I'M SPEAKING DIRECTLY TO ALASKA'S BRAIN
All this "Sarah Palin resigning to save the children" shit is MAKING MY FUCKING WEEKEND. I forgot how amazingly surreal just listening to this woman speak is. It's like this one time I downloaded the wrong version of a telenovela and the dub was in Portuguese instead of Spanish, which I didn't figure out until about five confused minutes in. Sarah Palin is speaking her own dialect of crazy and, lo, it is good. From the text of the speech:
I do not want to disappoint anyone with my decision; all I can ask is that you trust me with this decision - but it’s no more “politics as usual”.
Was anyone else really upset that she did not call herself a maverick?
Some Alaskans don’t mind wasting public dollars and state time. I do. I cannot stand here as your Governor and allow millions upon millions of our dollars go to waste just so I can hold the title of Governor. And my children won’t allow it either.
I, just...you guys, does she realize that this excuse doesn't even deserve to be called one? Why couldn't she just say that she's quitting to spend more time with family or something? Sure it's flimsy, but it's at least plausible and, hey, it could play up the "happy homemaker" side of things, and wouldn't her base just eat that up? But instead we get this verbal diarrhea, the gist of which is "uh, I'm terrible at being a governor and my kids agree with me lol."
All this is like America's gift to me, and that gift is lolz and lots of them. THANK YOU AMERICA, I TRULY DID NOT APPRECIATE YOU UNTIL NOW.
I do not want to disappoint anyone with my decision; all I can ask is that you trust me with this decision - but it’s no more “politics as usual”.
Was anyone else really upset that she did not call herself a maverick?
Some Alaskans don’t mind wasting public dollars and state time. I do. I cannot stand here as your Governor and allow millions upon millions of our dollars go to waste just so I can hold the title of Governor. And my children won’t allow it either.
I, just...you guys, does she realize that this excuse doesn't even deserve to be called one? Why couldn't she just say that she's quitting to spend more time with family or something? Sure it's flimsy, but it's at least plausible and, hey, it could play up the "happy homemaker" side of things, and wouldn't her base just eat that up? But instead we get this verbal diarrhea, the gist of which is "uh, I'm terrible at being a governor and my kids agree with me lol."
All this is like America's gift to me, and that gift is lolz and lots of them. THANK YOU AMERICA, I TRULY DID NOT APPRECIATE YOU UNTIL NOW.