(no subject)
Well this week has been all fucked up, as always. We had the funeral and rosary for Bruce. It always sucks for my b-day, first Bruce's death then my car still doen't work and I hate having feelings. All this week was nothing but crying. I hate feeling depressed and sad, but I can't help it. It was supposed to be the best b-day ever since Bruce was gonna take me partying and take me to Grams and the OP but he didn't even get a chance to do that. So, since my b-day ALWAYS sucks I am not gonna acknowledge that I even have one since no one else cares. Everyone remembers my lil sis and my older sis but not mine it just pisses my off. Especially my nina, I fucken hate her. My mom is planing an get-together for her b-day. She didn't even call me for mine so why the fuck should I participate? She gave my lil sis 100 bucks for her last b-day and has given her money for all of them and me nothing in the 21 yrs that she has been my nina. Ohh well I guess I am not worth it but I don't care ya I got that out of my system. I think I am gonna become an alcholic now that I can buy it, lol. I guess I just feel like shit. I hate the fact that I am a 21 yr old virgin. I hate it. I am the oldest fucken virgin out there. I think I am gonna have to hire someone to get laid by since the only person that would even look at my like that is a 50 yr old man that works for Gabriel's dad. That is all I get attention from. Well at least I am happy that I am better looking than a 50yr, lol. You know what fuck it I am gonna stop being so fucken negative and I am gonna flrit my ass off, I don't give a shit if they are 18 or 150. I think it is time for me to become a conniving little bitch. And now that my stupid lil sis painted her hair black guess what color I am gonna paint mine, hmmmmm......... Yeah that is right I am gonna go blond. I hate having anything the same as her so I have to go drastic. I am gonna do this 4 halloween just in case it looks like shit I can make the excuse that it was for halloween, lol. Well the only good news I got this week was that KoRn is coming!!! Hell ya I have waited for this for a fucken 2yrs! I am soo HAPPY!!!