wdoml4
so yesterday was worst day of my life number....4?
something like that. my mom is having some serious problems with eveything i do and she thinks she knows everything about me and she is just putting together all these things in her head that ,apparently, i'm going to fall into or i am doing or i am thinking or whatever. its so stupid. its just becoming more and more obvious that her image of me was not made by observing my actions, but rather, thinking them up in her head.
i had some dumb dreams last night:
i was camping. rob was a pro dirt bike guy and was doing crazy jumps. i reached out my hands for mitchell but we were separated by a glass wall. he was going to florida and didnt seem to care that he was leaving me. i was smoking. devan's friend ian gave me the cigarette. my sister kept swearing. i think peener was there some place.
it wasnt all one dream and i dont think those are in any order.
i really dont know what is going to happen after yesterday, and i'm terrified of what my mom is going to say to me later. she said a lot to me yesterday, but all i remember is that she said, "things are gonna change." i dont understand WHY things have to change... but i hope its nothing too drastic... i couldnt handle that. i cant even handle thinking about it. my eyes are still puffy from crying all day.
why would anyone want to take me away from the person i love? who i could spend every second with and never get bored. you're my best friend in the whole world!!!!!! she wants the best for me...but how can making me more depressed than i've ever been before benefit me at all???
yesterday was so weird. my mom being gay, and rob moving, and mitch's teeth....we all tried to cover it up, having fun...but it just hits so hard when the laughing stops...
something like that. my mom is having some serious problems with eveything i do and she thinks she knows everything about me and she is just putting together all these things in her head that ,apparently, i'm going to fall into or i am doing or i am thinking or whatever. its so stupid. its just becoming more and more obvious that her image of me was not made by observing my actions, but rather, thinking them up in her head.
i had some dumb dreams last night:
i was camping. rob was a pro dirt bike guy and was doing crazy jumps. i reached out my hands for mitchell but we were separated by a glass wall. he was going to florida and didnt seem to care that he was leaving me. i was smoking. devan's friend ian gave me the cigarette. my sister kept swearing. i think peener was there some place.
it wasnt all one dream and i dont think those are in any order.
i really dont know what is going to happen after yesterday, and i'm terrified of what my mom is going to say to me later. she said a lot to me yesterday, but all i remember is that she said, "things are gonna change." i dont understand WHY things have to change... but i hope its nothing too drastic... i couldnt handle that. i cant even handle thinking about it. my eyes are still puffy from crying all day.
why would anyone want to take me away from the person i love? who i could spend every second with and never get bored. you're my best friend in the whole world!!!!!! she wants the best for me...but how can making me more depressed than i've ever been before benefit me at all???
yesterday was so weird. my mom being gay, and rob moving, and mitch's teeth....we all tried to cover it up, having fun...but it just hits so hard when the laughing stops...