recently...
i have come to several realizations.
1. i go into most situations with very low expectations.
i have recently been told by most people in my life that certain decisions i am making are only going to harm me in the long run. i was trying to figure out why they thought this and have come to the conclusion that i expect so little from other people that i do not make them own their shit when they do something wrong...and this is why i get hurt...because they continue to do whatever it is they are doing knowing there will be no repercussions.
2. i really need to work harder on finding a balance in life between rationality and emotion.
while i pride myself in trying to lead a life based purely in rationality...i realize that this is not possible. i have found that is either one or the other with me...and that has proven not to be successful. once i let some bit of emotion aid me in anything in my life i remember how good that can feel sometimes...and i guess i make up for lost time. i must find a way to integrate both into my life.
3. i want to own my own dance studio one day.
now, i am not saying that i do not want to teach philosophy anymore, because i do...but i had forgotten in the time that i took off from dancing, how much i enjoy it. as much as i complain about how i hurt all the time, it really is one of the few things that i look forward to...and i want to help other people possibly find this same feeling...i really just want to teach other people about the things that i am passionate about...ballet and philosophy.
4. i need to stop deconstructing everything in my life and just go with it.
i feel as if i may be ruining certain things...things that make me remember that i have a heart...by deconstructing them to the point that they almost do not exist anymore. i need to learn to let things happen...because a forced feeling is not a true one...and we all know about my obsession with making everything in my life one with truth.
more to come.
1. i go into most situations with very low expectations.
i have recently been told by most people in my life that certain decisions i am making are only going to harm me in the long run. i was trying to figure out why they thought this and have come to the conclusion that i expect so little from other people that i do not make them own their shit when they do something wrong...and this is why i get hurt...because they continue to do whatever it is they are doing knowing there will be no repercussions.
2. i really need to work harder on finding a balance in life between rationality and emotion.
while i pride myself in trying to lead a life based purely in rationality...i realize that this is not possible. i have found that is either one or the other with me...and that has proven not to be successful. once i let some bit of emotion aid me in anything in my life i remember how good that can feel sometimes...and i guess i make up for lost time. i must find a way to integrate both into my life.
3. i want to own my own dance studio one day.
now, i am not saying that i do not want to teach philosophy anymore, because i do...but i had forgotten in the time that i took off from dancing, how much i enjoy it. as much as i complain about how i hurt all the time, it really is one of the few things that i look forward to...and i want to help other people possibly find this same feeling...i really just want to teach other people about the things that i am passionate about...ballet and philosophy.
4. i need to stop deconstructing everything in my life and just go with it.
i feel as if i may be ruining certain things...things that make me remember that i have a heart...by deconstructing them to the point that they almost do not exist anymore. i need to learn to let things happen...because a forced feeling is not a true one...and we all know about my obsession with making everything in my life one with truth.
more to come.