smoking and bad habits
had five cigarettes yesterday, which is five more than usual. i find myself wanting to smoke, looking forward to having a cigarette at lunch, getting excited that i'm off work so that i can smoke. it seems more mental - the thought of smoking - rather than an actual "give me nicotine!" but how do i know when i've crossed over the line from psychological attraction to physical addiction? i can feel that i'm tempting fate right now, because i have never wanted to smoke this much (except when i first turned 18 in college). and i know so many people ready to kick my ass if i actually start. so what's the deal? i can't decide if i should continue smoking until that pack is done, to sate whatever unconscious reasons i have for smoking, or just stop NOW. i'm afraid that for the first time in my life, it may be too late if i wait.
im trying to think of smoking as an anchor for the other bad body habits bothering me right now (eating carb stuff i shouldn't and picking at my face). perhaps if i am mindful of the negative consequences of all three of these, and concentrate on releasing them as i smoke, when i make myself stop i can stop all three.
the reason people don't stop smoking, or doing any other sort of bad habit, comes down to the fact that no matter how much they know it's not good for them, they want to continue that habit. how much of my daily life is devoted to perpetuating things that don't serve my goals simply because i want to keep doing them? how long will it take me to match my daily life up with where i want to go?
im trying to think of smoking as an anchor for the other bad body habits bothering me right now (eating carb stuff i shouldn't and picking at my face). perhaps if i am mindful of the negative consequences of all three of these, and concentrate on releasing them as i smoke, when i make myself stop i can stop all three.
the reason people don't stop smoking, or doing any other sort of bad habit, comes down to the fact that no matter how much they know it's not good for them, they want to continue that habit. how much of my daily life is devoted to perpetuating things that don't serve my goals simply because i want to keep doing them? how long will it take me to match my daily life up with where i want to go?