This was so so soooo lovely a read! Just what I needed on a lazy Saturday evening. You've got the characters down so well, and I loved seeing Neal do the smart thing for a change (i.e. call Peter for help).
This: “I won't even tell Elizabeth if you use the ketchup.”totally made me smile. Very Neal
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Mmm, I see your point about Neal bringing Dyer back to his apartment... Guess I should've thought of that (though it probably would've nipped all my ideas in the bud if I had, lol). In the spirit of the prompt, I wanted Neal to really face Dyer, without Peter being there. If Neal had taken Dyer directly to Peter...well, there really wouldn't have been much of an opportunity for Neal to stand up for himself without direct, present backup from Peter. :P So I guess I'll have to go with the Neal-not-thinking-straight option. I think he also slips back into a “lone wolf” mentality as soon as Dyer starts threatening him again, and he starts making all his plans under the assumption that he is on his own--at least until his big “duh” moment, in the morning. XD
But, yay! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I wrote the whole ketchup debate out of experience, because my dad and my brother put it on pretty much everything, no matter how painstakingly seasoned and prepared (which kinda makes you despair of trying to make anything “fancy,” just to
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Wow--I'm so sorry you had to go through all that! Neal's reaction to Dyer wasn't something I planned out and researched in depth, so much as my instinctive feeling of what his fear-based reaction might be, with Dyer suddenly appearing back in his life. As clever as Neal is, he's still definitely human, and I do think it was a moment of "unthinking obedience."
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this!
*Jumps up and down gibbering in joy* This! This is exactly what I wanted! Oh, Neal *hugs him* Wanting so much not to be the victim, but finally fighting back like only Caffrey can - using his head. I loved that part, because that is totally Neal, solving problems with his head, which is what I love about it. I'm such a sucker for cleverness.
And Dyer was the perfect villain. I just wanted to throttle him from the get go. Neal taking him down and Peter threatening him was pure gold. Love, love, love! Thank you so much for answering my prompt. You've really made my day with this :D
I really liked the story, very well written and refreshing to see Neal do the smart thing, even though he had second thoughts for a while, that's just Neal being Neal. It's when Neal doesn't ask for help and attempts to get around the law that he gets into the most trouble.
I also loved the way Peter was so angry but he kept his cool when talking to Dyer, making the message even scarier.
I loved how Neal self-analyzed whay he hadn't run away for months when he was 15 and the dynamic that was now. Many times, when caught by surprise people react to situations the same way they did as children or teenagers even though they know better.
**SQWEE**! Lovely, you are a fantastic writer, this is pure genius. I wish I could write characters as well as you! The "I won't even tell Elizabeth if you use Ketchup" line made me smile when I read it. Protective-Peter(Yet in character!!) makes my heart swell. Over all, amazing! ~Nayah
I love you forever for writing this. I absolutely loved every bit of it. Halfway through the second part I started dreading scrolling down the page, simply because it meant that I was drawing closer to the end.
There's so much I just adored about this story. My favorite part was probably that Neal really saved himself. Sure, Peter was protective and supportive when Neal needed it, and Neal really found the courage to stand up for himself because he knew Peter was behind him, but Neal wasn't a damsel in distress either.
Also, I really like the idea of Neal thinking of his radius as his radius, his own little safe haven. Stifling, yes, but comforting, too.
Finally, your characterizations are so spot on that I could hear the characters' voices. It was such a wonderful read, rather like watching it unfold in an episode. Thank you sooooooo much for sharing!
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This:
“I won't even tell Elizabeth if you use the ketchup.”totally made me smile. Very Neal ( ... )
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But, yay! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I wrote the whole ketchup debate out of experience, because my dad and my brother put it on pretty much everything, no matter how painstakingly seasoned and prepared (which kinda makes you despair of trying to make anything “fancy,” just to ( ... )
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this!
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And Dyer was the perfect villain. I just wanted to throttle him from the get go. Neal taking him down and Peter threatening him was pure gold. Love, love, love! Thank you so much for answering my prompt. You've really made my day with this :D
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I also loved the way Peter was so angry but he kept his cool when talking to Dyer, making the message even scarier.
I loved how Neal self-analyzed whay he hadn't run away for months when he was 15 and the dynamic that was now. Many times, when caught by surprise people react to situations the same way they did as children or teenagers even though they know better.
Really a very good job.
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There's so much I just adored about this story. My favorite part was probably that Neal really saved himself. Sure, Peter was protective and supportive when Neal needed it, and Neal really found the courage to stand up for himself because he knew Peter was behind him, but Neal wasn't a damsel in distress either.
Also, I really like the idea of Neal thinking of his radius as his radius, his own little safe haven. Stifling, yes, but comforting, too.
Finally, your characterizations are so spot on that I could hear the characters' voices. It was such a wonderful read, rather like watching it unfold in an episode.
Thank you sooooooo much for sharing!
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Thank you! It makes me so happy when I can write something people really enjoy. :3 I appreciate your comments very much!
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