyde-sensei chuckled. “It’s not that I know everything. I mean, I don’t know anything! I just found out from your record that you’re not a girl, and there’s also a file that has the same name as you. You have the same name and you have the same look. But your records stated that you’re a transferee, and the other one is an old student from this school. From there I found out that you're twins and at that time, I was eager to know more. Then I talked to you and tried searching about the other Kamenashi Kazuya as well. Then, I found out that she committed suicide, and then your mother got sick. Afterwards, you started attending this school in disguise. Your mother died in depression. It’s really kind of simple to understand why you have that idea - the disguise thing.”
“So my father didn’t ask you anything, like what you’ve said to the principal?”
“No. He didn’t.”
“Is… that all you know?”
Hyde-sensei looked at Kame, studying what reaction his face was showing. “What? There's still more?” He asked.
“Ah... No-” he was stopped when Hyde's finger suddenly popped in front of his face.
“Sou ka! There's still something missing. Your twin sister committed suicide, right? But why? Does she have a huge burden she couldn't handle?”
The teacher suddenly got all hype-up to know the missing pieces. He was able to know Kame disguised himself as a girl and then he found out that there is actually a girl Kame who was attending their school from previous year, but the girl suddenly ended her life. He was curious to know the story behind it, but Kame doesn't have a plan on giving an answer to that question. He doesn't even want to talk about it, it's just too personal.
Kame was in deep thought. He was not gonna talk about his sister's death, but he hesitated on whether to say no to his teacher..
Hyde-sensei noticed the hesitation and he realized that the question he threw was stepping inside Kamenashi's border line, which he wasn't supposed to do.
“Ah... Gomen. I wasn't suppose to meddling into someone's life. I'm really sorry.”
Kame smiles. “Thank you.” he said.
~+~
Another day had passed. Everything has been okay. Kame's issue has been settled down and nobody talks about it anymore.
Kame suddenly becomes popular with girls, but his attitude apparently didn't change much. He doesn't want attention and the only person who could speak to him normally was Minami. The other girls wanted to do the same, but too indecisive to get close to him. Maybe because he never smiled at them. He never even spare a glance on them, only giving glances to the same person.
But unfortunately, Kame and Akanishi's relationship doesn't have any improvement. Apparently, the latter is still angry with him for some reason.
Akanishi put back his emotionless stare and look straight to Kame's eyes.
Kame on the other hand, felt kind of disappointed. It's been two weeks after their summer break, and Akanishi is still cold towards him. But then again, the smile curve on his lips when the thought of being able to see Akanishi crosses his mind. It doesn't matter if the taller boy won't pay attention to him, all he ever wanted is to see Akanishi moved on.
The smaller boy then took his seat just beside Akanishi Jin's. Even though they weren't talking, being next to Akanishi somehow feels a little better.
Kame still feels the same way towards him, but he feels that he's okay now, and what he was hoping for is for Akanishi to move on as well.
Apparently, the taller boy did. He's talking with everyone except for Kame. Even so, that's way better, Kame thought.
~+~
The half of the day passed as usual with listening from teacher's lectures from the first three subjects. It is the time for their lunch and Kame now is packing his things back to his bag before they went to cafeteria to grab some food for his lunch. Before he was even done from what he was doing, a bentou box suddenly appeared on top of his table. He lift up his gaze and saw Minami smiling to him.
"I made you a lunch." She uttered.
"Thanks. But..," Kame averted his eyes to someone's direction. "Don't you wanna give this home made lunch to a certain someone?"
"I'm not sure if it would be accepted." As she pulls one empty chair beside Kame's. "Where the hell is this kind of relationship going anyway? I'm not even sure if we really have that sort of relationship. Maybe he's just confused with his own feelings back then... after that whole confession thingy. Why suddenly put a wall between us?" Her gaze met Kame's blank stare, then she chuckled. "Why am I ranting? Anyway, Let's just eat."
Kame smiled. "You really like him, don't you?" he whispered right into Minami's ear.
...
If it's only possible to break the pen from beinf furious holding onto it, Akanishi's pen would've alrealy break into two now. It angers him to see from the corner of his eyes how Kame is getting so close with someone else, particularly with Minami, who's still unclear to him what their relationship is.
Even at this moment, he still wants to see Kame in great pain.
