greetings dudes
i didn't make it to portland! im laying in bed, sore as hell.
story:
of course, i got into an accident. i say of course because i was having a bad feeling about the drive, and i thought i was just being nervous, or paranoid, hoping that if i'd ignore it, it would go away and everything would be fine. but, ignoring my instincts that something bad might happen, i got in my car, picked up the craigslist 'i need a ride to portland' girl and we started on our way. in vacaville, in the fast lane, this jetta looking car in front of me started to slow down pretty quickly, so i slowed down to compensate and then bamn she stopped and i couldn't stop in time so i hit her. both me and the girl in the passenger seat's glasses flew off our faces and onto the ground. we were both wearing our seatbelts, luckily. my chest is scratched and bruised from it, gross. but basically my car is totally gone, and technically it was my fault for not being able to stop in time. all day yesterday was this weird process of realization of what happened, i guess like a pattern of emotional digestion. disbelief, "i can't afford this right now, i can't afford this right now," weeping, guilt, concern for myself and others, anger and gratitude for highway patrol, i laughed a little in the tow truck thinking that now i can work on getting rid of my driver's arm tan. but then i started to go into this weird mourning, like i'd just killed my best friend. that car was really special to me. having it gave me so much freedom, not like just teenager freedom, but the freedom to get away from my family when it was hard to be in the house, the freedom of just knowing that i could go absolutely wherever i wanted. that was important to me, and i have so much more than just memories in that car. i still have this freedom, of course, it's just gonna be a little bit harder.
but i'm gonna give myself a few days to feel less like a creaky old woman and become a craigslist 'i need a ride to portland!' girl myself. i have to figure everything out with the insurance company and the DMV and stuff, too. super lame, but okay! things could be so much worse. i am lucky that i or anyone else wasn't hurt.
rest in piece, best friend!
story:
of course, i got into an accident. i say of course because i was having a bad feeling about the drive, and i thought i was just being nervous, or paranoid, hoping that if i'd ignore it, it would go away and everything would be fine. but, ignoring my instincts that something bad might happen, i got in my car, picked up the craigslist 'i need a ride to portland' girl and we started on our way. in vacaville, in the fast lane, this jetta looking car in front of me started to slow down pretty quickly, so i slowed down to compensate and then bamn she stopped and i couldn't stop in time so i hit her. both me and the girl in the passenger seat's glasses flew off our faces and onto the ground. we were both wearing our seatbelts, luckily. my chest is scratched and bruised from it, gross. but basically my car is totally gone, and technically it was my fault for not being able to stop in time. all day yesterday was this weird process of realization of what happened, i guess like a pattern of emotional digestion. disbelief, "i can't afford this right now, i can't afford this right now," weeping, guilt, concern for myself and others, anger and gratitude for highway patrol, i laughed a little in the tow truck thinking that now i can work on getting rid of my driver's arm tan. but then i started to go into this weird mourning, like i'd just killed my best friend. that car was really special to me. having it gave me so much freedom, not like just teenager freedom, but the freedom to get away from my family when it was hard to be in the house, the freedom of just knowing that i could go absolutely wherever i wanted. that was important to me, and i have so much more than just memories in that car. i still have this freedom, of course, it's just gonna be a little bit harder.
but i'm gonna give myself a few days to feel less like a creaky old woman and become a craigslist 'i need a ride to portland!' girl myself. i have to figure everything out with the insurance company and the DMV and stuff, too. super lame, but okay! things could be so much worse. i am lucky that i or anyone else wasn't hurt.
rest in piece, best friend!