piss factory
Im riding the Pms wave and it's enough to make me crazy.
Work is becoming unbearable, and for the past 3 weeks I have had to do pretty much nothing. Just being there skeeves me out now. We went to Maryland last weekend, which was nice, even though coming back to my peice of shit job was made 10 times harder. I have been excersizing alot lately. Maybe because I am building muscle and it's pushing the fat out more or something but jesus christ, it feels like the more I work out the fatter I get. I realize I have a bad case of distorted self image and I try try try to look in the mirror and tell the monster staring back at me "I'm not going to freak out, because you are not real...I'm not gonna freak out...because you are not...OH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" Thats how it usually ends. I feell uncomfortable in my clothes, I want to cut all my hair off which I'm definitely going to do, I just want out out out of this body and it's fucking with me. And how long can I bitch to andrew before he tires of saying how pretty he thinks I am.. It's enough to make me want to scream until my body turns inside out and I'm just a walking manican you see in a science class room with all the veins and organs visible.
As of lately I have had the feeling of loneliness quite often. Lastnight, room full of people. I, even in my insecure state, found it in me to be loud and make people laugh. Everyone having the good time I'm working so hard for and in the end it's me just staring at everyone talking amoungst themselves and thinking "if this house had 13 floors instead of just one I would go up to the very top and romantisize jumping out of a window. "The power is mine" I fucking doubt it.
verizon sent me a 20 dollar gift card to target, thats neat.
I found out from my aunt who does facials and what not that pro active is actually not good for your skin.. WHOO FUCKING HOO HUH! it never worked for me infact just made my situation much worst it seems like and made my face form a wrinkle located by my mouth on the right side FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL SOMEONE THROW ME A FUCKING BONE! sorry... and so, I have to wait to go back so that she can work on my face.... *shakes head violently" 23 years old, Not pubesent because my face forms wrinkles but akward because I now have wrinkles and pimples.. and as I always say thank you to sleater kinney
"My whole life, is a picture of a sunny day"
Work is becoming unbearable, and for the past 3 weeks I have had to do pretty much nothing. Just being there skeeves me out now. We went to Maryland last weekend, which was nice, even though coming back to my peice of shit job was made 10 times harder. I have been excersizing alot lately. Maybe because I am building muscle and it's pushing the fat out more or something but jesus christ, it feels like the more I work out the fatter I get. I realize I have a bad case of distorted self image and I try try try to look in the mirror and tell the monster staring back at me "I'm not going to freak out, because you are not real...I'm not gonna freak out...because you are not...OH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" Thats how it usually ends. I feell uncomfortable in my clothes, I want to cut all my hair off which I'm definitely going to do, I just want out out out of this body and it's fucking with me. And how long can I bitch to andrew before he tires of saying how pretty he thinks I am.. It's enough to make me want to scream until my body turns inside out and I'm just a walking manican you see in a science class room with all the veins and organs visible.
As of lately I have had the feeling of loneliness quite often. Lastnight, room full of people. I, even in my insecure state, found it in me to be loud and make people laugh. Everyone having the good time I'm working so hard for and in the end it's me just staring at everyone talking amoungst themselves and thinking "if this house had 13 floors instead of just one I would go up to the very top and romantisize jumping out of a window. "The power is mine" I fucking doubt it.
verizon sent me a 20 dollar gift card to target, thats neat.
I found out from my aunt who does facials and what not that pro active is actually not good for your skin.. WHOO FUCKING HOO HUH! it never worked for me infact just made my situation much worst it seems like and made my face form a wrinkle located by my mouth on the right side FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL SOMEONE THROW ME A FUCKING BONE! sorry... and so, I have to wait to go back so that she can work on my face.... *shakes head violently" 23 years old, Not pubesent because my face forms wrinkles but akward because I now have wrinkles and pimples.. and as I always say thank you to sleater kinney
"My whole life, is a picture of a sunny day"