damaged...
There is a song that I heard years ago… a trance song called “Damaged”… it spoke to the hurt that I felt on almost a daily basis, from being with my ex. He was an angry man who abused me physically, mentally, emotionally and at times, sexually… So this song resonated with me from the “lost” feelings that left me in a fog most of the time. I can’t say that my entire life with him was bad, because like MOST abusive men, there were moments of calm and even joy between us… but those times were marred by the black oily stains of rage, fear and pain that were lingering just beyond my peripheral vision at all times.
Today, I heard the original version of the song by a singer/songwriter named Plumb… The original is superior to the club remix for many reasons, but the most obvious is the inclusion of an extra stanza…
There's mending for my soul
And ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man
Who was stronger
I was just a little girl
But I can't look back
It made me weep… Not tears of pain and hurt that I wept at one time… but tears of joy and gratefulness… It is SO WONDERFUL to know that I don’t have to be a slave to my anger and hurt… that I can let go… that I can *choose* to forgive --not just him, but *everyone* in my life who has hurt or betrayed me! Some things and some people are easier than others… but I know that God wants us to forgive those who used and even abused us… and with His grace… I can. It is a… magnanimous… feeling. <3
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