As usual, there are couple of bentou box on top of Akanishi's table, came from his so called fans ever since the moment he made himself approachable by those girls.
He was randomly picking foods from different bentou box while his mind was too occupied from observing Kame from the corner of his eyes.
~+~
When they were done with their lunch, Minami was cleaning out Kame's table, removing the bentou boxes they used.
"I'll wash this--" Minami's words were cut off when Kame stopped her hand.
"I'll do it." Kame started getting the lunch boxes from Minami's hand. "At least let me wash it. I wanna do it." He continues.
The girl smiled, "Alright. If you insist."
"I insist." Kame answered.
"Then this is all yours. I'll just go and wash my hands, okay?" She said as she made her way towards the door.
"Okay." Kame answered as he continue taking the dishes into his hands and then he went out of the classroom afterwards.
On the other side, Akanishi stood up and decided to go outside the classroom.
Kame took his time strolling on his way to a sink where he could wash the bentou boxes they used. He somehow feels happy that he was given a home-made lunch once again. He actually misses eating a home-made lunch... particularly the one made by Akanishi... Minami is a good cook, but Akanishi is pretty good at cooking as well. He actually wanted to taste the taller boy's cooking once again.
Kame sighed while reminiscing the precious moment he shared with Akanishi. He misses the time that they're having lunch together at...
He suddenly halted from his walk when he realized where he was actually heading. He was frozen from standing at the door, which is happened to be the science laboratory where he and Jin used to eat their lunch before.
His feet led him to the lab unconsciously...
His mind went blank of what he was supposed to do. He stepped inside. The surroundings brought back the memories. He took another step, trailing his finger on the edge of the tables and chairs as he walked by.
"I really missed that baka..." He softly mumbled, biting his lower lip. Then a sigh blew out from his mouth. He stood straight and started setting his mind into the reality that he is going to wash the dishes, and since the lab has a sink, he approached the sink and put the used bentou box in it.
He was about to turn on the faucet when he heard the boy that was on his mind a while ago, spoke. He abruptly took a peek from the open window to see if it's really the taller boy's voice or if it's just his imagination.
Kame's eyes got widened. He's indeed is Akanishi Jin, talking to...
"What is it to you? I thought you've got nothing to do with him anymore." Minami exclaimed.
Akanish sneered. "Well, out of curiosity. I'm sure you are aware that you," emphasizing the last word, "are not the type of his preference at all."
The girl sneered back. "Out of curiosity, huh? You really ought to know that much out of your curiosity, aren't you?"
Obviously, Akanishi got annoyed by the way Minami talks.
"Because I know him--"
"How well do you know him?" Minami cut whatever Akanishi was about to say.
"He's gay." Akanishi stated firmly. It's pissing him off, the way the girl in front of him acted.
"I don't think you know him that well. He's not that so called homo until you came into his life. You've just turned him that way. And now that you're out of his life, do you really think that he won't get back to his normal life once again?"
"What do you mean?" Why is that Akanishi feels that there's really something to know.
"Do you really wanna know?"
Akanishi's temper is really at his limit. He doesn't want to look like he's affected at all but the way the girl talks to him, it's really pissing him off.
“Whatever.” Akanishi casually answered. “Like you said, he's got nothing to do with me. Do as you please with him. Who cares.” Then he put a smirk on his face as then turns around and wave his right arm.
“Really?” Minami asked with a tone of sarcasm. And at the same time, she saw someone peeking from the window above them and realized that it was Kamenashi who apparently listening from the conversation.
“Really.”
~+~
Minami decided to go upstairs to where she had seen Kamenashi. She feels that someone is actually following her and had the feeling who might that person is. She grinned.
“Kame-chan.” Minami greets the boy who's still washing the dishes lazily. She make sure that the person tailing her heard the name she just mentioned. But apparently, Kame haven't heard her.
She silently steps inside, walking closer to Kame. When she is closer enough, she uttered “Hey!” surprising Kame.
“Hey. Wh-What are you doing here?”
Minami didn't answer him, instead she laid her head on Kame's shoulder.
“Let's go back to the class together, ne?”
The person who followed her before, on the other hand, was furiously gritting his teeth as he saw the scene.
TBC
=========
kowaii...
minna gomen ne for not updating for such a looong time. my bad..
hontou ni gomenasai*bows*